My least favorite of the triptych but the ending solidified my four star rating. Interesting to see the writer’s love for the ocean, SoCal, beaches, utopia, growing up, softball, and community ebb back and forth the the tides of time throughout this universe.
“In the field he settled down at third base to sharp attention on every pitch. Third base like a razors edge, third base like a mongoose among snakes: this was how the announcer in his head and always put it, ever since childhood. Occasionally there was a sudden chance to act, but mostly it was settling down, paying attention, the same phrase it said over and over. Playing as a kind of praying.” P.10
“A relationship had feedback loops, like any other ecology – that’s what Hank used to say. A movement in one direction or another could quickly spiral out of control. Kind of like a tailspin, now that Kevin thought about it. Harder than hell to re-stabilize after you fell into one of those.” P.19
“God existed in every atom, as Hank was always saying, and every molecule, and every particulate jot of the material world, so that he was breathing God deep into himself with every fragrant breath. And sometimes it really felt that way, hammering nails into new framing, soaring in the sky, biking through night air, the black hills bulking around him....He knew the configuration of every dark tree he passed, every turn in the path, and for a long moment rushing along he felt spread out in it all, interpenetrated, the smell of the plants part of him, his body a piece of the hills, and all of it cool with a holy tingling.” P.32
“We are the aristocracy of the world. This time the revolution will bring down more than the aristocracy. Could be everything. Crumpled newspaper, compartmentalized of disaster. Catastrophe by percentage points.” P.61
“Tom grunted. He hadn’t seen Jill in a year, his daughter in five. People moved around too much, and thought that TV phones made up for it. He looked up at the sun, blinking through leaves. So she had had two husbands die on her. And here she was laughing in the sunlight, making patterns with dead leaves and twigs, like a girl. Life was strange.” P.70-71
“So the utopias in books are pocket utopias too. Ahistorical, static, why should we read them? They don’t speak to us trapped in this world as we are, we look at them in the same way we look at the pretty inside of a paperweight, still drifting down, so what? It may be nice but we’re stuck here and no one‘s going to give us a fresh start, we have to deal with history as it stands, no freer than a wedge in a crack.
Stuck in history like a wedge in a crack
With no way out and no way back – Split the world!” P.95
“Anyway, you have to imagine this underground saturation, this underground movement.” She stretched her arms forward and reached with her fingers, in a sort of unconscious groundwater dance. “The shapes of the basin bottoms sometimes bring the water closer to the surface – if there’s an underground ridge of impermeable bedrock, and the ground water is flowing downhill over this ridge, water gets pushed to the surface, and the very top of a giant slow-motion waterfall. That’s how you get artesian wells.” P.104
“Kevin felt a stirring in him, the full-lunged breathlessness that marked his love for El Modena’s hills, extending outward to these great peaks. Interpenetration with the rock. He was melting like the snow, seeping into it. And every particulate jot of matter, spirit, dancing...” P.107
“What do you talk about when you’re falling in love? It doesn’t matter. All the questions are, Who are you? How do you think? Are you like me? Will you love me? And all the answers are, I am like this, like this, like this. I am like you. I like you.” P.134
“They sat down again, leaned back against the warm rock side-by-side, arms touching. A thick rain of light poured down on them, knitting tightly with the onshore winds. Photon by photon, striking and flaking off, filling the air so that everything--the sea, the tall ships, the stone of the jetty, the green light tower at the other jetty‘s and, the buoys clinging on the ground swell, the long sand reach of the beach, the lifeguard stands and their streaming flags, the pastel wrack of apartments, the palm fronds swaying over it all-- everything floated in a white light, an aura of salt mist, ethereal in the photon rain. In every particulate jot of being... Kevin settled back like a sleeping cat. What a day..” P.137
“The sycamore overhead had a fractal pattern of such complexity that it made him dizzy. So many branches, all of them waving against the stars, not in concert but each in a rhythm of its own, depending on how far from the trunk it was...another drink of tequila, sure. Looking down he saw the trail that’s clear as the yellow brick road. He lumbered off along it, and the forest.” P.158
“To be really beautiful a body has to have a bit more to it. Their skin is too smooth. Beautiful skin has to have some pattern to it. She pinched together the skin of his upper arm. “Like that.”
He laughed. “Yeah, they need some wrinkles, show some character!” P.160
“He stood there in the moony dark, stunned by the dislike in her voice. His heart tocked in his ears, seemed to pound in the earth beneath them. Intense hurt, mood plummeting like a bird hit by shot. Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. Not fair. Really. A lifetime defense’s went into action. No schoolmates taunt could touch him.” P.173
“Furry warmth, the tickle of a tail flicking against his ankle. Contentment spilled through him, he was an artisan well of contentment. The down under the feathers of the geese; nothing softer. They buzzed through their bills when they were happy. He lay on his side, feeling a warm exhaustion washdown through him, groundwater, muscles melting. One night when he was five years old, the shadow of the tree outside his window and waved on the floor, and he had felt something like this – felt how big the world was, and how charged everything was with meaning. It made you breathe so deep, made your chest fill so full! In an out, in and out, in the rhythm of the sand underneath them. Geese slept with their heads under one wing.” P.177
Most adults forget this in the flood ID events that the rest of life pours over them, it perhaps they’re disinclined to remember those years at all, filled as they were with foolishness, awkwardness, inappropriately directed, poorly expressed, seldom reciprocated... we prefer not to remember. But remember with courage and you will feel again its biting power; few things since will have made you as joyfully, painfully alive.” P.182
“Just how does moderation in all things explosion pounding twenty-five bottles of atrocious tequila?”
“We’ll, you know-if you say moderation in all things you gotta include moderation itself, see what I mean? So you gotta go crazy once in a while, if you all me.” P.184
I won’t forget! Kevin said. No. You never forget. But you change. You change even if you try not to.”
Tom laughed, tugged at the white hair over one ear. “It’s true. Time change it up changes us in more ways than we could ever imagine. What happens in time...you become somebody else, do you understand?”
His voice shook. “You don’t forget, but Joe you feel about what you remember, that changes.” P. 256
“By nationalizing energy, water and land! What is that but socialism? Yeah, sure. I mean, you’re right. But we used it as a way to give everyone the opportunity to get ahead! Basic resources were made common property, but in the service of a more long distance self interest--“ P.284
“Young sailors laughed as they worked, excited. Immersion in the world‘s violence, Tom thought, the primal thrill with being out in the wind. In the tempest of the world‘s great spin through space.” P.287
“Done for. Relax. Concentrate. He cast his mind deliberately back to his wife, her face, his baby held easily in his hands, and then the images tumbled, a forested cliff over ocean, a window with blue sky and clouds, swirling like bubbles of nothing in the rich blue field of the life he had lived, every day of it husband Pamela’s, and the crying out of his cells for oxygen felt like the pain of all that love given and lost, nothing of it saved, nothing it the implosion of drowning, the euphoria of release--and all the blue world and it’s blue beauty tumbled around him, flashed white and he snapped alert, wanting to speak, pregnant with a though that would never be born.” P.297
300
“Suddenly he realized that what they were saying now wouldn’t really matter. That years would pass and they works drift apart, inevitably. No matter what they said. The futility of talk.” P.306
“It’s not stoned, Kevin thought, we write these things and something both more fragile and more durable. Hank made him see it. You could believe in both because both were true. These were vows, sure enough. But vows were only vows. Intentions double – and no matter how serious, public, heartville, they were still only vows. Promises. The future still them and before them, able to take them anywhere at all. That was their great and terrible freedom. The weird emptiness of the future! How long to fill it in, now, in the present; and how completely we are denied.” P.316
“Ain’t nothing written in stone, bro – but death is written in stone, written in ceramic and bronze to outlive the generations of bodies, minds, spirits, souls – all gone, and gone for good. Lives like leaves. He needed to talk to him, needed his advice and his jokes and his stories and his weirdness.” P.322
“They had walked out here many times, he used to scare Tom with his leaps. He tried one, hurt his arch. Only kids could do it. His moods rushed up and down on the wild tide of their own, heading new ebb records, the curious floods of euphoria. How he loved his grandpa, what friends they had been. It was only by feeling that love that he could do justice to what had happened since. So he had to feel this good, and this bad. He stepped get a big gap between stones, landed perfectly. It was coming back, the art of it. You had to dance over them, keep committing yourself to something more than a normal step. Like life: like that, and that, and that.” P.324