Okay, superhero time continues….
This is something in the neighborhood of the 12th graphic novel or superhero novel I’ve read in the past couple of months. I’ve also got a few more in a stack of them to get through soon. I’m just about heroed out.
I was thinking just before I started writing this, that in some ways, I think I enjoy book reviews more than I do writing blog posts. I used to just blog all my reviews, but then I slowly realized that I like reading my reviews more than anyone else does. So these have slowly become more and more personal to me over time, partially because I know I’ll come back and read these in the future and then either laugh at my wittiness, or weep at my ineptitude.
Assboogers.
So, what was I doing? Oh yes, reviewing something. Avengers Prime. So, in this story, Asgard (home of Thor) has crashed on earth. I know there is some backstory there, but I don’t know what the hell it is. I’m sure one day those graphic novels will be on sale at Books a Million for $5 too, but it isn’t there now, so I don’t know what it’s all about.
And with Asgard lying in a broken heap somewhere non-descript, Thor, Captain America (minus his Cap outfit – more backstory I don’t understand) and Iron Man all get whooshed away into, um, not Asgard, but something like the suburbs of Asgard, which isn’t on earth, and crashed up.
Once there, Iron Man’s armor stops working, Captain America makes out with an elf woman, and Thor gets his ass kicked by pretty much everyone he meets.
And this brings up one of my biggest issues with Thor, I like the guy, a lot. He had long hair, and he spoke in Jacobian English, and he used to fight the Hulk all the time (never a clear winner then either). He was crude, chivilarous, woefully out of touch, but a genuinely nice god.
Except he kept giving his brother, Loki, a free ride for all the crap he always caused.
Oh yeah, the dropped a line in there somewhere that said Loki was dead now. Then they moved on. Go figure.
I forgot what I was talking about again…. Oh, my problem with Thor. Well, it’s been a problem since the beginning of comics, I think. It’s that you got this total badass that can wipe the floor with pretty much anyone who feels like starting something. So how do you compensate for that when he’s on a team with Captain America and Iron Man?
I mean, some bozo attacks the avengers mansion, a guy with vague or unspecified powers, and in order to prove he’s threat, he has to take out the toughest guy on the team.
Same thing that happened to Worf all the time on Star Trek. Thor gets his ass kicked. Now everyone knows this is a big threat. The problem with that, of course, is that it leads to Thor getting thumped over and over again by guys that aren’t that tough.
How does that happen? Well, either said bad guy has got one of the twenty gazillion artifacts that grant near infinite power (that’s what happened in this storyline), or our resident badass just didn’t realize how tough the bad guy was, and got their ass kicked because they ‘weren’t ready.’
Sometimes, they just weaken the character. Superman has been weakened a few times. Thor has too, I think, or everyone else in the Marvel Universe got tougher.
I read comics for a brief time about 7 or 8 years ago, Thor had just been rebooted after he’d been killed a few years prior. The writer of the mag said he needed to power him up at the time, so he had him inherit the Odinforce (the super-cosmic might that made Thor’s father more of a Cosmic entity, like Galactus), and less like a typical hero.
Again, probably made him too strong, so they broke his hammer and did some magic whammy that made all that superforce he got from his dad get taken away.
All that means this… this whole storyline feels like it was of the mold of someone who isn’t that mighty, becoming very mighty, and whipping Thor, then Iron Man and Cap have to put aside their differences (more references to storylines I’m only vaguely familiar with, in this case, the Marvel Universe’s Civil War, where Cap and a bunch of heroes went to war with Iron Man and a bunch more of heroes) in order to win.
So, a bunch of warriors just show up when Thor makes a speech, then they don’t even have to do anything because the bad guy shows up to fight them. Then, Thor wins! I think someone else that was going to kill him earlier changed their mind, and then helped him. Never explained, but whatever, I only get about 60% of any comic storyline anyway, because the other 40% is references to backstories I don’t know anything about.
In the end. Thor gets the magic artifact that gives him the power over all reality, and he chooses to stick it in his pocket and not even fix Asgard (remember, it crashed into the earth). He said if he fixed it, somehow he wouldn’t be a good guy, or something. It really made no sense.
Still, I loved it, because the art was pretty good.
Really, that’s all I need.