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You Are Now Old Enough to Hear This
There’s always more to the story.
In the latest middle grade speculative novel from Spontaneous author Aaron Starmer, Roman follows the twisted threads of bizarre family legends and magical secrets to write his own chapter in his peculiar family narrative.
The Toe Beast looms large in the Barnes family lore—a tale concocted by twelve-year-old Roman’s grandpa to explain his missing toe. But Roman has never actually heard the full story, and after his grandpa dies suddenly, it seems like he never will.
That is, until Roman is tasked with clearing out his grandpa’s house, and stumbles upon some strange things. An old mason jar full of formaldehyde, a mysterious handwritten book about a girl and a pack of dogs, a rusty metal bucket with peculiar abilities. And they all tie back to extraordinary secrets from the distant past.
By unraveling even more unbelievable stories that have been hidden from him, Roman is forced to rethink how he fits into his family’s history. Now it’s up to him to see his own story through to the end. Because the Toe Beast was only the beginning . . .
In the latest middle grade speculative novel from Spontaneous author Aaron Starmer, Roman follows the twisted threads of bizarre family legends and magical secrets to write his own chapter in his peculiar family narrative.
The Toe Beast looms large in the Barnes family lore—a tale concocted by twelve-year-old Roman’s grandpa to explain his missing toe. But Roman has never actually heard the full story, and after his grandpa dies suddenly, it seems like he never will.
That is, until Roman is tasked with clearing out his grandpa’s house, and stumbles upon some strange things. An old mason jar full of formaldehyde, a mysterious handwritten book about a girl and a pack of dogs, a rusty metal bucket with peculiar abilities. And they all tie back to extraordinary secrets from the distant past.
By unraveling even more unbelievable stories that have been hidden from him, Roman is forced to rethink how he fits into his family’s history. Now it’s up to him to see his own story through to the end. Because the Toe Beast was only the beginning . . .
288 pages, Hardcover
Published March 24, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
April 18, 2026
This is so weird and trippy and mind-boggling and awesome! I feel like I couldn’t even begin to explain it without talking for at least an hour, so you might as well just read it for yourself.
Read
April 26, 2026Every family has secrets; Roman’s might be supernatural.
🦶
After his grandpa’s sudden death, Roman is left with more questions than answers, especially about the legendary “Toe Beast” story tied to his grandpa’s missing toe. While cleaning out the house, he uncovers strange objects and a mysterious story that reveal long-buried family secrets. As Roman pieces together the truth, he begins to understand his place in a much bigger, and stranger, family history.
👹
Creepy, weird, and definitely leaning into that middle grade speculative fiction vibe. It was a bit too strange for me personally, but I can absolutely see middle schoolers eating this up. It’s the kind of eerie, quirky story that will hook readers who like their books a little offbeat and mysterious. Fans of Stranger Things and Patrick Ness’s The Nest will enjoy this title too.
CW: death, grief, animal death, animal cruelty
🦶
After his grandpa’s sudden death, Roman is left with more questions than answers, especially about the legendary “Toe Beast” story tied to his grandpa’s missing toe. While cleaning out the house, he uncovers strange objects and a mysterious story that reveal long-buried family secrets. As Roman pieces together the truth, he begins to understand his place in a much bigger, and stranger, family history.
👹
Creepy, weird, and definitely leaning into that middle grade speculative fiction vibe. It was a bit too strange for me personally, but I can absolutely see middle schoolers eating this up. It’s the kind of eerie, quirky story that will hook readers who like their books a little offbeat and mysterious. Fans of Stranger Things and Patrick Ness’s The Nest will enjoy this title too.
CW: death, grief, animal death, animal cruelty
April 1, 2026
Full disclosure: I adore weird books. Every now and then I want a book to twist, flip, throw me into a tizzy.
YOU ARE NOW OLD ENOUGH TO HEAR THIS checks all the boxes. Targeted for middle grade readers, this fast-paced novel is about Roman and his extended family history.
Grandpa Henry finally tells Roman the tale of the Toe Beast, (you’re not ready) but is it really true? It sends Roman on a quest to understand where he came from.
I kept imagining how fun it would be to read this aloud to 6th and 7th graders and how the suspense would drive them mad. The author is so adept at understanding the middle grade reader and how it feels to be no longer a child, yet not quite an adult.
I honestly couldn’t do anything until I finished this book, and that’s just the best, isn’t it?
If you loved THE NEST by Kenneth Oppel or the show Stranger Things, you’ll love this book.
