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Romance Is Like That
Caroline loves Dave. Dave loves Caroline. They're Caucasian, and there's a problem... No, not them being Caucasian, something else. Dave also loves business. Caroline wants nothing more than for Dave to see what she looks like below her navel, but Dave never gives her enough allotted time for that to happen. He's always so busy with business. Dave has to be careful, because Caroline has this stupid friend, Brenda, that I really hate and she wants Caroline to herself. She wants Dave super dead and out of the picture for good. Wait. There's more. Business hates Caroline, because she keeps trying to get Dave to miss important deadlines, so they can have sexy fun times together. Dave and Caroline seriously need to get their act together before Brenda and Business destroy their love. That would be bad. Why? Because romance isn't like that. Luckily for our lovebirds, they have a secret weapon - Mortimer, a crafty goldfish who is amazing at coming up with brilliant plans. But can his plans save the lovers from turmoil and chaos, or will Brenda and Business succeed in obliterating the potential for the greatest love story ever to be told?
There's also a cat named Cheddar in the story. He's great.
There's also a cat named Cheddar in the story. He's great.
105 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2025
131 people are currently reading
430 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
May 17, 2025
The Velocipastor of Romance Novels
This is disturbingly brilliant. It took me an entire day to finish the first chapter because I had to stop after each paragraph to alternately laugh and question every decision I ever made that led me to reading this book. By the time I reached the end, I had sore muscles everywhere from laughing so hard. I had tears running down my face. And then, the very last line had me barely able to breathe. Well done, author.
This is disturbingly brilliant. It took me an entire day to finish the first chapter because I had to stop after each paragraph to alternately laugh and question every decision I ever made that led me to reading this book. By the time I reached the end, I had sore muscles everywhere from laughing so hard. I had tears running down my face. And then, the very last line had me barely able to breathe. Well done, author.
May 31, 2025
I think I died a few times of laughter. My husband also liked it. Not that he had a choice. I just kept reading out loud and forcing him to listen. He laughed so it’s all good.
June 1, 2025
"Fuck your selfish need for precise storytelling" - Liian Varus, Romance is Like That
this is peek top tier romance comedy. who needs therapy when you can defeat Business and discover what Caroline looks like below her navel.
no judgements. because romance is like that.
also someone please check on Brenda.
this is peek top tier romance comedy. who needs therapy when you can defeat Business and discover what Caroline looks like below her navel.
no judgements. because romance is like that.
also someone please check on Brenda.
May 31, 2025
This book is a hilarious reminder that, yes, romance is, in fact, like that.
I felt like I was having a horrifying but sexy fever dream after taking too many walmart melatonin—scared and weirdly turned on at the same time. If you like Rollercoasters, irony, and people shoving down their emotions with comedy, this book is probably for you! And if you don't buy it, you probably just don't like fun. *cough,BRENDA,cough*
I felt like I was having a horrifying but sexy fever dream after taking too many walmart melatonin—scared and weirdly turned on at the same time. If you like Rollercoasters, irony, and people shoving down their emotions with comedy, this book is probably for you! And if you don't buy it, you probably just don't like fun. *cough,BRENDA,cough*
May 31, 2025
Comedy GOLD
I don't even know where to start. This book was a lot. Like A LOT a lot.
The misogyny gets old quickly, but you're swiftly distracted by some other f*cked up sh*t that comes totally out of left field.
I cannot lie, I about DIED at the very last sentence of this book because... Wtaf???
I don't even know where to start. This book was a lot. Like A LOT a lot.
The misogyny gets old quickly, but you're swiftly distracted by some other f*cked up sh*t that comes totally out of left field.
I cannot lie, I about DIED at the very last sentence of this book because... Wtaf???
June 4, 2025
This is the funniest book I’ve ever read in my life. It was disturbing, it was hilarious, the writing was so funny.
June 3, 2025
This book is bound ok, no pages fell out during my read.
It has helpful advice on the cover.
This is likely the most quotable book I own.
I enjoyed it so much that I will likely inflict it upon others.
Errr... I meant, "share with."
Perhaps so that they will enjoy it also.
Perhaps so that they will learn to supervise their bookshelves more closely in the future.
This book should be made into a movie, as the author suggests.
Film festivals love this sort of story.
We should not disappoint them.
Film festivals are a lot of work.
Edited to add: This is even better read aloud.
It has helpful advice on the cover.
This is likely the most quotable book I own.
I enjoyed it so much that I will likely inflict it upon others.
Errr... I meant, "share with."
Perhaps so that they will enjoy it also.
Perhaps so that they will learn to supervise their bookshelves more closely in the future.
This book should be made into a movie, as the author suggests.
Film festivals love this sort of story.
We should not disappoint them.
Film festivals are a lot of work.
