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Rogue Prophet #1

Rogue's Curse

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2000 years after the Rapture, the world still sucks.

Vikardt just wants to die. 2000 years is a long time to live, especially when you’re responsible for the greatest disaster in human history. But only the Stone of Rapture can kill him. So when an archeological team recovers the lost talisman, sweet death finally comes within Vikardt’s grasp.

And a rogue beats him to it. Now the talisman responsible for the infamous Rapture is embedded in Doban’s chest. In a desperate gamble, Vikardt manipulates the king into initiating a manhunt for the rogue.

Doban must seek protection from the unlikeliest of allies: one, an abused monster with an appetite for human flesh; the other, a woman he once left to die in a tomb. Can they let go of the past long enough to keep Doban alive? Or will Vikardt recover the stone and bring about a second Rapture?

Warning: This title contains graphic violence and off-kilter copulation.

287 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 17, 2010

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689 people want to read

About the author

Jason Beymer

3 books112 followers
A permanent fixture at his local coffeehouse, Jason Beymer hunches over his laptop in a caffeine-induced frenzy, jowls slick with muse. He writes fantasy and horror laced with inappropriate humor. Jason worships at the feet of Ray Bradbury, and blogs at TomesandTV.com, where books and TV come together to make sweet, sweet love.

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5 stars
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15 (28%)
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13 (25%)
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5 (9%)
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for Lisa Godina.
96 reviews4 followers
September 11, 2015
When I saw the promo for this book on Amazon it said:

2000 years after the Rapture, the world still sucks.

Vikardt just wants to die. 2000 years is a long time to live, especially when you’re responsible for the greatest disaster in human history. But only the Stone of Rapture can kill him. So when an archeological team recovers the lost talisman, sweet death finally comes within Vikardt’s grasp. Read more>

Oh. I thought. this looks promising. It wasn't how I thought it would be but I did learn I need to click on Read More to fully understand the premise and to take note of the caution notes of this book.

The Rogue's character reminds me of a drunk over hormonal undersexed deviant. He is not what you would call your normal hero in any sense of the word but he does have a redeeming quality even if he won't admit it. The talisman has a sarcastic tone to it that I did find humorous at times and obnoxious at other times. The use of Bible stories that have been twisted by man, ie Jonas and the Bovine, are a little disconcerting. Then there is a King with an over-inflated ego, a Prince with blind ambitions, a Queen with a binge/purge eating disorder that has a whinny personality of an self absorbed twit. Thus is the Rogue's Curse.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Janelle.
11 reviews27 followers
April 9, 2011
It's disgusting, vulgar, vile, and one of the funniest books I have ever read! I definitely recommend it!
22 reviews
December 3, 2023
Rogue's Curse, the debut novel in Jason Beymer's Rogue Prophet series, is a wonderfully off kilter tale that I couldn't bring myself to put down. The roguish, lewd and often times crude humor had me laughing out loud late into the night while the never ending action kept me enthralled and wanting to know what happened next! Truly, this was a fun romp with a cast full of memorable characters that you'll want to revisit again and again.

Initially, I have to admit I was a bit skeptical about reviewing this novel. While the blurb sounded interesting, I was a little concerned about whether this would be a novel that I would actually really enjoy. Let me assure readers, the synopsis does not do this novel justice...Okay, well maybe the last sentence does because that's what actually sold me! I suppose with words like 'Rapture' and 'Prophet' one conjures images of stuffy characters and dry subject matter, but in this case that couldn't have been further from the truth.

The characters, however, are what made this a truly memorable novel for me, especially Doban. I mean, who couldn't love a man who names his horse 'Brown Bastard'? While he's an extremely simplistic man content to live up the easy standards of Rogue-hood, i.e. getting drunk and having lots of sex, he's a wildly entertaining character. Despite, or perhaps because of the fact that his intelligence is often called into question-as well as his judgement, his morals and his ethics-I found him to be completely endearing in his observations and actions. It's definitely a rare thing to see such a lovable anti-hero that no matter what he does, you still can't help rooting for him. But, by far Beymer's neatest trick was making me love the Stone of Rapture. The personification of the Stone was spot on, the cheeky snide humor allowing it to have a similar yet separate voice from Doban. Through the Stone we gain insight into the root of all the greedy scheming to lay hands on it and why everyone is so bent on killing the Rogue to possess it, most for very egocentric reasons. And while I would love to prattle on about the wonderful cast of characters aside from these main two, I fear that it would be impossible to go into them all, because let's face it, every single one deserves mention. Let it suffice to say they are all wholly unique, flawed (some more so than others), and completely unashamed of their sins and short comings. Each of them is also nicely developed and explored making this a stunning and unexpected ensemble piece.

The world building in itself is also quite creative with the satirical world being run by imbeciles and power hungry simpletons ruled by their nether regions. The highly developed characterization helps to aid in the settings of the story as the settings are perfectly tailored to help reflect the characters. Or rather, I should say the atmospheres of the settings do. For example, Doban is perfectly suited to the Rot Hearted Tavern, with its sense of 'anything goes short of blood shed' ruling. And yet, when the blood (and entrails) start flying, the odd sense of glee gleaned from it is still somehow fitting to his personality as he is never one to shy away from getting his hands dirty...should the deed benefit him in some way, that is. Also worth mentioning is the wonderful myths and lore created by Beymer about the Stone. While we get a great sense of the Stone's desires and purpose, we are left ambiguous on its ruling desires and ultimate plan because this clever rock most certainly has some form of plan for itself. This definitely leaves the door wide open for future novels to further explore and I look forward to seeing what mischief will be caused in the name of the Talisman in future novels.

Overall, this novel had a fun sense of adventure and a sick yet satisfying sense of humor that put me in mind of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. This is definitely one series, and author, that I will be following closely and highly recommend to anyone who loves a good laugh. I definitely can't wait for the next installment in this highly addictive and enjoyable series!
Profile Image for Wenj.
246 reviews8 followers
January 18, 2011
Review provided by Black Lagoon Reviews:

Rogue's Curse, the debut novel in Jason Beymer's Rogue Prophet series, is a wonderfully off kilter tale that I couldn't bring myself to put down. The roguish, lewd and often times crude humor had me laughing out loud late into the night while the never ending action kept me enthralled and wanting to know what happened next! Truly, this was a fun romp with a cast full of memorable characters that you'll want to revisit again and again.

Initially, I have to admit I was a bit skeptical about reviewing this novel. While the blurb sounded interesting, I was a little concerned about whether this would be a novel that I would actually really enjoy. Let me assure readers, the synopsis does not do this novel justice...Okay, well maybe the last sentence does because that's what actually sold me! I suppose with words like 'Rapture' and 'Prophet' one conjures images of stuffy characters and dry subject matter, but in this case that couldn't have been further from the truth.

The characters, however, are what made this a truly memorable novel for me, especially Doban. I mean, who couldn't love a man who names his horse 'Brown Bastard'? While he's an extremely simplistic man content to live up the easy standards of Rogue-hood, i.e. getting drunk and having lots of sex, he's a wildly entertaining character. Despite, or perhaps because of the fact that his intelligence is often called into question-as well as his judgement, his morals and his ethics-I found him to be completely endearing in his observations and actions. It's definitely a rare thing to see such a lovable anti-hero that no matter what he does, you still can't help rooting for him. But, by far Beymer's neatest trick was making me love the Stone of Rapture. The personification of the Stone was spot on, the cheeky snide humor allowing it to have a similar yet separate voice from Doban. Through the Stone we gain insight into the root of all the greedy scheming to lay hands on it and why everyone is so bent on killing the Rogue to possess it, most for very egocentric reasons. And while I would love to prattle on about the wonderful cast of characters aside from these main two, I fear that it would be impossible to go into them all, because let's face it, every single one deserves mention. Let it suffice to say they are all wholly unique, flawed (some more so than others), and completely unashamed of their sins and short comings. Each of them is also nicely developed and explored making this a stunning and unexpected ensemble piece.

The world building in itself is also quite creative with the satirical world being run by imbeciles and power hungry simpletons ruled by their nether regions. The highly developed characterization helps to aid in the settings of the story as the settings are perfectly tailored to help reflect the characters. Or rather, I should say the atmospheres of the settings do. For example, Doban is perfectly suited to the Rot Hearted Tavern, with its sense of 'anything goes short of blood shed' ruling. And yet, when the blood (and entrails) start flying, the odd sense of glee gleaned from it is still somehow fitting to his personality as he is never one to shy away from getting his hands dirty...should the deed benefit him in some way, that is. Also worth mentioning is the wonderful myths and lore created by Beymer about the Stone. While we get a great sense of the Stone's desires and purpose, we are left ambiguous on its ruling desires and ultimate plan because this clever rock most certainly has some form of plan for itself. This definitely leaves the door wide open for future novels to further explore and I look forward to seeing what mischief will be caused in the name of the Talisman in future novels.

Overall, this novel had a fun sense of adventure and a sick yet satisfying sense of humor that put me in mind of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. This is definitely one series, and author, that I will be following closely and highly recommend to anyone who loves a good laugh. I definitely can't wait for the next installment in this highly addictive and enjoyable series!
Profile Image for Sara.
Author 1 book191 followers
December 21, 2014
Description: 2000 years after the rapture, the talisman responsible returns. The original owner seeks it but the stone has chosen a rogue as its companion. Doban, the rogue, must outwit his pursuers and trust the woman he once betrayed. This book eludes my ability for an easy description. It took me two chapters to decide the humor was intentional (hey, I’m slow sometimes).

Overall assessment: The book sucked me in despite my better judgment. The humor kept my smiling and the plot kept me guessing. This is one of the books that I am ashamed to admit I enjoyed.

World-building: The idea intrigued me. It’s a medieval (mostly) world with bits of technology and bits of magic. It’s as politically incorrect as possible, with parts guaranteed to be offensive to just about everyone. But it’s one of those situations where you giggle even as you wince. The world building is uneven, with many things left unexplained.

Characters: Doban is unlikable but so amusing I kept reading anyway. All the characters lack depth but they do so in the best traditions of humor and satire. The secondary characters, also unlikable, sparkle with exaggerated characteristics. Despite not liking a single character, I kept reading—mostly because I kept chuckling.

Plot and pacing: Fast paced, action and humor on every page. Horrible humor. Juvenile humor. The type of humor that I rarely enjoy. Yet, I couldn’t help my amusement. The characters dodge death or maiming time after time and get little chance to stop and breath. Mr. Beymer makes fun of every stereotype of traditional fantasy and plays on old-school sword and sorcery tropes.

Editing: Solid. There are some typos and grammar errors but not many. Within the (admittedly poor) current standards for the publishing industry.

Warnings: Vulgarity, sex (not deeply detailed), and violence

Final thoughts: If you’re looking for something funny and don’t get offended easily, then give this one a try.
Profile Image for A Book Vacation.
1,485 reviews730 followers
May 21, 2011
This is a fantastic read. I will admit that I began the book with trepidation, since it “contains graphic violence, off-kilter copulation, and nasty rogues.” Therefore, I did a test. Before I began reading, I read a short excerpt, to which my reaction was “Ewwwwwww!” along with much laughter. Well, anything that can gross me out and keep me laughing at the same time is well worth a read, and I was right! I found that the “graphic violence, off kilter copulation, and nasty rogues” were ingenious aspects providing much hilarity to the reader.

Beymer’s novel is like nothing I have ever read before. I really liked the setting, which combines the past with the future: castles still stand and kings still reign, but the rapture has already come and gone. The unconventional characters were another aspect I highly enjoyed, as they are both witty and fascinating. I enjoyed them all, which is a rarity for me. The off kilter banter and escapades taking place between the characters really sold me on this novel. For a short novel, the characters have a lot of depth and it is easy to connect with, and love, them. The fact that I even love the huge man eating monsters is a testament to Beymer’s wonderful writing capabilities.

To read my full review:

http://bookvacations.wordpress.com/20...
110 reviews2 followers
July 15, 2011
Jason’s off kilter stories are definitely entertaining. Where he is planning to go with this one is definitely a question at the start. (To catch a predator spoof). Remember, the main character is a Rogue (definition: A dishonest or unprincipled man, A person whose behavior one disapproves of but who is nonetheless likable or attractive, A person or thing that behaves in an aberrant, faulty, or unpredictable way) or is it? So, fair warning, if you are offended by anything (rewritten bibles, cannibalism –kind of- drugs, mental illness, rape – attempted-, animal cruelty, std’s, generally gross and disgusting behavior) you probably will not want to read this book. If, however, you can have a sense of humor, and can enjoy going from the ridiculous to the absurd and back you will really enjoy this. It is a fun trip, there is justice (of a sort) love (in a way) and surprisingly enough even compassion.
Profile Image for Jennifer Gryczkowski.
86 reviews48 followers
March 28, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. It's full of irreverent humor, horny men with no moral compasses or scruples, and graphic violence. It's funny and entertaining and totally inappropriate.

My one gripe? The cover doesn't do this book justice. The front cover is completely lackluster; with a gothic font and three silhouettes in a forest, it looks like some uninspired young-adult fantasy novel. The blurb on the back is uninteresting and doesn't set this story apart from others in the genre. The tagline is the best part: "2000 years after the Rapture… the world still sucks." But overall, the cover really doesn't convey the fun and vulgar humor that awaits inside this book.

I definitely recommend Rogue's Curse. The prophet is a suicidal, self-serving bastard; the rogue is a smart-ass who survives mostly by luck; and the talisman is a snarky little bitch. It's great entertainment.

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Profile Image for Heather.
675 reviews3 followers
February 22, 2016
This was a pretty good story. Lots of snarky characters. Lots of sex talk by gross, dirty, undesirable that can't garner female attention because they are yucky. It's kinda weird that the blue stone implants itself inside Doban's chest and talks to him, more like berates him. The stone is like having a conscious that thinks your an idiot and doesn't mind saying so. You see the destruction of greed. Everyone wants the stone at any cost but doesn't really know what it can do. The description of the characters paints a great picture. The troll-like characters that eat people are so gross but also endearing that they were drawn to Mona in a motherly sort of way. Generally--good book.
17 reviews
September 7, 2015
Completely uninterested

I always finish books, but this one... I tried to keep going, but I only made it like a quarter of the way in. The main character is entirely unlikable and unsympathetic, and I was just completely uninterested in him. Also, the modern day references felt jarring, yes, I know it's supposed to be a post apocalyptic thing with the world having grown back to medieval, but it just felt strange and out of place, especially the weird to catch a predator bit.
Profile Image for Samantha.
89 reviews2 followers
January 6, 2015
Utter rubbish, I gave it 2 stars because despite how rubbish it was, I did find myself wanting to finish the book to find out what happened, and some parts of it were really laugh out loud ridiculously funny. I'm not sure that this is what the author intended but it's what happened for me.

Can't say I'll bother with the rest of the series though....
Profile Image for Shelby.
265 reviews4 followers
October 18, 2015
Piecemeal.

This book was poorly planned an highly anachronistic. While I expected a rousing tale of magic in the Middle Ages, I got a Dungeons and Dragons-sequel story with religious undertones, undeveloped plot/setting, and fantasy characters in modern dress. The idea is there, the execution is not.
Profile Image for Michael.
22 reviews
November 30, 2015
I received this book free from a goodreads giveaway.
One of the better books I've read this year. Loved the main character some of the stuff he said was pretty funny. I pretty much liked all the characters each one is awesome in their own way. Never a dull moment in this book.
Profile Image for Kaija Rayne.
Author 15 books67 followers
June 20, 2016
A rollicking good time! I love Jason's turn of phrase. Can't wait to read more of his work. Literally laugh out loud funny at times, wrapped up in a great fantasy.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews

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