The Lost Language of Oysters

Portuguese Irregular Verbs #6

by Alexander McCall Smith

The latest book in Alexander McCall Smith's entertaining and hilarious Professor von Igelfeld series

Professor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld is not just any German professor - he is the author of that great work of scholarship, Portuguese Irregular Verbs. His eminence in language studies is widely recognised, even if it is rarely acknowledged by his colleague, Professor Detlev-Amadeus Unterholzer, author of a much less important work on the subjunctive. Their rivalry bubbles away under the surface, but is apt to come into the open if something unusual disturbs the calm waters of the institute in Regensburg in which they both work.

One such event is the arrival from New Orleans of two visiting scholars. These ladies, Professor Pom Pom Boisseau, and her friend, Professor Alice Martinique, are both experts in the Provençal language as well as being keen bikers. When they choose to arrive on large, noisy motorbikes, Unterholzer is shocked, but von Igelfeld is rather taken with Pom Pom. In fact, he is very taken with her, even to the extent of going for a ride with her on her motorbike.

Anybody can tell that this infatuation will lead to disappointment, if not worse. But for von Igelfeld, disasters often arrive in twos and threes. The great professor is invited to attend a student occasion in which the old habit of duelling rears its head. He is handed a sword...

Von Igelfeld may suffer humiliation after humiliation, but at the end of it all there is the promise of a visit to Louisiana, a culinary paradise, where important research is being undertaken into communication among oysters...

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Mystery, Germany

240 pages, Paperback

Published February 3, 2026

About the author

Alexander McCall Smith is the author of the international phenomenon The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series, the Isabel Dalhousie Series, the Portuguese Irregular Verbs series, and the 44 Scotland Street series. He is professor emeritus of medical law at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and has served on many national and international bodies concerned with bioethics. He was born in what is now known as Zimbabwe and he was a law professor at the University of Botswana. He lives in Scotland. Visit him online at www.alexandermccallsmith.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

Reviews

[Phrynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The latest episode in the life of Professor von Igenfeld at the Institute where he works in Regensburg. Two visiting scholars from New Orleans provide lots of entertainment especially as they are women as well as being keen bikers. Von Igenfeld even goes so far as to have a ride on the back of Professor Pom Pom Boisseaus' motor bike. Several uncomfortable events occur to upset von Igenfeld but by the end of the book he has recovered and is looking forward to a visit to Louisiana.

The story is about linguistics but I was mostly amazed by the author's own language skills. His prose is a joy to read and his knowledge of everything and anything is quite staggering. At only 226 pages this is a little gem of a book. Five stars!

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Language evolved in the stomachs of the living, in the usage of ordinary people who were, for the most part, misinformed and wrong about so much.”

The Lost Language Of Oysters is the sixth book in the Professor Dr Von Igelfeld series. The Institute of Romance Philology at the University of Regensburg is about to host two female professors from the Tulane University in New Orleans, keen bikers who have hired red Ducatis on which to get around for their five-week stay. While Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld thinks trains would be perfectly adequate, he will, of course, be welcoming.

His colleague, Professor Unterholzer, though, is worried the Institute’s reputation will be irretrievably ruined, and at von Igelfeld’s indifference, he wonders “what hope there is of maintaining the Academy’s defences against the tides of vulgarisation lapping at its shores.” When von Igelfeld accepts a ride with Professor Pom Pom Boisseau, Unterholzer is sure he has taken leave of his senses, and devises a plan to have his sanity covertly assessed: perhaps von Igelfeld will need a break and his office can be appropriated?

After the ride though, Moritz-Maria believes he’s in love. The only thing distracting him from Pom Pom is trying to get hold of an advance copy of a book that has a chapter praising his seminal work, Portuguese Irregular Verbs. He learned of it at a conference, from an Italian professor he would have ignored on the basis of his paper, A Neanderthal Suppositional Grammar, until the man alerted him to the book. But the Institute’s only copy is out on loan to Professor Unterholzer: vanity and curiosity see von Igelfeld firstly in a situation of potential moral compromise with a local politician, then in a very tight spot.

