— 3.75/5 ★ // arc review
“… history is missing lots of people who waited too long to leave.”
(I’d like to thank Netgalley and the publishers for accepting my request to read this arc in exchange for an honest review ♡)
After just emerging from a reading slump I was hesitant to read this arc because I just wasn’t sure if it was wholly meant for my frame of mind at the time. I was cautious that I wouldn’t be able to keep the motivation and enthusiasm going, but after seeing the publish date and realising that it was so soon, I felt as though I owed Silberstein and the publishers a chance, and I’m very glad that I did.
Firstly, this book is incredibly educational. Not just from the exploration of the emotional and psychological aspects of disabilities and the struggle to overcome barriers and challenges, but to the clear understanding of the health condition itself and just what “recovery” entails in a situation like what Anna is going through. There has been evident research from Silberstein into Quadriplegia and the physiotherapy, medication, care, and treatment that is needed to ensure that the effected individual lives as safe and healthy lifestyle as they can. I’m truly not surprised about the amount of praise there is for his understanding and dedication to accurately represent the life of a person with Quadriplegia. It’s this kind of dedication that I hope becomes more common in books, as I truly don’t believe that there is enough representation, let alone accurate representation, for people with disabilities — especially those who require wheelchair use.
Moreover, I found that Batul’s situation was also handled delicately, as not only was the political system in Syria briefly explored, but also Batul’s Muslim faith, and how her queer identity and understanding of homosexuality was impacted because of her upbringing and culture’s beliefs. I don’t wish to go into too much detail as I don’t want to spoil anything, but seeing the inner conflict between what she believed was “right and wrong” was very sad to read. I couldn’t help but wonder just how trapped she must have felt, not wanting to disappoint her family and clash with her faith’s teachings, while also wanting to explore her connection with Anna and her newfound sexuality.
The bond shared between Anna and Batul felt very genuine and I loved the gradual show of trust and respect they had towards each other. Their slow transition from friendship to something deeper was something that I appreciated also, as it just made sense for the type of people they were. They were one another’s strength and pillars throughout the majority of the novel and I loved and appreciated just how supportive and encouraging they were of each other.
However, it did feel to me as though the ending fell apart a little and that did, unfortunately, impact my experience with the novel as a whole.
First and foremost, the time jump at the end just disconnected me from everything that was happening. I can appreciate and understand a time jump, but it was just too large and important of a skip that it made me feel rather caught off guard and confused. Additionally, the “cure”/ “almost cure” (I’m still a little confused as to Anna’s physical condition after the treatment), felt like it completely took away from the growth and development we see from Anna along her journey. It didn’t really provide anything to the story apart from slipping some futuristic, almost Sci-Fi-esque elements into the story. Essentially, to me personally, it felt bizarre and odd and I didn’t really agree with the direction that it took. I can appreciate these elements, just not together and definitely not all at once — it’s just far too much information in not enough depth and exploration for me.
And lastly, this is more of a personal thing for me I believe, and it doesn’t really effect the story or my view of the story too much, but I definitely felt that Anna’s life was more prevalent within the story. Despite having some great moments that feature Batul, her family, her faith, and her home country, it just didn’t feel as thoroughly explored as I would have liked it to be. I wanted to learn more about the politics in Syria and the effects of it on the people, I wanted to know more about the transition and culture shock from living in Syria and claiming asylum in Germany, and I most definitely wanted to hear about Batul and her life from her own thoughts at the end. I wanted to know if she still thought of Anna, what her thoughts were on the life that she had led, whether her marriage was truly as serene and perfect as it seemed from the outside… I was just left with a vacuity that did, sadly, impact my ultimate satisfaction with the novel.
However, this is not to take away from the brilliant writing nor the clear passion and dedication that Silberstein has for this novel and the topics that are discussed. I didn’t regret reading it at all, and it gifted me with knowledge and insight that I didn’t have prior to reading, which is something that I always appreciate. If there had just been more depth and clarity towards the end then I’m certain this would have been a knockout novel for me!