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Rise of the Spider Goddess
In 2006, DAW Books published Jim C. Hines’ debut novel Goblin Quest. But before Jig the goblin, before fairy tale princesses and magic librarians and spunky fire-spiders, there was Nakor the Purple, an elf who wanted nothing more than to stand around watching lovingly overdescribed sunrises with his pet owl Flame, who might actually be a falcon, depending on which chapter you’re reading.
This is Nakor’s story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the relatively shallow worldbuilding, it’s not like there’s much to destroy...)
With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn’t very pretty.
This is Nakor’s story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the relatively shallow worldbuilding, it’s not like there’s much to destroy...)
With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn’t very pretty.
228 pages, Paperback
First published November 20, 2014
8 people are currently reading
633 people want to read
About the author
Jim C. Hines
96 books2,396 followersJim C. Hines began his writing career with a trilogy about the irrepressible Jig the goblin, which actor and author Wil Wheaton described as "too f***ing cool for words." He went on to deconstruct fairy tales in his four-book Princess series, made all the world's literature a grimoire in the Magic ex Libris series, and explored the heroic side of spacecraft sanitation in his Janitors of the Post Apocalypse trilogy. His short fiction has appeared in more than fifty magazines and anthologies. Jim has been outspoken about topics like sexism and harassment, and was the editor of the Invisible series—three collections of personal essays about representation in sf/f. He received the Hugo Award for Best Fan Writer in 2012. Jim currently lives in mid-Michigan.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
February 15, 2015
How exactly do you rate a book when the central theme of the work is that the story itself is bad?
This book has an interesting concept. Jim has dusted off his first attempt at a novel that he wrote back in college, and is making it available to his readers, warts and all. What's more, he's annotated it, snarking about the things he screwed up, and generally MST3King the entire manuscript.
It's an interesting book. And should be of real interest to aspiring writers to see what an author's first attempt at a novel can look like. We all start somewhere, but it's rare to get a glimpse of a professionals unpublished stuff. Jim's comments are a real bonus here, as he points out what he now, as a pro author, wishes he'd known back then. What he wishes he'd done differently.
When I picked this up, I was worried that the book would be too excruciatingly bad for me to enjoy it. But that wasn't the case. It's a nice, quick read, much leavened by Jim's commentary all the way through.
Ultimately, I give this book full points for being exactly what it's supposed to be. It gives a glimpse of Jim's juvenilia, some good humor, and some insight into writing.
That by itself would rate it an easy four stars in opinion, but I'm bumping it up to ten for a truly unique concept. Plus bonus points to Jim for being brave enough to show off some of his early writing. He's a better man than I...
So is this book for everyone? No. Probably not. But if you're a hardcore fantasy fan, an aspiring writer, or a fan of Jim's other work, this one is probably a must-read...
This book has an interesting concept. Jim has dusted off his first attempt at a novel that he wrote back in college, and is making it available to his readers, warts and all. What's more, he's annotated it, snarking about the things he screwed up, and generally MST3King the entire manuscript.
It's an interesting book. And should be of real interest to aspiring writers to see what an author's first attempt at a novel can look like. We all start somewhere, but it's rare to get a glimpse of a professionals unpublished stuff. Jim's comments are a real bonus here, as he points out what he now, as a pro author, wishes he'd known back then. What he wishes he'd done differently.
When I picked this up, I was worried that the book would be too excruciatingly bad for me to enjoy it. But that wasn't the case. It's a nice, quick read, much leavened by Jim's commentary all the way through.
Ultimately, I give this book full points for being exactly what it's supposed to be. It gives a glimpse of Jim's juvenilia, some good humor, and some insight into writing.
That by itself would rate it an easy four stars in opinion, but I'm bumping it up to ten for a truly unique concept. Plus bonus points to Jim for being brave enough to show off some of his early writing. He's a better man than I...
So is this book for everyone? No. Probably not. But if you're a hardcore fantasy fan, an aspiring writer, or a fan of Jim's other work, this one is probably a must-read...
November 2, 2016
The book itself is not four stars. Quite honesty, Hines if that book had ever been published in the original form, it would have been the last thing of your I read.