Before their visitors return to Louisiana, von Igelfeld ends up with a duelling injury which, bizarrely, comes in handy when he overreacts to honours heaped upon his colleague and rival. He is grateful for the support of the unassuming (but often tedious) librarian, Herr Huber, and when he has the good fortune to himself have an honour bestowed, he is urged to be charitable to that rival.

Alexander McCall Smith has the singular talent of being able to write a whole series with tongue firmly in cheek, even as he makes insightful observations about academia: office envy, sensitivity over titles and qualifications, jealousy over accolades meted out to others, and the possessive guarding of coffee room privileges. And he allows his characters some wisdom: “There is no point in engaging with taxi drivers. With skills so sharp that they might have been honed in an ancient Greek academy of rhetoric, they always win.” Guaranteed to entertain.

[Violet (Travelling, I'll be back in August) · Rating 4 out of 5]

More amusing exploits from the pompous German professors bumbling through ridiculous rivalries and romantic missteps.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading just the sixth book of a series of 6 actually worked for me. I was amused but probably not enough to go back to the beginning. I have a vague memory of having tried it and put the book back on the shelf at the library.

Library Loan

[Chrystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

von Igelfeld rides on a motorbike, fights a duel, and hides in a closet. This series is so silly and so funny.

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last few pages of this book are just splendid and redeeming to my soul. The ending elevates the entire book and all the petty and often very entertaining situations that lead up to the beautiful ending.

I often say that I feel like a better person when I finish almost any book my Alexander McCall Smith.

I might be his #1 fan or at least in the top 97%.

[Julian Worker · Rating 5 out of 5]

The stories in this series are my favourite Alexander McCall Smith books.

The sixth book sees two female American professors, Pom Pom Boisseau and Alice Martinique from New Orleans, visit the University of Regensburg's Institute of Romance Philology, where they meet Professor Dr Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, Professor Unterholzer, and the librarian Herr Huber.

Of course, von Igelfeld falls for one of the professors and never considers that she might be married. Unterholzer believes that von Igelfeld is behaving even more strangely than normal and asks a family relation, who is a psychologist, to assess von Igelfeld at a dinner hosted by Unterholzer at which the visiting professors are also present. Unlike previous dinners, Unterholzer's one-legged dog called Walter survives intact.

This is clever, gentle humour where the pompous von Igelfeld somehow survives with his self-belief intact and is even invited to the USA to receive another honorary doctorate.

[Lucy Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding out this was the 7th book in a series didn't really detract from the gentle absurdity of the story. Would definitely read more of this series.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Begins and develops as another charming, gentle and politely surreal pastiche of academic life, but I found the ending unsatisfactory.

[Donna Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoever says that the study of linguistics is dry and without humor has not read this latest book about Moritz-Maria von Ingelfeld, author of Portuguese Irregular Verbs.

Alexander McCall Smith has a delightful sense of language, as he delves into this off-beat character, a writer and professor at a prestigious institute in Germany.

This is a delightfully humorous look at linguistics and the politics of an institute of higher thought.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Professor Dr. Dr. Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld - blumbler academic is good for a chuckle.

[Grammy A · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this author so much, and this series is a delight.

[Carlina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book being familiar with the author but not this series and fully expected a mystery to take place. When I realized there was no mystery I was taken in so much by the characters and tongue in cheek humor that I didn’t mind. It feels like the kind of book that the author was meant to write all along. He clearly loves manipulating words and I enjoyed being along for the ride.

It follows Professor von Igelfeld, an important author of Portuguese Irregular Verbs and his antics with his colleagues at an institute in Regensburg, Germany. I was surprised how much humor there was in it. It’s a very dry, what I think of as very British humor, heady and subtle, straight faced ridiculousness. The plot was slow-moving but enjoyable.

This book is not for everyone but if you like character driven stories, dad jokes and word of the day calendars you will love this book. I will definitely go back and read the earlier books and look forward to another book after this.

[Donald · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rather an odd addition to the series, Von Igelfeld is a figure of absurdity and pomposity in the other books, here he's just a slightly eccentric academic... two stereotypical 'dykes on bikes' are introduced, visiting professors from New Orleans, but no, they're married heterosexuals? Then at the end, a plot device is lifted (can one plagiarise oneself?) wholesale from the last Isabel Dalhousie...
Is AMS even writing these books?

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book rating: 4/5 ⭐️
Genre: academic satire
Themes: office politics, ego, colleague rivalry

I found myself laughing out loud during this one. I am an academic and am thus familiar with certain facets of this rather archaic environment of egos and focused intellect. My personal experience only increased the entertainment factor in this ridiculous portrayal and roasting of professors. The petty politics of academics and their glorified self-importance was of course extenuated to comical lengths, but there remained a nugget of truth in this position.

Professor Dr Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld is enamoured with his own fame. As the author of the well received book of exceptional length as to be useful as a stool, Portuguese Irregular Verbs garners him respect among those that enjoy learning obscure facets of linguistics. His jealous colleague Professor Dr Detlev Amadeus Unterholzer has been a lifelong rival who is determined to take that which is most important to all professors - his exceptional office next to the common room. It being perfectly temperate all year long with the best view of the campus it is of course highly sought after. His tactics will lead to much hilarity with the inclusion of a claim to insanity and a cringe worthy crush of oblivious detection.

Meanwhile two bike riding visiting professors from Louisiana are shaking things up. The arrival of Professor Pom Pom Boisseau and Professor Alice Martinique will spark infatuation and many wagging tongues. These wild women will break the chock hold of convention and provide a much needed contrast to the uptight German professors. Things will be lost in translation much to the enjoyment of readers.

All the characters were ridiculous and I loved it! There were a surplus of superiority complexes colouring character interactions be it friends or foe, which really made this sature shine. Engrossed in tiny irrelevant facts these seemingly boring men provided an excellent repertoire of puns and farcical scenarios. The awkward conversations, regulations when it came to the coffee room, library book policy and diction were addressed with a glorified sense of entitilement that only one who is a commander of obscure facts may possess, which I may be so bold in saying very few care about. I will never look at my colleagues the same way again!

Thank you to Vintage Books for the gifted copy. Released in February 2026 for you all to enjoy.

[Nick Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favourite McCall Smith series.
Some of his books have rather tedious know-it-all characters who take themselves very seriously, such as Ms Dalhousie and they are not at all humorous.
The Professor Dr Von Igelfeld books (interestingly called "entertainments") are full of tedious characters who are actually very funny.Nowhere else in this writer's canon does one laugh out loud so much.

In this day of tedious wokery and attempts to censor free speech, it is nice to see that one can still poke fun at people and not be cancelled.The author's very funny gentle teasing of Germans gets by, unlike John Cleese's dangerously censored "Fawlty Towers".

McCall Smith is also I think laughing at himself when talking about the characters' pursuit of honorary degrees, as he himself is the recipient of these from 13 universities.

I enjoyed the Italian Professor lecturing on early languages that were so early and obscure as to have left behind no evidence of their existence at all.That won't stop a good linguistics expert!

To prove there is nothing wrong with repeating other people's witticisms,I loved his reference to Lord Palmerston's quote:"Only three people have really understood the Schleswig-Holstein business;the Prince Consort,who is dead;a German professor, who has gone mad and I,who have forgotten all about it." Nice to see the use of the much maligned semi-colon,and what a contrast to the hopeless and foolishly embarrassing David Lammy version of a Foreign Secretary.

I loved von Igelfeld's ruminations on whether Tennyson actually stole the famous quote about being better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all from Goethe,because it was such a good line reported to be by the English lord.

The whole book is McCall Smth at his finest:witty,thoughtful and teasing of others.

[Vir Sala Keville · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. As a non-native English speaker, I found parts of it a little slow and difficult to follow at times, especially because so much of the humor relies on language, academic culture, and subtle observations.
That said, the humor is fantastic. What I love most about the Professor von Igelfeld books is how seriously these professor takes the most ridiculous and insignificant matters. His logic is often completely bizarre, yet somehow perfectly believable. I found myself laughing at the way the professors constantly judge and criticize one another while maintaining a veneer of politeness and intellectual superiority.
Professor von Igelfeld himself is a wonderful character because he is both well-intentioned and deeply flawed. He frequently makes assumptions about other people, convinced that he understands them better than they understand themselves, and the results are often hilarious. He can be selfish, arrogant, and oblivious, yet somehow still oddly likable.
I also appreciate that Alexander McCall Smith isn't afraid to write characters who think uncharitable thoughts. The humor comes from exposing the petty judgments, insecurities, and vanities that most people have but rarely admit to. In an era where many books feel careful not to offend, this series continues to embrace that very human awkwardness, and I think it's all the funnier because of it.
While this wasn't my favorite installment and occasionally felt a bit repetitive, it still delivered exactly what I expect from the series: clever satire, eccentric academics, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. If you enjoy dry humor and stories that poke fun at academic life, I would definitely recommend it.

[Doug Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

At a conference in Berlin, Prof Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld sits through a silly talk by Prof Garelli-Ferrari on Neanderthal language. After the talk, though, Garelli-Ferrari tells von Igelfeld that a new book by Giovanni Fantozzi contains a whole chapter praising von Igelfeld's work.

Von Igelfeld is anxious to see the Fantozzi book, but after he comes back home to the Institute of Romantic Philology in Regensburg, he finds out that his colleague Unterholzer has just borrowed the Institute's copy and will not have to return it for six weeks.


Meanwhile there's excitement at the Institute with the arrival of two female visitors from Tulane, Pom Pom Boisseau and Alice Martinique. The visitors are avid motorcyclists, and von Igelfeld is thrilled to be invited on a motorcycle ride by Boisseau.

When Unterholzer hears about von Igelfeld's jaunt on a motorcycle, he wonders if von Igelfeld might be losing his mind. If so, could he be declared insane so that Ubterholzer could claim his office?

There is lots of petty academic politics at the Institute. It may be up to the visitors to find a way to end the feud between von Igelfeld and Unterholzer.

I enjoy this series with its hilarious spoofs of academic life.

[Tairachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the famous author of over a hundred books including The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, comes a new book from Alexander McCall Smith: The Lost Language of Oysters.

Part of the von Igelfeld series, The Lost Language of Oysters follows a lonely German professor, Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, the esteemed author who wrote the 'Portuguese Irregular Verbs'. While he's well recognised by his fellow academics in the field of language studies, his colleague, Professor Unterholzer, rarely acknowledges Dr von Igelfeld's scholarly eminence. And so their academic rivalry continues simmering in the background, until the arrival of two women bikers, Professors Pom Pom Boisseau and Alice Martinique, from New Orleans, who are experts in the Provencal language, on two large motorcycles, ends up widening their growing differences, with Professor Unterholzer in shock, and Dr von Igelfeld rather smitten with Pom Pom. A nasty anonymous letter for Professor von Igelfeld appears and Professor von Igelfeld is promised a tempting visit to Louisiana to try gumbo and enjoy jazz, but can he win over the liberal Pom Pom while maintaining his position at the Regensburg Institute?

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I’ve been reading just about every title from Herr Dr Prof Alexander Smith. He is dryly hilarious — pomposity popped! Egos exposed! Societal norms questioned! There’s some redundancy, predictable patterns of behavior (characters often search the ceiling for insights), but scholarship and keen observations are everywhere evident, nowhere more so than in the Portuguese Irregular Verbs series. They can be read independently but it helps enrich one’s appreciation of Von Iglefeld’s academic brouhahas to read them all in sequence. The Lost Language of Oysters has little to do with oysters but there’s a connection with New Orleans via two visiting motorcycling scholars, one of whom, “Pom Pom,” stirs romantic feelings in Iglefeld, who is invited to ride Pellion with her around the Regensburg university where low-stakes competitions for office space and acknowledgment continue. The usual sorts of bureaucratic effronteries are met archly but with regard for academic etiquette.

[SHIRLEY · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was looking forward to another charming mystery set in Germany and was disappointed in this book because it consisted of a lot of posturing, with the MC, Prof Igelfeld looking for accolades about his book Portuguese Irregular Verbs which he thought were written in another book that a colleague borrowed from the library and kept for the full 6 weeks. In addition to this stressor, Igelfeld's office was in a highly desirable location, and another professor wanted his space. Enter two female visiting professors from Tulane University, who arrived on motorcycles, and the staid scholars are shocked. Even so, Iglefeld is smitten with one of the women- Pom Pom and they do have some amusing moments. Unfortunately, for me there was very little story to this book and it lacked the charm that I've been used to with the author's other series.
I received an ARC of this novel from NetGalley. The opinions expressed are my own.

