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The Flower Bearers: A Memoir
“This singular memoir stunned me. With a poet’s precision, Rachel Eliza Griffiths renders two interwoven tragedies few others could have lived through, much less written about with such clear-eyed candor.”—Mary Karr, New York Times bestselling author of The Liars’ Club
On September 24, 2021, Rachel Eliza Griffiths married her husband, the novelist Salman Rushdie. On the same day, hundreds of miles away, Griffiths’ closest friend and chosen sister, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, who was expected to speak at the wedding, died suddenly. Eleven months later, as Griffiths attempted to piece together her life as a newlywed with heartbreak in one hand and immense love in the other, a brutal attack nearly killed her husband. As trauma compounded trauma, Griffiths realized that in order to survive her grief, she would need to mourn not only her friend, but the woman she had been on her wedding day, a woman who had also died that day.
In the process of rebuilding a self, Griffiths chronicles her friendship with Moon, the seventeen years since their meeting at Sarah Lawrence College. Together, they embraced their literary foremothers—Lucille Clifton, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, to name a few—and fought to embrace themselves as poets, artists, and Black women. Alongside this unbreakable bond, Griffiths weaves the story of her relationship with Rushdie, of the challenges they have faced and the unshakeable devotion that endures.
In The Flower Bearers, Griffiths inscribes the trajectories of two transformational relationships with grace and honesty, chronicling the beauty and pain that comes with opening oneself fully to love.
On September 24, 2021, Rachel Eliza Griffiths married her husband, the novelist Salman Rushdie. On the same day, hundreds of miles away, Griffiths’ closest friend and chosen sister, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, who was expected to speak at the wedding, died suddenly. Eleven months later, as Griffiths attempted to piece together her life as a newlywed with heartbreak in one hand and immense love in the other, a brutal attack nearly killed her husband. As trauma compounded trauma, Griffiths realized that in order to survive her grief, she would need to mourn not only her friend, but the woman she had been on her wedding day, a woman who had also died that day.
In the process of rebuilding a self, Griffiths chronicles her friendship with Moon, the seventeen years since their meeting at Sarah Lawrence College. Together, they embraced their literary foremothers—Lucille Clifton, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, to name a few—and fought to embrace themselves as poets, artists, and Black women. Alongside this unbreakable bond, Griffiths weaves the story of her relationship with Rushdie, of the challenges they have faced and the unshakeable devotion that endures.
In The Flower Bearers, Griffiths inscribes the trajectories of two transformational relationships with grace and honesty, chronicling the beauty and pain that comes with opening oneself fully to love.
316 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 20, 2026
About the author
Rachel Eliza Griffiths
15 books158 followersRachel Eliza Griffiths is a multi-media artist, poet, and novelist.
She received the MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and is the recipient of numerous fellowships including Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, Provincetown Fine Arts Work Center, Kimbilio, Cave Canem Foundation, Vermont Studio Center, Millay Colony, and Yaddo.
Her literary and visual work has been widely published in journals, magazines, anthologies, and periodicals including The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times, Best American Poetry 2020, and many others. Griffiths is widely known for her literary portraits, fine art photography, and lyric videos.
She received the MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and is the recipient of numerous fellowships including Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, Provincetown Fine Arts Work Center, Kimbilio, Cave Canem Foundation, Vermont Studio Center, Millay Colony, and Yaddo.
Her literary and visual work has been widely published in journals, magazines, anthologies, and periodicals including The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times, Best American Poetry 2020, and many others. Griffiths is widely known for her literary portraits, fine art photography, and lyric videos.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
February 7, 2026
firstly, thank you to the publisher for an arc!
it is always hard to “rate” a memoir, especially one filled with an intense and immense amount of tragic loss such as rachel eliza griffiths’, but despite her grief, griffiths perseveres, which ignites hope in readers willing to acknowledge and embrace her strength.
i also listened to the audio, and i always appreciate the author narrating their own story.
it is always hard to “rate” a memoir, especially one filled with an intense and immense amount of tragic loss such as rachel eliza griffiths’, but despite her grief, griffiths perseveres, which ignites hope in readers willing to acknowledge and embrace her strength.
i also listened to the audio, and i always appreciate the author narrating their own story.
February 26, 2026
Rachel Eliza Griffiths has been through a heck of a lot. In this memoir, she focuses on her grief over the death of her close friend – who tragically passed on the author’s wedding date – and the horrifying stabbing her husband experienced. Griffiths also writes about other topics such as her mental health (e.g., having dissociative identity disorder) and being a Black woman poet.
I appreciate Griffiths vulnerability, though where I think this memoir suffered on a writing-level was that it had so many ideas but didn’t fully develop many of them. For example, in her writing about her mental health, it just felt unresolved. I’m not saying every topic needs a neat and tidy resolution, but the structure came across as unfocused to me. Her writing itself was a bit purple prose-y for me. A read with interesting ideas that I wish I could recommend more highly.
I appreciate Griffiths vulnerability, though where I think this memoir suffered on a writing-level was that it had so many ideas but didn’t fully develop many of them. For example, in her writing about her mental health, it just felt unresolved. I’m not saying every topic needs a neat and tidy resolution, but the structure came across as unfocused to me. Her writing itself was a bit purple prose-y for me. A read with interesting ideas that I wish I could recommend more highly.
October 13, 2025
I inhaled The Flower Bearers in a single sitting. With the lyricism of a poet, the sensitivity of an artist, and the intimacy of a faithful friend, Rachel Eliza Griffiths has penned a tribute to love and loss. The Flower Bearers offers us a searing reminder that to live is to insist on love relentlessly, in the face of tragedy and grief. This is a wonder of a book.
January 21, 2026
The Flower Bearers: A Memoir, from Rachel Eliza Griffiths, is many stories in one: the tale of a young black girl becoming a woman who wants to write; the story of her passionate friendships during the years of her education and beyond, especially the very close friendship that became a sisterhood with Kamilah Aisha Moon who would become a well known poet; and the great love she found in her life with Salman Rushdie. Mixed with the stories of love and joy, success and happiness, are tales of frustration, loss, grief, mental illness and the hard work of gaining back health after trauma. She married Rushdie less than a year before the nearly fatal attempt on his life. Her wedding day, perhaps the happiest day of her life, unknown to Eliza at the time, was the day of Aisha’s death. So many wounds.
This is an emotional story, written beautifully at times by the poet-author. At other times it becomes a raw emotion filled statement of hurt, self analysis, fear and hope. Rushdie is her lodestar. Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, especially literary memoirs. Be aware that Griffiths’ memoir reflects the trauma she lived through with her losses and she voices these fully, eloquently, powerfully.
Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an eARC of this book.
This is an emotional story, written beautifully at times by the poet-author. At other times it becomes a raw emotion filled statement of hurt, self analysis, fear and hope. Rushdie is her lodestar. Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, especially literary memoirs. Be aware that Griffiths’ memoir reflects the trauma she lived through with her losses and she voices these fully, eloquently, powerfully.
Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an eARC of this book.
December 9, 2025
It is very difficult to rate a memoir. It’s hard to relate and keep from judging how someone experiences and responds to events in their life.
I understand the loss of a best friend having a devastating affect on our lives. This memoir in my opinion depicts the responses and behaviors of a person with the luxury of privilege. In one year of my life I lost five close family members including a spouse, both parents, sister and uncle. I had a small child and a job and life had to go on. There wasn’t the luxury to curl up and drop out of life’s responsibilities indefinitely. Crying and withdrawing for years wasn’t an option. I wanted to scream “put your big girl panties on a grow up” so many times reading this book.
I am not a fan of poetry, nor am I familiar with any poets. That being said, I am probably a bigger critic than most. The entire middle of this book dragged as the author went into detail page after page listing famous poets and places where readings, workshops and auditions were held.
I have never heard of her famous husband. I did feel very badly to read of his attack and wish them a long life with much love. The writing was excellent, even though the book was a hard finish for me.
I understand the loss of a best friend having a devastating affect on our lives. This memoir in my opinion depicts the responses and behaviors of a person with the luxury of privilege. In one year of my life I lost five close family members including a spouse, both parents, sister and uncle. I had a small child and a job and life had to go on. There wasn’t the luxury to curl up and drop out of life’s responsibilities indefinitely. Crying and withdrawing for years wasn’t an option. I wanted to scream “put your big girl panties on a grow up” so many times reading this book.
I am not a fan of poetry, nor am I familiar with any poets. That being said, I am probably a bigger critic than most. The entire middle of this book dragged as the author went into detail page after page listing famous poets and places where readings, workshops and auditions were held.
I have never heard of her famous husband. I did feel very badly to read of his attack and wish them a long life with much love. The writing was excellent, even though the book was a hard finish for me.
April 4, 2026
A book this reflective should come with a warning. Tears are not included, but they are absolutely not optional.
The Flower Bearers is a powerful meditation on grief in all its forms. Not just the grief that comes with loss, but the quieter, often overlooked versions. The grief of who you used to be. The grief of dreams that no longer fit. The grief that comes from life changing in ways you never planned.
The story moves across different moments in time, and that structure adds to its emotional depth. One chapter places you in the joy of a wedding, the next immerses you in the formation of a deeply meaningful friendship. Just as you begin to understand the weight of that connection, everything shifts in a way that feels both shocking and ironic.
The writing is filled with lines that linger. The kind that stops you mid page because they hit a little too close. It’s reflective, honest, and quietly devastating.
At its core, the story is also rooted in history and identity, adding another layer of richness and meaning. It educates, it challenges, and it invites you to sit with emotions that are often easier to avoid.
This is more than a reading experience. It’s something you feel.
Read this book. Keep tissues nearby. And maybe hold your loved ones a little closer, because nothing is guaranteed.
The Flower Bearers is a powerful meditation on grief in all its forms. Not just the grief that comes with loss, but the quieter, often overlooked versions. The grief of who you used to be. The grief of dreams that no longer fit. The grief that comes from life changing in ways you never planned.
The story moves across different moments in time, and that structure adds to its emotional depth. One chapter places you in the joy of a wedding, the next immerses you in the formation of a deeply meaningful friendship. Just as you begin to understand the weight of that connection, everything shifts in a way that feels both shocking and ironic.
The writing is filled with lines that linger. The kind that stops you mid page because they hit a little too close. It’s reflective, honest, and quietly devastating.
At its core, the story is also rooted in history and identity, adding another layer of richness and meaning. It educates, it challenges, and it invites you to sit with emotions that are often easier to avoid.
This is more than a reading experience. It’s something you feel.
Read this book. Keep tissues nearby. And maybe hold your loved ones a little closer, because nothing is guaranteed.
February 7, 2026
I started the Flower Bearers by Rachel Eliza Griffiths in shock and great interest. Now I’m finishing The Flower Bearers in tears, deep guttural pain, and unwell my lawd it’s too good and shows how grief can come in waves of beauty and pain. What a memoir! 👏🏾👏🏾 So well done and how she ties in the title my Lawd I’m just in shambles 😩 Just go read it 😭😭 (Trigger warnings everywhere)
March 13, 2026
Griffiths’s wedding to Rushdie also doubles as the day she loses Aisha, her best friend. Her memoir recounts the two women’s friendship because ever since they connected at college, Aisha has been Griffiths’s home. As Black women who share a love for poetry and writing, they studied works by Clifton, Walker, Bambara, and Lorde, their beloved “literary ancestral tribe,” “a literary foremother.” Griffiths winds back time to tell her coming-of-age story, navigating dissociative, people-pleasing, and finding her voice as a writer, all alongside Aisha. Aisha held her down in low moments and cheered her on in the high ones. As if the messiness of these overlapping events weren’t enough, months after Aisha’s death, Rushdie sustains the knife attack. Griffiths grapples with potentially losing her new husband and works through supporting him in recovery.
When the author returns to Aisha’s grave to say goodbye, she recognizes her role as a Flower Bearer. Calling on Hurston’s funeral as an example, Griffiths retrieves this forgotten role, which was “more likely to be incorporated into Black Funerals.” Flower Bearers “were at first very young girls” who were “relatives of the departed loved ones.” Griffiths bears flowers to Aisha’s homegoing, and she will remember to give herself flowers.
Griffiths memoir keeps readers in suspense as we sense that something has gone awry on her wedding day, and she holds off on revealing Aisha’s death until later—that is, until Griffiths eulogizes her sister. In time, the author celebrates Aisha and mourns her death in detail. What remains less clear to me is how her dissociative identity disorder affects her life, including her grief and the meaning of giving herself flowers.
On a slightly different note, one of the most impactful scenes of the book was when Griffiths met Morrison for the first time. As a published author, Griffiths meets Morrison and gifts her a book of poems that Griffiths wrote for Morrison. What a moving picture of meeting one’s scholarly heroes, being able to thank them for their work, and building on their legacy.
I rate The Flower Bearers 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an ARC.
When the author returns to Aisha’s grave to say goodbye, she recognizes her role as a Flower Bearer. Calling on Hurston’s funeral as an example, Griffiths retrieves this forgotten role, which was “more likely to be incorporated into Black Funerals.” Flower Bearers “were at first very young girls” who were “relatives of the departed loved ones.” Griffiths bears flowers to Aisha’s homegoing, and she will remember to give herself flowers.
Griffiths memoir keeps readers in suspense as we sense that something has gone awry on her wedding day, and she holds off on revealing Aisha’s death until later—that is, until Griffiths eulogizes her sister. In time, the author celebrates Aisha and mourns her death in detail. What remains less clear to me is how her dissociative identity disorder affects her life, including her grief and the meaning of giving herself flowers.
On a slightly different note, one of the most impactful scenes of the book was when Griffiths met Morrison for the first time. As a published author, Griffiths meets Morrison and gifts her a book of poems that Griffiths wrote for Morrison. What a moving picture of meeting one’s scholarly heroes, being able to thank them for their work, and building on their legacy.
I rate The Flower Bearers 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an ARC.
October 19, 2025
4.5 stars
This book is one I won't soon - or likely ever - forget. It's deeply emotional, revealing, and powerful. Not every reader will have the tolerance for this content, but those who do should jump right in. Also, I'm not sure any person thinks they have the ability to survive what Griffiths has, and yet... if Griffiths can live it, we can witness.
Incoming readers may be aware of basic facts about the author that include her previous work and, perhaps, the fact that she's married to an incredibly famous writer (and personality in general). While both of these details - of course - play significant roles in her life, they are not the focal point of this work, and while they are the details by which I knew Griffiths at the start, they won't be the items I take with me.
This is a book about trauma, grief, relentless loss, mental illness, friendship, all forms of love, grit, and personal evolution. Griffiths writes in depth about the ways in which our relationships shape us and about what we choose to reveal and hold back in certain circumstances. Her relationship with her mother, her best friend, her dog, and her current husband are all highlights of these explorations,
I knew so little about Griffiths when I started this read, and the discovery process made the journey even more impactful. I recommend limiting added exposure to the author's life and experience on the way in. Let her tell you what happened and what it means.
This is a hard book because it is honest and life puts us through the paces: some of us more than others. Readers who can handle it (and when I tell you that if CW or TW ever impact your choices, you need to look at them for this one) should crack this as soon as they're able. I'll be thinking about this one and feeling grateful to Griffiths for sharing for a long, long time.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Lauren Chrisney at Penguin Random House for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
This book is one I won't soon - or likely ever - forget. It's deeply emotional, revealing, and powerful. Not every reader will have the tolerance for this content, but those who do should jump right in. Also, I'm not sure any person thinks they have the ability to survive what Griffiths has, and yet... if Griffiths can live it, we can witness.
Incoming readers may be aware of basic facts about the author that include her previous work and, perhaps, the fact that she's married to an incredibly famous writer (and personality in general). While both of these details - of course - play significant roles in her life, they are not the focal point of this work, and while they are the details by which I knew Griffiths at the start, they won't be the items I take with me.
This is a book about trauma, grief, relentless loss, mental illness, friendship, all forms of love, grit, and personal evolution. Griffiths writes in depth about the ways in which our relationships shape us and about what we choose to reveal and hold back in certain circumstances. Her relationship with her mother, her best friend, her dog, and her current husband are all highlights of these explorations,
I knew so little about Griffiths when I started this read, and the discovery process made the journey even more impactful. I recommend limiting added exposure to the author's life and experience on the way in. Let her tell you what happened and what it means.
This is a hard book because it is honest and life puts us through the paces: some of us more than others. Readers who can handle it (and when I tell you that if CW or TW ever impact your choices, you need to look at them for this one) should crack this as soon as they're able. I'll be thinking about this one and feeling grateful to Griffiths for sharing for a long, long time.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Lauren Chrisney at Penguin Random House for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
October 27, 2025
The Flower Bearers is a searing, raw book about sudden loss, violence, and grief. It was engrossing and incredibly candid. As difficult as the events depicted were, there is also so much love. I also really enjoyed hearing about the author's life as a writer and what it means to have writer-sister-friends who understand you on a deep and spiritual level. This book is written by a poet and you can tell. I loved the section where she drops punctuation rules and where it feels like we are suddenly in the middle of a poem. I felt like the ending was maybe a bit rushed. I didn't need a pat resolution, but I wanted to understand a little better where the author is right now in terms of these losses and traumas. This was the first book of Griffith's I read, and I'm excited to read more of her work.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
April 7, 2026
Strangely, being Salman Rushdie’s 5th (!!) wife is perhaps the least interesting about Griffiths. While the main focus is a very meaningful friendship - in and around it - she touches on childhood trauma, health struggles, writing, and more. All things that shaped her. And profound loss and grief. For me, literary memoirs can lean pretentious, but this didn’t. I will say the lyrical style, though often lovely, became a bit exhausting by the end. Still, a solid read!
March 29, 2026
First memoir I’ve been able to relate to and perhaps my favorite memoir I’ve ever read<3 I experienced every single emotion while reading this book. I love poets, I love being a young black writer in New York, I love a sense of immediacy when recalling memory, I love female friendships and I love reading knowing that every single word on the page is intentional.
January 20, 2026
Happy Release Day!
This memoir was phenomenal. It's clear that Rachel is a poet because the writing in this is so beautifully done. I originally didn't think I would enjoy a book about grief because the emotions it often involves are ones I tend to avoid. However, I found myself flying through these pages and rooting for Rachel the entire time.
We are introduced to Rachel at such an important milestone in her life - her wedding. Yet her bestie, Aisha, isn't answering the phone, and Rachel immediately knows something is wrong. From there, we journey into Rachel's past to witness the many ways in which grief has permeated her life, as well as the budding relationship between Rachel and Aisha. Be prepared to experience a full range of emotions while reading this.
Quotes I've enjoyed:
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go." - Regina King
"but "flower bearers" are girls or women who carry the flowers that accompany the dead."
"the trauma of our generation was attached to our ancestors, too. Each killing took a piece of us into its history, dragging us to the bottom of the slave ship, to the cradle of the Atlantic's cemetery, and we could neither forget nor forgive this. The memory of poetry itself served as our jury and forbade us to look away."
Rachel's debut novel is currently one of my 26 to read in 26, and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with her writing.
Do yourself a favor and pick this one up if you enjoy lyrically filled memoirs, but be sure to check the content warnings if you struggle with books that mention suicidal ideations, death of parents, or dissociative identity disorders.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
This memoir was phenomenal. It's clear that Rachel is a poet because the writing in this is so beautifully done. I originally didn't think I would enjoy a book about grief because the emotions it often involves are ones I tend to avoid. However, I found myself flying through these pages and rooting for Rachel the entire time.
We are introduced to Rachel at such an important milestone in her life - her wedding. Yet her bestie, Aisha, isn't answering the phone, and Rachel immediately knows something is wrong. From there, we journey into Rachel's past to witness the many ways in which grief has permeated her life, as well as the budding relationship between Rachel and Aisha. Be prepared to experience a full range of emotions while reading this.
Quotes I've enjoyed:
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go." - Regina King
"but "flower bearers" are girls or women who carry the flowers that accompany the dead."
"the trauma of our generation was attached to our ancestors, too. Each killing took a piece of us into its history, dragging us to the bottom of the slave ship, to the cradle of the Atlantic's cemetery, and we could neither forget nor forgive this. The memory of poetry itself served as our jury and forbade us to look away."
Rachel's debut novel is currently one of my 26 to read in 26, and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with her writing.
Do yourself a favor and pick this one up if you enjoy lyrically filled memoirs, but be sure to check the content warnings if you struggle with books that mention suicidal ideations, death of parents, or dissociative identity disorders.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
February 17, 2026
I am so very grateful that Rachel Eliza Griffiths did not listen to anyone who told her she could not or should not write both poetry and prose. This book is an incredibly beautiful story of love in its many forms: love of self, of friends, chosen sisters, mothers, family, partners. In all its complexities and simplicities, its rawness and strength, its fundamental power.
I truly admire her ability to write her own story of grief, mental health, trauma, loss, friendship, and personal growth with such vulnerable depth and honesty. To do so in such a beautifully lyrical way is no small feat.
At one point she mentions that when she first set out to write this book, it wasn’t meant to be her personal story but a more general exploration of Black womanhood and sisterhood. I’m sure that would have been incredible too — but I’m so glad she chose her own story instead. Adding her voice to the powerful lineage of Black women writers who inspired her.
This was my first book of hers, and I’ll definitely be adding the rest to my TBR.
I truly admire her ability to write her own story of grief, mental health, trauma, loss, friendship, and personal growth with such vulnerable depth and honesty. To do so in such a beautifully lyrical way is no small feat.
At one point she mentions that when she first set out to write this book, it wasn’t meant to be her personal story but a more general exploration of Black womanhood and sisterhood. I’m sure that would have been incredible too — but I’m so glad she chose her own story instead. Adding her voice to the powerful lineage of Black women writers who inspired her.
This was my first book of hers, and I’ll definitely be adding the rest to my TBR.
April 11, 2026
The cover drew me in, but the words kept me. Rachel Eliza Griffiths details how her life has been shaped by love, sisterhood, and pain. She navigates immense trauma and grief tied to her upbringing, mental illness, untimely loss of her chosen sister/best friend, and the life attempt made towards her husband.
This book is for the lovers of literature and prose. Rachel’s writing is very lyrical and features quotes and poetry from her contemporaries. There is commentary on the passions and struggles of those striving to realize their art.
An apt read for National Poetry Month! ✨
This book is for the lovers of literature and prose. Rachel’s writing is very lyrical and features quotes and poetry from her contemporaries. There is commentary on the passions and struggles of those striving to realize their art.
An apt read for National Poetry Month! ✨
September 29, 2025
A raw and heartbreaking memoir about the loss of a best friend who is like a sister, this book was so emotional for me. Beautifully written, I learned so much about Aisha, Rachel, their friendship and history, and Rachel’s marriage. I was so caught up in each chapter I couldn’t wait to read on to the next one to learn more. This book is a beautiful tribute to a stunning friendship.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 12, 2025
When I read the synopsis saying that this was a memoir by Salman Rushdie's wife, I immediately wanted to read it because of Salman Rushdie. I wanted to know what it was like to be wedded to the great Salman Rushdie, but this book is so much more than that! First of all, I can't believe I've never heard of Rachel Eliza Griffiths. I love poetry, and she happens to be a poet. She is also a gifted writer, and this is a beautifully written memoir in which she recounts some very vulnerable moments of her life in such a poignantly descriptive way. I read much of this book with tears in my eyes. She details her upbringing, friendships and relationships, losses, and personal struggles with mental illness. She discloses really personal experiences in such an authentic way.
This book is beautiful. I loved it. I can't wait for it to come out in hardcover so I can buy it and keep it forever. Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the ARC.
This book is beautiful. I loved it. I can't wait for it to come out in hardcover so I can buy it and keep it forever. Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Wow. I'm not sure I have the words to describe how profoundly I felt this biomythography (Griffiths doesn't call it that, but refers the term coined by Audre Lorde, and it feels appropriate to the scope of this work). I'm ashamed to admit that I am not quite tuned into the world of Black poetry as I should be, and only heard of Rachel Eliza Griffiths in the context of her being my literary hero Salman Rushdie's wife, and how besotted he is with her magnificence in his work based on the events around the horrific attack on him a couple of years ago. In her work, Griffiths not only brings you the other half of that beautiful love story, but also masterfully writes about a tapestry of life and living and becoming a Black, queer, female poet and artist in America, during times of great reckonings, global and personal. Her love story with Rushdie is juxtaposed against her relationship with her soul sister, poet Aisha Moon, and the tragic passing of Aisha on the day of her wedding. With that inflection point, Griffiths tells a tale of two young aspiring poets navigating their place in the tribe of Black poets, authors, thinkers across time, and growing together through shared joys, sorrows and struggles with personal demons and loving each other fiercely. This is a story that only a poet can tell, even in prose, carrying you with the gentle yet formidable waves of deeply vulnerable imagery and a touch of spirituality that feels all too tangible. There is so much about her life and experience of grief that are nothing like mine and can never be, and yet I recognize the profound feeling of connection to an ancient tribe of Others and the specific urges in grieving a soul sibling. It gutted me and made me feel seen and less alone and part of a tribe of those who are made to feel like they are the wrong kind of too much.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ebook ARC. I will not stop raving about this for a long long time.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ebook ARC. I will not stop raving about this for a long long time.
April 3, 2026
Some books you pick up because of the cover… and this was absolutely one of them. The Flower Bearers pulled me in before I even read a single page — and once I stepped into Rachel Eliza Griffiths’ world, I realized this was going to be a deeply intimate reading experience.
This memoir opens on what should be one of the most joyful days of her life — her marriage to Salman Rushdie — and almost immediately shifts into profound loss. That emotional contrast sets the tone for a story that is less about a single moment and more about how we carry grief alongside love, identity, and growth.
What stood out most to me was the friendship at the center of this story. The bond she shares with her chosen sister is written with such tenderness and depth that you can feel how rare and meaningful that connection was. It’s the kind of relationship that lingers, even in absence.
Griffiths’ writing is incredibly poetic — at times almost dreamlike — but when she speaks on grief, it becomes grounded, raw, and strikingly clear. There’s an honesty in how she navigates loss, mental health, and selfhood that doesn’t feel performative. It feels lived-in.
This isn’t a fast-paced memoir, and it doesn’t follow a traditional structure. Instead, it moves like memory — reflective, layered, and at times fragmented — which adds to the emotional weight of the story.
I found myself most connected in the moments where she allowed the grief to speak plainly. Those were the parts that stayed with me.
A beautifully written, deeply personal memoir that explores love, loss, and the ways we continue becoming after life changes us.
This memoir opens on what should be one of the most joyful days of her life — her marriage to Salman Rushdie — and almost immediately shifts into profound loss. That emotional contrast sets the tone for a story that is less about a single moment and more about how we carry grief alongside love, identity, and growth.
What stood out most to me was the friendship at the center of this story. The bond she shares with her chosen sister is written with such tenderness and depth that you can feel how rare and meaningful that connection was. It’s the kind of relationship that lingers, even in absence.
Griffiths’ writing is incredibly poetic — at times almost dreamlike — but when she speaks on grief, it becomes grounded, raw, and strikingly clear. There’s an honesty in how she navigates loss, mental health, and selfhood that doesn’t feel performative. It feels lived-in.
This isn’t a fast-paced memoir, and it doesn’t follow a traditional structure. Instead, it moves like memory — reflective, layered, and at times fragmented — which adds to the emotional weight of the story.
I found myself most connected in the moments where she allowed the grief to speak plainly. Those were the parts that stayed with me.
A beautifully written, deeply personal memoir that explores love, loss, and the ways we continue becoming after life changes us.
April 3, 2026
Update: I completely forgot another important part! And deleted an inaccuracy. Guess I wrote too quickly.
For context, this was a hard read, but it is also a heartbreaking one. It actually is second to Gilbert's "All The Way To The River." That is, if I were to place Griffiths' memoir on a tier list of "saddest stories read to date."
"The Flower Bearers" is an intense, personal, and raw account of loss, friendship, Black resilience/power/joy. Griffiths narrates much of how several Black women affect her personality and mental/spiritual growth. Perhaps, the most important person that deeply motivated and stirs up a tremendous amount of spiritual growth is Kamilah Aisha Moon/ "Aisha" for short.
I could sense several things from reading this 300 page memoir: platonic soulmates exist, love exists no bounds, and loss hurts like a bitch. Griffiths' writing is poetic and very sentimental. You can literally feel how she feels. Definitely poet material.
I suppose this memoir was a quick read for me, yet her power really brings in so much light. I really like how she primarily focuses on female strength and resilience, despite her experience with mental illness. Her point on her mental health and diagnosis with disassociative personality disorder sheds a good light of the story.
Honestly, if this were to be a thesis statement: Griffiths evokes how Black power triumphs even in the midst of systematic oppression, racism, and violence, while being at its strongest when undergoing constant cycles of loss in one's life.
For context, this was a hard read, but it is also a heartbreaking one. It actually is second to Gilbert's "All The Way To The River." That is, if I were to place Griffiths' memoir on a tier list of "saddest stories read to date."
"The Flower Bearers" is an intense, personal, and raw account of loss, friendship, Black resilience/power/joy. Griffiths narrates much of how several Black women affect her personality and mental/spiritual growth. Perhaps, the most important person that deeply motivated and stirs up a tremendous amount of spiritual growth is Kamilah Aisha Moon/ "Aisha" for short.
I could sense several things from reading this 300 page memoir: platonic soulmates exist, love exists no bounds, and loss hurts like a bitch. Griffiths' writing is poetic and very sentimental. You can literally feel how she feels. Definitely poet material.
I suppose this memoir was a quick read for me, yet her power really brings in so much light. I really like how she primarily focuses on female strength and resilience, despite her experience with mental illness. Her point on her mental health and diagnosis with disassociative personality disorder sheds a good light of the story.
Honestly, if this were to be a thesis statement: Griffiths evokes how Black power triumphs even in the midst of systematic oppression, racism, and violence, while being at its strongest when undergoing constant cycles of loss in one's life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 2, 2026
A poetic, nonlinear memoir centered on grief, mental health, identity, and the power of chosen sisterhood. The prose is vivid and intimate, offering a rare first-person look at dissociative identity disorder and healing through music and poetry. While emotionally resonant, the frequent timeline shifts and lack of clear structure made it difficult to follow and less impactful overall.
Quotes I love:
Chapter 20 - “why do I think I need anyone else’s permission to be myself? I can’t stand how much I care about people sometimes. Why do I have to be wounded or make everyone feel comfortable with me so I’m not threatening?” - author
Chapter 20 - “In the living room I paused at the counter to look at the wildflowers which were already wilting. I couldn’t throw them away. They were innocent.” -author
Chapter 34 -“The only thing we knew for sure was that we would take care of each other as we waited to see what was coming next.” - author (talking about her and spouse)
“Do you always give your flowers away or do you save some for yourself?”
“No matter how it may appear I am not rootless” - kamilah Aisha moon “disbelief”
“We are her flowers”
“Chosen sister”
Quotes I love:
Chapter 20 - “why do I think I need anyone else’s permission to be myself? I can’t stand how much I care about people sometimes. Why do I have to be wounded or make everyone feel comfortable with me so I’m not threatening?” - author
Chapter 20 - “In the living room I paused at the counter to look at the wildflowers which were already wilting. I couldn’t throw them away. They were innocent.” -author
Chapter 34 -“The only thing we knew for sure was that we would take care of each other as we waited to see what was coming next.” - author (talking about her and spouse)
“Do you always give your flowers away or do you save some for yourself?”
“No matter how it may appear I am not rootless” - kamilah Aisha moon “disbelief”
“We are her flowers”
“Chosen sister”
March 7, 2026
Great read. There is a lot of sadness here but it is just one part of the story - it’s a beautiful testament to friendship, and the memoir really shines when we are taken into the world of Eliza and Aisha as young people discovering who they are as writers. Reminded me of Ann Patchett’s Truth and Beauty. Highly vivid and alive, and not too hokey, which feels unusual in a book that is very much about grief.
Read
March 11, 2026A lyrical and vulnerable memoir on grief. Rachel Eliza writes in an unmistakably poet's prose as she recounts her encounters of death and trauma. This memoir was HEAVY, but wrapped in beautiful language and the bitter sweet realization that our time with those we love is limited. While Rachel Eliza is notorious for her relationship as wife to Salman Rushdie, and while this memoir was packaged as that to me, I found it was a meditation on the incalculable value friendship more than anything.
March 15, 2026
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!!
This was such an interesting and well detailed book! I adored the way Rachel wrote about her relationship with both Aisha and Salman.
Grief is something that is so hard to grapple with. It takes on so many different forms and especially on the day that is meant to be one of your happiest, it can be hard to identify and differentiate what you want and what you need to do in order to grieve and move on.
This was such an interesting and well detailed book! I adored the way Rachel wrote about her relationship with both Aisha and Salman.
Grief is something that is so hard to grapple with. It takes on so many different forms and especially on the day that is meant to be one of your happiest, it can be hard to identify and differentiate what you want and what you need to do in order to grieve and move on.
April 7, 2026
It's so hard to rate a memoir because it's a person's life and how do you judge that? I think ultimately Griffiths pulled off a compelling book but it was uneven. Parts of the book dragged and her narration didn't do the book any favors.
Griffiths is honestly probably best known for being married to Salman Rushdie but this book focuses on a friendship and Griffiths's mental health. Rushdie's memoir, Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder, is about an aging and vulnerable man who realizes how much he owes to his younger wife. Griffiths mentions Rushdie, and there's no reason to believe she doesn't care for him, but she writes about being saved by her best friend. That was what was most interesting about this book.
I got the sense that Griffiths struggles when writing about herself. There are unexplored relationships and superficial conversations. By comparison, I wanted to know a lot more about Aisha.
I'm curious about Griffiths's poetry and might check it out.
Griffiths is honestly probably best known for being married to Salman Rushdie but this book focuses on a friendship and Griffiths's mental health. Rushdie's memoir, Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder, is about an aging and vulnerable man who realizes how much he owes to his younger wife. Griffiths mentions Rushdie, and there's no reason to believe she doesn't care for him, but she writes about being saved by her best friend. That was what was most interesting about this book.
I got the sense that Griffiths struggles when writing about herself. There are unexplored relationships and superficial conversations. By comparison, I wanted to know a lot more about Aisha.
I'm curious about Griffiths's poetry and might check it out.
Want to Read
September 22, 2025Should I read it ?Is it worth or the cover is just niccceee !!!
February 3, 2026
So beautiful❤️
February 25, 2026
First literary league meeting :) hard not to give this one five stars. So incredibly tragic and moving, very inspiring to read about such a resilient author
April 3, 2026
Rachel Eliza Griffith's memoir, The Flower Bearers, is beautifully written from start to finish and a deeply personal read. Her prose is immersive and intimate while spanning grief, love, joy, connection, and resilience. I absolutely loved it!
January 29, 2026
4.5 stars, rounded up
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