First & Then

by Emma Mills

Devon Tennyson wouldn't change a thing. She's happy watching Friday night games from the bleachers, silently crushing on best friend Cas, and blissfully ignoring the future after high school. But the universe has other plans. It delivers Devon's cousin Foster, an unrepentant social outlier with a surprising talent for football, and the obnoxiously superior and maddeningly attractive star running back, Ezra, right where she doesn't want them: first into her P.E. class and then into every other aspect of her life.

Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights in this contemporary novel about falling in love with the unexpected boy, with a new brother, and with yourself.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Fiction, Young Adult Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Sports

272 pages, Hardcover

First published October 13, 2015

About the author

Emma Mills is the author of several novels for Young Adults.

She holds a PhD in cell biology and is known for her YouTube channel, Elmify. She is also the co-creator and co-host of the "life skills" channel How to Adult, which ended in 2016.

Mills lives in St. Louis, Missouri.

Reviews

[len ❀ · Rating 5 out of 5]

RE-READ: 8/30/20
This book has brought me nothing but pure joy and laughter. I read this when I was in my senior year of high school and I was able to see myself through Devon. Now I'm a sophomore in college, and nothing has changed. I'm still like Devon, an introverted people pleaser who has sadly still not taken much interest in clubs and extracurricular activities and has not found something I am truly good at.

Truly one of the best YA contemporaries I've read. Thank you Emma Mills for writing this. I've read all her books and this is definitely her best work in my opinion, with This Adventure Ends following second and Foolish Hearts third.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

I looked up at Ezra Lyney, who was, according to Rachel Woodson's crap article, one of the best high school running backs in the country. He was also best friend to Foster. He left the charts in generosity and loyalty and honor. At least in my book.

Humorous, sarcastic, loveable and relatable (in some ways), this delivered much more than what the blurb offered. I have never felt so much happiness while reading, until now.

In First & Then, we follow the life of Devon Tennyson who, well, is your typical high-school senior trying her best to finish her last year and get into college. Except . . . it isn't going very well. While she isn't having the best college application life process, she enjoys her Friday nights sitting on the bleachers watching the football game, secretly crushing on her best friend Cas, and adapting to the new life with her foster cousin, Foster.

But then Foster's kick is seen in gym class and he gets the opportunity to play varsity in the football team if he catches up and follows the rules in order to make it. With the help of Ezra, the best and highest in the team, he is sure he'll be able to make it. On the other hand, Devon is trying to cooperate and see what good she can get from this. When she's offered the chance of being a journalist as something to help her for her lack of extracurriculars, she takes the offer of interviewing Ezra and learning about him. Little did she know that everything said about Ezra is not quite what she expected, as she seems to be dismissing the feelings for Cas and entering the world of Ezra, a world she never knew she would ever grow to anticipate.

When I was a freshman, I had braces and more pimples than I could count. I didn't wear makeup. I didn't own short-shorts. I had never tasted alcohol, and I certainly didn't know how or why you would ever want to blow anything.

I can't say enough how much joy this book brought me. I laughed, I smiled, I groaned, I ughed, and I rolled my eyes. Emma Mills has a way with simple and realistic words, writing what YA contemporary romance truly is and what it should be. From the dialogues to the realistic high-school situations, the main character in this, Devon, has truly been not only one of the best characters I have read about. Although not displayed, you can tell she has her own issues that aren't portrayed and shown, but as a reader, you can analyze them. She's hilarious, witty, and has a personality that may or may not take time to understand because of who she is. The thing is, we share the exact same one.

Devon is someone struggling with her last year and struggling with her college application. Let me tell you, as a high school senior, I was able to relate in every possible damn way. She doesn't have any ambitions to share into applying to her application; she isn't the type of person that will go out and help out at an animal shelter, medical center, the library, the school, or anywhere where volunteer hours are acceptable to be completed. Devon is someone trying to make the best out of it, but she isn't doing the very best, and I can't tell you enough how much I loved her because of that. She had character development as she was growing to love herself, her new family addition, and the boy she least expected to fall in love with. Her humor, attitude, and the way she acted with everyone were like reading about me—someone trying to get along with everyone while embarrassing herself because of the conversations she was somewhat able to form, but also the ones she couldn't form.

When you read this, you'll notice Devon isn't a smart person, but that was why she touched a special place in my heart. As a future hopeful college student, I want to take the definition of life as Devon took it. She's like the true embodiment of a YA contemporary realistic character, especially in the year this book was published up to now. Devon is someone who I wish I was best friends with. She's the person I want to go watch movies with, spend Friday nights sitting down in the bleachers watching the football game pretending I care or just skip the game and go back home to binge-watch our favorite tv series.

The character development of Devon was ideally slow. She had to learn from herself and from the people she least expected in her life to make it better, and the way she handled every situation she was in was refreshing, especially when she wasn't afraid to defend herself and Foster. The way her relationship with Foster grew made me almost tear up, as their love began as unnatural love but then grew into a more special bond that she didn't think she'd end up becoming like an older sister to him. The relationship and friendship between Devon and Foster are one of the most supportive ones, and it gets to the point where the realness hits you really hard because you can't do anything but want the best for them.

I can't fully empathize on the full love I grew for Devon without repeating everything. She is someone pursuing general happiness for herself and for the people around her. There were so many times her lines felt like I was reading about my life.

I felt like I had never done anything. I had never suffered. I had never triumphed. I was a middle-class kid from the burbs who had managed to be rather unspectacular for the last seventeen years.

First & Then has one of the most beautiful portrayals of love, whether its friend love, true love and/or family love. Family acceptance, support, and love in this are such major key roles and are portrayed in very healthy manners. Devon's parents are the most supportive parents I've encountered. Their love for her and Foster is equally different, and I can't explain how important these displays are in books. Devon's mom was one of the most beautiful additions to this story. She is what a mother should be: accepting, loving, and supportive. She wanted the very best for her daughter and I really saw my mother when I read her lines. She isn’t angry or isn’t forcing Devon to have a 4.0 GPA, or even higher. She is simply being a mother—the woman who raised her daughter the way she is. And I think that was important, to see the family dynamics in this as important, because it is, and it’s important to note that parents should be parents, not people who force their child into doing more than they can, becoming the top student and turning them into selfish people. Mills did such a wonderful job with this portrayal, and I can’t wait to read her other books to see more important portrayals displayed correctly.

My mom poured me a glass of milk, squeezed in a healthy dose of chocolate syrup, and told me that this just wasn’t the universe where Cas and I were right for each other, simple as that. Maybe in another time or place, maybe if he were different or if I were different.
“But you don’t want to make yourself different for a boy,” she said. “You don’t want to make yourself different for anyone.”
My reply was something halfway between a sob and “You just don’t get it.” But my mother persisted.
“Someday someone will like you for you, just the way you are. And as much as you like Cas, this other person will be so much better for you.”

The relationship between Devon and Ezra was one of cutest relationships I’ve read about. It is so slow but oh, so well developed. They are both characters trying to understand the other, but I have to give points for the intelligence of Devon’s analytical skills. She didn’t see Ezra as some cocky football star who got all the girls and was an egotistical jerk who used his football talent to embarrass his whole team because he knew he was the best. I felt bad for him sometimes, especially when he was in bad situations and awkward positions. For example, he wasn't the party type kind of person everyone actually thought he was. The whole football team didn't see Ezra as just Ezra, they saw him as everyone else did: an All-America football star who wants nothing but top stats and ranks. But then Devon came in, and she didn’t believe everything she was told about him, but instead, she asked and she found out for herself. She not only found out but she also saw. She saw Ezra as someone who was also trying to get his senior year over with. She saw in him what others didn’t see: a teenage boy who needed company.

“Were you friends?”
A pause. “Yeah.”
“Shit,” I said.
“Do you want to cry?” Foster said.
“Foster.” Scolding Foster came natural in almost any situation.
“I'm just saying, a lot of guys don't think it's, like, socially acceptable to cry. But you could cry if you wanted. Because that's stupid.”

Ezra was criticized but also praised. As we learn more about him and see him appear more in the life of Devon, we see that he is also someone with his own issues that nobody else knows. He’s alone even though he seems to be popular, he hates the parties he goes too, he can’t swim, he has a tragic past, he’s blamed for unfair stuff, and he’s only recognized for the talent he shows. But he’s much more than that. He shows much more and has so much more capability, but society is so bored that we only look at the bad qualities in people and judge them for what we see and not what we know. Whereas Ezra is introduced as cold-hearted, rude, and even conceited, he is the opposite. He is honest, bold, caring, heartwarming, and truly a boy anyone could fall in love with. Additionally, he becomes a major impact in the lives of Devon and Foster, I was so thankful. Furthermore, Ezra was someone I instantly loved. Then it got to the point where I adored him and wanted nothing but the very best for him. I admit, I even almost cried during a specific scene he couldn’t get away from, and I was so thankful for the coincidences I don’t believe in that Devon was surprisingly there, helping him and basically saving him, unbothered and unashamed.

“I don't know how to talk like they do,” Ezra continued after a moment. “But . . . I feel about you the way they feel in those books. The way those guys feel about those girls they don't always deserve.”

In addition, Mills has got to seriously be one of the most realistic writers out there. Ever! I can’t believe I waited so long to read this without any expectations and, gladly, went into it without any, because I probably got more than what I would’ve had. While there are things you wish to change, there can be personal touches in this for many because of the reality you see. The Jane Austen references, the girl hate and girl love, the slut-shaming, platonic relationships, friendship towers building up, romantic attractions, football games, intended puns, realistic jokes, judgment, and overall, the feeling of first love, they were all things I adored from this.

For one of the most personal lines I read in this, it really touched home. It touched me, hard, and I almost cried because of how personally relatable it was. Devon truly was a character who needed someone to help her and change her life not for the worse and not for the way others wanted her, but for the ways she wanted to see herself in, and it's this one:

“Devon,” she said, and somehow it felt like the voice speaking was a little more Isobel and a little less Mrs. Wentworth. “Do you want to go to college?”
No one had ever asked me that. College was the natural order of things. According to my parents, between birth and death, there had to be college."
“I don't know what else I would do,” I said.
“Join the army,” was her simple reply.
I made a face. “I hate being yelled at.”
“The Peace Corps, then.”
A choking noise erupted from my throat, something like a cast being strangled. “I hate being selfless.”
“Alright.” The twitching around Mrs. Wentworth's lips started up again. “Get a job.”
“Just start working? Just like that.”
“Lots of people do it. Some very successful people never went to college.”
“Yeah. Look at Hollywood.”
“There's one. Go to Hollywood. Become a star.”
“But I can't act. I've never even talked in a play.”
“So join drama club.”
“Oh yeah, chorus member number twelve will be my ticket to stardom.”
“Why not?”
“First, you have to like doing that kind of stuff, which I don't, and second, you have to be good at it, which I'm not.”
“So what are you good at?”
“I don't know. Nothing, really.”

As for the last thing I'll mention, I didn't hate one single thing about this, and that's saying a lot! From the side characters to the other high school football teams, to the overall plot, I adored everything in this. And yes, I adored Cas, even though I felt bad for him. He had such a wonderful friendship with Devon but I wasn't able to see them together, probably because his feelings were possibly revealed later on, as Devon started getting closer to Ezra, and he wasn't someone I felt bad for like I did with Ezra. Nonetheless, I still adored his character. I loved his care for Devon and the potential they even held, admittedly, but I couldn't blame Devon for leaving her feelings for him behind. They seemed better off as friends instead because of the idealistic feelings they started sharing for each other as time went by.

I 11/10 recommend this for literally every contemporary fan. Overall, just read an Emma Mills book.

When you love something, you can't be happy all the time, can you? Like, that's why you love it. It makes you feel all kinds of things, not just happy. It can hurt, it can make you fucking mad, but... it makes you feel something, you know?

[jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

a recipe guide to books by emma mills:

3 cups sunshine
1/4 cup fluffiest of fluff
1 tablespoon happiness
a pinch of sprinkles

mix together and bake at the highest level of love for about 300 pages. finish and enjoy your perfectly crafted book of contemporary goodness.


ive said it before and i will say it again - emma mills has perfected the feel-good story. this had friendship, and family, and love, and school shenanigans, and parties, and sports. pretty much everything you could want from a contemporary. her stories honestly put me in the best mood - a mood where i never want summer to end, being surrounded by those i care about, without a single care in the world. her books just make me want to live my best life and i am here for it.

↠ 4 stars

[Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actual rating : 2.5 stars (because Ezra)

▶ In the end, I got the impression that First & Then was trying to address way too many issues without really giving them the time of a day.

Cut off the Darcy-ish romance slooowly built that I genuinely enjoyed (with the important exception of one of the most anticlimactic ending I've ever read - Ugh, just ugh), the reader makes its way in a widespread confusion :

☑ You've got truthful "WTF" moment where you realize that you have no idea what the characters are doing - think scenes cut short, weird transitions, a general "WHERE DOES THAT EVEN COMES FROM?" feeling, and characters who pop up from nowhere.

☑ You've got important issues that aren't addressed properly/left unresolved : in a nutshell, a mum in rehab (maybe? I guess?), a teenage pregnancy (what is the point of Marabelle's character really?), a weird gambler-survivor guy (don't get me started about that Emir guy : who is this person and why should I care for him? Huh?), a crazy asshole who puts a psycho move when it's convenient (but we know nothing about him whatsoever, and guess what : it isn't handled at all either), an attempt at girl friendship (resolved in two pages), how to deal with grief (completely superficial and lacking feels) and big revelations that felt flat because they came out of nowhere. None of these issues are properly dealt with.

☑ You've got flat characters whose names I didn't bother to remember (except Cas, the so-called best friend, whose name I do remember but whose personality I never saw - not that I was interested in this jerk in the first place, to be honest).

☑ You've got an uneven pacing and an uneven writing, if that makes sense : if some parts made me really smile, others made me roll my eyes something fierce (because HELLO, cheesy lines), especially in the first 30% (that got me bored) and the last 40% (WTF and cheese blended together). Yes, I do realize that the only part that remains is the middle-ish 30-60%. Don't judge.

To be fair, I did appreciate Devon's growth toward her cousin, Foster, who's been living with her family since the beginning of the story. If I wanted to slap her at first, she started opening her eyes wider and slowly, slowly, became aware that fitting in wasn't the only life goal we could pursue. Good for you, girl. Note that I didn't hate her. I mostly felt indifferent to her, to be honest.

As I did appreciate several of Devon and Ezra's (non) interactions, because I have a soft spot for guys who have the communicating skills of a turtle. I really do. Don't ask.

Too bad everything felt flat and cheapened in the whole mess that was this novel. Sorry, I guess I'm just mad. I hate when the last thought that comes to my mind after closing a book is : WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT? You don't add important issues to a story only to let them hanging in the air somewhere.

And you do NOT ruin a kissing scene I was looking forward to read.

*arc kindly provided by Macmillan Children's Publishing Group through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*

For more of my reviews, please visit:

[emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

if you hate:
- girl hate
- judgmental characters
- slut shaming
- gender expectations

then this is a book that will really annoy you for the first 2/3 or so before character development solves it all!!

also, if you like:
- football
- jane austen
- misunderstood jocks

then this is for you. i only like one of those things and i managed to survive.

this was mainly just okay, but look what it managed to tackle!! wow. all wrapped up in that cover. (i am a heart eyes emoji right now.)

bottom line: UNDERNEATH THE DUST JACKET OF THIS HARDCOVER THERE'S ANOTHER DESIGN. (the thing i feel most passionate about when it comes to this book is its exterior aesthetic so i'm running with that.

[Jaime Arkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I simply can’t measure the love I have for this book… well I guess I can, with these 5 stars I’m giving it, but I just don’t feel like it accurately represents just HOW much I actually loved this story. I couldn’t stop reading and ended up staying up way too late just to finish.



Can I tell you all a secret? I have never read a single Jane Austen book. Ever.



Okay, stop with the astonished looks. I will tell you this. I am not much for the classics. I told myself I was going to read more of them… I just haven’t.

I promise I will read them… or one… or something.

BUT the reason I’m saying that is because this book summary sells it as Pride & Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights.

Did you guys know I’m a bit of a sucker for sports related stories? First & Then kind of revolves around football… I mean it’s definitely a part of the story but it’s not the whole story.

Devon Tennyson is kind of drifting through her senior year of high school, she’s spent ages crushing over her best friend Cas, and once an only child, her house and life is now being overrun by her younger long-lost cousin’s presence.

I think what I loved most in this story were the relationships and the way they were explored. Devon and Foster are kind of forced into a type of brother/sister relationship which you can tell from the beginning that she kind of resents. Foster, for his part, seems nice and even a bit sweet, even though he’s a bit closed off about his emotions and feelings, but his life has been anything but nice and sweet. Despite his history I loved his protectiveness towards Devon and I really enjoyed their dynamic together.

Devon herself is totally my kind of girl. She’s funny and snarky and there were times that I found myself literally laughing out loud while reading parts of this book.

“Linds?”
“Yeah. Lindsay. You know.”
Oh I knew. A cute nickname was the first mile marker on Gag Highway…

Or

High school parties are breeding grounds for idiotic people with too much drama and not enough sense.

Of course there is a boy… or two. I mentioned Cas, Devon’s best friend earlier, and I honestly really loved their ease together and their friendship. I thought I really liked him… but then something happens at the end that really just crushed me. I’m not telling you what it is, you’ll figure it out when you read it, but let’s just say his swoon factor dropped exponentially.

The second boy is Ezra… Devon has Ezra pegged as a huge asshole when she realizes that they are the only seniors in a freshman gym class together and he treats her like crap. Oh… Ezra is an all American football player… best on the team and going to the college of his choosing. But he’s not the guy everyone has him pegged as and I really, really enjoyed the evolution of their relationship. My only complaint… more kissing please! LOL

Overall a wonderfully told story of love and friendship, family and loss, and finding the things that drive you. And yes… it’s my understanding that fans of Austen will recognize the references while reading… even if I didn’t.

Put this one on your TBR list now… pre-order it and then wait patiently by your mailbox because you NEED to read this one as soon as you possibly can!

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

Last week’s trip to the library/NetGalley was all due to status updates by Goodreads’ friends that hooked me like a fish immediately and had me clicking the request button without looking at ratings, reviews, synopses, nada, so it’s those friends who are owed the credit (Blame??? Guess the perspective depends on whether you like me or hate me) for this week’s reviews. First & Then got snatched up from the ol’ liburrrrrrry due to Liz adding it to her TBR with the note . . .

“Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights

fdkjaflajknf!”

When I saw that, I was more excited than Kristen Bell getting a surprise visit from a sloth. (Google it if you’re not familiar. So worth it.) My reaction upon finishing? I loved this sucker more than chicken nuggets and that’s saying a lot because . . .



Liz was right – this was somewhat Pride & Prejudice-y and it definitely had more than a bit of football and it was just soooooooooooooooooooooo sweet. Adorably sweet. Don’t agree with me????



Just kidding. Maybe.

Now, I know the younger kids are going to see my picture and think, “what would an old hag of 29 like this woman know about being a kid?!?!?!” Well, diddly shit probably, but I do know that my general state is anywhere between annoyed and full-on stabby and somehow this book made me feel so smiley and it was so flippin’ cute I couldn’t put it down. If you have a young adult in your life, I highly recommend this one. And you should definitely listen to me, because I’m super hip and am down with all the things kids like . . .



If nothing else, I am aware of the fact that . . .

“Close your eyes, real tight, and then count to three hundred. That’s all you have to do. You just count to three hundred, and when you open your eyes, five minutes will have passed. And even if it hurts or things are shitty or you don’t know what to do, you just made it through five whole minutes. And when it feels like you can’t go on, you just close your eyes and do it again. That’s all you need. Just five minutes at a time.”

Ugh. My feeeeeeeelings again. Abort! Abort!

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I DID IT! I READ 7 BOOKS IN ONE WEEK! I HAVE WON BOOKTUBE-A-THON 2017!! *screams *falls into a heap on the floor

This book was cute... not my favorite contemporary but it was cute and I liked the second half quite a lot... It wasn't anything completely special though... but it was cute!!

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this, but I didn’t love it. I have high hopes that Foolish Hearts is going to be the perfect Emma Mills book for me and I can’t wait to read it!

[Whitney Atkinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sad I didn't enjoy this to its maximum potential, because I adore the person who wrote it. Emma is so hilarious and genuine and articulate in her youtube videos, and I've been watching her since middle school. Her book, however, I'm not a huge fan of. She's a talented writer because she's SO incredibly smart, but this book had no drive. There was no real plot to it, and it almost felt as if the wrong person was telling the story. It focuses heavily on a character that's not the main character, and reading about him from an outside perspective was boring. I found myself struggling to get through this (around page 100 I considered a DNF but pushed through). This book is filled with football terminology, football games, football players, football parties, etc. and I was extremely bored by that, as well. I see the potential in Emma's writing and characters, since some bits and pieces did come together to make a quite touching story, but this is one of those contemporaries that are just light and happy and angsty and I'm not a huge fan of them anymore, so I was just waiting for something more interesting to happen, but it never did.

I hear her newest one coming out later this year is really good, and so since I love her, I'm going to give that one a try as well! But this one wasn't my cup of tea.

[Chelsea ✨Arielle’s Nebular Ally and Team Acrux✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When you love something, you can’t be happy all the time, can you? Like, that’s why you love it. It makes you feel all kinds of things, not just happy. It can hurt, it can make you fucking mad, but…it makes you feel something, you know?”

While both underwhelming and absolutely perfect, this was exactly what I needed. I say this because I am having the hardest time lately, between work, home life, and my little fur babies, writing reviews. It’s starting to bother me that I am losing my reviewing time-I find the moments when I write a review so cathartic, and to lose that has been devastating. My time on GR has even dwindled. But I’m not one to stop because it’s simply difficult. So here I am, making time to write a review for a book that not only kept me sane with its understated simplicity, but with it’s all around alluring characters and smooth, albeit not what I expected at all, story-line.

We reached my car, which was a shameful distance from the curb and sticking into the street at a really awkward angle. I couldn’t parallel park to save my life.

I can’t say I fell head over heels for this like I had imagined or hoped I would, but there was just something so charming hidden deep within these pages. I find, many times, that my favorite stories are those that I feel like I could have lived-IE, realistic fiction. It’s not enough to write a cheesy story that plays on the clichés of high school. I like to feel as though I’m trapped in the pages along with all the other characters. And while this one wasn’t perfect, it certainly made me smile, laugh, and extremely happy.

"It’s weird. Sometimes it feels like we’re still the ones in the pictures, and everything that happened after happened to other people. And then sometimes we’re the other people, and the strangers are in the frames.”

Perhaps one of my favorite things about this novel, besides the quiet, brooding male-lead, was the references to Jane Eyre. I’ve never personally read anything by Jane Eyre, but I found it a quirky defining character trait for our MC. 'If I were Jane, I’d say something like’, ‘If this were a Jane Eyre novel, I’d carry myself’ etc etc. It was cute and funny, and I found that it kept me engaged, for whatever reason. And keep in mind, I didn’t say those lines even closely to how she says them, but I wanted to kind of give you an idea of what she was like.

"I really think you should, you know, give that, uh…soup…a chance.”
“Soup?”
“You know. That soup we were talking about. I think you should give it a shot. It’s a really…good recipe. Highly dependable. And obviously delicious." Her eyes widened. “Not that I would know. Not that I’ve tasted the soup.”
“This is not a flawless metaphor.”

Devon was a girl who is very intelligent, but had no idea where to go with her life or what to do with it. As I sit here and type this, I realize that I kind of resonated with that. I never cared. That’s not to say I was lazy or had an identity crisis or anything, but I certainly never thought much into the future. I wanted to live in the then and now, and thinking about college and what I was going to do with my life scared the shit out of me. But back to Devon. She had a really funny inner-monologue that had me laughing out loud numerous times, and her quips about people were spot on (in my opinion). But then all of a sudden there were two new people in her life, and for once, she was completely wrong about them.

Ezra snorted and then grimaced, and it was quiet for a moment. “So, uh, did you write the ‘inaccessibly handsome’ part?”
“No, I definitely didn’t.” I realized how that sounded and then felt compelled to go on. My shoes suddenly became incredibly interesting. “But, I mean…it’s true.”
“You think I’m handsome?”

Ezra is an all-star running back with a future as bright as the blazing sun. He could go to any college he wants and he runs the field with the grace of an already established professional athlete. His quirk? He’s quiet, broody, and not good with words. I found this to be totally adorable. Devon would try to talk to him and he’d just stare or have so little to say…only to lead to an uncomfortable silence and a stilted, stuttered answer. He tried his best, he really did…He just did not have the gift of gab. And his vulnerability is just so so perfect-UGH! You’ll see. Just..sigh. Devon takes his silence for indifference, but he actually has so much to say. And most importantly…he wants to say it all to her.

He smiled a little as he looked back down at the paper. “What about the ‘inaccessible’ part? Kinda makes me sound like a badly zoned restroom.”
“It’s true, though. A few details here and there aren’t bad. You’re not exactly forthcoming.”
“I told you. I’m not great at talking.”
“You’re talking now.”
He shrugged. “You’re easy to talk to.”
Something fluttered around in my stomach at that. A lone butterfly, agitating me for some reason.

And then there was Foster. He was an unexpected favorite on my part, and Devon didn’t really know what to make of him at times. At first she finds that he is her annoying cousin that got pushed in on them and is an annoying tagalong, but when Ezra takes a kinship and liking to him, putting him under his wing, Devon realizes there’s more to him than meets the eye. His quirk? I’m not sure….but he was an amazing and completely thoughtful character that I wanted to reach into the pages and hug repeatedly.

"Are you drunk?” a voice said.
So it was only temporary peace.
I whipped around and ripped the shower curtain back. There sat Foster, fully clothed, in the empty bathtub.
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
There was a rubber duck balanced delicately on his head. It didn’t move as he spoke. “Just sitting.”
This was one of those moments. Those Foster moments. Early-morning smoothies and the like. I squeezed my eyes shut hard.

This story was sweet, simple, and utterly heart-warming. And while I can’t say it jumped to my absolute favorites, it will certainly be one that I look back on and smile about, fondly wanting to re-read all the adorable quotes that gave me subtle feels from beginning to end. Now, the end will either make you extremely happy and smile really big, or it will leave you feeling robbed and wanting more. I was luckily in the prior category, but it could go either way for any one person. I hope people will give this adorable story a chance. I waited a long time for it, and it was certainly exactly what I needed.


For more of my reviews, please visit:






**********************


So...this book wasn't what I expected. It wasn't in your face and it wasn't full of emotional drama or lots of cheesy falling in love moments and conversations. It was simpler than that. It was about a girl who doesn't know what she wants. A girl who goes through the motions. A girl who is in love with her best friend. A girl who doesn't need anything more in her life. Not until Foster...and not until Ezra.

Girl meets boy.
Boy is quiet and backwards.
Boy is star football player.
They fall in love.
Slowly....and then all at once. ;)

I loved this book, but I did want more. Though, it was exactly what I needed for my current mood and glacial pace at posting reviews. I can't wait to write a review about this one. Ezra was adorably backwards.

Review to come.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars



This is my second Emma Mills book, and though I didn't love everything about it, I still enjoyed listening to it. My favorite thing about his story was Ezra. I wasn't sure if I was going to love him at first, but I really really did. I also loved the heroines brother, Foster. Every scene he was in made me smile. Devon was someone I couldn't connect with. I think Emma Mills writing is great and I'm looking forward to reading more from her. I have hope that my favorite book by her is one I haven't read yet!

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an adorable book. Emma Mills is going on my list of must-read authors. Cute writing voice. The perfect blend of serious issues, high school humor, wonderful sibling and friend relationships (my favorite thing was the relationship between sister and cousin/brother), and sweet slow burn romance. Emma Mills writes those SO well. This was a completely feel-good book. Loved it!

[Giselle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why didn't I realize this was a retelling of "Pride and Prejudice" in a modern setting? I would have picked it up sooner and I missed getting the author to sign it at a Fierce Reads event. *smacks head* 

Quite easily one of the cutest contemporary stories that have similar personalities to the beloved Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, all told within a football town with an adorable little cousin to match. I pretty much devoured this in one sitting, even if I'm on a good contemporary kick at the moment. It's witty, adorable, and just downright sweet. Not only is it a love story but there's also friendship and family thrown in for good measure.

There's just something about the adorable main characters that are so heavily flawed yet you can help but love them when they make their mistakes. 

Definitely one of my faves of the year :) and I would want to reread this over and over again just so I can get all the feels! Oh and that cover! If that beautiful but simple cover doesn't make you want to pick this one up, then I don't know what will!

RATING 5/5

QUOTES

"You don't want to make yourself different for anyone." 

"What must it be like to have a path do clearly delineated for you? To have talent and a passion that guide your future like that?"

"When you love something, you can't be happy all the time, can you?"

"I should've been better. But sometimes all you can really stand to do is think about yourself. Sometimes it's the only way to cope."

"Just because you like hair and makeup doesn't mean you're stupid."

[Nissa | Of Pens and Pages Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Close your eyes, real tight, and then count to three hundred. That’s all you have to do. You just count to three hundred, and when you open your eyes, five minutes will have passed. And even if it hurts or things are shitty or you don’t know what to do, you just made it through five whole minutes. And when it feels like you can’t go on, you just close your eyes and do it again. That’s all you need. Just five minutes at a time."

This is just the second book in my Pride and Prejudice month, and I've been quite lucky with my choices so far. This is such an adorable book!

Devon Tennyson started off her senior year in high school with her "Road to College" Club adviser to talk about her college essay and her performance in general. She's an intelligent girl, but she never really took the effort to get out there and do more. She wasn't even particularly sure where she wants to go...or if she even wants to go to college.

Now that she has to focus on her essay and woes of senior high (pre-college), she doesn't need distractions; not her cousin and new housemate Foster, maybe not even her longstanding crush on her childhood best friend Cas Kincaid, and definitely not her classmate in P.E. and the football team captain and star running back, Ezra Lynley.

I love Ezra. What an awkward little turtle! You'd expect a handsome, talented man like Ezra to have the grace, confidence, and social skills of a jock, but he's not at all like that. He's a quiet, slightly awkward guy who comes off as brooding and arrogant. Like Darcy.

Oh man Ezra's adorable. I could wax poetic about him all day! He'd be the type of book boyfriend I'd swoon over when I was their age. I'd still swoon over him in my age! He's very thoughtful and sweet, and I loved his friendship and camaraderie with Foster. And did I say he was sweet? Because he is.

...I feel about you the way they feel in those books. The way those guys feel about those girls that they don't always deserve."

Devon was a very relatable character. I remember being a senior in high school and worrying about my future. Like Devon, I had no concrete plan for college. I just knew I had to go because it's what usually follows high school.

And her feelings and crushes! Devon wasn't a perfect character; her prejudice is her main fault. But she's real and she's still charming and somehow lovable, and I think she and the characters in this book were perfect portrayals of what it's like to be in high school and what it's like to be a teenager.

I could see why people found it easy to talk to Devon. She's effortlessly funny!

Yeah, but that's Ezra. When he was born, he probably sprinted out of his mother and charged the delivery nurse."

In the start of the book, Devon was a bit snarky, although she was pretty entertaining. She just others solely on their appearances and actions; like the freshman girls she called prosti-tots, her cousin Foster, and Ezra. Eventually, we see her grow into someone more mature, and we see her relationship with Foster, Ezra and the others around her change for the better.

Foster. Dear Foster. He wasn't someone I expected as a character, but he was great! He came off as this awkward young cousin you'd avoid in school because he's not the usual type, but he grew on Devon the way he grew on me. I loved seeing his relationship with Devon and even Devon's parents grow. And I loved seeing him come out of his shell.

I tried to box in the characters in this story to the characters in Pride and Prejudice, and I guess I could only fully place Devon and Ezra in the roles of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. The others were a mix of different characters in P&P. Lindsay Renshaw, the pretty and genuinely nice girl who liked Cas, had a bit of Jane in her. Jordan Hunter, Ezra's good friend, reminded me of Charles Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam. I'd say Cas had a little bit of Wickham in him, but he's not really a Wickham. He also had a bit of Bingley in him somewhere.

There are no Caroline's or Lady Catherine's, there aren't even any Mr. Collins-esque characters. But I was fine with it. I would have wanted a longer ending and definitely a longer moment for Ezra and Devon, and a few more conflict resolution, but in the end, I was still pretty happy.

First & Then managed to get the essence of Pride and Prejudice, and still have its own voice and story. It was not just the growth of Devon Tennyson and her letting go of her prejudices and first impressions; like in the blurb, it's a story about falling in love with the unexpected boy, with a new brother, and with yourself.

It's a feel-good book that makes you giggle and smile and just feel happy. If you're a YA fan who loves funny leading ladies, quiet, awkward and endearing jocks, and interesting side characters, this might be a book for you.

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[♛ may · Rating 5 out of 5]

reading emma mills's books makes me feel like i ingested fairy dust and now i'm a magical being that only knows sprinkles and happiness

so, objectively speaking (and in comparison to her more recent works), this is a very flawed book but I DON'T CARE. it made me so freaking HAPPY i had to put my life on hold for 24 hours and stay up way past my bed time just so i could finish it fhgfhdhghf

characters & their development
- our mc, devon, started off being this self-centered goose who only cared about herself and her best friend, cas and judged every girl on the face on the planet and who ignored her little cousin and was standoff-ish to her teachers
- and by the end of the book, she EVOLVED into this beautiful butterfly who was understanding and realized how judgemental she was and became protective over her cousin and helped younger students fix their essays, i am weak for this development y'all dont even know

friendship
- good news is that the girl hate that is very prominent in the beginning of the book doesn't last forever and the mc learns the error of her ways
- but really, jordan was the greatest part of this book and every time he entered the page i swooned

"My pal Jordan," I murmured. "Champion of my heart."
"No, you're the champion of my heart."
"Can't we be each other's champions?"
"Yeah." He smiled. "I'd like that."

- guys that ISN'T EVEN THE SHIP
- jodan would flirt with a cactus, that's just who he is and i've decided i'm officially going to adopt him
- i wasn't really a huge fan of cas bc let's be honest here, he's one of those guys that needs attention 24/7 and he probably fits how much he can bench into every conversation possible
- ezra and foster's friendship :( theyre so cute and precious my heart :(
- ezra himself is a huge pro to this book

foster
- foster is the main character's little cousin that came to live with them bc his mom is going through some ~issues~
- and guys this kid is so soft and precious
- he's a nerd but he also is good at sports and idolizes the older kids and needs to be protected at all costs
- when he called devon his "sister" my heart cried and wiped its tears
- the end of the book made me so emo

the romance
- emma mills likes to hurt us by teasing us with the ship
- she always provides just ennnoouuuugghhhh that we're intensely invested in the lives of fictional beings but never enough to make up happy BC WE'RE CRAVING MORE
- ezra is such a quiet, brooding boy but he isn't the obnoxious, arrogant type
- but he's so caring and insanely loyal and protective to the people he loves
- basically a perfect modern mr. darcy

honestly emma mills UNDERSTANDS teenagers. she never comes off as an adult who is trying too hard to relate to them. she gets their humour and highschool life and portrays it so well and i want to be her when i grow up

and now i've finished all her books and im sad
i 🤔 wonder 🤔 if 🤔 i 🤔 should 🤔 reread 🤔 them 🤔

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was seriously so adorable.
I loved the characters and was obsessed with the story (I just went to a movie and I couldn't stop thinking about getting home and finishing it). I definitely enjoyed Devon as a main character, and I especially related to her not really knowing what she wanted to do after high school because that was definitely me senior year.
There were different small elements of the writing that I didn't enjoy, and I also wasn't a huge fan of how Devon thought and spoke about other girls but man is she called out on it toward the end of the book. I would've loved to see that transition happen quite a bit earlier though!
All in all, a really cute, easy, and fun read.
Also I've loved Emma's videos for a long time so it was so fun to read something by her in my favorite genre!

[Kells Next Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say about this light hearted, fluffy endearing read. I think that this book has something for everyone, it can be enjoyed by all as, ( in some small way or the other ) we all can ( at some point in our lives ) relate to what the author has penned. I laughed, I cried and was not able to stop reading until this engaging and mesmerizing piece of work was through.

I loved all the characters, the way they were presented and how they were seamlessly integrated into the storyline and our protagonist struggles. I was also pleasantly happy that their wasn't a cliche ending ( You'll have to read it for me to explain why I say this ) : ) I highly recommend this read for All.


Well Done Emma Mills....Well Done!!

[Danielle (Love at First Page) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When you tell me a book is Friday Night Lights meets Pride and Prejudice, well, there’s no way I can resist. Football and Jane Austen? Yes, please! I’ll be the first one in line. Of course, with that comes very high expectations, but for once the rumors are true: First & Then really does fulfill that appealing combination. It’s a celebration of our high school years and football, of romance and modern day Jane Austen. While it’s not perfect, it’s definitely a book that made me grin and swoon, a book that I keep thinking about even weeks later.

Devon is our heroine, a girl who loves Jane Austen and wishes she could live in the pages of a classic romance. She’s a senior in high school, directionless, feeling as our Austen heroines do, that she’s fairly unremarkable but content with the way things are. Like Lizzy Bennett before her, she has a fierce wit and a great sense of humor, but she can also make snap judgments and has a lot of growing to do. For years now, she’s been living in a two-person bubble with her best friend, Cas, not really letting anyone else in or putting herself out there. It’s at the start of this book, though, that things are about to change. I absolutely loved Devon’s character arc; it’s subtle, the way she slowly, almost without her even knowing or acknowledging it, begins to give herself and other people a chance. As much as she would have liked it to, her life can never just stay the same, things change and people grow apart, but maybe what’s on the other side is better. I think, more than anything, she realizes this, and what a wonderful end to her story she’s given because of it.

While Devon’s growth is the main focus of First & Then, it’s her newfound relationships that give the book its spark. Devon is used to being an only child, but then her distant cousin, Foster, comes to live with her family and the dynamic completely changes. She finds him annoying at first, not understanding his awkward quirks, his honest mouth, or his bottled emotions. She doesn’t know quite what to do with him. But it’s football that eventually brings them closer together, and why she finally gives him a real chance. It turns out that the awkward kid is also a natural at kicking a football, and it gives Foster a confidence he never had before. You guys, I adored Foster. He is a sweetheart and someone I just wanted to put in my pocket for safekeeping. The relationship between him and Devon is rocky at first, but it turns into something that is solid and true. I loved watching their relationship unfold, especially with football as a backdrop.

Then, of course, there’s the romance. Let me go ahead and say right away that there is not a love triangle. Like other Austen heroines, Devon is somewhat clueless about her love life, but it’s actually endearing to see her fumble around a little bit. She’s had a longstanding crush on Cas for years now, but he’s never seen her as more than a friend or even sister. I was worried that she’d be pining for him the whole book, but it’s not that way at all. I thought it was sad but lovely, the way Cas started fading from her life, making a way for someone infinitely better for our heroine. Which brings me to Ezra, who has become one of my favorite book boys this year. He’s the Mr. Darcy of the book, aloof and misunderstood, but he gradually works his way into Devon’s heart. I love that he was both a football star but also shy, that there’s more to him than meets the eye. The romance between him and Devon is sweet and with just enough butterfly-making moments. To return to our Jane Austen parallel, there’s always that moment in classic romances when the hero declares his feelings, and let me say that Ezra delivers one of the swooniest declarations I’ve read. My heart was absolutely bursting.

I’m so happy that a book about football and Pride and Prejudice didn’t disappoint. While it stays relatively simple and the emotions could have dug deeper, Devon’s character growth and her relationships with Foster and Ezra were more than satisfying. What a fantastic debut by Emma Mills; I can’t wait for more!

I received an ARC of this book by trade; this did not affect my review in any way.

This review can also be found at Love at First Page.

[Norah Una Sumner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book much more than I expected. Sarcastic characters, a unique family, hate-to-love relationship, sports, great sibling relationship, funny dialogues - Everything I want a book to have. And it made me cry for God's sake. I rarely cry and this one made me both cry and laugh out loud. I am a sucker for P&P retellings,I have to admit, and this book did not disappoint. The main character is extremely relatable and I loved reading from her perspective. The romance is slow-burning but that makes it just more amazing and real. There are many raw and heart-breaking scenes that I didn't expect to find here but I'm so glad I did. They made this book complete. So,overall,I really enjoyed reading this and would recommend it to YA/Contemporary readers or all of you lovely people who love P&P retellings.

You can find this review on BookishFever.

[Aj the Ravenous Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just love Emma Mills' books from their cute and creative covers, to their titles, to their characters, their stories, everything is to adore. First & Then is light, but also profound, very funny…

“As far as I was concerned, physical education was evil.”

“College was the natural order of things. According to my parents, between birth and death, there had to be college.”

…surprisingly introspective, touching, heartwarming, and enjoyable just like the other two books by Ms. Emma Mills I have read although this debut of hers might be my most favorite yet. She has earned a spot in my list of 'auto-buy' authors.

Devon, the main character also the narrator, is so relatable, just a stunningly average girl who isn't really good at anything except at advanced breakfast, cable television, and all Jane Austen related topics. She's simply basking in her unextraordinary life when Foster, her cousin, and Ezra, the handsome but brooding football captain came in her life and everything changes.

Ms. Mills writes about teenage characters with accuracy and genuineness. The funny banter, the sarcasm, the easy friendship, she has teen dialogue down to a tee and if you're someone who wants to give YA contemporary a try or wants to rekindle your love for it, Emma Mills books are a good place to start.

[celine (celinereads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't stop smiling!

First & Then is such a cute and fast book to read. I actually enjoyed it more than I was expecting to. I love the characters, the friendship, the family aspect, and the whole storyline.

I highly recommend First & Then! :)

[Fares · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's hard to write less than 300 pages contemporary and try to fit everything in it.
I don't know if it's just me but certain books just scream fluffy and cute and that's what I went with reading this even tho I had no idea what's it about except for football (the American one). It was just meh for me.
It has good character development but as I said the book just screamed fluffy and cute before I read it and I don't think that combination works well. What I mean by that is if a character goes through development that means she's flawed and that's good but it is hard to write a nice and flawed character, at least in a contemporary. Therefore they must be jerks sometimes and that's what happened here.
It all just felt rushed, trying to make the ship happen while the MC discovers how she is being mean to others. She wasn't bad but she had some prejudices and was blind to her and her friend's faults.

What is weird for me is how this is Emma's most popular book and yet her worst in my opinion. Maybe it was the focus on football that made it popular, and that also might be what was off for me, because it did make it a bit boring if you don't really care about that side of the book.

To get back to that ship thing, it was just predictable and really not believable at all. While her other books have great and really some of the best friendships you find in books this one fell behind significantly.
This is one of her first works, so I'm really happy to see her come all this way and it definitely doesn't take her off my favorite authors list.
I wouldn't say I recommend this but I'll take this chance to recommend her other works, read them they are awesome :)

[Alyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

***Review posted on The Eater of Books! blog***

First & Then by Emma Mills
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR)
Publication Date: October 13, 2015
Rating: 4 stars
Source: eARC from NetGalley

Summary (from Goodreads):

Devon Tennyson wouldn't change a thing. She's happy watching Friday night games from the bleachers, silently crushing on best friend Cas, and blissfully ignoring the future after high school. But the universe has other plans. It delivers Devon's cousin Foster, an unrepentant social outlier with a surprising talent for football, and the obnoxiously superior and maddeningly attractive star running back, Ezra, right where she doesn't want them first into her P.E. class and then into every other aspect of her life.

Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights in this contemporary novel about falling in love with the unexpected boy, with a new brother, and with yourself.

What I Liked:

There is only one way to describe this book that comes even slightly close to how I feel, and that is OMG! I loved this book! I'm not usually a YA contemporary person, but this book turned up the feels. P&P meets Friday Night Lights? Yes. Yes, that is a good comparison. Usually the ____ meets _____ in _____ are crap, but this one was very accurate, and lovely!

Devon doesn't really have a plan for her future, in terms of college, She knows she wants to go, but she isn't driven. She's comfortable as is, with her best friend Cas (who she has had a crush on for forever) and the Friday night football games. Her cousin, Foster, is now living with her and her parents, which has been a change. And a new change arrives as well - the star running back of the school is in her PE class, and soon he is everywhere. Things were a lot more simple without Foster, or Ezra, or her conflicted feelings about Cas, but Devon's life won't be simple again.

First, I'd like to say that there ins't a love triangle in this book. At least, not in my opinion. Devon has had a crush on her friend Cas, who is on the football team. But they're best friends, and Devon would rather be friends with him than speak up and ruin what they have. She knows how he is - he hooks up with whoever he wants to - but she loves being his friend.

Ezra is a new guy, in that he is a transfer student to their high school. He is a star football player, a running back with insane stats from his old school. Cas and other football players don't like him, because they think he has some sort of agenda. Ezra is quiet, always scowling, focused on football. He is intense, in a mysterious way.


So anyway, No love triangle. There is romance, and I absolutely love watching it develop. Devon's crush on Cas is surprisingly not a huge part of this book. Like, the author doesn't keep bringing it up. Sometimes you forget that Devon likes him like that. And then when Devon and Ezra's interactions start to pick up, you can't help but sigh happily.

The progression of several relationships in this book is so well-written and well-paced! Devon's relationship with Ezra is very slow - in a good way, in my opinion. She thinks he is a jerk at first, probably because he doesn't talk to anyone, like a silent arrogant d*ckhead. But slowly, they start to get to know each other, and Devon doesn't even realize that she has feelings for him. The amount of times their relationship made my heart flutter, made me swoon... there aren't ANY physical romantic interactions between these two, in this book. And yet, the romance is one of the swooniest I've read!

There is also Devon's relationship with her cousin, Foster. Foster is a freshman, and he is really strange. He is naturally curious, always chipper, and just strange. His father died and his mother is in rehab, so he's living with Devon and her parents. Devon has to have a lot of patience with him, and this is something she understands as the story goes on. I love her relationship with her new "brother". And I love how Foster gets along with Ezra, and vice versa.

The story is so lovely! It moves at a bit of a slow pace, and it might not feel like much is happening, but it's amazing how quickly the pages went. I couldn't read this book fast enough! It's one of those magnetic reads, you can't let go of it. There is so much football in this book - with Ezra, Cas, and several friends of Devon's on the team. I love football, and I love how important it was in this book!

I really like Devon. She and I are so different - she has zero ambition, no involvement in extracurricular activities, no desire to be better. And yet, I understand her. I love how she treats Foster. I like how she handles Ezra (especially in the first scene in gym class!). Devon is loyal and kind, and she sticks up for herself and Foster. Her character growth is so well-developed; she becomes a much more mature character by the end of the book.

Overall, I absolutely adored this book. There was something powerful and moving about it, and I definitely had a case of intense feels while reading it. It seemed like a retelling of Pride and Prejudice! And a good one, at that. Lots of Jane Austen references in this book. I was a fan!

What I Did Not Like:

I personally would have liked to see more physically swoony scenes between Ezra and Devon. While I can definitely see that not being their style, or the book's style (P&P didn't have a lot of physical intimate scenes), I would have liked that! The one physical interaction comes at the last few pages. The book is swoony, but not in a physical way! Having both would have been icing on the cake. Of course, this is totally an Alyssa thing, so carry on!

Would I Recommend It:

I would soooo recommend this book! Definitely one of my favorite YA contemporary books for the year. This book was all sorts of amazing, with a kind heroine, a swoony romance, and great development of relationships. And there was a certain side of tough issues in this book that gave it that much more depth, without it being ridiculously angsty and annoying! So, non-contemporary people (like me), or contemporary lovers, will enjoy this book, I just know it!

Rating:

4.5 stars -> rounded down to 4 stars (not for any specific reason, just that it didn't quite feel like a 5-star read. I cannot wait to read more from this author! Hopefully she writes more contemporary (wow, I can't believe I'm asking for more contemporary!), and swoonier romances, too!

[starryeyedjen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh...that was sooooo flippin' adorable. My sis kept coming into my office while I was listening, and every time she'd ask why I was smiling. Easy...I couldn't stop because this book was so cute. I loved the homage to Jane Austen, to the snarky protagonist who could maybe take a page from one of her favorite books and try a little harder. With friends. In school. At life in general.

The author of this book actually performed the narration, and it was perfect. I always love it when an author reads their own work because they know exactly where to place the inflections and how to make their characters sound as they imagined. I am definitely a fan of this author and her narration skills.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

You'll probably know by now that any book that has anything to do with Pride and Prejudice will be bound to catch my attention, at one point or another. I had heard about First & Then a while ago, via goodreads, but never got around to getting a copy until I discovered by library has ebooks that you can request, and this was top of my wishlist.

First & Then is a sort of modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice, taking place in a prestigious school. The main character, Devon, is just trying to cope with school, and get around to the idea of having a new pseudo-sibling, with her estranged cousin having to move in. She denies they're related whenever he's around at school, because he's a bit of an outsider, and spends most of the time dealing with her crush on her best friend, Cas. Then comes the super popular Ezra, who's face is all over the school after he's signed up for all American football. They are the only two seniors in the freshman PE class, so end up being thrust together more often than not. Ezra comes off as a pompous ass at first, but once his true nature comes out, him and Devon grow closer and closer.

I loved Devon and Ezra - they were the perfect Lizzie and Darcy figures that you could ask for in an adaptation. Devon had the snarkiness immediately reminiscent of Lizzie Bennett, and though she didn't have any siblings like Lizzie, the relationship she had with her cousin, Foster, started off like Mr Collins, but soon became similar to her relationship with Jane. Ezra was Mr Darcy to a T. The shyness and aloofness was there from the beginning, but when you discovered the truth about his family, including his interactions with the Wickham and Georgiana-esque characters, you realise why he comes off this way, and he eventually breaks out of his shell with Devon and Foster.

Their romance was extremely swoony, but my only issue was that there wasn't enough of it. It was like the romance in the original story, with glances and touches here and there, but nothing really of substance until right at the end. The book just seemed to end sharply, like I find a lot of contemporary YAs these days. I think if there had been a few more chapters, with a but more of a conclusion, the book could've been much better, but even so, I loved it anyway.

I'd definitely recommend this book, even to people who know nothing about the Pride and Prejudice story. If you know the original tale, you'll be able to work out who's who early on, but even so, the plot twists and storyline is still unique, due to the modern setting of it.

[solanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

the sheer amount of serotonin Emma Mill’s novels give me 🥺

okay but truly, there is nothing more comforting than settling down in a comfy chair, coffee in hand, to indulge in a couple of hours of mindless, well-written fluff. objectively speaking, First & Then is far from Mill’s best work, but there is something so irresistibly wholesome about her writing that gets me every time.

to be honest, the entire concept of this book sounds fairly unattractive on paper; you’ve got an unrequited love triangle, some romance drama, and a broody football player as a love interest. I’m sure that if I’d seen this premise coming from any other author I’d have gladly hopped into a freezing lake fully clothed rather than given it a chance. yet somehow, Emma Mill’s writing manages to pull me in without fail, regardless of the subject matter. seriously y’all, I’m pretty sure I’d read the woman’s grocery lists if given the chance.

as always, Mill’s characters take the spotlight.

Devon, our mc, starts off as rather judgemental and entirely oblivious to other’s feelings, but reaching the end of 300 pages, she’s bloomed into a thoughtful, considerate human being. although Devon was definitely a bit self-centered at first, I actually found her super sweet and likeable throughout the story. she’s fiercely protective of those she loves and her character arc was simply wonderful. also, the evolution of her relationship with Foster? pure freaking gold.

Foster, Devon’s younger cousin, moves in with our mc at the beginning of her senior year. despite her initial annoyance with having a thirteen-year-old tail her everywhere she goes, Devon begins to care for him the way one would a younger sibling. listen, this kid is a literal ray of sunshine. he is such a soft nerd and worships the seniors, always trying his very best to brighten everyone’s day. also!! seeing him refer to Devon as his sister was so heartwarming I just!! he deserves the absolute world.

I must admit, was more than a little sceptical of Ezra at first. I mean, c’mon. football obsessed jocks who are meant to be irresistibly hot but come off as huge pricks are so not my thing. but... he actually ended up being a total sweetheart who just happens to be dreadfully awkward and really bad at communicating his feelings? plus the romance between him and Devon played out so nicely as well, the two are such a good fit and the mutual pining was exquisite.

however, I’d have to say that out of all the wonderful characters in this book, Jordan was my very favourite. he isn’t even prominently featured in the story but god, his friendship with Devon just made my heart melt. he’s kind and compassionate and generally just seems like such a lovely person to simply be around. if anyone knows where I can find someone like him irl please contact me asap because I desperately need that kind of positive energy in my life.

the banter was, unsurprisingly, a highlight as well — I often caught myself smiling at a line of dialogue or even outright laughing. Emma Mills actually gets highschoolers and manages to portray their dynamics in such a natural manner. honestly I was grinning like an absolute idiot throughout the whole book.

the only real reason that this isn’t getting a higher rating from me is because at the end of the day, it wasn’t actually a read of much substance, or terribly memorable, either. but overall, I’d highly recommend this if you’re looking for a short, feel-good story with fantastic friendships that is sure to lift your mood!

↠ 3.5 stars

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Star Rating: —> 5 [million] STARS
🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟


I LOVED THIS SO F*CKING MUCH. END OF STORY.

________________________
Yay this is the only Emma Mills book I haven’t read! Here I gooooooo

[trufflebooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5. AMAZING. RTC

[Kelly (Diva Booknerd) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rarely is a novel ever so utterly perfect that I've fallen in love from the very first page. First and Then was nothing short of immaculate and one of the loveliest contemporaries I've ever had the pleasure of reading.



UTTER. PERFECTION.

It follows the story of Devon, the girl, not the luncheon meat. She's an only child with doting parents and no real direction throughout her senior year of school. Then fourteen year old Foster comes to stay. Oh Foster, he was such a breath of fresh air. Adorably naive and so incredibly lovely, he's been abandoned by his mother and taken in by his aunt and uncle to restore a sense of normalcy and family. Since his father died, life with his neglectful mother has left him unemotional and mentally absent. It takes a significant part of First and Then for Devon to finally accept Foster as a part of her newly formed family unit but their relationship although tentative, was beautiful to watch them both grow as individuals and as new siblings.

Hello Ezra Lynley. Ezra is the golden boy of football and a new recruit, seemingly untouchable yet takes an interest in Foster in the shared physical education class along with Devon. Although Foster is oblivious, the tension between Devon and Ezra is delicious and he begins helping Foster learn the basics of touch football and the two form a close bond. I know nothing about American football but First and Then didn't delve too deeply into the technical side of the sport thankfully, but more so the team comradery and etiquette of the game.

The bond between Ezra and Foster began as a worship type relationship and although beyond the college scouts and attention, Ezra is never comfortable with the admiration. He isn't the typical high school senior and is determined not to let his status define him. He's quiet, reserved and gives off a tortured impression. It's Devon who is yet to fall under his spell, she's in love with her best friend in Cass, who as the storyline moved forward really surprised me and I felt I never truly had a sense of who he was beyond how Devon had seen him.

The underlying storyline of acceptance and learning to trust was beautiful and lovingly written. I laughed, I cried and was utterly smitten with First and Then and in particular, Foster. Not often does a book come along that makes you feel how special it is to delve into the fictional worlds of authors, First and Them made me feel giddy as I turned the final page and gave me one hell of a book hangover.

[Gillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

GAH FEEEEEEELS