Edited to add: This is even better read aloud.
November 3, 2025
It’s good to expand your horizons. To take the road less traveled sometimes, right? All I legitimately read is horror & write it as well. My writing journey has led me to write some of the most depraved/harrowing/traumatizing scenes I could imagine. Yet, I know deep down inside—past the gore-hound/phobophile—rests a powerful creature at the very core of my being: a silly goose.🪿 Which is who got his fill reading Romance is Like That by Liian Varus, in abundance! To the point, he gorged on the absurdity & the WTF-ness; but he prevailed & finished one hell of a book. (Didn’t think I was gunna nail that segue did ya? Oh ye of little faith.)
Quick Synopsis:
Go read the actual synopsis, I legit can’t compete with that.
I will go out on a limb to say that this is horror-adjacent, if you must classify such a work of pure extraordinary comedy. The descriptions are on par with some of the finest body horror scenes I’ve witnessed & then some. This book was without a doubt the most insane, absurd, unhinged book I have ever read & I LOL’d far too often. At least once a page. I want take the time out now to apologize to my friends who didn’t block me (the rest can choke) while I read this, because I was sending screenshots the whole time. I legit highlighted half of the book. I first heard about it making romance book clubs rage & crash out, so I said GIMME GIMME & I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it. Is this for everyone? No. Is this for most? Also no. Is this for fucked up silly gooses? HONK. Double honk actually. While we are back on the driving metaphor: reading “speed bumps” are not usually a good thing. They’re those weird mental record scratch moments you encounter in a story that make your brain grab for the “oh shit” handles b/c that makes no sense?? Well, I encountered about 14 of those in the 1st page. Which made for a bumpy ride. My shocks are fucked. Yet I have no regrets & highly recommend it…to people who laugh at farts & people falling down, basically. GO READ IT!
P.s. FUCKING BRENDA.
Quick Synopsis:
Go read the actual synopsis, I legit can’t compete with that.
I will go out on a limb to say that this is horror-adjacent, if you must classify such a work of pure extraordinary comedy. The descriptions are on par with some of the finest body horror scenes I’ve witnessed & then some. This book was without a doubt the most insane, absurd, unhinged book I have ever read & I LOL’d far too often. At least once a page. I want take the time out now to apologize to my friends who didn’t block me (the rest can choke) while I read this, because I was sending screenshots the whole time. I legit highlighted half of the book. I first heard about it making romance book clubs rage & crash out, so I said GIMME GIMME & I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it. Is this for everyone? No. Is this for most? Also no. Is this for fucked up silly gooses? HONK. Double honk actually. While we are back on the driving metaphor: reading “speed bumps” are not usually a good thing. They’re those weird mental record scratch moments you encounter in a story that make your brain grab for the “oh shit” handles b/c that makes no sense?? Well, I encountered about 14 of those in the 1st page. Which made for a bumpy ride. My shocks are fucked. Yet I have no regrets & highly recommend it…to people who laugh at farts & people falling down, basically. GO READ IT!
P.s. FUCKING BRENDA.
May 4, 2025
Unhinged in the BEST and Most Hilarious Way
I sat staring at the black box in the “Before You Go” section of my Kindle app for hours, trying to figure out how to begin reviewing the fever dream I had just witnessed, like some voyeur outside the bathroom glory hole. Well, not really. I had a Cadbury and took a nap. But I thought about it. And continued thinking about it.
In this story, every character thinks they are the main character, including the author himself, but at its beautiful little core, it is a love story between two best friends who can't seem to get things right as life, business, and a birch named Brenda keeps getting in the way.
Having connected with this author through his brutal and heart-destroying poetry, I was not expecting this level of satirical, silly, and downright hilarious prose. And hot dang if it isn’t romantic and quite a bit spicy.
It is short but doesn’t seem rushed. You feel like you get a full and complete arc. If you love satire and irreverent humor, I recommend you discover what romance is like in the world of Dave and Caroline, two crazy kids who know they are meant to be.
I sat staring at the black box in the “Before You Go” section of my Kindle app for hours, trying to figure out how to begin reviewing the fever dream I had just witnessed, like some voyeur outside the bathroom glory hole. Well, not really. I had a Cadbury and took a nap. But I thought about it. And continued thinking about it.
In this story, every character thinks they are the main character, including the author himself, but at its beautiful little core, it is a love story between two best friends who can't seem to get things right as life, business, and a birch named Brenda keeps getting in the way.
Having connected with this author through his brutal and heart-destroying poetry, I was not expecting this level of satirical, silly, and downright hilarious prose. And hot dang if it isn’t romantic and quite a bit spicy.
It is short but doesn’t seem rushed. You feel like you get a full and complete arc. If you love satire and irreverent humor, I recommend you discover what romance is like in the world of Dave and Caroline, two crazy kids who know they are meant to be.
June 16, 2025
i don't typically write reviews, however, this was comedy gold. I was alternating between laughing out loud and cringing at the same time 😂😂😂. I'm trying to think of a way to compare it and the closest I can come is this is like Spaceballs and Scary Movie of romantic satire, just in word form. Cheddar and Mortimer were my favorite. If your looking for a quick read thats guaranteed to make your day this is the Novella for you.
July 14, 2025
I honestly don't know how to rate this book. Did I read it from cover to cover in 24 hours? Yes. Did I giggle out loud from the ridiculous adult themed humor? Absolutely. Can I give high marks to a stream of writing that seems like a high end middle schooler with waaay too much knowledge of hormones wrote it? I don't know. Funny. Ridiculous. Low-brow. Yet enjoyable. 3.5 stars?
November 19, 2025
I wanted to DNF this book so bad. I took one for the team for our book group so no one else had to read this. I just can’t even. It started out stupid funny, and then by 25% I was just over it. Half the time you don’t even know what you’re reading.
Yeah, I understand it’s supposed to be satire, but it’s not. It’s just dumb.
Yeah, I understand it’s supposed to be satire, but it’s not. It’s just dumb.
September 9, 2025
I... have no words. this feels like nightvales very unhinged, very horny cousin. Throughout a big chunk of this, I didn't even know what was going on but it was great. in a terrible way. but great.
May 31, 2025
crazy and funny.
August 2, 2025
What did I just read?!
This was like a fever dream....in the absolute best way possible! I laughed almost the entire way through this book. It was freaking incredible.
Listen, this is not a literary masterpiece. It is, however, the best satire I have ever read. And in that regard, it is an absolute masterpiece!!
Character development? Not even a little. World building? Who needs it! Logical plot development? What plot!
Breaking through the fourth wall? The fourth wall doesn't exist in this book!!
Go into this book knowing it's not that serious. Nothing is that serious. If you're not up for stupid sh!t, don't read it. You're a snob, and no one likes you anyway. But if you love outlandish, ridiculous, makes absolutely no sense at all, kind of books, we can be friends.
I whole-heartedly support this book.
This was like a fever dream....in the absolute best way possible! I laughed almost the entire way through this book. It was freaking incredible.
Listen, this is not a literary masterpiece. It is, however, the best satire I have ever read. And in that regard, it is an absolute masterpiece!!
Character development? Not even a little. World building? Who needs it! Logical plot development? What plot!
Breaking through the fourth wall? The fourth wall doesn't exist in this book!!
Go into this book knowing it's not that serious. Nothing is that serious. If you're not up for stupid sh!t, don't read it. You're a snob, and no one likes you anyway. But if you love outlandish, ridiculous, makes absolutely no sense at all, kind of books, we can be friends.
I whole-heartedly support this book.
June 26, 2025
This novella offered me invaluable comfort, inspiration, and insight during a dark time in my life. The author adeptly experiments with language, conjuring vivid and novel images inside of my brain-flaps. I've never read anything so harrowing.
I want to add quotes, but I'd just end up pasting the entire book. Thank you Liian for making me smile, it was like reading a cartoon. Also Brenda was written with such morbid detail and vitriol I wonder if the author was channeling real life frustrations through this character. At one point she was randomly described as having hoofs which was so fucking funny. I think my favorite character was Cheddar the Cat. Thank you again for writing the actual funniest shit I've ever read. It's brilliant
I want to add quotes, but I'd just end up pasting the entire book. Thank you Liian for making me smile, it was like reading a cartoon. Also Brenda was written with such morbid detail and vitriol I wonder if the author was channeling real life frustrations through this character. At one point she was randomly described as having hoofs which was so fucking funny. I think my favorite character was Cheddar the Cat. Thank you again for writing the actual funniest shit I've ever read. It's brilliant
August 18, 2025
A blue-as-fuck indie trainwreck that no self-respecting publisher would ever touch without bursting its fragile little blubble. The whole thing is served raw, which is fine for fish but more often than not, RILT more closely resembles chicken.
A good thing it happens to be blisteringly funny. Don't try to read or understand this madness; just fucking experience it.
Complete disassembly of Varus' lovely mess here.
A good thing it happens to be blisteringly funny. Don't try to read or understand this madness; just fucking experience it.
Complete disassembly of Varus' lovely mess here.
Read
June 16, 2025As fellow reviewer Keri accurately said- this is the VelociPastor of ‘romance’ novels 😂
I knew going into this it wouldn’t be good but I just couldn’t help myself from checking it out. A few times I questioned myself why I continued to read this silly and sometimes disturbing novella but with as short as it is I decided I needed to know how it ended, and man, plot twist I did not expect. Over all it gave the husband and I a couple of laughs, would I read it again? No.
I knew going into this it wouldn’t be good but I just couldn’t help myself from checking it out. A few times I questioned myself why I continued to read this silly and sometimes disturbing novella but with as short as it is I decided I needed to know how it ended, and man, plot twist I did not expect. Over all it gave the husband and I a couple of laughs, would I read it again? No.
June 12, 2025
I follow the author on Facebook and I bought a copy of this book to show my support. There is crude humor. The author will also chime in with his own thoughts, but I honestly expected this to be a thing.
This book is a hot mess of craziness. I frequently found myself laughing at all of the absurdity. I loved this book, it is so unhinged. I can't wait for the next one to come out.
This book is a hot mess of craziness. I frequently found myself laughing at all of the absurdity. I loved this book, it is so unhinged. I can't wait for the next one to come out.
June 14, 2025
Delightfully chaotic!
I rarely review, but I felt the need on this one. ROMANCE IS LIKE THAT is a fever dream of an erotic tale, crafted in a way that brings to mind writers like Hunter Thompson or Joseph Heller. I laughed out loud in all the wrong places and had a grand time doing it! They might have to create a new genre for this one!
I rarely review, but I felt the need on this one. ROMANCE IS LIKE THAT is a fever dream of an erotic tale, crafted in a way that brings to mind writers like Hunter Thompson or Joseph Heller. I laughed out loud in all the wrong places and had a grand time doing it! They might have to create a new genre for this one!
August 26, 2025
I pushed through to finish this but a book under 200 pages took me a week when it takes me that long for 500 plus( I have kids so don’t get much reading time). The writing was annoying to me, my personal opinion, and I just hoped it was going to get better and never did.
Again just my personal opinion. But I’ll never read this again.
Again just my personal opinion. But I’ll never read this again.
December 22, 2025
Having read some of his poetry books, I was excited to read this spoof romance novel. He's funny and some of the jokes are brilliant, but after a while it becomes too much. It rather feels like being bashed over the head with the same set of jokes over and over again. He's a brilliant poet, and the first few chapters of the book had me in stitches. It just became repetitive after a while.
May 31, 2025
I laughed so hard at how unhinged this novella is. I never knew how much I needed a satirical romance in my life. Cheddar might be my favorite character. If you can appreciate a depraved, self-loathing, descriptive, romance story... this is probably for you because reading is like that.
June 1, 2025
That was a horrible, yet amazing mess of contradictions. Did I love it? Did I hate it? Yes, no.. maybe? So I’m giving it a 3, right down the middle.
Just OMG. And the last line was just the icing on the proverbial cake.
Just OMG. And the last line was just the icing on the proverbial cake.
June 7, 2025
definitely brain rot but in a good way.
I lost IQ points reading this horrible novella. It’s amazing. 10/10 for humor. 10/10 for cringe. Definitely worth wasting 3 hours of your life to read it.
I lost IQ points reading this horrible novella. It’s amazing. 10/10 for humor. 10/10 for cringe. Definitely worth wasting 3 hours of your life to read it.
June 9, 2025
Too Funny
This is so terrifically bad! I dislike most romance novels, especially cheap trashy ones, because they are so cringe. This? Was perfect. Perfect satire. The last sentence took. me. out!
This is so terrifically bad! I dislike most romance novels, especially cheap trashy ones, because they are so cringe. This? Was perfect. Perfect satire. The last sentence took. me. out!
June 10, 2025
I don't know how to feel about this... parts were so so so funny, parts were sooo very gross, and sometimes my eyes felt violated....
very clever. but it was like watching a car accident.. it's terrible, but you can't look away.
very clever. but it was like watching a car accident.. it's terrible, but you can't look away.
June 19, 2025
This book delivered all the unhinged hilarity that I was expecting and more. I'm psyched knowing that there will be a sequel. That probably doesn't speak well for who I am as a human being. I am not the same person that I was before reading this book.
July 19, 2025
Reading is like that
This is an amazing read for people who aren't huge fans of romance yet are still slightly perverted. Humorous and full of plot holes. I loved Brenda's final form. And that last line? It was as moving as the final scene in Bug.
This is an amazing read for people who aren't huge fans of romance yet are still slightly perverted. Humorous and full of plot holes. I loved Brenda's final form. And that last line? It was as moving as the final scene in Bug.
September 2, 2025
Terribly hilarious
A terribly hilarious tale that pokes fun at romance, exposes the author as pathetic and lonely, and makes you repeat "WTF!?" while laughing. Because romance is like that.
A terribly hilarious tale that pokes fun at romance, exposes the author as pathetic and lonely, and makes you repeat "WTF!?" while laughing. Because romance is like that.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews