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The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us
A major, paradigm–shifting work by one of our most dazzling public intellectuals that grapples with humanity’s most fundamental to matter.
MacArthur Fellow and author of Plato at the Googleplex, Rebecca Newberger Goldstein returns with a book about the primal drive that in our species alone has been transformed into one of our most persistent and universal the longing to matter.
Drawing on biology, psychology, and philosophy, Goldstein argues that this longing is the source of both interpersonal and societal progress and conflict—the very crux of the human experience. The “mattering map,” a concept that she first introduced in her bestselling novel The Mind–Body Problem, returns to illuminate how our need for significance shapes identity, relationships, and culture. Goldstein seamlessly merges rigorous scholarship with compelling storytelling, offering a framework to understand and harness this universal drive.
The Mattering Instinct is a profound exploration and a major intellectual contribution, decades in the making, of what it means to be human, challenging readers to reconsider their place in the world and their connections to others.
MacArthur Fellow and author of Plato at the Googleplex, Rebecca Newberger Goldstein returns with a book about the primal drive that in our species alone has been transformed into one of our most persistent and universal the longing to matter.
Drawing on biology, psychology, and philosophy, Goldstein argues that this longing is the source of both interpersonal and societal progress and conflict—the very crux of the human experience. The “mattering map,” a concept that she first introduced in her bestselling novel The Mind–Body Problem, returns to illuminate how our need for significance shapes identity, relationships, and culture. Goldstein seamlessly merges rigorous scholarship with compelling storytelling, offering a framework to understand and harness this universal drive.
The Mattering Instinct is a profound exploration and a major intellectual contribution, decades in the making, of what it means to be human, challenging readers to reconsider their place in the world and their connections to others.
352 pages, Hardcover
Published January 13, 2026
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3407 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 5, 2026
This is a book that is In support of the theory that humans, have a basic psychological aspect to us, that prioritizes something or makes something “matter.” The thing that matters drives us throughout life. This mattering project varies from person to person and may have good or bad results. Furthermore, this prioritizing or mattering comes to be because of a subconscious, existentialist process.
In her exploration of mattering, Goldstein delves into biology, evolution, psychology, physics, and lots of philosophy. She does so in interesting and insightful ways. Much of the book is composed of mini – biographies of both famous and not so famous people as the author describes how individuals were influenced by their mattering projects.
With all that, I am not fully convinced of the author’s final premise; that because we must prioritize ourselves in life, that this drives an existential crisis in everyone that leads us to develop a mattering project where we find meaning. Instead, an alternate theory, that Goldstein mentions, involving evolved tendencies in humans seems more plausible to me. Nevertheless, regardless of its origins in people, mattering seems real and important, so the book is full of insightful observations and fascinating philosophizing. This seems to be an important topic.
Those who like to delve into psychology, philosophy and who like ruminating on what makes our minds act the way they do will get a lot out of this book. Regardless of ones take on the ultimate premise, this work has a lot of worthwhile things to say.
In her exploration of mattering, Goldstein delves into biology, evolution, psychology, physics, and lots of philosophy. She does so in interesting and insightful ways. Much of the book is composed of mini – biographies of both famous and not so famous people as the author describes how individuals were influenced by their mattering projects.
With all that, I am not fully convinced of the author’s final premise; that because we must prioritize ourselves in life, that this drives an existential crisis in everyone that leads us to develop a mattering project where we find meaning. Instead, an alternate theory, that Goldstein mentions, involving evolved tendencies in humans seems more plausible to me. Nevertheless, regardless of its origins in people, mattering seems real and important, so the book is full of insightful observations and fascinating philosophizing. This seems to be an important topic.
Those who like to delve into psychology, philosophy and who like ruminating on what makes our minds act the way they do will get a lot out of this book. Regardless of ones take on the ultimate premise, this work has a lot of worthwhile things to say.
