Prepositions

by Lionel Shriver

Genres: Short Stories

Audiobook

First published September 25, 2013

About the author

Lionel Shriver's novels include the New York Times bestseller The Post-Birthday World and the international bestseller We Need to Talk About Kevin, which won the 2005 Orange Prize and has now sold over a million copies worldwide. Earlier books include Double Fault, A Perfectly Good Family, and Checker and the Derailleurs. Her novels have been translated into twenty-five languages. Her journalism has appeared in the Guardian, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and many other publications. She lives in London and Brooklyn, New York.

Author photo copyright Jerry Bauer, courtesy of Harper Collins.

Reviews

[Amanda Clinch]

S u p p o s i t i o n s - A R e s p o n s e

Dear Rachel
I am writing following your letter which I received two weeks ago. It has taken me some time to respond as I was surprised, no, shocked and dismayed by the contents and mixture of emotions. I wanted to send a considered reply.
Yes, I agree we have been friends since our chance meeting on holiday. What’s more, our joint experiences on the fated day in September ten years ago have given us even more common ground. However, your take on our relationship is at odds with my own.
You talk about how prepositions or one single letter has altered the perception of our respective situations. Yet your suppositions about my feelings and experiences, both prior to and following the deaths of our husbands, could not be further from the truth.
When we met, you said our two couples shared a great deal of common ground and were particularly like-minded. The truth is that you both terrified me, laying bare the shortcomings of mine and David’s relationship. You and Paul were so together, laughing and touching constantly. You actually enjoyed each others’ company, whereas I was stuck in a loveless marriage with a man I no longer even knew. Our life together was mundane and lacking.
The “suppurating sores” I suffered on that trip were actually stress-related, brought on by my feelings of inferiority to you, with your thick, lush, blonde hair, lithe body, pretty features and overflowing confidence, compared with my mediocre looks and crushing insecurities.
I must say that the day itself, when our husbands died, is an absolute blur to me. They went to work as usual in the morning, just never came back. We mourned our respective losses, you, because your heart was broken, I, because I was expected to.
Paul was a good guy. He wanted to help people, putting himself out and performing altruistic acts. David was a lazy, money grabbing bully.
My marriage was a sham. I wanted an escape route; I needed to get out for my own sanity. 9/11 gave me that route. There is now no David to belittle, taunt and torture me.
Had there been a body to bury, I would have danced on his grave. However, the public outpouring of grief for the victims and expectations on those left behind left me with no option other than to put on a façade and indulge in the fund raising and nauseating rounds of speeches and luncheons.
With regard to our children, who you perceive as being a source of great comfort to me, they feel nothing but resentment towards me for still being alive when their father has been taken from them. He was “Fun Man”, whilst I have always been the strict disciplinarian, therefore they feel that all the joy has been sucked out of their lives and they are left with the far inferior option.
And as for money - $2.2m, albeit a vast sum, is not enough to compensate for the suffering I have had to and will continue to endure in this miserable existence. You may be going through a rough time at the moment but, rest assured, it will not last for long. You have numerous friends who will rally around. You might not think you will ever want to find love again but at least you will get offers, unlike me.

Rachel, I envy you as you have had one of the things that few of us are lucky enough to ever find in a lifetime – true love. I know it has been cut short in the most cruel and untimely manner but you have, at least, had it. Cherish what you had, nurture it and don’t mourn or feel regret as you are truly one of the blessed. A diamond doesn’t lose its shine and you had a true diamond.


Sarah

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

From BBC Radio 4 - BBC National Short Story Award 2013:
Lionel Shriver's story takes the form of a letter in which long held resentments are finally expressed, ten years after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.

Read by Nancy Crane
Produced by Gemma Jenkins.