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The Divine Art of Dying: How to Live Well While Dying
WINNER 2015 INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award (Mind, Body, Spirit category)The Divine Art of Dying explores the unique moment when seriously ill people choose to turn toward death. Combining personal stories with solid research on palliative and hospice care, it provides a well-integrated look at the spiritual dimensions of living fully when death is near. Filled with insights from the world’s great wisdom traditions along with references from literature, movies, and current culture, it helps identify the life decisions the dying one and his or her loved ones must make, and what their caregivers can expect.
290 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 20, 2022
Once she chose to forgo further cancer treatment, Karen Speerstra's journal entries tell of her experience of knowing that death was waiting and would not be put off for long. And yet in this shadow, there was a life to live. "The final exam it gives entails just one question: How then shall we live?"
Now, how to do this well? What part was beyond human capacity and had to be handed off to something or someone beyond our understanding?
The book has a co-author, a friend who added his insights as an observer. They drew from most major authors on the subject of dying. There were abundant quotes from others' personal experiences, literature and spiritual guides.
The book's literal theme followed Karen's diagnosis to death. But the chapters became a bit of a salad, bunches of thoughts but not with a clear sense of continuity.
Besides Karen's personal witness, I was most impressed with both authors efforts to reveal a sense of wonder. Death is a liminal experience. We pass over a threshold into something we can only begin to imagine There is something more out there, something we sense in the marrow of our bones but have still yet to capture in the logic of our heads.
Karen's journey ended, as she hoped, by dying well. Her words and witness offer a path for all whose lives must pass.
Now, how to do this well? What part was beyond human capacity and had to be handed off to something or someone beyond our understanding?
The book has a co-author, a friend who added his insights as an observer. They drew from most major authors on the subject of dying. There were abundant quotes from others' personal experiences, literature and spiritual guides.
The book's literal theme followed Karen's diagnosis to death. But the chapters became a bit of a salad, bunches of thoughts but not with a clear sense of continuity.
Besides Karen's personal witness, I was most impressed with both authors efforts to reveal a sense of wonder. Death is a liminal experience. We pass over a threshold into something we can only begin to imagine There is something more out there, something we sense in the marrow of our bones but have still yet to capture in the logic of our heads.
Karen's journey ended, as she hoped, by dying well. Her words and witness offer a path for all whose lives must pass.
December 26, 2014
It's difficult to rate this book because of the emotional intensity of Karen's first person journey of living fully towards death. I was moved by her hospice journal entries, especially the honesty and humor in them. Though I have criticisms of the book's organization and development, I do not intend them to be criticisms in any way of Karen's journey or her insights into it.
I struggled to appreciate the book as a whole work. Though the pairing of Karen's hospice journal entries with literary quotations, brief excerpts from other peoples' journeys involving terminal illness, and selections "From the Caregivers Guidebook" for those caring for the dying seems inspired, the result was less than satisfying. Often the scrapbook-style approach to organization left me dissatisfied, with wide breadth but little depth of discussion beyond small excerpts of individuals' single experiences. While this organizational approach has the potential to manifest a brilliant mosaic of ideas, instead it was highly subjective, with explanations often based on ambiguous assumptions of a shared spiritual or religious understanding.
The book would be stronger if it included more of Karen's reflections and tackled some of the topics it discusses -- from hope, gratitude, gift-giving, tough choices, finality, ambiguity, to celebrating the ordinary -- with an attempt at more balanced presentation of ideas. For instance, if medical, scientific, or psychological studies balanced the emotional and spiritual discussions, the text would feel more authoritative and less tailored to those who are satisfied with nonsecular explanations. I realize that the text honors the mystery one must face when approaching one's own death, however, I think the power of the mystery can still be transformative when we explore the things we do know through science, etc. without simply being satisfied by ambiguous, mystical explanations.
That said, I realize that others likely think differently and place great personal value on spirituality, religion, and mysticism. They'll likely appreciate this book even more than I did. I respect that.
Regardless of my frustrations with the text, it fostered deep thinking and personal reflection for me. Nine years ago, I was present for my grandmother's two-year journey with terminal liver cancer. The experience was more deeply transformative for me than anything else in my life as she was my personal role model. Reading this book allowed me to more deeply value and understand some of my experiences as a caretaker. Most importantly, however, it enabled me to journey again through the experience with my grandmother's perspective in mind. I'm grateful for this book because of the opportunity it allowed for personal reflection and connection to my own feelings about death -- hers and my own.
I struggled to appreciate the book as a whole work. Though the pairing of Karen's hospice journal entries with literary quotations, brief excerpts from other peoples' journeys involving terminal illness, and selections "From the Caregivers Guidebook" for those caring for the dying seems inspired, the result was less than satisfying. Often the scrapbook-style approach to organization left me dissatisfied, with wide breadth but little depth of discussion beyond small excerpts of individuals' single experiences. While this organizational approach has the potential to manifest a brilliant mosaic of ideas, instead it was highly subjective, with explanations often based on ambiguous assumptions of a shared spiritual or religious understanding.
The book would be stronger if it included more of Karen's reflections and tackled some of the topics it discusses -- from hope, gratitude, gift-giving, tough choices, finality, ambiguity, to celebrating the ordinary -- with an attempt at more balanced presentation of ideas. For instance, if medical, scientific, or psychological studies balanced the emotional and spiritual discussions, the text would feel more authoritative and less tailored to those who are satisfied with nonsecular explanations. I realize that the text honors the mystery one must face when approaching one's own death, however, I think the power of the mystery can still be transformative when we explore the things we do know through science, etc. without simply being satisfied by ambiguous, mystical explanations.