YOU ARE NOW OLD ENOUGH TO HEAR THIS checks all the boxes. Targeted for middle grade readers, this fast-paced novel is about Roman and his extended family history.
Grandpa Henry finally tells Roman the tale of the Toe Beast, (you’re not ready) but is it really true? It sends Roman on a quest to understand where he came from.
I kept imagining how fun it would be to read this aloud to 6th and 7th graders and how the suspense would drive them mad. The author is so adept at understanding the middle grade reader and how it feels to be no longer a child, yet not quite an adult.
I honestly couldn’t do anything until I finished this book, and that’s just the best, isn’t it?
If you loved THE NEST by Kenneth Oppel or the show Stranger Things, you’ll love this book.
May 4, 2026
Roman is the youngest grandchild in his family, which means that he never got to know his grandma. It also means he has the least to do, and so is tasked with cleaning out his grandpa's house after his death. Roman finds an odd box with an odd jar and an odd story in the attic which takes him on a twisted and unexpected journey through the history of his family.
Very, very weird. But it was a page turner and I did enjoy it.
Very, very weird. But it was a page turner and I did enjoy it.
May 17, 2026
This was like if David Lynch wrote a children’s book
March 31, 2026
What a wild swirling ride of clones, magic 8 balls, wishes, dogs, time travel, and family trees. I’ll be reading this to my almost 10 year old soon, hope she loves it as much as I do!
Read
March 31, 2026This was without a doubt the most unusual book I have read. A true mystery type format that makes it hard to put down and you just have to keep turning the page to see what happens next.
It starts with a family that has some very unusual stories to tell. One- the Toe Beast- is definitely the most unique story I have read. To think a toe might grow- feed- and turn into a clone of the person it was cut off of- ( sound a bit weird?) To a time traveling bucket- to a girl who can grant wishes- to dogs that can speak- To saving someone who is so sick they aren't going to make it?
This is truly a remarkable feat of writing- To keep all the time lines straight- to keep the story going through the cousins and continued family- and to think- there might be more to tell since the boys went back to talk to their grandma. Hoping there is another book to follow.
It starts with a family that has some very unusual stories to tell. One- the Toe Beast- is definitely the most unique story I have read. To think a toe might grow- feed- and turn into a clone of the person it was cut off of- ( sound a bit weird?) To a time traveling bucket- to a girl who can grant wishes- to dogs that can speak- To saving someone who is so sick they aren't going to make it?
This is truly a remarkable feat of writing- To keep all the time lines straight- to keep the story going through the cousins and continued family- and to think- there might be more to tell since the boys went back to talk to their grandma. Hoping there is another book to follow.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Safety is not usually considered a bad thing. But safety, particularly as it pertains to children’s books, is a dangerous thing. I’m eyeing the children’s publishing industry at a squint right now. It doesn’t take much looking to see that in the last year or two we’ve seen a distinct downturn in publishers' willingness to put out books by BIPOC creators, as well as queer titles and books by people from a wider religious spectrum. Then there’s the fact that long hallowed publishing imprints that are practically institutions (specifically Dial and Roaring Brook) have been summarily disappeared without so much as a by-your-leave. Publishers, most particularly BIG publishers with a lot of money, want cash cows. They want easy picks. Books that are guaranteed to do well on the market. And when that happens you see them pulling away from the titles that are actually interesting. The ones that show a wide variety of perspectives and opinions. You also see an avoidance of anything that might be perceived as “too weird.” International imports take a particular blow when that happens. So too do books of homegrown weirdness. But sometimes, even when things look their dullest, there is hope. Hope in the form of Aaron Starmer. He’s the type of children’s author that writes books that wiggle and undulate their way into the crevices and folds of a child’s trusting brain. The Riverman will probably haunt whole generations of children for decades to come. And The Riverman was good, no question, but it now appears that that series was just the warm-up. You Are Now Old Enough to Hear This leans so hard into its own internal logic that it manages to turn its weirdnesses into strengths. Let me put it this way. If you want your child to read books that they’ll forget in a month’s time, hand them pablum. If you want them to think, rethink, and return to a book for the rest of their life? This is what you give.
When you’re the youngest in both your immediate family and out of all your five cousins (not to mention your brother) you hear things. Things you might not want to hear. Roman may be twelve, but for a lot of his life, whenever his grandfather would start to tell the story about “The Toe Beast,” Roman would leave the room. He doesn't know what a Toe Beast is, and he doesn't want to know. And when his grandpa dies under somewhat mysterious circumstances, it’s Roman’s job to tidy up and organize the old man’s house over the summer. Only what starts as a fairly routine job keeps turning up mystery after mystery. Why did his grandfather tell him to never open the locked shed in the backyard? What’s with the jar full of formaldehyde and nothing else? Why was there a strange story in the attic about a girl and some dogs? And that’s all before the rusty bucket appears. The one that seems to seriously freak out his mother. As the mysteries start to link and connect, Roman begins to understand that sometimes your family doesn’t tell you everything because you aren’t old enough. And sometimes your family doesn’t tell you everything because it’s up to you to link their secrets yourself.
There is a line near the beginning of the book which, in its way, explains what Starmer is doing here far better than I ever could. He writes, “For quite some time, Roman had been aware that his mom and dad didn’t know everything, but it was only recently that he had begun to realize that many complicated adult ideas were actually accessible to a boy his age.” Eh voila. The point of it all. What’s curious is that most of that idea is told via metaphor and creepy stories in this book, sure. But there’s also a lot of stark realism. One of those “complicated adult ideas” concerns an incident that happened to his mother when he was young. At the start of the book we learn that she cut herself rather severely and had to be taken to the hospital. It’s only slowly revealed, and never too overtly, that what happened was a lot sadder and, for a small child, scarier than that. That Starmer is capable of balancing both family secrets that involve Toe Beasts on the one hand and self-harm on the other, without either coming in conflict with the other tonally, is a testament to his skill.
I don’t get shocked by middle grade novels for 9-12 year olds all that often these days. As I mentioned before, “safety first” may as well be the American publishing industry’s unofficial motto right now. So I don't expect much. And I wasn’t all that surprised when this book went from a third-person narrative into a kind of script format and then back again. What DID surprise me, unnervingly so, was when, without warning, the book went from that third-person p.o.v. into a first person narrative. I can’t ever remember a book for kids doing that without telegraphing from a mile away that it was going to happen. We’ve been merrily accompanying Roman through his investigations, and then all of a sudden you're in his head. And, miraculously, there’s no confusion about whose head you are in. Starmer’s storytelling is so seamless that you seem to morph from one type of writing into another almost without noticing the change. In fact, I would bet good money that some kids won’t even register the shift. Yet it changes absolutely everything about the read, including the urgency and, to a certain extent, the conclusion.
I also greatly appreciated that Starmer doesn’t explain absolutely everything, but leaves enough clues in the book for kids to draw their own conclusions and feel smart about it. There’s a particular mystery involving an immoral science experience and two scientists that at first seems to be left open-ended, but is beautifully explained in the background all the time. But that’s not all. Like a lot of people from my generation, I suffered a severe blow to my faith that entertainment could be capable of tying up loose mysterious ends after watching the television show LOST (bear with me here). That show gleefully introduced mystery after mystery after mystery, without ever having any kind of intention of explaining what it was all about. As a result, any movie, television show, or book that seems to be doing something similar, rouses an immediate wary side-eye from me. Now I’d read The Riverman, and it ended well, but it wasn’t like this book. The mystery in that was present but singular and sustained. This book is different. It introduces a beast, a bucket, a girl, even a magic eight ball, and by the time you’re even halfway through, you start to figure that there isn’t a way in the world that Starmer will pull off explaining it all. Then, like a magician, he explains his tricks. Only unlike a magician you don’t feel disappointed at all. You’re thrilled and a little bit horrified, which is the best possible response.
By the way, let’s give a big hand to the work Jaime Zollars did with the interstitial illustrations in this book. Zollars isn’t credited on the title page (a fact that surprised me) but her style hits just the right notes with this book. The family tree is innocuous. The Toe Beast’s jar is jarring. The bucket has something desperately wrong with it. And the girl with the dogs? Boy, you just know that there’s something going on there and it cannot be good. Cannot be right. Zollars got the tone of this book right from the start, and deserved a rousing pat on the back for that. Her work actually reminded me of Sophie Blackall’s in When You Reach Me. In fact, this book’s best possible companion is probably that Rebecca Stead classic. In both cases you’ve mysteries that tie-up so beautifully that you want to reread the book the minute you get to the end. Few titles for kids hold such power.
I began this review saying that you should hand this book over to kids, but you know what? I rescind that statement. That’s not the proper way to share this book. You know what you should actually do? Forbid children to read it. Look at them skeptically if they see you with the book and say, “I dunno, kid. This one’s probably a little too much for you.” If they ask too much what?, just shake your head and sigh regretfully, “Maybe when you’re a little older.” Speculate out loud that an older sibling/cousin is probably a better fit. Don’t out-and-out forbid it. Just indicate that maybe they’d be happier with that cheery book about the girl in the lighthouse or that sweet tale of the boy who time travels back to the 80s. Then leave this creepy little number around the house. Maybe they’ll pick it up and just glance at the first page. Maybe they’ll get to Chapter One, with its Gammell-esque illustration of a toe in a jar and the sentence, “Roman’s cousins weren’t afraid of the Toe Beast.” Maybe they’ll read further, and you’ll walk in the room, see them, and say, “Okay... just don’t come running to me if you get nightmares.” Yeah. That might do it. Because for the right kind of kid in the right kind of mindframe, sick of the books that feed them the cute and the squishy, this book is precisely what they need.
I mean, it’s squishy too. Just in… another way.
When you’re the youngest in both your immediate family and out of all your five cousins (not to mention your brother) you hear things. Things you might not want to hear. Roman may be twelve, but for a lot of his life, whenever his grandfather would start to tell the story about “The Toe Beast,” Roman would leave the room. He doesn't know what a Toe Beast is, and he doesn't want to know. And when his grandpa dies under somewhat mysterious circumstances, it’s Roman’s job to tidy up and organize the old man’s house over the summer. Only what starts as a fairly routine job keeps turning up mystery after mystery. Why did his grandfather tell him to never open the locked shed in the backyard? What’s with the jar full of formaldehyde and nothing else? Why was there a strange story in the attic about a girl and some dogs? And that’s all before the rusty bucket appears. The one that seems to seriously freak out his mother. As the mysteries start to link and connect, Roman begins to understand that sometimes your family doesn’t tell you everything because you aren’t old enough. And sometimes your family doesn’t tell you everything because it’s up to you to link their secrets yourself.
There is a line near the beginning of the book which, in its way, explains what Starmer is doing here far better than I ever could. He writes, “For quite some time, Roman had been aware that his mom and dad didn’t know everything, but it was only recently that he had begun to realize that many complicated adult ideas were actually accessible to a boy his age.” Eh voila. The point of it all. What’s curious is that most of that idea is told via metaphor and creepy stories in this book, sure. But there’s also a lot of stark realism. One of those “complicated adult ideas” concerns an incident that happened to his mother when he was young. At the start of the book we learn that she cut herself rather severely and had to be taken to the hospital. It’s only slowly revealed, and never too overtly, that what happened was a lot sadder and, for a small child, scarier than that. That Starmer is capable of balancing both family secrets that involve Toe Beasts on the one hand and self-harm on the other, without either coming in conflict with the other tonally, is a testament to his skill.
I don’t get shocked by middle grade novels for 9-12 year olds all that often these days. As I mentioned before, “safety first” may as well be the American publishing industry’s unofficial motto right now. So I don't expect much. And I wasn’t all that surprised when this book went from a third-person narrative into a kind of script format and then back again. What DID surprise me, unnervingly so, was when, without warning, the book went from that third-person p.o.v. into a first person narrative. I can’t ever remember a book for kids doing that without telegraphing from a mile away that it was going to happen. We’ve been merrily accompanying Roman through his investigations, and then all of a sudden you're in his head. And, miraculously, there’s no confusion about whose head you are in. Starmer’s storytelling is so seamless that you seem to morph from one type of writing into another almost without noticing the change. In fact, I would bet good money that some kids won’t even register the shift. Yet it changes absolutely everything about the read, including the urgency and, to a certain extent, the conclusion.
I also greatly appreciated that Starmer doesn’t explain absolutely everything, but leaves enough clues in the book for kids to draw their own conclusions and feel smart about it. There’s a particular mystery involving an immoral science experience and two scientists that at first seems to be left open-ended, but is beautifully explained in the background all the time. But that’s not all. Like a lot of people from my generation, I suffered a severe blow to my faith that entertainment could be capable of tying up loose mysterious ends after watching the television show LOST (bear with me here). That show gleefully introduced mystery after mystery after mystery, without ever having any kind of intention of explaining what it was all about. As a result, any movie, television show, or book that seems to be doing something similar, rouses an immediate wary side-eye from me. Now I’d read The Riverman, and it ended well, but it wasn’t like this book. The mystery in that was present but singular and sustained. This book is different. It introduces a beast, a bucket, a girl, even a magic eight ball, and by the time you’re even halfway through, you start to figure that there isn’t a way in the world that Starmer will pull off explaining it all. Then, like a magician, he explains his tricks. Only unlike a magician you don’t feel disappointed at all. You’re thrilled and a little bit horrified, which is the best possible response.
By the way, let’s give a big hand to the work Jaime Zollars did with the interstitial illustrations in this book. Zollars isn’t credited on the title page (a fact that surprised me) but her style hits just the right notes with this book. The family tree is innocuous. The Toe Beast’s jar is jarring. The bucket has something desperately wrong with it. And the girl with the dogs? Boy, you just know that there’s something going on there and it cannot be good. Cannot be right. Zollars got the tone of this book right from the start, and deserved a rousing pat on the back for that. Her work actually reminded me of Sophie Blackall’s in When You Reach Me. In fact, this book’s best possible companion is probably that Rebecca Stead classic. In both cases you’ve mysteries that tie-up so beautifully that you want to reread the book the minute you get to the end. Few titles for kids hold such power.
I began this review saying that you should hand this book over to kids, but you know what? I rescind that statement. That’s not the proper way to share this book. You know what you should actually do? Forbid children to read it. Look at them skeptically if they see you with the book and say, “I dunno, kid. This one’s probably a little too much for you.” If they ask too much what?, just shake your head and sigh regretfully, “Maybe when you’re a little older.” Speculate out loud that an older sibling/cousin is probably a better fit. Don’t out-and-out forbid it. Just indicate that maybe they’d be happier with that cheery book about the girl in the lighthouse or that sweet tale of the boy who time travels back to the 80s. Then leave this creepy little number around the house. Maybe they’ll pick it up and just glance at the first page. Maybe they’ll get to Chapter One, with its Gammell-esque illustration of a toe in a jar and the sentence, “Roman’s cousins weren’t afraid of the Toe Beast.” Maybe they’ll read further, and you’ll walk in the room, see them, and say, “Okay... just don’t come running to me if you get nightmares.” Yeah. That might do it. Because for the right kind of kid in the right kind of mindframe, sick of the books that feed them the cute and the squishy, this book is precisely what they need.
I mean, it’s squishy too. Just in… another way.
March 29, 2026
My brain is spinning. I don’t know how someone invents a story that does all the things this story is able to do. This is a new favorite, and I’ll be recommending it to everyone I know. Super weird and sad and hopeful in the exact ways I needed it to be.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
What worked:
The author is a master storyteller, weaving several of them together in this book. Roman has never heard the entire story of his grandfather’s missing toe, and readers can expect the unexpected from events surrounding the grandfather’s death. Roman is surprised by his grandfather’s terrified face while padlocking a shed, and the man dies the very next day. However, Roman is shocked when he later finds his grandfather locked in that same shed. A series of short, creepy stories follows, and readers must piece together new information to make sense of the overall plot.
The short stories are divided into sections, so they stand out from the overall tale. This strategy helps young readers focus on them separately, helping with comprehension. The book opens with the events mentioned above, but it later describes the full story of the Toe Monster, The Girl, and the bucket. The bucket becomes a very important part of the plot, so readers will need to pay attention. The author wraps things up by alternating points of view between Roman and The Girl. These chapters provide a full explanation of how everything ties together, and reader imagination is required. The stories of the bucket and The Girl despict a family rite of passage, and the entire plot gives Roman and readers things to think about.
The Girl is the most intriguing character. Her name isn’t mentioned until late in the book, so she projects an aura of mystery. She’s always accompanied by dogs, and many family pets choose to join her. She takes over all the businesses in a small town, so readers will ponder her possible motives. On the other hand, she sometimes sounds lost and alone, causing readers to develop empathy for her character. A Tasmanian Tiger called Tiger is always nearby, and this extinct animal can talk and grant wishes. These two characters are at the heart of the plot, and their stories are revealed in the end.
What didn’t work as well:
The short stories are quite peculiar, so readers must be tolerant and open to strangeness. The ending will still have readers scratching their heads, trying to piece everything together.
The final verdict:
Hopefully, you understand this book is for active readers and requires mental engagement. The ending may leave readers with some unanswered questions, but overall, I recommend you try this book for yourself.
The author is a master storyteller, weaving several of them together in this book. Roman has never heard the entire story of his grandfather’s missing toe, and readers can expect the unexpected from events surrounding the grandfather’s death. Roman is surprised by his grandfather’s terrified face while padlocking a shed, and the man dies the very next day. However, Roman is shocked when he later finds his grandfather locked in that same shed. A series of short, creepy stories follows, and readers must piece together new information to make sense of the overall plot.
The short stories are divided into sections, so they stand out from the overall tale. This strategy helps young readers focus on them separately, helping with comprehension. The book opens with the events mentioned above, but it later describes the full story of the Toe Monster, The Girl, and the bucket. The bucket becomes a very important part of the plot, so readers will need to pay attention. The author wraps things up by alternating points of view between Roman and The Girl. These chapters provide a full explanation of how everything ties together, and reader imagination is required. The stories of the bucket and The Girl despict a family rite of passage, and the entire plot gives Roman and readers things to think about.
The Girl is the most intriguing character. Her name isn’t mentioned until late in the book, so she projects an aura of mystery. She’s always accompanied by dogs, and many family pets choose to join her. She takes over all the businesses in a small town, so readers will ponder her possible motives. On the other hand, she sometimes sounds lost and alone, causing readers to develop empathy for her character. A Tasmanian Tiger called Tiger is always nearby, and this extinct animal can talk and grant wishes. These two characters are at the heart of the plot, and their stories are revealed in the end.
What didn’t work as well:
The short stories are quite peculiar, so readers must be tolerant and open to strangeness. The ending will still have readers scratching their heads, trying to piece everything together.
The final verdict:
Hopefully, you understand this book is for active readers and requires mental engagement. The ending may leave readers with some unanswered questions, but overall, I recommend you try this book for yourself.
April 28, 2026
I feel like I left a piece of my heart in the pages of YOU ARE NOW OLD ENOUGH TO HEAR THIS by Aaron Starmer. It has family secrets. And time travel. And I was right there with Roman in his journey from loneliness to finding his place in his family narrative.
It’s a puzzle, requiring careful reading. At times I stopped, saying to myself, now, wait a minute, and I’d go back to find something, a hint.
It’s unsettling - the town taken over by The Girl and her dogs, the attic in Grandpa Henry’s house, the locked shed…
It begins with One Quick Thing;
“On the eve of his twelfth birthday, Roman Barnes made a wish. Alone in his room, tucked under his covers, he softly said the following words into the dark: “I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who understands me and what I’m going through, someone who will tell me everything is gonna be okay.”
The next morning, he received a gift.
“Oh, a magic eight ball,” he said as he sat cross- legged on the sofa, opening a box covered in shiny silver paper. “You ask it ‘yes or no’ questions and it tells your fortune, right?”
“Yep, just give it a shake and voilà, the answer will appear,” Roman’s dad said, and then he turned to Roman’s mom. “Where’d you find that?”
She shrugged. “Wasn’t me.”
“Must’ve been from his real parents,” Roman’s brother, Alex, said. “I guess now’s as good a time as ever to reveal the family secret. You’re adopted, Roman.”
“Not true and definitely not funny, Alex,” Roman’s mom said.
Roman was used to this sort of teasing from his brother, so he focused on the magic eight ball instead. He asked it, “Will you be nice to me?”
I can’t stop thinking about this story. It haunts me, in a good way. It’s distinguished in several ways. If you are doing any early #MockNewbery reading for 2026/2027, add this to your list, it’s on my #NewberyContender list.
It’s a puzzle, requiring careful reading. At times I stopped, saying to myself, now, wait a minute, and I’d go back to find something, a hint.
It’s unsettling - the town taken over by The Girl and her dogs, the attic in Grandpa Henry’s house, the locked shed…
It begins with One Quick Thing;
“On the eve of his twelfth birthday, Roman Barnes made a wish. Alone in his room, tucked under his covers, he softly said the following words into the dark: “I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who understands me and what I’m going through, someone who will tell me everything is gonna be okay.”
The next morning, he received a gift.
“Oh, a magic eight ball,” he said as he sat cross- legged on the sofa, opening a box covered in shiny silver paper. “You ask it ‘yes or no’ questions and it tells your fortune, right?”
“Yep, just give it a shake and voilà, the answer will appear,” Roman’s dad said, and then he turned to Roman’s mom. “Where’d you find that?”
She shrugged. “Wasn’t me.”
“Must’ve been from his real parents,” Roman’s brother, Alex, said. “I guess now’s as good a time as ever to reveal the family secret. You’re adopted, Roman.”
“Not true and definitely not funny, Alex,” Roman’s mom said.
Roman was used to this sort of teasing from his brother, so he focused on the magic eight ball instead. He asked it, “Will you be nice to me?”
I can’t stop thinking about this story. It haunts me, in a good way. It’s distinguished in several ways. If you are doing any early #MockNewbery reading for 2026/2027, add this to your list, it’s on my #NewberyContender list.
April 15, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️I didn’t know what to think about this book. A story about a family tree what more could it be? Add a Toe Beast, a magic bucket and a pack of dogs. I thought everyone was neglecting Roman with him being the last grandchild. The story in the middle of the book was intriguing. I was disappointed that the story within the story abruptly stopped. This middle grade novel had twists and turns with lots of surprises. Who wouldn’t want to read about a Toe Beast? This was an unexpected pleasure.
He set the jar on a milk crate next to his bed, and at night the toe would whisper to Grandpa through a little mouth beneath its nail.”
“Doors were curious things. They were the beginnings of stories. Or sometimes the endings. Opening a door could change the course of a life, or at least that’s what Roman had been told.”
“It took almost twenty years to come together, thanks to hair and nails and skin, but this was a nearly identical copy of me.”
“The story was sinking into his bones, becoming a part of him, which is what good stories are supposed to do.”
“…for a greater part of my life I blamed that silly bucket for all our family’s troubles. I attributed it to some sort of cosmic black magic that I didn’t fully understand.”
“but Roman knew now that age didn’t always shield a person from complicated truths. Growing up didn’t mean becoming less scared about things. In fact, it meant the opposite.”
“Opening a book is like opening a door and stepping through into a new world of secrets and surprises. As you close this book, I encourage you to be adventurous in your life and in your reading, and get out there and open more doors. You never know what you might discover about the world and yourself.” —from the author’s acknowledgement.
He set the jar on a milk crate next to his bed, and at night the toe would whisper to Grandpa through a little mouth beneath its nail.”
“Doors were curious things. They were the beginnings of stories. Or sometimes the endings. Opening a door could change the course of a life, or at least that’s what Roman had been told.”
“It took almost twenty years to come together, thanks to hair and nails and skin, but this was a nearly identical copy of me.”
“The story was sinking into his bones, becoming a part of him, which is what good stories are supposed to do.”
“…for a greater part of my life I blamed that silly bucket for all our family’s troubles. I attributed it to some sort of cosmic black magic that I didn’t fully understand.”
“but Roman knew now that age didn’t always shield a person from complicated truths. Growing up didn’t mean becoming less scared about things. In fact, it meant the opposite.”
“Opening a book is like opening a door and stepping through into a new world of secrets and surprises. As you close this book, I encourage you to be adventurous in your life and in your reading, and get out there and open more doors. You never know what you might discover about the world and yourself.” —from the author’s acknowledgement.
May 7, 2026
Unique and creepy and smart. But emotional and touching. It speaks to the moment in your life when you start to understand certain things haven't been explained to you because of your age. It explores family generational trauma and the reverberations of it.
I don't know how to even review this. I just really loved it and how well everything came together. I was flipping back and forth putting it all together at the end. This is a childrens book that understands kid readers are smart and does not talk down to them.
This quote basically sums up the whole book.
I don't know how to even review this. I just really loved it and how well everything came together. I was flipping back and forth putting it all together at the end. This is a childrens book that understands kid readers are smart and does not talk down to them.
This quote basically sums up the whole book.
For quite some time, Roman had been aware that his mom and dad didn’t know everything, but it was only recently that he had begun to realize that many complicated adult ideas were actually accessible to a boy his age
April 19, 2026
Really a 4.5.
I gobbled this novel up in two sittings and think any tween will do the same. It's mesmerzing. Starmer's inventiveness and story-teetlling is remarkable.
Now, questions: Spoiler Alert!!!
And if you are reading this and have answers or theories, please comment.
1) Why would Marv wish for the bucket? Did his wish come AFTER he had his daughters? Why would he wish it as a child since he didn't know the future.
2) Why dogs? Is there not a why but just a there is. . .
3) When Roman and Alex return to know their grandmother, they will meet her as a child/a girl. Yes?
I gobbled this novel up in two sittings and think any tween will do the same. It's mesmerzing. Starmer's inventiveness and story-teetlling is remarkable.
Now, questions: Spoiler Alert!!!
And if you are reading this and have answers or theories, please comment.
1) Why would Marv wish for the bucket? Did his wish come AFTER he had his daughters? Why would he wish it as a child since he didn't know the future.
2) Why dogs? Is there not a why but just a there is. . .
3) When Roman and Alex return to know their grandmother, they will meet her as a child/a girl. Yes?
April 23, 2026
At first I liked this but thought it might be too similar to The Riverman. Then when it described “the mulligan theory”, I thought why shouldn’t Starmer be allowed a Riverman do-over? Then I thought there actually is another well-known book, not by Starmer, that is the true comparable here, but I can’t say what it is without spoiling things.
At one point, maybe because of the chapter titles, I also weirdly thought of Stead’s A Potion, A Powder. . . which I recently read. Among other things, both are perhaps not as original as one might first think, but rare enough.
At one point, maybe because of the chapter titles, I also weirdly thought of Stead’s A Potion, A Powder. . . which I recently read. Among other things, both are perhaps not as original as one might first think, but rare enough.
April 23, 2026
In the beginning, I wasn’t sure I was going to like this story. I couldn’t tell where it was going or what it was supposed to BE. However, that turned out to be one if the most delightful parts of this book. I never ever knew what was about to happen. It is STRANGE and WEIRD but in the best, most enthralling ways.
Immediately after finishing the book, I looked up more books by Aaron Starmer because I’m convinced he’s my kind of storyteller.
Middle grade book for anyone who loves the wonderfully weird.
Immediately after finishing the book, I looked up more books by Aaron Starmer because I’m convinced he’s my kind of storyteller.
Middle grade book for anyone who loves the wonderfully weird.
May 19, 2026
An odd little story that fits in with Miss Peregrine, where Roman's grandfather dies but there's some lore surrounding his life and legacy including the Toe Beast which was a part of his grandfather's body that he fed with pieces of his body like hair and nail clippings until it took on a life form of it's own.
How does that connect to a deeper family story? Well, add a little romance and some storytelling and you've got a curious mix of Starmer's exploration of how we know, get to know, and never know our family.
How does that connect to a deeper family story? Well, add a little romance and some storytelling and you've got a curious mix of Starmer's exploration of how we know, get to know, and never know our family.
April 20, 2026
You Are Now Old Enough to Hear This is one of the weirdest books I have ever read. Maybe I simply did not get it, but from the very beginning the story went from strange to bizarre. It is a well written, easy to read book. There is nothing wrong with it, making it appropriate for any age. It was the actual tale that I did not care for.
I received a free advance reader copy. All opinions are my own.
I received a free advance reader copy. All opinions are my own.
May 7, 2026
I was absolutely enthralled by this story for most of the book. I had no idea where it would go. I'm not sure if the ending quiiiiite lived up to the buildup of the story, but I definitely wouldn't say it's a letdown. It's a bit of an unresolved ending, but I don't personally mind that. (FYI there are some dark elements to the story, but also I think they're dealt with in a kid-appropriate way.)
May 9, 2026
This is both highly bizarre (in plot) and yet familiar (in the internal growth and convcerns) which will likely bring diverse reading audiences to the story. The "family tale" that introduces and pervades the first half of the book resembles a classic campfire story, but from the the complexity becomes more challenging and original.
The sibling and cousin relationships might be especially appealing within closeknit families.
The sibling and cousin relationships might be especially appealing within closeknit families.
April 5, 2026
I should probably wait to write a review since I just finished reading it and my head is still spinning. This is one of the strangest books I’ve read. It’s filled with many different stories that are intertwined and keep you turning the pages. Aaron Starmer clearly has an active imagination and the ability to share his stories.
May 7, 2026
I had high hopes for this—love the title and the concept. I thought Roman was a sympathetic character. But in the end, I struggled with the pacing and lost the sense of tension
And stakes. All of the different forms of narration drew me out of the story. This was an ambitious try that fell flat for me, but I can see why others (adult gatekeepers) will like it.
And stakes. All of the different forms of narration drew me out of the story. This was an ambitious try that fell flat for me, but I can see why others (adult gatekeepers) will like it.
May 16, 2026
This book starts out creepy and mysterious and unsettling, and while the creepiness lets up quite a bit, the mysterious and unsettling continues throughout.
Recommended for kids in grade 4+ who like weird books, or mysteries where you don't get all the answers.
Recommended for kids in grade 4+ who like weird books, or mysteries where you don't get all the answers.
May 17, 2026
Wasn't too bad. The only thing I had an issue with was the amount of info-dumping it gave. Yes, characters were telling stories, but people did it for ten pages each.
Other than that, the twist was confusing but that could've just been a me thing
Other than that, the twist was confusing but that could've just been a me thing
May 19, 2026
This was an interesting story that came from different angles: family legend, a letter/story, a few mysterious happenings that all come together into a cohesive --if magical -- explanation of their family. Points for the novel approach.
October 23, 2025
Review to come in School Library Journal.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
I loved this book. Unique, inventive, strange, entertaining.
April 10, 2026
This is a great weird twisting winding story about family and the stories we tell of ourselves. Just read it already
April 11, 2026
I don’t know how to rate this one. It was absolutely bizarre - I don’t think I liked it at all but I couldn’t put it down . . .
April 21, 2026
Ya. And weird.
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