That said - what this is is Hines first novel, written while he was in college, and basically a novelization of a gaming session. However, Hines has applied his snark to his own writing, making this a four star read simply for his own comments. Additionally, if you have ever corrected a bad essay then this is what you want to do instead of searching for those polite ways to say - this is stupid.
That said - what this is is Hines first novel, written while he was in college, and basically a novelization of a gaming session. However, Hines has applied his snark to his own writing, making this a four star read simply for his own comments. Additionally, if you have ever corrected a bad essay then this is what you want to do instead of searching for those polite ways to say - this is stupid.
May 20, 2017
Mr Hines promised a bad book. He delivers. His annotations are fun. I found myself annotating his annotations; it was like we were having a conversation. He showed all sorts of ways not to write a book that I hadn't yet thought of. I laughed a lot while reading. I had flashbacks to friends talking about the RPG/role playing games they were playing. Mr. Hines has grown in greatly as a writer since he wrote this book many years ago. You can learn much by reading it. I love his ability to laugh at himself as well as point out his sexist and overused fantasy tropes throughout the book. If you enjoy his books or blog this is a must read.
February 12, 2019
Annotated juvenilia. It was entertaining. In its virtues, it points to where Jim's mature (so to speak) work shines. In its flaws -- as he says, he does get better.
March 20, 2016
Do not read this book if you want to read a compelling, well-constructed story. You will be sorely disappointed. As I posted on Facebook shortly after completing the book...
Do read this book if you would like to laugh out loud. Do read this book if you are an author and are looking for how not to write a book. Not that this is a step-by-step guide on how to write. This an actual first novel. And Hines is putting all the good and the bad (mostly bad in this case) out there for his fans to see. It's painful at times.
It's also refreshing in light of some of the recent authors behaving badly stories that have cropped up. It takes a lot of guts to put an unedited rough draft out there with all its grammatical errors and gaping plot holes. (Is Flame an owl or a falcon?)
So why did I read it? I'm a huge fan of Jim's work. Over the past couple of years, I've followed authors from their first novels and beyond. As a reader, I am in awe watching a author grow. I also needed a good laugh and I knew Jim would deliver. For as awful as Rise of the Spider Goddess is as a novel, the annotations add a sense of humor and insight into the author which makes this a thumbs up.
This review was originally posted on Second Run Reviews.
Do read this book if you would like to laugh out loud. Do read this book if you are an author and are looking for how not to write a book. Not that this is a step-by-step guide on how to write. This an actual first novel. And Hines is putting all the good and the bad (mostly bad in this case) out there for his fans to see. It's painful at times.
Can we all pause a moment to appreciate the artistry of that sentence? "Sitting casually on the floor, a guard sat..." That's freaking art right there! Someone nominate this thing for the Hugo Award already!
It's also refreshing in light of some of the recent authors behaving badly stories that have cropped up. It takes a lot of guts to put an unedited rough draft out there with all its grammatical errors and gaping plot holes. (Is Flame an owl or a falcon?)
So why did I read it? I'm a huge fan of Jim's work. Over the past couple of years, I've followed authors from their first novels and beyond. As a reader, I am in awe watching a author grow. I also needed a good laugh and I knew Jim would deliver. For as awful as Rise of the Spider Goddess is as a novel, the annotations add a sense of humor and insight into the author which makes this a thumbs up.
This review was originally posted on Second Run Reviews.
May 3, 2016
Esse foi o primeiro livro escrito pelo autor, e ele resolveu publicá-lo, após 10 anos, para mostrar que a escrita é menos talento e mais dedicação e aprendizado.
Achei que a obra foi uma oportunidade perdida. As anotações de Hines são muito divertidas, e vez ou outra ele compartilha conosco uma dica de escrita pegando certas passagens. O problema, pra mim, é que ele costuma deixar o livro sem fazer nenhum comentário por váaarias páginas, e isso complica bastante a leitura (é um texto realmente ruim, sob qualquer ótica).
Hines podia ter feito mais comentários e, para tornar a leitura ainda mais interessante, consertar as piores passagens, dizendo o que não funciona e o porquê.
Vale para ver como o autor começou e se divertir com sua autodepreciação.
Achei que a obra foi uma oportunidade perdida. As anotações de Hines são muito divertidas, e vez ou outra ele compartilha conosco uma dica de escrita pegando certas passagens. O problema, pra mim, é que ele costuma deixar o livro sem fazer nenhum comentário por váaarias páginas, e isso complica bastante a leitura (é um texto realmente ruim, sob qualquer ótica).
Hines podia ter feito mais comentários e, para tornar a leitura ainda mais interessante, consertar as piores passagens, dizendo o que não funciona e o porquê.
Vale para ver como o autor começou e se divertir com sua autodepreciação.
December 3, 2014
This was really entertaining. There were a couple times when my kindle reading app got a little weird and tried skipping a few lines when I turned the page. The commentary was fun to read without being too intrusive. To nitpick just a little, the annotated count of eyebrow raises went 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc.
I think this book would be not only entertaining but also useful to beginning or aspiring authors. A great example of what not to do, or perhaps what to do to get out of your system but what not to try to actually publish.
I think this book would be not only entertaining but also useful to beginning or aspiring authors. A great example of what not to do, or perhaps what to do to get out of your system but what not to try to actually publish.
January 24, 2015
Despite Jim's insistence, this is hardly the worst conglomerate of fantasy tropes I've ever read. Still, his current-self's MST3K-style mockery of his older writing is fun & useful. For any fantasy RPG fans who think you just need dungeon stories written out, read this. It will make you raise your eyebrow at many things you aren't aware of in writing without experience. Well done, Jim.
April 7, 2015
I know this book is supposed to be bad, but the hook was the author trashing his own work. In general a lot of the annotations were witty and amusing, but they simply did not make up for the generic emo-fantasy shlock that made up the actual story. Sometimes Hines would let the original manuscript speak for itself for three or four pages at a time, which was just painful.
July 18, 2015
Meh. The original work was awful sure, but the annotations were neither funny enough nor instructive enough to justify enduring the terrible story. I came expecting so bad it's good but all I got was so bad it's meh. Disappointing.
April 23, 2022
3.5 stars. That being said, if this book was not an annotation the story in and of itself would be pushing a 2 (mostly because bias. I like this author's stories).
The comments of the annotation pushed it up because it kept entertained and taught me some things. Also, the author in the beginning told me the story was going to be bad. (He was right, but you can see the promise of better and at places it doesn't give you whiplash with scene changes it can be funny).
This book in its unedited glory really drove in the "editors are worth thier weight in gold" (the author agrees). And as someone who is trying to write a book. This book as a tool to me is invaluable. Not only because it shows an established author (who does write much better books, please don't let this be your intro in his writing) that isn't afraid to criticize and critique himself with humor and realism. I've reread some of my HS stuff and & glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks younger self WTF?
The writing style does take a bit to get used to and the story in and of itself is fairly simple. The characters are good if a bit cliche. (Omg the angst). And I'm all about snarky annotation. It wouldn't have worked without that. It's an easy read that I probably could have read in a day but took longer cause I needed to. I used it as a learning experience not an every day read.
There are a lot of typos and continuity errors because it is very unedited & he kept it that way on purpose he even warns you, so if you just can't get past that, this book might drive you batty, annotations or not.
The comments of the annotation pushed it up because it kept entertained and taught me some things. Also, the author in the beginning told me the story was going to be bad. (He was right, but you can see the promise of better and at places it doesn't give you whiplash with scene changes it can be funny).
This book in its unedited glory really drove in the "editors are worth thier weight in gold" (the author agrees). And as someone who is trying to write a book. This book as a tool to me is invaluable. Not only because it shows an established author (who does write much better books, please don't let this be your intro in his writing) that isn't afraid to criticize and critique himself with humor and realism. I've reread some of my HS stuff and & glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks younger self WTF?
The writing style does take a bit to get used to and the story in and of itself is fairly simple. The characters are good if a bit cliche. (Omg the angst). And I'm all about snarky annotation. It wouldn't have worked without that. It's an easy read that I probably could have read in a day but took longer cause I needed to. I used it as a learning experience not an every day read.
There are a lot of typos and continuity errors because it is very unedited & he kept it that way on purpose he even warns you, so if you just can't get past that, this book might drive you batty, annotations or not.
February 12, 2017
Well, the author states it's the first book he wrote & that it was bad. It wasn't bad; I read it because it is supposedly the first book in a series & I wanted to try the series. I read one of his short stories in "Shadowed Soul" & enjoyed it, so thought I would try a book. I'll give the next book "Goblin Quest" a chance...
I have to say that I think the little blurbs he put into the book (to show us that he knew that he could've done better) made the book worse (in my opinion).
I have to say that I think the little blurbs he put into the book (to show us that he knew that he could've done better) made the book worse (in my opinion).
December 28, 2022
Kind of hard to rate a book when the entire hook is that it's bad! I found the author's notes instructional sometimes and funny at other times. Personally, I would have preferred a balance that leaned harder on the instructional/craft talk, but that's probably a flaw in my own assumptions, since the blurb didn't promise a craft book. Still, I laughed a good amount and would recommend this to someone who's more in it for the premise of "MST3K-ing your own first fantasy manuscript."
March 12, 2023
So glad Jim got better
This was painful. Loved Jim’s comments, but the Grammar Nazi in me grimaced many times in the story. So very very happy he kept trying. This was as awful as some of the stuff I wrote in high school. Please read his newer work, though. He did get much better!
This was painful. Loved Jim’s comments, but the Grammar Nazi in me grimaced many times in the story. So very very happy he kept trying. This was as awful as some of the stuff I wrote in high school. Please read his newer work, though. He did get much better!
January 3, 2018
Ich finde es klasse zu lesen, wenn ein Autor sein eigenes Buch auseinander nimmt. Sehr gute Unterhaltung
April 28, 2023
Jim-not the worst thing I have read-believe me. It made me laugh in more than a few places.
January 17, 2015
This book was reviewed on Dark Matter Zine; for more reviews, interviews and articles, go to Dark Matter Zine. Alternatively, this link is just to Dark Matter Zine's reviews.
A comparative essay by Nalini Haynes
Jim C Hines published a trunk novel he wrote in college, Rise of the Spider Goddess, with some edits pointing out common errors for aspiring writers. This was gutsy, especially coming from a professionally published author. Rise of the Spider Goddess is, in turns, cringe-worthy, cheesy and hilarious; sometimes it's the text, sometimes it's Jim's editorial comments snarking at his younger self.
In contrast, I received feedback from a literature-oriented teacher last semester. Prior to this assignment she gave feedback including needing more interiority; she said she wanted more of Maria's reactions to Saul; the only paragraph I wrote all semester that she actually half-liked (she wanted the other half deleted or changed) was a metaphor for Maria's interiority so I was sure to include a metaphor for her conflict below. This is the opening scene of a book that I submitted as part of one assignment last semester for the subject 'Building a Strong Narrative' and the feedback I received:
Which goes to show that aspiring writers need to learn, need to be open to feedback and need to find a suitable editor or teacher to work with them.
Jim C Hines's book Rise of the Spider Goddess is a good teaching tool.
Jim says:
Within hours of the above post, David Freer posted about writing too. I particularly like these bits:
Chuck Wendig weighed in with a post about what to buy the writer in your life for Christmas.
I agree with the coffee stuff. I obviously don't have enough coffee in my life because I'm not producing enough words.
I also agree with the solo writing space that does not include the interwebs or other people. Because SPACE. And choosing when to rejoin the human race.
A comparative essay by Nalini Haynes
Jim C Hines published a trunk novel he wrote in college, Rise of the Spider Goddess, with some edits pointing out common errors for aspiring writers. This was gutsy, especially coming from a professionally published author. Rise of the Spider Goddess is, in turns, cringe-worthy, cheesy and hilarious; sometimes it's the text, sometimes it's Jim's editorial comments snarking at his younger self.
In contrast, I received feedback from a literature-oriented teacher last semester. Prior to this assignment she gave feedback including needing more interiority; she said she wanted more of Maria's reactions to Saul; the only paragraph I wrote all semester that she actually half-liked (she wanted the other half deleted or changed) was a metaphor for Maria's interiority so I was sure to include a metaphor for her conflict below. This is the opening scene of a book that I submitted as part of one assignment last semester for the subject 'Building a Strong Narrative' and the feedback I received:
Which goes to show that aspiring writers need to learn, need to be open to feedback and need to find a suitable editor or teacher to work with them.
Jim C Hines's book Rise of the Spider Goddess is a good teaching tool.
Jim says:
In 2006, DAW Books published Jim C. Hines’ debut novel Goblin Quest. But before Jig the goblin, before fairy tale princesses and magic librarians and spunky fire-spiders, there was Nakor the Purple, an elf who wanted nothing more than to stand around watching lovingly overdescribed sunrises with his pet owl Flame, who might actually be a falcon, depending on which chapter you’re reading.
This is Nakor’s story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the relatively shallow worldbuilding, it’s not like there’s much to destroy…)
With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn’t very pretty.
Within hours of the above post, David Freer posted about writing too. I particularly like these bits:
The purpose of your writing is not to display perfect grammar, or lyrical prose, or the perfectly structured novel. It is to communicate with the reader...
... if I was going to give you one bit of advice, it would be reaching those goals is a lot easier once you’ve learned to tell a simple story, simply and clearly, so that most readers get exactly what you’re trying to say...
Chuck Wendig weighed in with a post about what to buy the writer in your life for Christmas.
I agree with the coffee stuff. I obviously don't have enough coffee in my life because I'm not producing enough words.
I also agree with the solo writing space that does not include the interwebs or other people. Because SPACE. And choosing when to rejoin the human race.
September 21, 2015
I really liked this book. Oh, not the super cliched and generic fantasy tale, no that was boring and well...cliched, no I like the pretty amusing "annotations" made by the author, Jim C. Hines. I've read his books before: Libriomancer and Codex Born and I hope to read this one soon, Unbound. Although I did have a few problems with his books, for the most part I enjoyed my experience reading them. They were fun and full of great 3 dimensional characters, which is not to be found in this story. And That's OK! Which is really the best part of reading this book. First drafts and first novels that you write are often terrible, but the best writers push on and improve.
This is actually a pretty hard book to review. The story itself is state and banal. I read a *lot* of fantasy stories and I can say the the worst ones share these traits. However the story itself isn't why I picked up this book. I picked it up because first drafts and sometimes first books are usually not very good, some are even awful. I think this is an important concept to understand and recognize if you are going to try your hand at writing. I'd guess that many people after putting down a book that is maybe not-so-great will exclaim, "I could have done better!", I posit that no, no you wouldn't. I'd say that although some authors are fantastic right out of the gate, many more (perhaps almost all) need to work at it just like any other skill.
Writing is just like any other creative pursuit, the more you practice the better you get. As I said up above that is really the best take away from this book: Nobody is good right out of the gate, but if you work at it you can improve greatly.
The sarcastic annotations are fun too!
This is actually a pretty hard book to review. The story itself is state and banal. I read a *lot* of fantasy stories and I can say the the worst ones share these traits. However the story itself isn't why I picked up this book. I picked it up because first drafts and sometimes first books are usually not very good, some are even awful. I think this is an important concept to understand and recognize if you are going to try your hand at writing. I'd guess that many people after putting down a book that is maybe not-so-great will exclaim, "I could have done better!", I posit that no, no you wouldn't. I'd say that although some authors are fantastic right out of the gate, many more (perhaps almost all) need to work at it just like any other skill.
Writing is just like any other creative pursuit, the more you practice the better you get. As I said up above that is really the best take away from this book: Nobody is good right out of the gate, but if you work at it you can improve greatly.
The sarcastic annotations are fun too!
December 30, 2014
Rise of the Spider Goddess is a painful read - but the fun kind of painful. It's the kind of painful that makes you raise your eyebrow and think, "Did I really just read that???"
Better yet, it's a story based on a D&D character.
Thankfully, the story's not meant to be a perfect, polished masterpiece. The story is more of a warning of what not to do when writing a book, and the author is in on the joke. I admire what it took to put this out there, unedited, for the public to view.
The commentary sections are what makes this a worthy read. The snark...oh lord, the snark.
The synopsis promises MST3k style commentary, and it certainly delivers on that promise.
The book is filled with such gems as:
and
and
My only real complaint is that I wish there were more commentary sections. As the book wound on, the author comments slowed down, and got further and further apart. It may be a selfish complaint, but I stand by it. More commentary would have made this an absolutely AMAZING read.
Better yet, it's a story based on a D&D character.
Thankfully, the story's not meant to be a perfect, polished masterpiece. The story is more of a warning of what not to do when writing a book, and the author is in on the joke. I admire what it took to put this out there, unedited, for the public to view.
The commentary sections are what makes this a worthy read. The snark...oh lord, the snark.
The synopsis promises MST3k style commentary, and it certainly delivers on that promise.
The book is filled with such gems as:
She continued to stare blankly into space. Nakor took a deep breath. Drawing back his hand, he slapped her across the face with all of his strength.
- Nakor is not as knowledgeable about first aid as he likes to pretend.
and
Galadrion knelt and lifted Jaimus's bulky body from the ground. Without saying anything, wordlessly, she walked away, vanishing among the trees.
- "Without saying anything, wordlessly..." Let's all take a moment to appreciate that fine wordcraft, shall we?
and
Galadrion approached them both silently, looking drained. Nakor sighed, knowing that Jaimus was now a bloodless corpse, his decapitated body lying somewhere in the woods.
- She looks drained? Hey, you should see the other guy! Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week.
My only real complaint is that I wish there were more commentary sections. As the book wound on, the author comments slowed down, and got further and further apart. It may be a selfish complaint, but I stand by it. More commentary would have made this an absolutely AMAZING read.
April 20, 2016
This is not a well written book. There's quite a few spelling errors, animals changing species and, well, the writing's quite awful.
So why don't I just rant about how horrible and what a total waste of money and time it is and just file it under "crap" and just forget about it?
Well, for a start the author's very well aware of it's shortcomings already and gives several comments about all the mistakes his younger self makes. Secondly it's based on a D&D character and his adventures. Now I'm an old time role-player my self so this story is pretty darn nostalgic and reads a bit like something I'd have written if I ever took the time (though it would probably be a lot worse than Rise of the spider goddess...)
The story is like what you'd turn in to your teacher in school and get back with lots and lots of red marked errors and comments (if your teacher had a good sense of humour that is).
It feels like the sole purpose of making this piece of fiction available to buy is to tell us that the author got better than this.
...and believe me, he did!
Read it and enjoy it. I sure did!
So why don't I just rant about how horrible and what a total waste of money and time it is and just file it under "crap" and just forget about it?
Well, for a start the author's very well aware of it's shortcomings already and gives several comments about all the mistakes his younger self makes. Secondly it's based on a D&D character and his adventures. Now I'm an old time role-player my self so this story is pretty darn nostalgic and reads a bit like something I'd have written if I ever took the time (though it would probably be a lot worse than Rise of the spider goddess...)
The story is like what you'd turn in to your teacher in school and get back with lots and lots of red marked errors and comments (if your teacher had a good sense of humour that is).
It feels like the sole purpose of making this piece of fiction available to buy is to tell us that the author got better than this.
...and believe me, he did!
Read it and enjoy it. I sure did!
December 4, 2014
MST 3000 meets “Eye of Argon”---but better! Rise of the Spider Goddess by Jim C. Hines is hilarious; both intentionally and unintentionally. Back in 1995, young Jim Hines wrote a D&D inspired fantasy complete with cardboard characters and every cliché you could hope for. Minor characters pop in and out with no reason, evil characters are E*V*I*L, and our hero(?) has less sense than the rocks along the road. Happily for the universe, this epic remained unseen and unloved except by its creator. Until now.
Jim Hines, brave author that he is, has released The Prosekillers Chronicle:Rise of the Spider Goddess(An Annotated Novel). His original typoed, grammatically challenged words appear alongside frequent snarky comments by the more mature, much better writer that he is today. If you’re looking for something to make you laugh until you scare the cats, read this. It will make you feel oh so much better about that novel of yours hidden away in a drawer. Then read a recent novel by Mr. Hines. It will inspire you to think, “If he could go from that to this, maybe I could, too.” It’s certainly enough to make me want to go crack out that unfinished fantasy novel of my own.
Jim Hines, brave author that he is, has released The Prosekillers Chronicle:Rise of the Spider Goddess(An Annotated Novel). His original typoed, grammatically challenged words appear alongside frequent snarky comments by the more mature, much better writer that he is today. If you’re looking for something to make you laugh until you scare the cats, read this. It will make you feel oh so much better about that novel of yours hidden away in a drawer. Then read a recent novel by Mr. Hines. It will inspire you to think, “If he could go from that to this, maybe I could, too.” It’s certainly enough to make me want to go crack out that unfinished fantasy novel of my own.
Read
January 12, 2015(Description nicked from B&N.com.)
“In 2006, DAW Books published Jim C. Hines’ debut novel Goblin Quest. But before Jig the goblin, before fairy tale princesses and magic librarians and spunky fire-spiders, there was Nakor the Purple, an elf who wanted nothing more than to stand around watching lovingly overdescribed sunrises with his pet owl Flame, who might actually be a falcon, depending on which chapter you’re reading.
This is Nakor’s story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the relatively shallow worldbuilding, it’s not like there’s much to destroy…)
With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn’t very pretty.”
Continue reading...
“In 2006, DAW Books published Jim C. Hines’ debut novel Goblin Quest. But before Jig the goblin, before fairy tale princesses and magic librarians and spunky fire-spiders, there was Nakor the Purple, an elf who wanted nothing more than to stand around watching lovingly overdescribed sunrises with his pet owl Flame, who might actually be a falcon, depending on which chapter you’re reading.
This is Nakor’s story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the relatively shallow worldbuilding, it’s not like there’s much to destroy…)
With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn’t very pretty.”
Continue reading...
June 29, 2016
2 stars for the 1995 story - which kept putting me to sleep. Jim was right it wasn't even badly enough written to keep me entertained. The other 2 stars are for his 2014 annotations. They rather fortunately broke up the original story and frequently had me giggling aloud.
e.g. "Dear 1995 Jim, I'm shipping you a year's supply of contractions. Please use them. Sincerely, 2014 Jim"
This is however hugely educational for any emerging writer. Jim consistently points out his errors, not just typos - every one is guilty of those on ocassion - but basic sentence structure, dialogue rules, and stylistic things such as whether to include 'was' in the sentence or whether it made logical sense to use the passive voice when you were going for action impact. Sometimes his comments were so subtle, I had to go back and re-read the previous passage to understand what he was pointing out. Other times, even he could not be snarky enough about how ludicrous the previous passage was.
Well worth reading.
e.g. "Dear 1995 Jim, I'm shipping you a year's supply of contractions. Please use them. Sincerely, 2014 Jim"
This is however hugely educational for any emerging writer. Jim consistently points out his errors, not just typos - every one is guilty of those on ocassion - but basic sentence structure, dialogue rules, and stylistic things such as whether to include 'was' in the sentence or whether it made logical sense to use the passive voice when you were going for action impact. Sometimes his comments were so subtle, I had to go back and re-read the previous passage to understand what he was pointing out. Other times, even he could not be snarky enough about how ludicrous the previous passage was.
Well worth reading.
February 17, 2015
This is actually fairly hard to rate.
The novel itself was Hines' very first novel, and there's a reason it never got published: it's trite, unoriginal, and tremendously poorly written. What is absolutely fantastic, though, is that 20 years later, Hines has gone back and provided commentary on it -- and nothing could be funnier. He is his own harshest critic, but with a sense of humor that had me reading lines to my kids and busting up out loud. Occasionally I had to put it down for the evening, because the novel itself was getting a little painful, but the next day I couldn't wait to get back to it to find out what he was going to say and do next.
I also happen to be reading his first PUBLISHED novel immediately following this one, also a D&D questing kind of thing, and it's 10,000x better. I'm so glad that he kept writing and someone edited him better!
The novel itself was Hines' very first novel, and there's a reason it never got published: it's trite, unoriginal, and tremendously poorly written. What is absolutely fantastic, though, is that 20 years later, Hines has gone back and provided commentary on it -- and nothing could be funnier. He is his own harshest critic, but with a sense of humor that had me reading lines to my kids and busting up out loud. Occasionally I had to put it down for the evening, because the novel itself was getting a little painful, but the next day I couldn't wait to get back to it to find out what he was going to say and do next.
I also happen to be reading his first PUBLISHED novel immediately following this one, also a D&D questing kind of thing, and it's 10,000x better. I'm so glad that he kept writing and someone edited him better!
March 28, 2015
This is the first Jim Hines book I have ever read. I'm laughing so hard I cramped up and had to take a breather. The author takes us through his first attempt at writing a novel while providing commentary on his work throughout, I'm a few chapters in, and I had the thought, " Please God let this novel be the starting point for more brave authors to follow." Fabulously funny, snidely, snarkful stuff. I intend to read his real work soon, (that is to say the novels that propelled him so far forward he could safely look back and share a laugh with us at his own expense) but this book is right now my must read. Onward to more laughter, leering and learning the art of what not to do as told by Jim Hines.
February 5, 2016
This is brilliant. The actual book is funny at times, but mostly it is what it is: a college student first attempt to a novel. Jim's commentary instead is full of snarky-coated, sound advice every aspiring writer should heed.
This is what I've learned from this book, for my own writings (list not complete):
- stop raising those damn eyebrows
- check your plot consistencies, both short and long term
- try not to fall into those ripe fantasy clichés
- don't break dialogue into two paragraphs
- the word "said" is not evil
- world-building shouldn't be limited to what is immediately functional to the main characters
- don't overuse flashbacks
- Down with the adverbs!
So, this was money well spent. I know I'll be reading more Jim C. Hines in the future.
This is what I've learned from this book, for my own writings (list not complete):
- stop raising those damn eyebrows
- check your plot consistencies, both short and long term
- try not to fall into those ripe fantasy clichés
- don't break dialogue into two paragraphs
- the word "said" is not evil
- world-building shouldn't be limited to what is immediately functional to the main characters
- don't overuse flashbacks
- Down with the adverbs!
So, this was money well spent. I know I'll be reading more Jim C. Hines in the future.
July 17, 2015
Once upon a time, all our favorite writers sucked. At least, that's what I learned from this book. It's amazing - and heartening - how alike really awful novels sound. Jim's asides are mostly amusing (especially spotlighting the fact that everyone in the novel can, and does, raise an eyebrow), but I found more instruction from looking at the poorly constructed sentences and the plot holes that swallowed up the scenery.
If you're looking for something to amuse you for an afternoon, this is a good choice. If nothing else, it will raise your appreciation of where his prose went from here. (Hint: the only way to go was up.)
If you're looking for something to amuse you for an afternoon, this is a good choice. If nothing else, it will raise your appreciation of where his prose went from here. (Hint: the only way to go was up.)
August 27, 2015
Do I rate this book on the original story? Or on the commentary Hines inserts? The story itself is full of trite fantasy tropes, but no worse (and in places better) than many of the pulp SFF I chewed through in my early teens. The critique Hines makes of it - of his own early writing - makes this a worthwhile read. He checks his ego at the door, and is pretty harsh on the earlyHines. He demonstrates, quite clearly, that most writers can improve by writing more and by learning from their own mistakes. If you enjoy SFF, and are interested in writing, storytelling, world building, or raised eyebrows, give this a read.
February 3, 2015
This is book is just as bad as advertised. The story is stupid and doesn't make sense. The writing is bad. There's pretty much nothing redeeming about it. But that's exactly what Hines tells you in the introduction. He knew it was terrible, so he gives it the MST3K treatment and interjects comments about what he did wrong. This serves to point out to other writers pitfalls they could face, or to just be generally entertaining. I found the commentary to be really funny. I just wish that he had included more snarky comments.
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April 20, 2015I'm not exactly sure how to rate this. The novel itself is... terrible. But that's kind of the point. And the snarky commentary is funny -- sometimes all the way to hilarious. I did still end up skimming a portion of the actual book, which was the very fantasy cliche it was advertised to be. I can't say this book was anything other than what I expected, and it's enjoyable if you like to make fun of things, if you're a writer working to improve your craft, or if you just like to see how far fantasy has come as a genre.
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