That said, I realize that others likely think differently and place great personal value on spirituality, religion, and mysticism. They'll likely appreciate this book even more than I did. I respect that.
Regardless of my frustrations with the text, it fostered deep thinking and personal reflection for me. Nine years ago, I was present for my grandmother's two-year journey with terminal liver cancer. The experience was more deeply transformative for me than anything else in my life as she was my personal role model. Reading this book allowed me to more deeply value and understand some of my experiences as a caretaker. Most importantly, however, it enabled me to journey again through the experience with my grandmother's perspective in mind. I'm grateful for this book because of the opportunity it allowed for personal reflection and connection to my own feelings about death -- hers and my own.
November 1, 2017
There were moments of this book that were worth highlighting and saving, but for the most part, and this is going to be blunt, this book was hokey pokey. Instead of being sprinkled with quotes from other sources, as was so delicately put in the forward, it read at points like an essay. It is possible to have too much.
I know this was about Karen's personal experience with dying. When she was honest about the process of dying, and not making it out to be some light-filled, hokey pokey, Eternal Radiant Self experience, that's when I was interested. I wish she had focused less on buzzwords, and more on being honest and to the point.
The other thing that honestly set me entirely against this book was when she was flippant about the loss that family members would have to endure. "Oh, you'll be fine." That, to be quite frank, pissed me off. Karen's unique situation was that she lived TEN YEARS with cancer and CHOSE to go off treatment. She was 73! That's a huge difference, for example, from my family where my mother lived just short of two years and died at 57.
I feel like this book was primarily targeted to elderly people who actually got a chance to live their lives. It was almost cruel to point out the family of the 65 year old (too old to "die young" but too young to die at the right time) who got a brain tumor and died shortly after, because they hadn't let him "die correctly." How ridiculous to come from someone who got to live with cancer for a decade.
I got the feel of Karen's crowd while reading this book, and honestly, I was not overly impressed. She cited friends in Ashland, Oregon where my sister lives and it raised my hackles. Rich people live in Ashland, Oregon. A lot of them come from California and drive up the land prices so that other people living there can't afford homes. Rich hippies, that's what I got from this. They can afford to preach about cultures they know little about, (no, I didn't miss any of those "cultural quotation sprinkles" that added to the so-called mysticism of dying) when really they shouldn't place their own meanings over other people's traditions.
All in all, sorry that Karen went through this, and I'm sure this book is a great comfort for her friends and family, but for other people? Maybe those that are more grounded like the doctor who referred to himself as a mechanic, this was no good. Ridiculous.
I know this was about Karen's personal experience with dying. When she was honest about the process of dying, and not making it out to be some light-filled, hokey pokey, Eternal Radiant Self experience, that's when I was interested. I wish she had focused less on buzzwords, and more on being honest and to the point.
The other thing that honestly set me entirely against this book was when she was flippant about the loss that family members would have to endure. "Oh, you'll be fine." That, to be quite frank, pissed me off. Karen's unique situation was that she lived TEN YEARS with cancer and CHOSE to go off treatment. She was 73! That's a huge difference, for example, from my family where my mother lived just short of two years and died at 57.
I feel like this book was primarily targeted to elderly people who actually got a chance to live their lives. It was almost cruel to point out the family of the 65 year old (too old to "die young" but too young to die at the right time) who got a brain tumor and died shortly after, because they hadn't let him "die correctly." How ridiculous to come from someone who got to live with cancer for a decade.
I got the feel of Karen's crowd while reading this book, and honestly, I was not overly impressed. She cited friends in Ashland, Oregon where my sister lives and it raised my hackles. Rich people live in Ashland, Oregon. A lot of them come from California and drive up the land prices so that other people living there can't afford homes. Rich hippies, that's what I got from this. They can afford to preach about cultures they know little about, (no, I didn't miss any of those "cultural quotation sprinkles" that added to the so-called mysticism of dying) when really they shouldn't place their own meanings over other people's traditions.
All in all, sorry that Karen went through this, and I'm sure this book is a great comfort for her friends and family, but for other people? Maybe those that are more grounded like the doctor who referred to himself as a mechanic, this was no good. Ridiculous.
October 26, 2014
I have written a review for Sagewoman magazine. It will be out in the spring of 2015. This book is superb.
November 29, 2019
A pleasure to read
This collaborative book features the dying author’s journal entries, her writing partner’s commentaries, and testimonials from family, friends and colleagues.
This collaborative book features the dying author’s journal entries, her writing partner’s commentaries, and testimonials from family, friends and colleagues.
March 12, 2024
Evocative description of process and practice.
October 19, 2025
This was one of the most beautiful books I have ever read about grief and dying
February 8, 2026
A must read.
June 8, 2016
A book that illustrates clearly that living fully and well even while recognizing that death is imminent is truly the way to die divinely and well. I also found it a very practical guide for people facing their own death as well as for their caregivers. The book helped me to see the divine and spiritual aspects of not just death but mostly in life up until the time of death.
April 10, 2017
A new look at dying and how we can make the process better. It gets a bit redundant at the end or runs out of steam, but worth the effort in educating us on some of the issues surrounding this life phase we all pass through.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews