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Fat Sex: The Naked Truth (1)
If there are two subjects that are universally fascinating and rife with controversy, they are sex and fat. Though our culture is obsessed with both, the two commingling are sometimes seen as offensive, obscene, or even grotesque. Fat people are not viewed as sexual beings. Of course, this perception is far from accurate. Fat people have normal and peculiar sex lives, just like everyone else. A compilation of true stories, cultural references, and narrative commentary, Fat The Naked Truth , tells the honest, and often heroic, heartbreaking, and hilarious experiences of large-size women and men in their romantic, intimate, and sexual relationships. Subjects touched on include heterosexual relationships, gay men and lesbian women, those who have gained and lost a great deal of weight, and the sexual “underground” such as fetishes. Although the people portrayed in Fat The Naked Truth sometimes face bigotry and experience shame―they are often valiant and live remarkably fulfilling lives. The stories are compelling and told with sensitivity and wit, connecting people on profoundly important aspects of their lives. This book is not just for large-size people. The stories and issues discussed touch all of us, each and every person who has ever experienced the trials and tribulations, as well as the ecstasies, of intimate relationships.
270 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2012
21 people are currently reading
380 people want to read
About the author
Rebecca Jane Weinstein
5 books7 followersRebecca Jane Weinstein is the author of four books, most recently a children's book, "Ella's Tummy: A Story of Understanding for All Ages." Her books also include "Fat Kids: Truth and Consequences" and "Fat Sex: The Naked Truth," part of the Fat Books series. Additionally, Rebecca has written for numerous national publications. Rebecca is the founder of PeopleOfSize.com, an online community and social networking site which provides information, support, and interaction for people of size. An attorney and social worker with a masters degree focusing on clinical therapy, Rebecca has been working as an advocate and writer for nearly twenty years. She is considered an expert on the subject matter of weight and culture. Rebecca shares her own experiences of being a fat child, and now a fat adult, having been put on her first diet at age six. She understands the struggles that so many experience living in a world with a war on fat. More information can be found at http://www.FatBooksSeries.com and http://www.EllasTummy.com.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
January 12, 2015
I was hoping for a book more about sex and less about discrimination and shaming against fat people. I understand that is a major part of the fat experience, but it just wasn't what I was expecting from the title of the book, and perhaps that was naivete in my part. It was fairly triggering in many parts, when I was just looking for some sexy tales of sex revolving around fat bodies. Worth reading if you don't know what fat people face in the world, well written, but it is very light on the sex and much more about body image.
July 26, 2012
This book is written in a style reminiscent of the serious but casual discussions around the fire in the student center. It also reminds me of serious informative discussions with many a wiser person. However, this topic and the related issues surrounding being a fat person, especially a fat woman, and the facts of life about love and/or sexual relationships were never discussed in a helpful, encouraging, factual, or healthy way. This book shows by example as well as with an interweaving of a variety facts that all of what I (and we in this world) have been told and believe to be true about fat people and love relationships has not been the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The love life of fat people can be quite wonderful in fact.
I would most definitely recommend this book. I wish I had had it when I was about age 9 onwards to help me understand more and get hurt less in a world determined to crush me.
Update from the author:
Rebecca Jane Weinstein:
Hello friends involved with body acceptance issue! Please share this with anyone and everyone. Although the book is getting a lot a press, don't be mislead, it is a hard sell! People see it as radical, even though it is just an honest portrayal for countless people. There may be some fear in taking the leap to buy and read. Support the goals of spreading the honest struggles and triumphs of pervasive body issues. Thanks! http://www.FatSexTheNakedTruth.com/
I would most definitely recommend this book. I wish I had had it when I was about age 9 onwards to help me understand more and get hurt less in a world determined to crush me.
Update from the author:
Rebecca Jane Weinstein:
Hello friends involved with body acceptance issue! Please share this with anyone and everyone. Although the book is getting a lot a press, don't be mislead, it is a hard sell! People see it as radical, even though it is just an honest portrayal for countless people. There may be some fear in taking the leap to buy and read. Support the goals of spreading the honest struggles and triumphs of pervasive body issues. Thanks! http://www.FatSexTheNakedTruth.com/
July 2, 2012
Full disclosure: I know the author so I am not an unbiased reader. I also don't consider myself fat, although in middle age I have certainly become thicker, and if I said it wasn't a concern I'd be lying. The twenty stories in this book cover a wide range of life situations all revolving around the challenges of weight, self-esteem and relationships. Although many of the stories contain elements of sadness, tragedy, or cruelty, the overall tone is one of hope and optimism. If you are hoping for stories of people who end up dead or in jail or broken of spirit, choose another book. If instead you want real stories of real people (albeit with pseudonyms) who found ways to cope with being a member of "the last minority group it is okay to be prejudiced against," check this out. I learned a thing or two, and I think I gained a new perspective. And that's always a good thing.
March 20, 2013
A real disappointment... I read about this book online and immediately bought it, I was so excited. I was hoping for a critical fat studies text, one that incorporates the breadth of experiences of different kinds of fat bodies and fat identities. Instead, this book is full of seemingly non-sequitor anecdotes and blatant misandry. I'm sorry to say it's poorly written, and the sweeping generalizations the author makes (about men, about fat people, about not-fat people, etc) are honestly really offensive. This could have been so much better.
September 22, 2014
Disclaimer: I don't necessarily agree with most of what's put forward in this book, but do find the perspective interesting because it is so different from mainstream media.
First, as a whole, this book wasn't my favorite. I finished it though, which is saying something. I found certain parts interesting. That said, by about 60% of the way through it was more repetitive than anything. There's only so much you can read about size acceptance, fat shaming, health at every size, and self esteem before wanting to smack yourself. I thought there'd be short essays about specific sexual experiences and the thoughts going through each person's head in those moments. Instead, every chapter follows one person, including their familial background, fat journey, self esteem issues/encounters with fat shaming/dieting drama, with sociological, scientific, medical, psychological, and media-related statistics thrown in throughout. It's a little preachy at times and a little dry at others.
All that aside, as I mentioned, there were nuggets of...well, not gold, maybe bronze...that did make it interesting enough to finish. Here's a sample of a few things that piqued my interest.
Referring to the fact that many overweight people spend years trying to forgive themselves for their fat, which the author says is a good thing because "there's nothing productive or life-affirming about self-loathing." This person, however, had gone one step further. "She doesn't forgive herself for being fat, because being fat is not an offense that requires forgiveness. It is not an offense at all."
"70 percent of the variation in peoples' weight may be accounted for by inheritance, a figure that means that weight is more strongly inherited than nearly any other condition, including mental illness, breast cancer or heart disease. (Gina Kolata, "Genes Take Charge, and Diets Fall by the Wayside.")"
"The goal for men was not to have sex with skinny women, it was to have sex with women. Unless they wanted sex with other men....As it turns out, many of them liked fat women, because they have big tits, and big asses, and places to squeeze, and put things. Men like to put things places." Regarding one woman's online questioning, dating, and conversing with a wide variety of men.
A Chris Rock quote from "Bigger and Blacker" that is reprinted in the book: "Nobody likes who the fuck they are. Except fat, black women. Fat, black women don't give a fuck what you think. She's going out on Friday night...She's like, 'I'm sexy. I am sexy, yes, I am! I am the sexiest motherfucker here tonight!' 'Yeah, I got a gut. There's some good pussy under this gut.'"
"A 1950s size 16 is about a 2012 size 8."
From a man attracted primarily to larger women, explaining his attraction: "If she exhibits some self-esteem, I realize the barriers she has had to overcome. And that makes me admire her more."
First, as a whole, this book wasn't my favorite. I finished it though, which is saying something. I found certain parts interesting. That said, by about 60% of the way through it was more repetitive than anything. There's only so much you can read about size acceptance, fat shaming, health at every size, and self esteem before wanting to smack yourself. I thought there'd be short essays about specific sexual experiences and the thoughts going through each person's head in those moments. Instead, every chapter follows one person, including their familial background, fat journey, self esteem issues/encounters with fat shaming/dieting drama, with sociological, scientific, medical, psychological, and media-related statistics thrown in throughout. It's a little preachy at times and a little dry at others.
All that aside, as I mentioned, there were nuggets of...well, not gold, maybe bronze...that did make it interesting enough to finish. Here's a sample of a few things that piqued my interest.
Referring to the fact that many overweight people spend years trying to forgive themselves for their fat, which the author says is a good thing because "there's nothing productive or life-affirming about self-loathing." This person, however, had gone one step further. "She doesn't forgive herself for being fat, because being fat is not an offense that requires forgiveness. It is not an offense at all."
"70 percent of the variation in peoples' weight may be accounted for by inheritance, a figure that means that weight is more strongly inherited than nearly any other condition, including mental illness, breast cancer or heart disease. (Gina Kolata, "Genes Take Charge, and Diets Fall by the Wayside.")"
"The goal for men was not to have sex with skinny women, it was to have sex with women. Unless they wanted sex with other men....As it turns out, many of them liked fat women, because they have big tits, and big asses, and places to squeeze, and put things. Men like to put things places." Regarding one woman's online questioning, dating, and conversing with a wide variety of men.
A Chris Rock quote from "Bigger and Blacker" that is reprinted in the book: "Nobody likes who the fuck they are. Except fat, black women. Fat, black women don't give a fuck what you think. She's going out on Friday night...She's like, 'I'm sexy. I am sexy, yes, I am! I am the sexiest motherfucker here tonight!' 'Yeah, I got a gut. There's some good pussy under this gut.'"
"A 1950s size 16 is about a 2012 size 8."
From a man attracted primarily to larger women, explaining his attraction: "If she exhibits some self-esteem, I realize the barriers she has had to overcome. And that makes me admire her more."
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September 19, 2012Fat Sex is an honest narrative portrayal of several normal, sexual people deemed unacceptably “overweight” by societal standards. Don’t let the title fool you; this book is NOT a Kama Sutra for fat people, but a confessional about the pain and insecurity of wanting a healthy love life while being considered “unworthy” of such a thing. Ultimately, this book is about fat people’s quests for love and acceptance.
Fat Sex is not only about the experiences—both good and not-so good—of fat people as sexual beings; it also tells the story of those who desire fat people: Fat Admirers and “Chubby Chasers.” Admirers are typically left out of fat acceptance literature, but Weinstein gives them a space and a voice in her book. Thus, Fat Sex drives home the fact that many people are attracted to fat men and women, but societal standards keep them from embracing their attraction. This book is inspirational to both fat people and “closeted” fat admirers looking for a sense of camaraderie.
Lastly, this book is a general portrayal of the struggles fat people go through, in general. We all know that self-esteem plays a large role in one’s sex life. People approach or don’t approach sex, have or don’t have sex, based on self-worth and the particularities of their attractions. This book chronicles several people’s experiences with overcoming societal obstacles to have a healthy and fulfilled love life. It addresses the misconceptions about fat people and dismisses stereotypes of laziness and unhealthy lifestyles. It exposes much rhetoric about “the obesity epidemic” as mere hatred and bigotry. This book is very dynamic. Although sex is its focal point, it addresses the fat experience, in general.
This is a good read for people of all sizes; it provides a perspective of which most are either unaware of misinformed.
Fat Sex is not only about the experiences—both good and not-so good—of fat people as sexual beings; it also tells the story of those who desire fat people: Fat Admirers and “Chubby Chasers.” Admirers are typically left out of fat acceptance literature, but Weinstein gives them a space and a voice in her book. Thus, Fat Sex drives home the fact that many people are attracted to fat men and women, but societal standards keep them from embracing their attraction. This book is inspirational to both fat people and “closeted” fat admirers looking for a sense of camaraderie.
Lastly, this book is a general portrayal of the struggles fat people go through, in general. We all know that self-esteem plays a large role in one’s sex life. People approach or don’t approach sex, have or don’t have sex, based on self-worth and the particularities of their attractions. This book chronicles several people’s experiences with overcoming societal obstacles to have a healthy and fulfilled love life. It addresses the misconceptions about fat people and dismisses stereotypes of laziness and unhealthy lifestyles. It exposes much rhetoric about “the obesity epidemic” as mere hatred and bigotry. This book is very dynamic. Although sex is its focal point, it addresses the fat experience, in general.
This is a good read for people of all sizes; it provides a perspective of which most are either unaware of misinformed.
July 16, 2012
Those who might be hesitant to pick up this book due to its in-your-face title (which at first glance might lead readers to think this is a "dirty" book, which I assure you, it isn't) are missing out on an informative and eye-opening read. After reading this novel I have a greater understanding of how "people of a larger size" struggle in their dating efforts, and the effect that fat prejudice has on them. No matter what size you are, whether it be fat, thin, or average, I would recommend picking this up. It's an easy, quick, and enlightening read that will help any reader better understand the struggles "people of size" face daily.
October 9, 2012
A beautiful collection of stories chronicling self acceptance in a cruel world. As someone who was bullied for her weight from childhood through adolescence and beyond, I identified with many of experiences that these men and women described. In the end, we are all human beings. I was greatly enlightened to read of acceptance toward the end of every story, instead of shame. Beautiful book that I will share with others.
February 14, 2013
I loved this book! I wish the name was different, I think it detracts from the book and potentially narrows the audience for this title.
I think that healthcare professionals should read this book. Even if I don't agree with everything the author says, the ancedotal accounts of living as an obese person have altered my view in a profound way.
I think that healthcare professionals should read this book. Even if I don't agree with everything the author says, the ancedotal accounts of living as an obese person have altered my view in a profound way.
August 4, 2013
I related to so much of what was written, but honestly the title is a little misleading. It's not quite about sex, but rather all the different types of relationships that make up the fat experience. The essays were a little whitewashed with the same voice. I would recommend this not only to fat people, but also the people in their lives who are looking to gain another perspective.
October 15, 2013
While i think this book was poorly written in parts (a lot of repetition of facts within chapters), I really saw myself in many of the subjects' experiences. it felt comforting to read about large people getting some loving in a world that seems to hate them (but that I think is just really closeted about liking them)
July 6, 2015
This book had so much wasted potential. Some of the stories were interesting, but they were too often interrupted with the author's social agenda. Really this book wasn't so much about fat sex as it was about fat acceptance.
For a more in depth review go to my blog: www.literarymeow.wordpress.com.
For a more in depth review go to my blog: www.literarymeow.wordpress.com.
February 11, 2017
I really enjoyed reading this book. It was extremely educational and I could relate a lot to the people who stories were told in this book. I also loved all the facts and statistics that were included. One thing I would have loved was if each story was told from that person, to give it a more personal feel and also to loan different voices to the book.
August 5, 2015
Very interesting, motivating, self actuating, heartbreaking, life confirming, fear enducing, hope giving read. I cried, i laughed, I cried and cried and laughed. I am so glad I read this. fullfills a memoir for 2015 reading challenge.
July 29, 2012
Amazing. Simply amazing. It's nice to finally hear voices that have previously gone unheard of underneath the weight of cultural standards.
didnt-finish
August 19, 2013you know, i just don't feel like finishing this. so i'm not going to. i'm moving on to books i DO want to read.
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April 8, 2016616.8526 W4246 2014
May 12, 2019
Okay, I admit I was thinking this book might be a little salacious and it was not, but I was definitely NOT disappointed by the book itself. It was an enlightening read. It was a sort of "dissertation" on the subject of being fat and how it affects the lives of fat people--how they cope with the not-so-subtle judgments that are forced upon them by "well-meaning" friends and family and just plain rude judgments by total strangers. The author is a woman of size who is also an attorney and social worker who has an online network community called peopleofsize.com. So the book is not really about the act of sex itself but about the reactions to people of size. Aside from some careless punctuation issues, the book is well-written and I would recommend it to people of any size. It puts into context through personal stories and anecdotes the fact that there are no protections (legal or otherwise) in place that pertain to over-weight people--they can be discriminated against by anyone for anything at any time. I didn't realize until I finished the book that I have been guilty of judging fat people as being slovenly perhaps. It was morally wrong and I am ashamed about those thoughts. Especially so, since women of a certain age (like me) tend to put on a little weight. Mea Culpa.
August 10, 2021
Written from feminist perspective. Being the chauvinistic patriarch in a household with a feminist wife and daughters engaging with their emerging perspectives I found the book enlightening and revealing. Date is say it, I have been slightly more convinced and empathetic to some of my wife’s arguments and how women and girls view their sexuality in the world differently from what men and boys face… but only slightly persuaded .🤨
Being a fat man who came into the world at 13lbs and some and never looked back; and who has had he share of lovers I agree with the theme CONFIDENCE IS KING. A virtue I try to install in my girls as they navigate their teen years.
Being a fat man who came into the world at 13lbs and some and never looked back; and who has had he share of lovers I agree with the theme CONFIDENCE IS KING. A virtue I try to install in my girls as they navigate their teen years.
October 16, 2023
DNF. It got tiresome after a while. I was expecting a book more celebratory of fatness and fat sex but instead it was full of third person view anecdotes of body shame and image. Perhaps if this was a few years ago when I first started my fat lib journey there would be something in these pages that interested me further. It was such a disappointment and I gave up halfway through or less.
May 8, 2025
This book offers a tremendous amount of insight. It's less about sex than the title suggests and more about living with a larger body in a small-minded world. Although sad at times, it was a worthwhile read.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews