Profound, clever and poetic. And very bleak.
Being familiar with his comedy, I had no doubts this would be a great journey.
It is also a gritty and raw journey.
Ingram’s life is about the bare bones: facts, things, survival. And the fact that he’s a young, innocent boy increases the intensity of everything that happens to him.
Louis CK is painting for us a shocking example of how cruel life can be. The reader has to struggle with the instinct to protect a young kid, while life throws horror after horror at him, and that’s heavy because as a reader, you can’t do anything to help him.
When I got to the end, I wondered to what extent this story must be autobiographical, since in the end every writer writes about themselves, and I’m sure that in at least a metaphorical way a lot of it is very personal for Louis.
Something that struck me is how Ingram’s growth, as a character, happens only as a matter of practical experience, of simply “being more used to the world”, rather than as real internal growth.
By the end, there is a mention of an internal trauma being somehow processed, but to me, that sounds more like “psychiatry fluff” rather than actual, profound growth.
What I mean is, there is street wisdom and then there is actual wisdom. Nowadays, the former is much more common than the latter.
Louis, like many modern secular men, stands at the foot of the Cross without Resurrection, which might look like clear-eyed courage, but is a kind of truncation.
He refuses to move, watching, as our Lord bleeds and suffers with us and for us. It’s late at night. Almost no sounds. It’s a warm night, with a little breeze.
He sees the wood very clearly. He does not flinch from nails, from blood, from pain, from the public exposure and humiliation (which he has had to endure himself, mutatis mutandis, due to the recent scandal).
He understands, with an acuity that is increasingly rare, that this world is a cold pit of selfishness, and that too many religious people simply seek faith for superficial comfort, or apply their selfishness to a grandiose delusion.
But — like most, he confuses real faith with “fables and bs”:
“I thought about all these words that meant the same thing: fables, bullshit, lies, fiction: things that weren’t real. What Marian said men need to believe, or what she said puts sugar in your mind. Then there were other words that come together, like what Jackson at the farm called “reality” and Marian called “the truth”: what you get stuck with. The way things are, that can’t be avoided, and are too much to look at.”
A lot of the novel’s core revolves around this concept of “truth”, of staring at it in the face rather than filling your head with fables.
Many people today erroneously believe that christianity is a prime example of these “fables”. Louis CK probably does, too, because when a priest (or bishop) visits Ingram in the hospital and tells him about Jesus’ presence in everyone’s life, Ingram says “that was the most untrue thing I’d heard in my entire life”, his life being defined by extreme loneliness.
(When a protagonist in fiction says something about God, it is generally the author’s own perspective).
What this perspective ignores, however, is that the christianity that they’re thinking about is simply not christianity. And that true christian doctrine is not about sugar-coating (think about all the christian martyrs, just as an example), but about getting deeper into our actual reality.
In this novel, the Cross becomes a practical lesson in realism rather than a passage. It is the place where illusions go to die, not where the dead rise and everything begins. Not the one place in history where a man symbolically, realistically, genuinely, metaphorically, authentically and literally defeated death.
And so Louis’s honesty, bracing as it is, risks closing in on itself and becoming cynicism. It circles human failure with precision, yet refuses the possibility that failure might be more than terminal.
The Cross is not merely the revelation of how bad things are and can be, but the condition of their transformation. To stop at the crucifixion is to grasp judgment without mercy, truth without completion.
It’s like reading only Inferno and thinking that’s the whole Divine Comedy. Dante understood that Christianity is not an opinion, but it’s the only thing that can explain the truth.
Yeah, not “my truth” or “his truth”.
The truth.
Our society of teenagers has lost the courage to say that.
The Resurrection, after all, is an offense to realism.
It breaks causality. It violates moral accounting. It forgives without pretending nothing happened.
In a sense, Louis makes the mistake that millions make today: being smart, they question tirelessly, thinking that faith asks you to do the opposite. But despite the appearances and the numerous examples of unthinking self-proclaiming christians, that’s not the case.
Real christian doctrine is not built on dumb acceptance of principles. It is rooted in a relentless desire to question reality and get to the bottom of it. It requires great rationality as well as great trust.
So, like many today, Louis waits at the Cross, looking at Jesus, almost a corpse by now. A tiny and grey body, the last pieces of garments flapping in the breeze.
He insists that meaning, if it exists, must be carried on human shoulders alone. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is divine.
But every single human heart needs to worship. Each of us worships something.
Therefore — real, true and deep happiness and growth cannot prescind from the truth of God. And the truth of the Resurrection.
It’s not an easy truth to accept, especially for the intellectually minded like Louis C. K. It’s very difficult.
But it’s the key to “salvation”, a word that comes from “being healthy” in latin.
“Tom! Enough with the preaching! Why do you go on about faith so much?”
Because — like Cardinal Sarah said — “in the end, it is God or nothing.”