January 19, 2026
I thought this book was about meaning, but it was about desire to be important what Goldstein calls 'mattering'. I was expecting a sharper philosophical investigation; instead, it relies heavily on anecdotes and biographical narratives.
Goldstein groups people into four by how they pursue mattering:
- Heroic striver: achievement motivation
- Competitor: social comparison orientation, tendency to instrumentalize others
- Transcender: religious/spiritual orientation
- Socializer: belonging/affiliation motivation
The book mostly consists of life stories that fall into each category. Those categories are presented as heuristics rather than as a framework supported by systematic empirical validation.
Goldstein groups people into four by how they pursue mattering:
- Heroic striver: achievement motivation
- Competitor: social comparison orientation, tendency to instrumentalize others
- Transcender: religious/spiritual orientation
- Socializer: belonging/affiliation motivation
The book mostly consists of life stories that fall into each category. Those categories are presented as heuristics rather than as a framework supported by systematic empirical validation.
February 1, 2026
Very intriguing. I do think the categories are well thought out and useful in terms of understanding others. I think her ending was her falling into the trap of hypocrisy that she actually lays out in the book but over all a thought provoking read!
January 26, 2026
We all long to matter. Needing to matter drives some of our most selfish and selfless impulses. Some people choose to pursue mattering by harming others; they seem to believe they have to matter more than someone else. Some choose to pursue mattering by creating something new to benefit themselves and others. Others choose different forms of mattering.
This book got me to think a bit about how I pursue mattering and what I see in others. I don't quite fit the categories, but I'm guessing those were based on allistic (nonautistic) people. Perhaps autistic people like me are a bit different with this.
I hadn't quite put this term to what I've seen with supremacists, but it makes sense to me. They seem to see mattering as a finite resource, and thus if someone else matters, they see it as taking something from them. So they choose to push back and "prove" they matter more.
I found this book fascinating. Sometimes the author provides extensive background, which is excellent for those who don't have it. It can be a bit tedious in parts if you have the background knowledge already, though I liked seeing how the author explained it in relation to the topic.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC!
This book got me to think a bit about how I pursue mattering and what I see in others. I don't quite fit the categories, but I'm guessing those were based on allistic (nonautistic) people. Perhaps autistic people like me are a bit different with this.
I hadn't quite put this term to what I've seen with supremacists, but it makes sense to me. They seem to see mattering as a finite resource, and thus if someone else matters, they see it as taking something from them. So they choose to push back and "prove" they matter more.
I found this book fascinating. Sometimes the author provides extensive background, which is excellent for those who don't have it. It can be a bit tedious in parts if you have the background knowledge already, though I liked seeing how the author explained it in relation to the topic.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC!
February 5, 2026
Interesting and Educational
This was a very interesting book to read. Author Rebecca Goldstein argues that humans are unique among animals because our advanced brains spend so much time focusing on ourselves that we then are forced to justify all that attention to the world at large. And how our need to matter (to ourselves and everyone else) can drive some incredible achievements but also be the blame for some heinous actions.
Some of the tangents in this book were, in my opinion, unnecessary (I didn't need a whole chapter on entropy) while some helped her make her point. I found her explanation of eudaimonia very enlightening (eudaimonia is living a life of deep satisfaction as opposed to seeking fleeting happiness). As someone without children, I also found her section on the "parenthood paradox" to be interesting ("prospective parents imagine that children will increase their happiness, the reverse is true. Parents tend to experience less happiness than the childless") as well as her explanation for it ("the United States had the largest happiness penalty for parenthood among the 22 developed countries . . .Since the U.S. is the only major industrialized nation left without guaranteed parenting leave, paid sick and vacation days.")
Goldstein also spent a little time discussing the Axial Age which got me interested enough in the subject to seek out a book about it. It is interesting that once we humans became civilized enough that many people had their base needs met (food, shelter, etc) the major religions began popping up all around the world (as one philosopher put it, "Grub first, then ethics.") and I think that all ties into our advances brains. We are the only animals with the intelligence enough to contemplate our own existence and to be aware of our own inevitable demise. Other animals certainly have a survival instinct but it's doubtful they spend their time wondering what it all means and thinking there has to be a bigger purpose to it all. With death as an inevitable end for us all, it's no wonder we seek escape from that fate in the form of religions that give us another go around (reincarnation) or an eternity of bliss. Which isn't to say those options are false, but if humans created them, it makes sense why we did.
I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars. it was a little meandering at points so it wasn't quite perfect but in the end I learned a lot and was interested throughout most of the book.
This was a very interesting book to read. Author Rebecca Goldstein argues that humans are unique among animals because our advanced brains spend so much time focusing on ourselves that we then are forced to justify all that attention to the world at large. And how our need to matter (to ourselves and everyone else) can drive some incredible achievements but also be the blame for some heinous actions.
Some of the tangents in this book were, in my opinion, unnecessary (I didn't need a whole chapter on entropy) while some helped her make her point. I found her explanation of eudaimonia very enlightening (eudaimonia is living a life of deep satisfaction as opposed to seeking fleeting happiness). As someone without children, I also found her section on the "parenthood paradox" to be interesting ("prospective parents imagine that children will increase their happiness, the reverse is true. Parents tend to experience less happiness than the childless") as well as her explanation for it ("the United States had the largest happiness penalty for parenthood among the 22 developed countries . . .Since the U.S. is the only major industrialized nation left without guaranteed parenting leave, paid sick and vacation days.")
Goldstein also spent a little time discussing the Axial Age which got me interested enough in the subject to seek out a book about it. It is interesting that once we humans became civilized enough that many people had their base needs met (food, shelter, etc) the major religions began popping up all around the world (as one philosopher put it, "Grub first, then ethics.") and I think that all ties into our advances brains. We are the only animals with the intelligence enough to contemplate our own existence and to be aware of our own inevitable demise. Other animals certainly have a survival instinct but it's doubtful they spend their time wondering what it all means and thinking there has to be a bigger purpose to it all. With death as an inevitable end for us all, it's no wonder we seek escape from that fate in the form of religions that give us another go around (reincarnation) or an eternity of bliss. Which isn't to say those options are false, but if humans created them, it makes sense why we did.
I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars. it was a little meandering at points so it wasn't quite perfect but in the end I learned a lot and was interested throughout most of the book.
February 1, 2026
I rarely highlight passages when I read, but this book had me reaching for the pen repeatedly.
Goldstein's central claim is simple: the longing to matter is the engine behind almost everything we do. Not Maslow's pyramid where you work your way up to meaning after handling the basics. The mattering instinct runs underneath everything, constantly.
Her taxonomy of how people pursue mattering—transcenders, socializers, heroic strivers, competitors—gave me a new lens for understanding people whose choices previously seemed inexplicable. The stories she tells to illustrate these types are what make the book work. This isn't dry philosophy.
The passages on relationships and how people get pulled into destructive groups stuck with me most. You can't argue someone out of a mattering project. They leave only when they find an alternative path to mattering that works better.
Where I struggled: Goldstein's standard for healthy mattering is whether it increases flourishing, connection, knowledge, beauty. But everyone believes their project does this. The framework offers no defense against self-deception. It's a sharp tool for understanding others but suspiciously forgiving when turned on oneself.
Still—the book changed how I see people. That's enough.
Goldstein's central claim is simple: the longing to matter is the engine behind almost everything we do. Not Maslow's pyramid where you work your way up to meaning after handling the basics. The mattering instinct runs underneath everything, constantly.
Her taxonomy of how people pursue mattering—transcenders, socializers, heroic strivers, competitors—gave me a new lens for understanding people whose choices previously seemed inexplicable. The stories she tells to illustrate these types are what make the book work. This isn't dry philosophy.
The passages on relationships and how people get pulled into destructive groups stuck with me most. You can't argue someone out of a mattering project. They leave only when they find an alternative path to mattering that works better.
Where I struggled: Goldstein's standard for healthy mattering is whether it increases flourishing, connection, knowledge, beauty. But everyone believes their project does this. The framework offers no defense against self-deception. It's a sharp tool for understanding others but suspiciously forgiving when turned on oneself.
Still—the book changed how I see people. That's enough.
February 11, 2026
Mattering is something a lot of us take for granted, and it’s one of the reasons I grabbed this book. The author is a philosopher, and this is a super good book discussing the importance of mattering. She discusses how it can lift us up when we feel like we matter, or it can lead us to some terrible things when we feel like we don’t matter.
At times, there are too many stories in the book. I would have preferred she stick to the philosophy stuff. But other than that, phenomenal book.
At times, there are too many stories in the book. I would have preferred she stick to the philosophy stuff. But other than that, phenomenal book.
February 7, 2026
Rebecca Goldstein builds a rigorous case for something that feels intuitive - we need to matter. A part of me kept thinking she's proving what we already know. I guess there's value in having the research and language for it.
What was interesting was her mention of Martin Seligman's 2018 workshop on mattering and that it predicts organizational health and employee success.
2018 seems late to this insight. haven't we been talking about purpose in the workplace forever?
What was interesting was her mention of Martin Seligman's 2018 workshop on mattering and that it predicts organizational health and employee success.
2018 seems late to this insight. haven't we been talking about purpose in the workplace forever?
February 3, 2026
This book is more enriching than my rating suggests. Goldstein has found a vocabulary for a litany of feelings that seem universal and universally important. The last 2 chapters are deeply moving. This is a book I will reread. But that doesn't make it a superbly well-written one.
While I liked the content, much of it could have been condensed into an outstanding Substack article. I think that would have been a better format for Goldstein's ideas. But a book carries respect inaccessible to web pages. Hopefully, it carries more longevity as well.
While I liked the content, much of it could have been condensed into an outstanding Substack article. I think that would have been a better format for Goldstein's ideas. But a book carries respect inaccessible to web pages. Hopefully, it carries more longevity as well.
February 7, 2026
I don't know. It isn't completely wrong but didn't feel right to me either. I accept that there is a basic human tendency to find things that matter and then try to give them importance in our lives, but I'm not so sure that it is fundamental. It dances around more basic issues, such as free will and the old philosophical question of the one and the many. I see "mattering" more as a useful lens for analyzing behaviors that in some cases can work well, and in other cases is more likely to be a psychological Procrustean bed. It is a bit like analyzing literature through a Marxist or Freudian or Feminist lens; you can do it with any work of fiction, and it fits some like a glove, but others not. Still, it can almost always reveal some truth as long as you don't take it too seriously. I felt, for example, that none of Ms. Goldstein's four strategies for mattering fit me. There were elements of me in all of them, but I cross over back and forth between them and then sometimes color outside the lines completely.
I found it interesting that Ms. Goldstein rejects the importance of asking "What matters?" as a general question that should have the same answer for everyone. She makes a decent case that the concept is better understood and applied on an individual level. What matters to you may be different from what matters to me. That got me wondering about whether the whole concept of mattering really applies outside of contemporary individualist societies in the Western European tradition. Maybe in a more collectivist Asian society it would be more "What matters to us?" than "What matters to me?". Or in Buddhist thinking where the ego is dissolved don't you either have to ask the generalized "What matters?" or quit asking the question at all since there is no "you" to ask it?
I found it interesting that Ms. Goldstein rejects the importance of asking "What matters?" as a general question that should have the same answer for everyone. She makes a decent case that the concept is better understood and applied on an individual level. What matters to you may be different from what matters to me. That got me wondering about whether the whole concept of mattering really applies outside of contemporary individualist societies in the Western European tradition. Maybe in a more collectivist Asian society it would be more "What matters to us?" than "What matters to me?". Or in Buddhist thinking where the ego is dissolved don't you either have to ask the generalized "What matters?" or quit asking the question at all since there is no "you" to ask it?
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
We all want to matter
This book introduced me to a universal human need that I now recognize and acknowledge but had never really thought of---the need to MATTER. Everyone wants to matter, to live lives we see as meaningful . We want to matter in different ways, though, depending on your personality and circumstances. Goldstein identifies and explores four mattering types: socializers, transcenders, competitors, and heroic strivers. She gave me a lot of food for thought.
Unfortunately, the book was spoiled for me by the author’s style , which I found wordy and academic. At one point I even entered a comment, “pompous gobbledegook”. A good example (and shorter than most} is “We are not only gregarious but altricial---meaning born helpless and requiring long periods of care from others.(The root comes from Latin alere -meaning to nurture, to nurse- making for the other half of alma mater.)." First of all, it would be best in general not to use a word you do not think your reader will know. If you think it is a term they should know or that you will be using a lot, it is good to define it, but you really do not need to provide the derivation. It is off-topic, even for readers like me who are interested in language. There are wonderful very appropriate references in the book to thinkers, writers, and leaders in the past and present day, but she too often added irrelevant information about the person, which annoyed me. Get back on track!
If you can be patient and not be put off by the writing, there are some very good ideas in this book that can help you understand your own motivations and that of others. And that is certainly something that matters.
I received an advance review copy of this book from Edelweiss and Liveright publishers.
This book introduced me to a universal human need that I now recognize and acknowledge but had never really thought of---the need to MATTER. Everyone wants to matter, to live lives we see as meaningful . We want to matter in different ways, though, depending on your personality and circumstances. Goldstein identifies and explores four mattering types: socializers, transcenders, competitors, and heroic strivers. She gave me a lot of food for thought.
Unfortunately, the book was spoiled for me by the author’s style , which I found wordy and academic. At one point I even entered a comment, “pompous gobbledegook”. A good example (and shorter than most} is “We are not only gregarious but altricial---meaning born helpless and requiring long periods of care from others.(The root comes from Latin alere -meaning to nurture, to nurse- making for the other half of alma mater.)." First of all, it would be best in general not to use a word you do not think your reader will know. If you think it is a term they should know or that you will be using a lot, it is good to define it, but you really do not need to provide the derivation. It is off-topic, even for readers like me who are interested in language. There are wonderful very appropriate references in the book to thinkers, writers, and leaders in the past and present day, but she too often added irrelevant information about the person, which annoyed me. Get back on track!
If you can be patient and not be put off by the writing, there are some very good ideas in this book that can help you understand your own motivations and that of others. And that is certainly something that matters.
I received an advance review copy of this book from Edelweiss and Liveright publishers.
January 16, 2026
This book isn't an easy read because it delves into psychology, physics, metaphysics, sociology, and philosophy. It's a smogorsboard of concepts but it does do a good job walking through the basis of the concept of Mattering and how that drives us. Should be read by anyone trying to lead organizations motivate people on their mission and values.
January 19, 2026
Superb! Should be a must read for anyone who is curious about the human condition!
February 1, 2026
3.5 stars
February 4, 2026
An interesting read, especially as it rightfully gives more perspective than answers regarding the need to matter and how to achieve that need.
February 9, 2026
I enjoyed this book- especially the real-life examples of individuals. I listened to the book on audio and will go back to read it at some point on paper- it is that good.
February 8, 2026
2,5 stars; what a hype; I am not at all on board with the whole central thesis of the 'mattering instinct' as a term that actually contributes anything new; it is merely a fancy way of talking about the self-sustaining (and sine-qua-non) attribute of life (and by extensions human lives); persistence; the continuation of the phenomenon of life itself; the autotelic nature of a phenomenon that persists; of course it will act in service of its own persistence, i.e. it instinctively gravitates to 'mattering'; and the actuality of its being is living (pun intended) proof of its 'mattering'.
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