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Grips of Grief: A Memoir
What happens when just days before your thirteenth birthday, you become a mother? Not to a child, but to yourself. And what happens when you’re forced to navigate that journey without a manual or a guide?
In this raw and deeply personal memoir, Ayo Deforge peels back the unending layers of grief, exposing the heartbreak and enduring wounds that loss leaves. With unflinching honesty, she guides readers through the weight of unresolved sorrow, the challenges of adulthood without parental support, a decade-long battle with a body reluctant to give life, and an exploration of faith. It is a journey through self-discovery, spirituality, self-forgiveness, healing, and the resilience required to reconstruct a life fragmented by grief.
For anyone who has carried the burden of unfinished mourning, felt unmoored in adulthood, or faced the silent despair of infertility—this book stands as a proof to the human spirit’s capacity to rediscover itself and reconnect with its source amidst life’s most challenging trials.
In this raw and deeply personal memoir, Ayo Deforge peels back the unending layers of grief, exposing the heartbreak and enduring wounds that loss leaves. With unflinching honesty, she guides readers through the weight of unresolved sorrow, the challenges of adulthood without parental support, a decade-long battle with a body reluctant to give life, and an exploration of faith. It is a journey through self-discovery, spirituality, self-forgiveness, healing, and the resilience required to reconstruct a life fragmented by grief.
For anyone who has carried the burden of unfinished mourning, felt unmoored in adulthood, or faced the silent despair of infertility—this book stands as a proof to the human spirit’s capacity to rediscover itself and reconnect with its source amidst life’s most challenging trials.
244 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 1, 2025
10 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
July 31, 2025
Some books don’t just tell a story—they make you feel it. Grips of Grief by Ayo Deforge is one of those books. This deeply personal memoir delves into the pain of grief, the heartbreak of infertility, and the role of faith in navigating loss. It’s raw, honest, and at times, almost too painful to read—but that’s exactly what makes it so powerful.
From the very first pages, Ayo Deforge invites readers into her world, sharing her sorrow with an openness that is both heartbreaking and courageous. The writing is raw and direct, making every emotion feel vivid and real. Some moments made me pause just to process the weight of what I was reading, while others offered an unexpected glimmer of hope.
One of the most powerful moments comes in Chapter 30, when she finally makes the painful decision to let Deborah go. It perfectly encapsulates the depth of grief, making it feel both intensely personal and universally relatable.
What stands out most about this memoir is its honesty. There are no easy answers here—no neatly wrapped resolutions or forced optimism. Instead, it offers a deeply authentic reflection on loss, longing, and the challenges of faith in the face of heartbreak. For those who have walked a similar path or are still navigating it, this book may feel like a companion—one that validates emotions often too difficult to put into words and reminds readers that God is still in the business of miracles.
This isn’t an easy read, but it’s an essential one. If you have ever wrestled—or are still wrestling—with grief, infertility, or faith during hardship, Grips of Grief will resonate deeply. It’s a book that lingers long after the last page, leaving you with a mix of sorrow, understanding, strengthened faith in a loving God, and maybe even a renewed sense of hope.
Thank you @ayodeforgewrites for sharing this with me in exchange for an honest review.
From the very first pages, Ayo Deforge invites readers into her world, sharing her sorrow with an openness that is both heartbreaking and courageous. The writing is raw and direct, making every emotion feel vivid and real. Some moments made me pause just to process the weight of what I was reading, while others offered an unexpected glimmer of hope.
One of the most powerful moments comes in Chapter 30, when she finally makes the painful decision to let Deborah go. It perfectly encapsulates the depth of grief, making it feel both intensely personal and universally relatable.
What stands out most about this memoir is its honesty. There are no easy answers here—no neatly wrapped resolutions or forced optimism. Instead, it offers a deeply authentic reflection on loss, longing, and the challenges of faith in the face of heartbreak. For those who have walked a similar path or are still navigating it, this book may feel like a companion—one that validates emotions often too difficult to put into words and reminds readers that God is still in the business of miracles.
This isn’t an easy read, but it’s an essential one. If you have ever wrestled—or are still wrestling—with grief, infertility, or faith during hardship, Grips of Grief will resonate deeply. It’s a book that lingers long after the last page, leaving you with a mix of sorrow, understanding, strengthened faith in a loving God, and maybe even a renewed sense of hope.
Thank you @ayodeforgewrites for sharing this with me in exchange for an honest review.
June 11, 2025
I finished reading Grips of Grief in April, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the author’s journey since. Some books make you feel seen, and this was one of them for me.
In this deeply personal memoir, Ayo takes us through a raw, jarring journey of grief, faith, and healing. I found myself with tears in my eyes more than once. I took my time reading it — not because it was difficult to get through, but because rushing it felt wrong. Her words deserved to be sat with.
Ayo speaks candidly about her complicated walk with God — the moments of silence, the doubts, and the times she stopped caring about what God thought of her because she felt abandoned. She writes about loss in a way that is both tender and piercing, not claiming full healing but showing what it means to carry grief while still choosing to move forward.
Through the support of her pastor and her slow recommitment to her faith, we see how she finds strength in vulnerability. One of the most emotional parts for me was her recounting of praying desperately for a child — her raw hope, disappointment, and near surrender.
This book goes beyond grief. It touches on faith, loss, unemployment, and the unique struggles of being an indie author. It’s not just a memoir — it’s a companion for anyone navigating pain while still trying to make sense of life.
Grips of Grief is deeply moving. The weight of Ayo’s story may settle in your bones, but it’s a burden worth sharing. I highly recommend it.
In this deeply personal memoir, Ayo takes us through a raw, jarring journey of grief, faith, and healing. I found myself with tears in my eyes more than once. I took my time reading it — not because it was difficult to get through, but because rushing it felt wrong. Her words deserved to be sat with.
Ayo speaks candidly about her complicated walk with God — the moments of silence, the doubts, and the times she stopped caring about what God thought of her because she felt abandoned. She writes about loss in a way that is both tender and piercing, not claiming full healing but showing what it means to carry grief while still choosing to move forward.
Through the support of her pastor and her slow recommitment to her faith, we see how she finds strength in vulnerability. One of the most emotional parts for me was her recounting of praying desperately for a child — her raw hope, disappointment, and near surrender.
This book goes beyond grief. It touches on faith, loss, unemployment, and the unique struggles of being an indie author. It’s not just a memoir — it’s a companion for anyone navigating pain while still trying to make sense of life.
Grips of Grief is deeply moving. The weight of Ayo’s story may settle in your bones, but it’s a burden worth sharing. I highly recommend it.
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August 16, 2025I am fascinated by grief.
... because it's all around me but somehow for all of my life I have been insulated from its pain. I read this book because the title touched upon that terror incubating somewhere within me. I am scared that when someone I care about dies I will be destroyed.
I like to read about people who, in spite of what seems to be the worst imaginable pain, don't get destroyed. Or who were destroyed and managed to reassemble what is left of their life and continue living. I like to know what strategies they used ... for obvious reasons.
I did not expect the book to also be about a struggle with faith, nor did I expect it to be a book about what it can cost a woman to have a child. I nearly stopped reading at several points simply because I was getting overwhelmed.
... because it's all around me but somehow for all of my life I have been insulated from its pain. I read this book because the title touched upon that terror incubating somewhere within me. I am scared that when someone I care about dies I will be destroyed.
I like to read about people who, in spite of what seems to be the worst imaginable pain, don't get destroyed. Or who were destroyed and managed to reassemble what is left of their life and continue living. I like to know what strategies they used ... for obvious reasons.
I did not expect the book to also be about a struggle with faith, nor did I expect it to be a book about what it can cost a woman to have a child. I nearly stopped reading at several points simply because I was getting overwhelmed.
November 10, 2025
I read this memoir over the course of a few nights after breastfeeding my baby. It was such a beautiful read I shed a few tears. It's a story of faith and struggle with grief. I was encouraged, enlightened and full of a deep acknowledgement that faith in God is essential. I am so glad I read this memoir it restored my resolve to increase my faith in God.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews