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Fell of Dark
A book that challenges the word "powerful" and obliterates it
Written in searing prose, this is the story of two boys: Erik, who performs miracles, and Thorn, who hears voices. The book chronicles their lives as their minds devolve into hallucinations, and shows the way their worlds intersect, culminating in a final stand-off.
This debut novel offer a raw, insightful look at the forces that compel us to act against our will. Even more so, it captivates and dares us to look away, knowing full well we can't.
Written in searing prose, this is the story of two boys: Erik, who performs miracles, and Thorn, who hears voices. The book chronicles their lives as their minds devolve into hallucinations, and shows the way their worlds intersect, culminating in a final stand-off.
This debut novel offer a raw, insightful look at the forces that compel us to act against our will. Even more so, it captivates and dares us to look away, knowing full well we can't.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published May 12, 2015
10 people are currently reading
1390 people want to read
About the author
Patrick Downes
22 books25 followersJessica Kensky and Patrick Downes are a married couple who were both injured during the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013. Jessica’s service dog, Rescue, joined their family in 2014. Jessica Kensky and Patrick Downes live in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 73 reviews
June 8, 2015
“My invisible wounds. I have no answer, no proof I bleed. But I bleed. Sure as I love my mother and you, I bleed.”
Fell of Dark is a strange book. It's incredibly well-written, cleverly using language and metaphor to portray two boys' descent into madness. And it is primarily a book that explores the characters and their situations through the use of language - whether it be fragmented sentences, powerful metaphors or single-word paragraphs.
It's one of those books that leave me torn over whether it was right to market it as a YA book. On one hand, I'm thrilled that authors are writing smart, thought-provoking books for teenagers; on the other, I find it hard to imagine most teens having the patience to sit through it. It requires something from the reader - it requires you to think. There's no possibility of cruising through this book and taking it at face value.
It's about two boys - Erik and Thorn - and features lengthy sections from their POVs at ages 14, 16 and 18. Erik, a boy who was abducted as a child shortly after his father died, addresses his narrative to his future wife:
“I remember the first time I thought of you. I was so sick, and I almost died from dehydration and a fever. I thought of you, invented you, I guess, and you bent down over me, and you kissed me, and I got better.”
Thorn is constantly abused - by his parents at home, and by the bullies at school. As well as this, he hears voices in his head, directing his actions; he calls them Sawmen, Guardians, and the Architect. Both perspectives are dark and disturbing, both difficult to read, but both incredibly effective.
I can see why the ratings for Fell of Dark are not so impressive. It's a complex read for the average adult, never mind for teenagers, and I can see why some people also wouldn't like the experimental style of the prose - but, strangely, I really did. For me, this book was haunting and atmospheric. It really demonstrates how an author can use words to create a creepy feeling of encroaching madness.
The most unsettling books about insanity, in my opinion, start with everyday events and thoughts that we all do and have. Then, gradually, they become darker, become something else. It's unsettling because it suggests that none of us are that far away from madness - not far away from the blood that only we can see, not far away from those voices that whisper awful things in our heads. It's a scary thought.
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Fell of Dark is a strange book. It's incredibly well-written, cleverly using language and metaphor to portray two boys' descent into madness. And it is primarily a book that explores the characters and their situations through the use of language - whether it be fragmented sentences, powerful metaphors or single-word paragraphs.
It's one of those books that leave me torn over whether it was right to market it as a YA book. On one hand, I'm thrilled that authors are writing smart, thought-provoking books for teenagers; on the other, I find it hard to imagine most teens having the patience to sit through it. It requires something from the reader - it requires you to think. There's no possibility of cruising through this book and taking it at face value.
It's about two boys - Erik and Thorn - and features lengthy sections from their POVs at ages 14, 16 and 18. Erik, a boy who was abducted as a child shortly after his father died, addresses his narrative to his future wife:
“I remember the first time I thought of you. I was so sick, and I almost died from dehydration and a fever. I thought of you, invented you, I guess, and you bent down over me, and you kissed me, and I got better.”
Thorn is constantly abused - by his parents at home, and by the bullies at school. As well as this, he hears voices in his head, directing his actions; he calls them Sawmen, Guardians, and the Architect. Both perspectives are dark and disturbing, both difficult to read, but both incredibly effective.
I can see why the ratings for Fell of Dark are not so impressive. It's a complex read for the average adult, never mind for teenagers, and I can see why some people also wouldn't like the experimental style of the prose - but, strangely, I really did. For me, this book was haunting and atmospheric. It really demonstrates how an author can use words to create a creepy feeling of encroaching madness.
The most unsettling books about insanity, in my opinion, start with everyday events and thoughts that we all do and have. Then, gradually, they become darker, become something else. It's unsettling because it suggests that none of us are that far away from madness - not far away from the blood that only we can see, not far away from those voices that whisper awful things in our heads. It's a scary thought.
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January 20, 2018
► Trust me, if a book can become an instant favorite and yet make me wary to recommend it, it's this one . From what I could read, the opinions are mixed (just look at the ratings) and I can't say that I don't understand why - anyway, sorry if it comes out with know it all vibes, but to me? This book deserves more praise, because it challenges yourself as a reader and delivers a complex cast of characters that I'm not likely to forget anytime soon. And if we get our new vampire or cute romance every week in the new release charts (we do), I can't find another book like this one - how powerful it is for a compliment, tell me?
"Speak only when they're something worth saying. Speak only when it's necessary. When is there anything worth saying? Can you tell me? When is it necessary?"
After reading several reviews, the complaint that emerges the most is the fact that there's no plot. With this I both agree and disagree (and now you can wrap your head in your arms and yell, because I do realize that I'm telling anything and everything with this sentence).
Yes it has no regular, well-wrapped plot, as we follow slices of life from two different narrators, Erik and Thorn, throughout several periods of times. Therefore if you expect a beginning, a middle, and a end (exposition - rising action - resolution) you'll probably end disappointed.
However, I never stopped thinking that the path that we readers followed was making sense but perhaps I'm just that sort of weird. Maybe. Boris Vian and André Breton have owned my heart all my teenage years, after all. So, who knows - surely not me.
"I wish all the voices I hear inside my head would melt down into one voice, a voice I can trust."
Nevertheless, what I do know is the fact that Fell of dark was such a gripping, compelling read that I couldn't put it down from the moment I started it, even though I only planned to steal a glance at it.
As for the writing, I found it absolutely incredible, and I'm weighing my words here. Actually, this is the kind of books that make me overjoyed to be able to read in English, because I'm not sure a translation could do justice to all the beautiful experimentations Patrick Downes uses, from the haunting metaphors to the short and even one word sentences. I loved it to pieces, as in my opinion nothing is useless and every sentence serves its purpose, whether it's to make me think or feel.
"You people. You people.
Youpeopleyoupeopleyoupeople. Cowards, every one of you. What, what, what, what keeps your legs from breaking under all the weight of your fears and lies and hatred? Human beings. I'm not one of you. I'm outside your fences. I'm running around you at the speed of light, you goddamn beasts. But you think I'm the monster."
I felt everything - every struggle the characters must face, and trust me, there're plenty. Indeed from Erik's letter to its future wife to Thorn's wanderings through the several voices spreading from his head, what Patrick Downes offers us is a poignant descent into madness that managed to break my heart and made me tearing up at the most random moment. Now, that's what I call a brilliant author, and I'm not too shy to write it : Patrick Downes, I admire you.
► To be frank, the only reason that prevented me from rating it 5 stars is the ending, which was strangely anticlimactic in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about what happened in the end, no. But the truth is, I expected another way to relate it, something else than the dialogues that left me feeling almost empty. Anyway, it's a matter of personal taste, so perhaps you'll like it more. Please tell me.
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November 22, 2016
“My bleeding’s invisible to everyone but myself. You would see, wouldn’t you?”
It's not that I greatly disliked this book. It was just freaking weird.
The story follows two mentally ill teens, Thorn and Erik. Erik thinks he's a saint meant to make the world a better place. Thorn, who hears voices, believes he's a demon. The plot focuses on the two boys' different lives that eventually collide.
“I want to stop feeling like a monster. Murderer. I want to have one voice in my head, mine.”
You know those books that you think could be good, but you just totally don't get? Fell of Dark was so strange I didn't really know what to think of it. It didn't leave any particular imprint on me, emotional or otherwise. I felt numb while I was reading it.
The main problem I had was that the plot was told entirely from Erik and Thorn's point of views, and they weren't the best storytellers. I've read from many mentally ill narratives before - My Heart and Other Black Holes was a fantastic one about depression - but Erik and Thorn's were so bizarre. They didn't make sense or explain enough about their states of mind so I felt like I was being yanked along on a whirlwind of confusion and disconnect from reality.
When Thorn's character is first introduced, he spends a few chapters telling us about how hairy he is and how he's in desperate need of a razor, but he doesn't have any money to buy one. Finally his sister takes him aside and shaves his face, using her own razor, and he starts bleeding everywhere. Besides being a weird plot point, I couldn't tell if Thorn was actually bleeding or this was a metaphor.
The whole book was this way, never making sense or explaining things well. The writing was purposely hazy and I thought a lot of detail was left out about Erik and Thorn's mental illnesses. Their narratives were cloudy and vague, and since I couldn't get a good sense of what they were going through, I was unable to sympathize with them.
Also, I wasn't a fan of the ending. The climax happened so fast and then it was just over. This book left me scratching my head and wondering what the heck I'd just read. I either missed something critical or Fell of Dark totally wasn't my cup of tea.
September 6, 2016
This book follows Erik and Thorn. They both have tragic past that has led them not connecting fully with the world and people around them. They live in their head to a certain extent. Waiting for something. We get to see them grow up and how with each passing year how their own personal burdens and others expectation's weighs them down.
First off I loved the writing it was wonderful. Poetry in motion. Hey, Cliche's are cliche's for a reason.
Both Characters have their own unique voices and each was able to draw me into their own story. This book doesn't haven much a plot which isn't a problem mainly cause the characters drive this story. Although when it came to end it I felt like having a slightly more concreate ending would have come in handy.
The Ending (I feel) In Gif Form:
I would totally recommend that everyone give this book a read.
“Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.”
― Thomas Merton
_________________________________________
I'm giving this a 4.5 Stars for now.
I'm just really conflicted right now.
About this book, life and everything else.
This book man. This book.
First off I loved the writing it was wonderful. Poetry in motion. Hey, Cliche's are cliche's for a reason.
Both Characters have their own unique voices and each was able to draw me into their own story. This book doesn't haven much a plot which isn't a problem mainly cause the characters drive this story. Although when it came to end it I felt like having a slightly more concreate ending would have come in handy.
The Ending (I feel) In Gif Form:
I would totally recommend that everyone give this book a read.
“Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.”
― Thomas Merton
_________________________________________
I'm giving this a 4.5 Stars for now.
I'm just really conflicted right now.
About this book, life and everything else.
This book man. This book.
January 18, 2016
To be certain, my favorite books are the ones I admire first for the prose. If the story is true, if it speaks to some place in me that gasps, the pleasure is doubled. I both admire and gasp in the grip of Fell of Dark. While this debut novel is sure to cause a stir among reviewers, this reader is honored to place it on her "books to keep" shelf. And for what it's worth, which is probably a lot, my seventeen-year-old daughter read it in one afternoon and she hasn't been able to get past Chapter One of most of the YA fluff-stuff out there.
November 19, 2017
Beautiful writing but I feel like it kind of fell apart at its seams.
May 9, 2020
This was ok...good ideas, but not much to it. Honestly I sadly don't have to much to say about this. It was just kind of "meh".
May 27, 2015
Haunting and raw. This is the kind of prose that gets under your skin. I loved it, but I had to read it in small doses - anything else it would've been too much. The writing has that much force. Remarkable. Highly recommended.
May 7, 2015
Fell of Dark is a book that I will never forget. I will say right off the bat that it is not for everybody. The chapters at first feel like a lot of mindless rambling, but if you read deeper into the story and let the words pull you in magic happens.
This is story is told from two point of views, Eriks' and Thorns'. Their voices couldn't be more different, but they have something huge in common. I am not sure what type of mental issue they both have, but they both seemed to share a common mental illness that completely broke my heart.
We get to hear from Erik first and his back story and if I read correctly was horrible. We the reader get to see into his mind a little and we get to see certain scenes that he remembers only we don't get any explanation as to what really happened. It's not hard though to figure out what he went through and again my heart completely broke for him. He was such an interesting character that just knowing what might have happened in that garage made me want to help him.
Thorns' part in this was very chaotic and I wasn't sure exactly what was real and what wasn't. The author did an amazing job at showing what goes on in the mind of somebody who has a mental illness. I don't want to say what I think because A I could be completely wrong and B I think everyone will have a different opinion and I don't want to ruin it for others. I just will say that from reading his point of view I really want to delve more into this type of mind.
I think some will find this book strange, but I really hope most will find it amazing like I did. I appreciated the way the author chose to tell this story and I had goosebumps by the end. This isn't rambling, this is a story about struggles and how hard it is to live with certain things that you can't help. At first it was a little hard to dive in, but it didn't take me long at all to see where the author wanted to take me.
One other thing I have to mention is the writing. This author is completely new to me so I wasn't sure what to expect, but his prose is one of the best I have read. It is deep, beautiful, and haunting. I am not sure if this story would have worked without his prose and writing style. Erik and Thorn came alive with his words and it was beautiful even with the disaster that occurred.
This is story is told from two point of views, Eriks' and Thorns'. Their voices couldn't be more different, but they have something huge in common. I am not sure what type of mental issue they both have, but they both seemed to share a common mental illness that completely broke my heart.
We get to hear from Erik first and his back story and if I read correctly was horrible. We the reader get to see into his mind a little and we get to see certain scenes that he remembers only we don't get any explanation as to what really happened. It's not hard though to figure out what he went through and again my heart completely broke for him. He was such an interesting character that just knowing what might have happened in that garage made me want to help him.
Thorns' part in this was very chaotic and I wasn't sure exactly what was real and what wasn't. The author did an amazing job at showing what goes on in the mind of somebody who has a mental illness. I don't want to say what I think because A I could be completely wrong and B I think everyone will have a different opinion and I don't want to ruin it for others. I just will say that from reading his point of view I really want to delve more into this type of mind.
I think some will find this book strange, but I really hope most will find it amazing like I did. I appreciated the way the author chose to tell this story and I had goosebumps by the end. This isn't rambling, this is a story about struggles and how hard it is to live with certain things that you can't help. At first it was a little hard to dive in, but it didn't take me long at all to see where the author wanted to take me.
One other thing I have to mention is the writing. This author is completely new to me so I wasn't sure what to expect, but his prose is one of the best I have read. It is deep, beautiful, and haunting. I am not sure if this story would have worked without his prose and writing style. Erik and Thorn came alive with his words and it was beautiful even with the disaster that occurred.
June 3, 2015
This novel for teens is told in two voices, Erik and Thorn. Both boys are mentally ill and struggling with what they see and hear. Erik believes that he is a saint, able to do miracles like having a picked flower that never dies and the sign of a cross formed by his wet body that never evaporates. Erik is silent on the outside but constantly thinking on the inside. His hands bleed with stigmata and he sees things that no one else can. Erik searches for a girl he knows is his destiny. Thorn is haunted by the voices in his head, ones that push him to do things that he would never do otherwise. If he doesn’t submit to the voices, he gets horrible headaches that he barely withstands. As the voices grow more powerful and insistent, Thorn finds that he needs them more and more to make sense of his life. But what he sees as the solution may just be final step in his insanity when his path crosses Erik’s.
Downes has written a beautiful and dark mess of a book where madness lurks everywhere and nothing is quite what it seems, or is it? Woven into it are moments of coherence, times of loving families that turn brutal and cruel eventually. There are moments of love, barely seen through mental illness and still glowing and true. And then there is the insanity itself that winds around, crouches low and threatens everything. It’s impossible to tease apart what is reality and what is delusion until another perspective enters their world and tilts it on its axis.
The voices of the two boys dance together and blur, at times they are indistinguishable from one another and other times they are so distinct that they pierce with individuality. This too is masterfully done, the perspectives are unique and troubling. The two boys are writhing with their inner pain, but in two very different ways. The language is superlative, filled with darkness and horror and also a deep beauty that can’t be mistaken. There are images that dance in that darkness, ones that open it up and let in light and others that close it in so tight you can’t breathe.
Riveting reading, this book is not for everyone. Teens who enjoy a journey into a different haunting perspective will find themselves captured by the writing and the characters in this novel. Appropriate for ages 14-17.
Downes has written a beautiful and dark mess of a book where madness lurks everywhere and nothing is quite what it seems, or is it? Woven into it are moments of coherence, times of loving families that turn brutal and cruel eventually. There are moments of love, barely seen through mental illness and still glowing and true. And then there is the insanity itself that winds around, crouches low and threatens everything. It’s impossible to tease apart what is reality and what is delusion until another perspective enters their world and tilts it on its axis.
The voices of the two boys dance together and blur, at times they are indistinguishable from one another and other times they are so distinct that they pierce with individuality. This too is masterfully done, the perspectives are unique and troubling. The two boys are writhing with their inner pain, but in two very different ways. The language is superlative, filled with darkness and horror and also a deep beauty that can’t be mistaken. There are images that dance in that darkness, ones that open it up and let in light and others that close it in so tight you can’t breathe.
Riveting reading, this book is not for everyone. Teens who enjoy a journey into a different haunting perspective will find themselves captured by the writing and the characters in this novel. Appropriate for ages 14-17.
April 8, 2015
This is a short book and the language is not too hard for young adult readers to understand, in fact some of the prose reads like poetry. Downes is actually a decent writer in so far as his writing goes.
But as for the plot, I found it extremely wanting. In fact, there really isn't much of a plot. But I found the imagery and prose to be entertaining enough to continue reading. Towards the end of the book I really became more interested as the two characters spiraled towards their destiny with fate. And then that was it. As soon as they came together it was over and I was left disappointed. It almost read like a Reader's Digest of a Reader's Digest. Maybe I am just a picky reader but I wanted more. I'll pass the book along to another reader.
But as for the plot, I found it extremely wanting. In fact, there really isn't much of a plot. But I found the imagery and prose to be entertaining enough to continue reading. Towards the end of the book I really became more interested as the two characters spiraled towards their destiny with fate. And then that was it. As soon as they came together it was over and I was left disappointed. It almost read like a Reader's Digest of a Reader's Digest. Maybe I am just a picky reader but I wanted more. I'll pass the book along to another reader.
October 11, 2019
I will not be reading this book because I get scared easily. I entered the giveaway by mistake and won. Oops. I will give this to someone else in the hopes that they like it. But this will count as my review so I can still win giveaways. The premise sounds interesting, but too scary.
July 19, 2015
*2.75 stars*
Weirdly fascinating.
When two crazy minds blend together,
All there is left,
Is chaos.
Weirdly fascinating.
When two crazy minds blend together,
All there is left,
Is chaos.
July 7, 2015
What a mindscrew, but in a good, deeply unsettling way. I don't know to whom I would recommend this book, but I can imagine it being considered for awards due to its complex writing.
May 22, 2015
23281754
Amazon / Goodreads
A book that challenges the word "powerful" and obliterates it
Written in searing prose, this is the story of two boys: Erik, who performs miracles, and Thorn, who hears voices. The book chronicles their lives as their minds devolve into hallucinations, and shows the way their worlds intersect, culminating in a final stand-off.
This debut novel offer a raw, insightful look at the forces that compel us to act against our will. Even more so, it captivates and dares us to look away, knowing full well we can't.
I just...I don't even know what to say.
Whoa.
*This will be a short review.*
The two main characters were the best and strongest points. They were fascinating. Perhaps creepily so.
Erik made miracles. I didn't see that, though. Where are the miracles? Where? I didn't read miracles happening. I wanted what I was promised. That's all I ask for. I felt like there should have been something else. Something more. And when did he make his lovely girlfriend like him? Or push him away? With the double perspective, it can be harder to show all that happens. We get certain parts of their lives. That is simply a problem for me because I get left out of the loop. Erik could have been better. Given him some more personality. He was locked in this vicious cycle where he would just take the pain and talk about 'you'. He believed that he would be a husband in the future and married to a girl he never met. While I his dreaming, I didn't expect it to happen.
Thorn was controlled by the voices. The Sawmen. The Guardians. The Architect. I thought he was hearing things. That HE was causing pain upon himself. Which might make sense if the Architect didn't enter his body. (I'm still confused about that.) He thought his parents were demons, and perhaps parents are. (But that would mean all future parents are demons as well. Especially since Thorn thought it was appropriate to cut off the demon-ness at the source--when you are young.) I don't think that's entirely right. It's an odd way of thinking. That just means babies are evil before they are evil. Doesn't make too much sense to me.
Is what made these two special just a lie? Are they just in an insane asylum pretending this happened? (Credit to my friend for that reasoning.) It made no sense to me. I could just not understand this. That might be it.
The plot was a mess. I don't even want to try to comprehend the mess that is the plot. It was too confusing. So much happened. Since the story seemed to be told in little chunks, I hoped for little battles of the mind or something. That's not what I got. I ended up with two very confusing perspectives that didn't do much. The little chunks described random thoughts and happenings. It wasn't much. There wasn't much plot.
It wasn't until the end that the two met. And that didn't seem right to me since we were promised a meeting in the premise. I felt like there was too much on both their sides.
The ending was...confusing as well. What happened? Why the guns? Is there a rhyme or reason for any of this? I didn't find it if there is. There was no reason for Thorn to even meet Erik. Unless persuaded by someone else, Thorn would have never met Erik. I thought they would meet at school or something. But no. They randomly met in a park. What compelled Erik to be there? Fate? I don't think so!
The afterword was bittersweet. That afterword was good for me. I liked it. It made no sense with the story, though. What do little kids playing have anything to do with Erik and Thorn? I'm not sure.
This story was a whole bunch of 'I don't know's. And a lot of confusion. I couldn't understand the story. That's maybe the first thing. I didn't understand. I couldn't. Some might be able to understand. I didn't. That's simply it.
Weather:
Sunny with a 80% chance of rain
2/5
Amazon / Goodreads
A book that challenges the word "powerful" and obliterates it
Written in searing prose, this is the story of two boys: Erik, who performs miracles, and Thorn, who hears voices. The book chronicles their lives as their minds devolve into hallucinations, and shows the way their worlds intersect, culminating in a final stand-off.
This debut novel offer a raw, insightful look at the forces that compel us to act against our will. Even more so, it captivates and dares us to look away, knowing full well we can't.
I just...I don't even know what to say.
Whoa.
*This will be a short review.*
The two main characters were the best and strongest points. They were fascinating. Perhaps creepily so.
Erik made miracles. I didn't see that, though. Where are the miracles? Where? I didn't read miracles happening. I wanted what I was promised. That's all I ask for. I felt like there should have been something else. Something more. And when did he make his lovely girlfriend like him? Or push him away? With the double perspective, it can be harder to show all that happens. We get certain parts of their lives. That is simply a problem for me because I get left out of the loop. Erik could have been better. Given him some more personality. He was locked in this vicious cycle where he would just take the pain and talk about 'you'. He believed that he would be a husband in the future and married to a girl he never met. While I his dreaming, I didn't expect it to happen.
Thorn was controlled by the voices. The Sawmen. The Guardians. The Architect. I thought he was hearing things. That HE was causing pain upon himself. Which might make sense if the Architect didn't enter his body. (I'm still confused about that.) He thought his parents were demons, and perhaps parents are. (But that would mean all future parents are demons as well. Especially since Thorn thought it was appropriate to cut off the demon-ness at the source--when you are young.) I don't think that's entirely right. It's an odd way of thinking. That just means babies are evil before they are evil. Doesn't make too much sense to me.
Is what made these two special just a lie? Are they just in an insane asylum pretending this happened? (Credit to my friend for that reasoning.) It made no sense to me. I could just not understand this. That might be it.
The plot was a mess. I don't even want to try to comprehend the mess that is the plot. It was too confusing. So much happened. Since the story seemed to be told in little chunks, I hoped for little battles of the mind or something. That's not what I got. I ended up with two very confusing perspectives that didn't do much. The little chunks described random thoughts and happenings. It wasn't much. There wasn't much plot.
It wasn't until the end that the two met. And that didn't seem right to me since we were promised a meeting in the premise. I felt like there was too much on both their sides.
The ending was...confusing as well. What happened? Why the guns? Is there a rhyme or reason for any of this? I didn't find it if there is. There was no reason for Thorn to even meet Erik. Unless persuaded by someone else, Thorn would have never met Erik. I thought they would meet at school or something. But no. They randomly met in a park. What compelled Erik to be there? Fate? I don't think so!
The afterword was bittersweet. That afterword was good for me. I liked it. It made no sense with the story, though. What do little kids playing have anything to do with Erik and Thorn? I'm not sure.
This story was a whole bunch of 'I don't know's. And a lot of confusion. I couldn't understand the story. That's maybe the first thing. I didn't understand. I couldn't. Some might be able to understand. I didn't. That's simply it.
Weather:
Sunny with a 80% chance of rain
2/5
January 13, 2015
This review contains spoilers.
I received this book as an ARC from the publisher. Here's the rundown: The story revolves around two mentally ill boys, Erik and Thorn.
Erik searches for his purpose and his true love. He bleeds like Jesus from his scalp, wrists and ankles, but only he can see it. He believes he has a destiny. He ponders, "why do I bleed if not for something big and rare."
Thorn has been hurt. Many times. First by the death of his sister, then his broken parents, and then by the demons of his own psyche. He tries to fight them off, but the Architect, the Sawmen, the Guardians take over. He tries to resist, even tries to go for help, but ends up worse off than before. Finally, he succumbs to the words of the Architect: "Torturers, rapists, liars, cheats and cowards. Your parents. Men with cinder blocks and cars with guns. These, too, every one of them comes from children...Kill the children," and prepares to kill and then end his life.
But Erik is a "a hero searching for disaster. A martyr searching for {his} holy death." And he finds that purpose just on time.
Downes weaves the two boys closer and closer together for a thunderous and breathtaking conclusion. But that isn't the only breathtaking part of the book. The words themselves, the turns of phrase, the characters and their depth are well worth savoring. It's rendered with such depth and authenticity that it leaves you with the longing to hug the killer as much as the saint. In short, heartbreaking and revelatory.
I received this book as an ARC from the publisher. Here's the rundown: The story revolves around two mentally ill boys, Erik and Thorn.
Erik searches for his purpose and his true love. He bleeds like Jesus from his scalp, wrists and ankles, but only he can see it. He believes he has a destiny. He ponders, "why do I bleed if not for something big and rare."
Thorn has been hurt. Many times. First by the death of his sister, then his broken parents, and then by the demons of his own psyche. He tries to fight them off, but the Architect, the Sawmen, the Guardians take over. He tries to resist, even tries to go for help, but ends up worse off than before. Finally, he succumbs to the words of the Architect: "Torturers, rapists, liars, cheats and cowards. Your parents. Men with cinder blocks and cars with guns. These, too, every one of them comes from children...Kill the children," and prepares to kill and then end his life.
But Erik is a "a hero searching for disaster. A martyr searching for {his} holy death." And he finds that purpose just on time.
Downes weaves the two boys closer and closer together for a thunderous and breathtaking conclusion. But that isn't the only breathtaking part of the book. The words themselves, the turns of phrase, the characters and their depth are well worth savoring. It's rendered with such depth and authenticity that it leaves you with the longing to hug the killer as much as the saint. In short, heartbreaking and revelatory.
April 14, 2015
This book was a challenge. Downes has written a YA book so literary that it's almost an experiment, weaving two gauzy, dreamlike accounts of two mentally ill teenagers into a fated collision. The book is slim, and does no hand-holding; everything is in the brief, tragic words of Erik and Thorn, and the reader is left to their own conclusions about what was real and what was imagined in the lives of these two boys.
Things were so unmoored in this book that I honestly didn't feel smart enough to read it, and kept the whole thing at an intellectual arm's length. Still, the prose and form is lyrical and beautiful and disturbing, and the ending is worth the fever-dream journey. A fascinating little challenge of a book that will reward the patient, introspective reader.
Things were so unmoored in this book that I honestly didn't feel smart enough to read it, and kept the whole thing at an intellectual arm's length. Still, the prose and form is lyrical and beautiful and disturbing, and the ending is worth the fever-dream journey. A fascinating little challenge of a book that will reward the patient, introspective reader.
April 11, 2015
This book is really incredible. I'm not really sure how to describe how this book made me feel, but there were so many points throughout the book that I related to. You really feel like you are inside of the boys heads, and that you know their intimate thoughts. And even though the main characters suffer from various mental illnesses, there were many points throughout the book that I could relate to. Many of the thoughts the boys expressed I had felt before, which is something I really love in a book. It is a small book, and yet is really thought provoking. I absolutely love it.
August 17, 2019
Three stars.
June 11, 2018
ERIK
"I’m a hero in search of a disaster. I’m a martyr waiting for my holy death."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
THORN
"I am a devastation. I have suffered to become a suffering."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
==============================================================
This whole book is painful to read.
From the very start it was obvious that both Erik and Thorn are choked by their own delusions. Erik's was a dull throbbing wound which did not stop bleeding, Thorn's was the cracking sound of bones and screams.
ERIK
"LAST NIGHT, I WENT to sleep with a headache, and I had a dream you rode up to me on a bicycle. I couldn’t make out your face, but I knew it was you. Your bicycle was like my father’s, except your basket was more girly, woven out of willow or something. You put your hands on my head and said, “I wish I could take away the pain.”
“You could make it snow,” I said, “or get me a new head.”
You laughed, and the snow came."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"My invisible wounds. I have no answer, no proof I bleed. But I bleed. Sure as I love my mother and you, I bleed."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
Erik's life is painful to speak of. His father died when he was five, something bad happened to him when he was still a child, and he began to hear and see delusions when he was around eight. Delusions in which he believed he could perform miracles and that he was meant for greater purpose before he died.
Between Erik's and Thorn's voices, I prefer his because of how beautiful it sounded at times. He coped with his thoughts by writing a letter addressed to "you" who was supposedly his soulmate he hadn't met yet. It was a completely bonkers business. Sometimes the letters were much too intimate and lonely to be read at all.
THORN
"I DON’T THINK I have a soul. It was beaten out of me. Maybe it’s gone entirely. Or hovering, half alive, hovering close. Maybe it wants to come back. What if my soul wants to find a way back in? When it’s safe."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"I don’t always know who speaks for me or out of me. I am many."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"VOICES IN MY HEAD. Growls and grunts and whining saws."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
Even though I like Erik's voice better, it's Thorn's voice I can relate more. Thorn lived almost his whole life as an object of his parents' anger. His house was so graphically abusive I hurt for him the whole time. His voice was confusing but perhaps it was due to the many voices he heard inside his head. His words were baffling, choppy, repetitive.
Like Erik, he began hearing voices since he was young. It was his only way to cope, yet at the same time, the punishment he thought he deserved. He thought his parents were demons, he thought the voices inside his head were demons, he thought he was the demon.
There is no plot whatsoever in this book, so if you're looking for one, don't pick up this book. It focuses more to give you a glimpse of how madness makes you feel vulnerable and helpless. The author does a fantastic job in describing the delusions. They all seem so real and confusing, like something you see inside a dream: terrifying, fuzzy around the edges.
They only meet each other in one chapter, so if you're looking for an action-packed showdown, don't pick up this book. This book is, in fact, more like a character study. Surreal coming-of-age story of sorts. There are only problems and no solutions.
The proses are crazy beautiful. Once or twice I found myself so sad over their lives because I wanted them to be happy. They're absolutely a pair of unforgettable character.
My most favorite quote though:
"SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE, when I’m older, I will know you, my true love, at first sight. People won’t believe me. They’ll call me crazy or, worse, stupid. You’ll look at me right away as if you own me. You’ll look at me with some mixture of love, kindness, gentleness, and whatever else a woman has in her eyes when she looks at her true love. Then we’ll decide to take a walk together, and on the walk, you’ll say, “I can’t believe I found you.""
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"I’m a hero in search of a disaster. I’m a martyr waiting for my holy death."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
THORN
"I am a devastation. I have suffered to become a suffering."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
==============================================================
This whole book is painful to read.
From the very start it was obvious that both Erik and Thorn are choked by their own delusions. Erik's was a dull throbbing wound which did not stop bleeding, Thorn's was the cracking sound of bones and screams.
ERIK
"LAST NIGHT, I WENT to sleep with a headache, and I had a dream you rode up to me on a bicycle. I couldn’t make out your face, but I knew it was you. Your bicycle was like my father’s, except your basket was more girly, woven out of willow or something. You put your hands on my head and said, “I wish I could take away the pain.”
“You could make it snow,” I said, “or get me a new head.”
You laughed, and the snow came."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"My invisible wounds. I have no answer, no proof I bleed. But I bleed. Sure as I love my mother and you, I bleed."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
Erik's life is painful to speak of. His father died when he was five, something bad happened to him when he was still a child, and he began to hear and see delusions when he was around eight. Delusions in which he believed he could perform miracles and that he was meant for greater purpose before he died.
Between Erik's and Thorn's voices, I prefer his because of how beautiful it sounded at times. He coped with his thoughts by writing a letter addressed to "you" who was supposedly his soulmate he hadn't met yet. It was a completely bonkers business. Sometimes the letters were much too intimate and lonely to be read at all.
THORN
"I DON’T THINK I have a soul. It was beaten out of me. Maybe it’s gone entirely. Or hovering, half alive, hovering close. Maybe it wants to come back. What if my soul wants to find a way back in? When it’s safe."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"I don’t always know who speaks for me or out of me. I am many."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
"VOICES IN MY HEAD. Growls and grunts and whining saws."
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
Even though I like Erik's voice better, it's Thorn's voice I can relate more. Thorn lived almost his whole life as an object of his parents' anger. His house was so graphically abusive I hurt for him the whole time. His voice was confusing but perhaps it was due to the many voices he heard inside his head. His words were baffling, choppy, repetitive.
Like Erik, he began hearing voices since he was young. It was his only way to cope, yet at the same time, the punishment he thought he deserved. He thought his parents were demons, he thought the voices inside his head were demons, he thought he was the demon.
There is no plot whatsoever in this book, so if you're looking for one, don't pick up this book. It focuses more to give you a glimpse of how madness makes you feel vulnerable and helpless. The author does a fantastic job in describing the delusions. They all seem so real and confusing, like something you see inside a dream: terrifying, fuzzy around the edges.
They only meet each other in one chapter, so if you're looking for an action-packed showdown, don't pick up this book. This book is, in fact, more like a character study. Surreal coming-of-age story of sorts. There are only problems and no solutions.
The proses are crazy beautiful. Once or twice I found myself so sad over their lives because I wanted them to be happy. They're absolutely a pair of unforgettable character.
My most favorite quote though:
"SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE, when I’m older, I will know you, my true love, at first sight. People won’t believe me. They’ll call me crazy or, worse, stupid. You’ll look at me right away as if you own me. You’ll look at me with some mixture of love, kindness, gentleness, and whatever else a woman has in her eyes when she looks at her true love. Then we’ll decide to take a walk together, and on the walk, you’ll say, “I can’t believe I found you.""
--- Patrick Downes, Fell of Dark
March 20, 2018
Part religious references, part mental illness, part patriarchal, and a whole lot of very short sentences.
I read this book ready for a dark YA read, but came out feeling as if I watched a religious themed art film with no redeeming end.
I really disliked this book when I hit the halfway mark. It reminded me of a short story a professor told me didn’t make any sense.
I partly wish this book was edited to be shorter and sold instead as an adult prose piece about mental health.
Reading more context about Patrick Downes and his life definitely helped me understand the dark themes.
I read this book ready for a dark YA read, but came out feeling as if I watched a religious themed art film with no redeeming end.
I really disliked this book when I hit the halfway mark. It reminded me of a short story a professor told me didn’t make any sense.
I partly wish this book was edited to be shorter and sold instead as an adult prose piece about mental health.
Reading more context about Patrick Downes and his life definitely helped me understand the dark themes.
May 30, 2018
I gave this book two stars just because I had a difficult time
Getting into the writing and story and or point that was shared.
I believe this author is very talented in his writing and poetry but
I just felt lost with eriks life story and thorns life story and
That somehow these two lives collide and I just don't understand
The end of these two very dark and troubled minds collide, perhaps
In the story I missed how.
I don't think it was a bad book just not a genre for me.
Getting into the writing and story and or point that was shared.
I believe this author is very talented in his writing and poetry but
I just felt lost with eriks life story and thorns life story and
That somehow these two lives collide and I just don't understand
The end of these two very dark and troubled minds collide, perhaps
In the story I missed how.
I don't think it was a bad book just not a genre for me.
March 30, 2025
What the fuck did I just read? It was so confusing and so much like some twisted internal monologues. It did a good job of making two separate characters but who they were? Even if they fully explored that I am still left utterly confused. So much and so little happened and I am not sure I will ever get closure.
May 9, 2020
This book was very dark, very twisted, and just tragic. We see the slow progression into a form of "insanity" and the circumstances that cause it. I definitely would not reccomend this book to everyone, but those that appreciate it truly will.
November 7, 2021
Honestly can't even remember why I bought this book, but so glad I did. Definitely worth the read.
May 3, 2022
Over all a very beautifully written book. Very poetic. I honestly did not expect the ending at all. Maybe a little heavy-handed but the beauty made it forgivable.
December 3, 2022
Kind of dark, not sure how I felt about the ending, profoundly written
December 26, 2022
An unflinching portrait of delusion and its effects. Powerful and moving.
July 19, 2015
Fell of dark is a morbidly intriguing novel that I think I would have been better off reading in small doses rather than all in one sitting. Or maybe, I would have been better not picking this one up at all.
Honestly, I didn't know what to expect when I first started reading this book. The summary is purposefully vague, but I feel the need to clear this up just in case you're wondering: There is no magic in this book. There's only darkness, ambiguity, voices, and personal demons to be found in Fell of Dark pages. And another thing, there's also a lack of a true plot. As with most literary novels, this is strictly a character driven novel told from the alternating POV's from two boys, Erik and Thorn, and it showcases their spiraling descent to madness.
The writing in Fell of Dark is quite creative. Patrick Downes uniquely personalizes Erik and Thorn's narration, yet both of their story is told in a way to amplify and reflect their maddening thoughts and fractured personalities. So what you will find is that this novel doesn't really read anything like a novel. It's darkly poetic, yet it has no real rhyme or rhythm to it. It's confusing and at times makes hardly any sense. For instance, out of the blue Erik says that he is an otter and then proceeds to discuss the types of foods he likes and how those dishes stands up to other various favorites of his. The topics tend to jump around like that a lot, and I understand what Mr. Downes is trying to convey by taking you into the jumbled thoughts of the narrator, but I found it increasingly hard to steady my interest and really become attach to the story and the characters, which I think is important for any novel but especially for character driven novels.
The ending also didn't sit well with me. So much of it was unexplained, and just haphazardly thrown together, and just like the characters, it didn't make any sense. Some questions I had were: How did Erik and Thorn's paths cross? How did they know where to meet, and who they were going to meet, and then what to do when they met each other? I was left to my own assumptions, and what I came up with was: perhaps their ending, which lacked a sense of a realistic quality to it, was a reflection of their loss of reality in their own minds? Of course, I can't be entirely sure, but overall I thought the ending was a slippery mess, which hacked away at the stars, leaving only one left.
While I understand how many see this as a thought-provoking read, and to an extent I definitely agree (it certainly has a psychological feel to it) because it takes you into a mind that turns the world inside out, suffocating the real world under an ocean of mental instability and mania, but in essence that was precisely why I couldn't connect with this novel. Because their was no reality, no explanation, no sense or reasoning, nothing real was presented in this book to make this a meaningful read to me. This really is a twisted, borderline creepy novel, that I guess most either will love or hate, and although I gave this book one star, I think I fall somewhere along the middle of meh.
Honestly, I didn't know what to expect when I first started reading this book. The summary is purposefully vague, but I feel the need to clear this up just in case you're wondering: There is no magic in this book. There's only darkness, ambiguity, voices, and personal demons to be found in Fell of Dark pages. And another thing, there's also a lack of a true plot. As with most literary novels, this is strictly a character driven novel told from the alternating POV's from two boys, Erik and Thorn, and it showcases their spiraling descent to madness.
The writing in Fell of Dark is quite creative. Patrick Downes uniquely personalizes Erik and Thorn's narration, yet both of their story is told in a way to amplify and reflect their maddening thoughts and fractured personalities. So what you will find is that this novel doesn't really read anything like a novel. It's darkly poetic, yet it has no real rhyme or rhythm to it. It's confusing and at times makes hardly any sense. For instance, out of the blue Erik says that he is an otter and then proceeds to discuss the types of foods he likes and how those dishes stands up to other various favorites of his. The topics tend to jump around like that a lot, and I understand what Mr. Downes is trying to convey by taking you into the jumbled thoughts of the narrator, but I found it increasingly hard to steady my interest and really become attach to the story and the characters, which I think is important for any novel but especially for character driven novels.
The ending also didn't sit well with me. So much of it was unexplained, and just haphazardly thrown together, and just like the characters, it didn't make any sense. Some questions I had were: How did Erik and Thorn's paths cross? How did they know where to meet, and who they were going to meet, and then what to do when they met each other? I was left to my own assumptions, and what I came up with was: perhaps their ending, which lacked a sense of a realistic quality to it, was a reflection of their loss of reality in their own minds? Of course, I can't be entirely sure, but overall I thought the ending was a slippery mess, which hacked away at the stars, leaving only one left.
While I understand how many see this as a thought-provoking read, and to an extent I definitely agree (it certainly has a psychological feel to it) because it takes you into a mind that turns the world inside out, suffocating the real world under an ocean of mental instability and mania, but in essence that was precisely why I couldn't connect with this novel. Because their was no reality, no explanation, no sense or reasoning, nothing real was presented in this book to make this a meaningful read to me. This really is a twisted, borderline creepy novel, that I guess most either will love or hate, and although I gave this book one star, I think I fall somewhere along the middle of meh.
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