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The Sid Tillsley Chronicles #3
Acracknophobia
For Sid Tillsley, the end is near... When Sid Tillsley, the most prolific and lethal vampire hunter the world has ever known, cancels his subscription to "Tits" magazine, Middlesbrough locals know that something isn't right in the world.
And that's an understatement...
The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on society. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans whose purpose is to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that suppresses the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets, life will never be the same again, and a new barbaric, violent age will devour mankind.
Unfortunately, Sid cannot be called upon, for Sid has landed himself a legitimate job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month!
But why? How? What could possibly change a Northern man so set in his ways?
Vampires could never be so cruel.
Such devilry, such wickedness, can only be the work of...womenfolk.
And that's an understatement...
The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on society. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans whose purpose is to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that suppresses the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets, life will never be the same again, and a new barbaric, violent age will devour mankind.
Unfortunately, Sid cannot be called upon, for Sid has landed himself a legitimate job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month!
But why? How? What could possibly change a Northern man so set in his ways?
Vampires could never be so cruel.
Such devilry, such wickedness, can only be the work of...womenfolk.
294 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2012
6 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
About the author
Mark Jackman
10 books13 followersaka M.J. Jackman
The Sid Tillsley Chronicles were originally written under the pen name Mark Jackman, but in 2014 the Chronicles were revised and released under the pen name M.J. Jackman
The Sid Tillsley Chronicles were originally written under the pen name Mark Jackman, but in 2014 the Chronicles were revised and released under the pen name M.J. Jackman
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
September 3, 2017
The finale to the epic STC trilogy (that still no one is calling it). If you've got to this review for Acracknophobia then you will have almost certainty read The Great Right Hope & A Fistful of Rubbers. So no spoilers, except we discover the truth behind Bolton's Bitter, Sid's Powers, and the general destruction of the known universe. Much in evidence is Mark Jackman's mastery of dialog and talent for juxtaposition between the banal and the fantastical (rivalled only by his ability to get a penis gag out of any situation). The cast list and staging expands significantly over previous outings which adds to the madness in the final acts. I was left wanting more and a little sad that Jackman has closed the door on this saga. Still, if Middlesborough City Council were to make him cultural ambassador... just saying. Sid, Skål!
March 27, 2018
Erm not quite
I read this book straight after2. The story is a little far fetched, well more than you would expect from Boro boys and vampires.
I liked it, and could happily read more, but this story seemed a little desperate and disjointed.
It does have the best swear in the world. TWATCOCK
I read this book straight after2. The story is a little far fetched, well more than you would expect from Boro boys and vampires.
I liked it, and could happily read more, but this story seemed a little desperate and disjointed.
It does have the best swear in the world. TWATCOCK
October 15, 2017
Even more fun than the first
Like the first book, a page turner if you like something fun with great characters and writing. I just hope there is more Sid Tillsley to come.
Like the first book, a page turner if you like something fun with great characters and writing. I just hope there is more Sid Tillsley to come.
May 16, 2012
I received this book through GoodReads Giveaways.
I have not read the first two books in this series, so I tried to read this as a stand alone book. Unfortunately, I think to get the full effect of it, all three must be read. And in quick succession so that the rampant madness makes sense. If you give any time for logic to sink in, it will not work.
This is a pretty fun take of mediocre guys with strange powers to kill and maim vampires. Sid, the main character, is apparently of obese nature but can kill vamps with a single punch. He is gross, drunk a lot, smokes and has foul body odor. He lives off the government. However, he is changing his tune and trying to dry up and go straight so he can get married. His buddies cannot believe it and go to great lengths to find out about the woman who has twisted his mind and it is quite the horror!
Of note is his friend Arthur, who is the son of either THE Elvis or an Elvis impersonator; Brian, whose baby making bodily fluid can make vamps die; and Rathbone, who is a vampire but drinks a certain brand of beer instead of blood. I couldn't quite figure out what his power was, but he is fond of flinging crap, literally.
The vampires are getting ready for world domination and the human coalition is trying desperately to get a cure, Haema, ready. This Haema is supposed to curtail the vampire's appetite. Of course, through a comedy of errors, all hell breaks loose and the madness ensues.
This book is not for anyone offended by rude language, homophobia, sexist ideas...it did make me laugh out loud in several places. I don't know what that says about me.
Since this book is written with UK word usage, I'm not sure I even got the basic plot right, but it was a fun read. And it made me want to listen to Elvis songs and eat banana pudding.
I have not read the first two books in this series, so I tried to read this as a stand alone book. Unfortunately, I think to get the full effect of it, all three must be read. And in quick succession so that the rampant madness makes sense. If you give any time for logic to sink in, it will not work.
This is a pretty fun take of mediocre guys with strange powers to kill and maim vampires. Sid, the main character, is apparently of obese nature but can kill vamps with a single punch. He is gross, drunk a lot, smokes and has foul body odor. He lives off the government. However, he is changing his tune and trying to dry up and go straight so he can get married. His buddies cannot believe it and go to great lengths to find out about the woman who has twisted his mind and it is quite the horror!
Of note is his friend Arthur, who is the son of either THE Elvis or an Elvis impersonator; Brian, whose baby making bodily fluid can make vamps die; and Rathbone, who is a vampire but drinks a certain brand of beer instead of blood. I couldn't quite figure out what his power was, but he is fond of flinging crap, literally.
The vampires are getting ready for world domination and the human coalition is trying desperately to get a cure, Haema, ready. This Haema is supposed to curtail the vampire's appetite. Of course, through a comedy of errors, all hell breaks loose and the madness ensues.
This book is not for anyone offended by rude language, homophobia, sexist ideas...it did make me laugh out loud in several places. I don't know what that says about me.
Since this book is written with UK word usage, I'm not sure I even got the basic plot right, but it was a fun read. And it made me want to listen to Elvis songs and eat banana pudding.
May 3, 2013
Third in the series of the Sid Tillsley chronicles and I'm distraught that its over. Please right more Me Jackman
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews