This book has been a psychological survival manual for me. I will always be indebted to Fromm for providing me with a way to hold on to hope in the spiritual progress of the human experiment in what is often a spiritually barren world. After all, without that hope, life doesn't really amount to much, despite all the rewards, recognition and shiny trinkets one might hoard to shore up against facing one's emptiness. He's given me better arguments than I could have forged on my own against falling into spiritual despair in the face of a world that often seems... inhuman. I guess I just didn't have the kind of insane courage to hope against all hope that is required in order to look for those arguments. You need that kind of courage, and people possessing it, in order to defend the claims of the human spirit in a civilization built upon making these seem irrelevant, even ridiculous.
Perhaps the heart of Fromm's vision in this book can be summed up thus: “The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself; indeed, we should be fully born when we die - although it is the tragic fate of most individuals to die before they are born.” This work is ultimately about the core tension that patterns the developmental struggle most of us likely experience, and namely, the tension between the requirements of our full unfolding, on the one hand, and the requirements ill-fitting and culturally-reproduced identity-construals place on us, on the other. The question, as we experience it within current cultural limitations, is not, nor can ever be, one of finding ways to full psychological realization (ie, being fully born), but one of minimizing the psychological mutilation we suffer in trying to adapt to barely adaptive cultural constructs. It is, in Fromm's words, a question of ways to postpone death before birth.
At critical junctures in my life, when I was tempted to just cave in, to make the life struggle a little easier to bear by amputating inconvenient parts of myself in order to more smoothly fall into line with the requirements of the world, I could actually fall back on his arguments, and find thereby, again and again, a renewal of the will to persist in the struggle to protect the claims of my better self. For it is invariably the claims of this better self, with its incessant nagging somewhere at the back of our minds, clamouring as it does for space to stretch and grow, that we're often persuaded require junking for easy peace of mind. (Why is it always that the situation is so rigged that in order to succeed, we must set the most vital parts of ourselves ablaze on the pyre of society?)
The two idols that most compel the sacrifice are Success and our need for Belonging. The former persuades us that if we are to succeed in the world, we must take the axe and ruthlessly chop off everything that doesn't fit into the pre-established slot that we're aiming to fill. With our Selves, that is. And if we manage to muster the endurance to sustain the suffering and privation that inevitably beset any who try and sidestep this idol, the more pressing claims of our own spirit to find belonging and fulfillment in a community of others in the end get us. The wisdom here is that should we stubbornly persist in clinging to this higher self's claims, we will pay the price in isolation. This is a hard price to pay for any human being.
Now the admittedly risky alternative of looking into recovering the deeper meaning of Success and Community Belonging is not usually recognized. Fromm acts as the Socratic gadfly by urging us to undertake just such a recovery and rethinking of the fundamental values of human life. When something inside you is nagging at you that something vital is “missing” in life, he urges you not to despair if you find no outer echo for that longing in the convenience-store-world that you see around you. We've surely all been in this dark pit at some point in our developmental struggle, and we fall there precisely in our most mundane, workaday moments while faced with the neon candy bar glare of store windows. It is hard to believe in the face of this gross matter-of-factness that we have a higher self that we should be true to. There just seems to be no room for that in this world. And the conversations with people are perhaps the most sadly alienating of all. Any notion of a higher life making claims on us seems nothing more than a wispy fantasy. The world that you see takes you so far from your most vibrantly revelatory instincts into reality. The discovery that the values that represent the highest human reality are not necessarily the values that you see reflected around you in your current socio-cultural environment is deeply disorienting. It's a Twilight Zone sort of feeling. I feel tremendous sympathy for kids, who have yet to experience the shock, the strange sense of vertigo that this grim discovery brings.
Fromm's work is at its most empowering when it asks us to side with that tenuous intuition that "there is more to life than this." He reminds us in so many ways that a community that requires that you junk your developmental requirements and places spiritual amputation as a prerequisite for participation is not worth aspiring to enter. The meaningful participation you yearn for is unattainable, anyhow, to spiritual amputees. Your real Community is the community of individuals who share with you an understanding of the values that accurately reflect and sustain human unfolding. And your real Success is your capacity to sustain the courage and the hope to stand by the claims of your own better self, and to as best as you can, try to live by them in however circumscribed a sphere you happen to have your being in. Without a sustained link to our higher self, there can be no authentic success, belonging, not to mention love or sense of meaning. In this, Fromm recalls Kierkegaard subversive insight into the real meaning of success: “The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss – an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc.- is sure to be noticed.” This alone can occasion a possibly life-changing perspective shift.