[Mary Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another volume in the Professor von Igelfeld series, a wry humorous take on academic life from the perspective of a fictional German professor a little too in love with his fame - he is the author of that great work of scholarship, Portuguese Irregular Verbs. Academic rivalries abound, with interwoven stratagems, plots and various side characters added for extra flavor.

I found this book in the series, while enjoyable, lacked the humor of ‘Sausage Dogs’, ‘Villa’ or ‘Olive Oil’. Nevertheless, it had a generous supply of esoteric quotes and polite conversations edged with machinations and sharpness. I would recommend this for lovers of the series, but if you’re not familiar with it, I’d recommend you go back and read them in order, or this will seem quite strange on its own.

[Marian Beaman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sixth in the “Professor Dr von Igelfeld” series, “The Lost Language of Oysters” is a tale of academia with themes of rivalry, infatuation, and misplaced allegiances. The tale is told with Alexander McCall Smith’s characteristic wit and gentle humor, but readers may get bogged down in the machinations of librarian Herr Uber Huber, professors Dr. von Igelfeld, and Dr. Unterholzer, as I was. There is a bit of comic relief with the introduction of Pom Pom and Alice, academics from Tulane University in Louisiana, who arrive on motorcycles, sporting tattoos and touting oysters Rockefeller. I much prefer the 44 Scotland Street Series and the Isabel Dalhousie Series. In contrast, this tome with copious references to Portuguese Irregular Verbs seemed “much ado about very little.”

[chuchus · Rating 5 out of 5]

9/10! never read any of the books in this series or by this author, just picked itbecause i thought the cover and title were lovely. it's? surprisingly subtle about basically everything even though i laughed aloud quite a few times and was throughly amused. there are lots of callbacks to other books in ther series (which i can tell just from the titles and summaries of the other books, lol) but it wasn't distracting at all. shoutout to my favorite joke (uber-huber/mega-huber) and to the very short chapter about picnicking, which i thought was very silly and sweet <3

[Rachel Heller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like seafood and Alexander McCall Smith's books. Therefore, I was excited to read this book. The Lost Language of Oysters by Alexander McCall Smith is a good novella. I like the academic vibe of it and I like the chapters involving cheese, pinics, and Oysters Rockefeller. However, at times the novella seemed a bit too high brow even for an avid reader such as myself. I rate this book 3.5 out of five stars.

[Lyndall MacInnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elinor Oliphant/Olive Kitteridge style characters, except a million of them and was a bit too ridiculous for me. Bumped up to 3 stars because a few moments did make me laugh out loud including the natural use of the word pettifoggery, someone called Herr Huber grumbling about a Herr Uber-Huber etc etc.

[Quinn Fforde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Professor Dr. von Igelfeld is very aware of vaunted position in the academic world, and he tries to rise above the petty squabbles around him. However, the squabbles land on his office doorstep this time. There are conspirators to deal with, bureaucrats to put firmly in place, and motorcycles to ride. There is quite a lot going on in this episode, and it is all very funny and entertaining.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read and enjoyed several of McCall Smith's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels, so I decided to enter this Goodreads giveaway. Thank you to Vintage Books for the opportunity to read and review the book. Unfortunately, there is not much to say other than that I found it mildly amusing. Perhaps if I had read the previous five installments, it would have been better appreciated.

[Melsene G · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars. This is a very humorous series and it was nice to be back with our German friends and professors. The usual jealousies and conflicts in academia. Lies and plagiarism. But the end result is being kind is the way to go. This is a major theme of AMS's books and a good one! Enjoy! Quick read.

[Bev · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just a delight -- it made me laugh out loud, yet "tear up" occasionally too. In the midst of their usual rivalry, the professors and librarian at the University of Regensburg's Institute of Romance Philology are visited by two female scholars from New Orleans. A McCall Smith is a witty, kind writer who is such a favourite of mine.