That a view is widespread or held in high regard in a culture is no proof of its substantiveness. In his most audacious move yet, Fromm shows how the conditions of social life in a given locale may well include ignorance, vice, and collective pathology:
“The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.”
So much for orienting ourselves by culturally-coded measures of the real.
So we're tasked to go back to the beginnings of things, as unburdened by the clutter of so much cultural dead-weight as we can make ourselves, and rethink the fundamental meanings on which we build our lives. Fromm's work, whatever its failures, does help us take a step in that direction. And it is liberating work. Rethinking, as a culture, the meaning of Love, Community, Reason, Success, Wisdom, is liberating work. And in it lies, he argues, psychology's proper task and greatest gift to human culture. Fromm persuades us that the proper subject and goal of psychology must be protecting man's higher nature against the distortive identity-constructs our societies would have us cram our selves into.
“It is the task of the "science of man" to arrive eventually at a correct description of what deserves to be called human nature. What has often been called "human nature" is but one of its many manifestations - and often a pathological one - and the function of such mistaken definition usually has been to defend a particular type of society as being the necessary one.”
The great cultural tragedy of our day is that whatever of human rightful unfolding we can salvage, it is inevitably circumscribed to the private, perhaps even the merely subjective domains. A humane education of the spirit such as his work encourages can go a long way to securing inner freedom, and perhaps, some modicum of authentic freedom and meaningful participation within the social micro-unit of the family (though the latter, too, is being junked on the altar of our two chosen gods, Economy and Technology). But it alone cannot provide us with the ultimate fulfillment that only meaningful work towards a common good can provide. How this primal sense of polity and community is to be restored is one of the big questions of our time. Without it, Fromm well recognizes, there can be no full individual unfolding, either. It is meaningful participation within a working, humane society alone that can provide adequate matrix for the unfolding of relational beings such as we are.
It is, ultimately, a societal and infrastructural, as opposed to a merely cultural and educational problem. This is where Fromm's psycho-centric cultural analysis inevitably falls short.An analysis of our defunct memes is not an adequate substitute for the more fundamental structural analysis of the institutions to which whatever memes we may develop must inevitably adapt. Consciously restructuring the institutions of society so that they come to work for human growth, rather than against it, is the task. That such an endeavour seems utopian from our vantage point in itself speaks volumes about where we're at. One can but dream of a life in which work is truly rewarding us by helping us realize our potential, in which we can bring to participation in society all we have, and in which the fate of most of us is not premature psychological death come entry into a highly specialized work-force that provides greater fragmentation and furthers alienation. Why should growth end with the mid 20s?
Ultimately, his work does provide a hope, however circumscribed, that the higher life of growth is not some naive pipedream of innocent schoolchildren not yet awakened to "the reality of things." It should be mandatory reading for young adults who are soon facing entry into the great societal meat machine. It will serve them well as an encouragement to trust in their instinct to try and hold on to their own lights, no matter how all-negating the world they face is. And for older readers, it can be a potent reminder of, in Eliot's words, the Life they may have felt compelled to give up in living. In any case, it's best to be clear on this one matter: supporting something other than spiritual growth is supporting death, and thereby rendering all our actions and pursuits (even if we should succeed in attaining them) utterly meaningless. Having some perspective about real priorities instead of just going with the flow, thinking one might just somehow slide past the nauseating feeling of emptiness, can perhaps enable constructive action before more of life slips past ever more people, irretrievably. If you take from this work only one thing, take this: Authentic success is to be found in our ongoing pursuit of realization, and our true identity is to be sought in an ever-deepening understanding of that most fundamental relationship which grounds our being and transcends all our partial relations, enveloping us in the most primal and encompassing community there is: the community of Being. And here's the most inspiring light that we can hold up to the fear that besets such venturing from (false) security:
“Each new step into his new human existence is frightening. It always means to give up a secure state, which was relatively known, for one which is new, which one has not yet mastered. Undoubtedly, if the infant could think at the moment of the severance of the umbilical cord, he would experience the fear of dying. A loving fate protects us from this first panic. But at any new step, at any new stage of our birth, we are afraid again. We are never free from two conflicting tendencies: one to emerge from the womb, from the animal form of existence into a more human existence, from bondage to freedom; another, to return to the womb, to nature, to certainty and security.”