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The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles, Volume One
Deidre finds herself out of a job, out of luck, and out of time. The rent is past due, and the list of her employable skills is smaller than her checking account balance. Hope comes in the form of Betsy Riddle of the Bullseye Employment Agency who gives Deidre one shot at staying out of a fast food restaurant uniform.
A mysterious gentleman with certain "peculiarities" is seeking a housekeeper.
Deidre squeezes into her only nice pair of slacks, tames her wild orange hair, and starts off for the job interview that will either change her life….or end it.
Thus begins Deidre's hilarious adventures as the housekeeper of a cranky vampire. Nathaniel is unliving proof that tempers don't always sweeten with age. He stubbornly clings to his gramophone, insists on wearing a cape to meet guests, considers the television to be "witch magic," and gets murderous when his prune juice runs low.
The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles, Vol. 1 includes five fast-paced and humorous short stories and a novella that follow Deidre as she struggles to keep on the right side of her boss's fangs, clean a haunted mansion where the walls bleed on a daily basis, and catch the eye of a certain hunky wereferret.
Filled with a kaleidoscope characters from inept poltergeists, smelly zombies, chatty ninjas, obese werefrogs, and senior citizen vampire hunters...this series has it all! Each story builds upon the last, adding more laughs, more action, and more adventure to Deidre's world.
Deidre is an unlikely, enjoyable, and very human heroine who proves that being a vampire's housekeeper doesn't have to suck. Don't miss out on a single story in The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles series with this great collection.
Includes:
PART ONE: EMPLOYMENT INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE
PART TWO: THE VAMPIRE HUNTER COMES TO CALL
PART THREE: DUEL WITH THE WEREFROG
PART FOUR: WHEN NINJAS AND VAMPIRES COLLIDE
PART FIVE: DEATH IN THE FAMILY
PART SIX: APPRENTICESHIP WITH A VAMPIRE
A mysterious gentleman with certain "peculiarities" is seeking a housekeeper.
Deidre squeezes into her only nice pair of slacks, tames her wild orange hair, and starts off for the job interview that will either change her life….or end it.
Thus begins Deidre's hilarious adventures as the housekeeper of a cranky vampire. Nathaniel is unliving proof that tempers don't always sweeten with age. He stubbornly clings to his gramophone, insists on wearing a cape to meet guests, considers the television to be "witch magic," and gets murderous when his prune juice runs low.
The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles, Vol. 1 includes five fast-paced and humorous short stories and a novella that follow Deidre as she struggles to keep on the right side of her boss's fangs, clean a haunted mansion where the walls bleed on a daily basis, and catch the eye of a certain hunky wereferret.
Filled with a kaleidoscope characters from inept poltergeists, smelly zombies, chatty ninjas, obese werefrogs, and senior citizen vampire hunters...this series has it all! Each story builds upon the last, adding more laughs, more action, and more adventure to Deidre's world.
Deidre is an unlikely, enjoyable, and very human heroine who proves that being a vampire's housekeeper doesn't have to suck. Don't miss out on a single story in The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles series with this great collection.
Includes:
PART ONE: EMPLOYMENT INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE
PART TWO: THE VAMPIRE HUNTER COMES TO CALL
PART THREE: DUEL WITH THE WEREFROG
PART FOUR: WHEN NINJAS AND VAMPIRES COLLIDE
PART FIVE: DEATH IN THE FAMILY
PART SIX: APPRENTICESHIP WITH A VAMPIRE
368 pages, Paperback
First published September 30, 2014
41 people are currently reading
563 people want to read
About the author
J. Bennett
46 books75 followersJ Bennett lives and writes in San Diego. Her writing partner is a bunny named Avalon who contributes to each manuscript by trying to eat it. His adorableness is his primary strength as a writer.
J Bennett is a professional copywriter and an author who loves asking that oh-so-dangerous question – “What if?” She currently writes a paranormal adventure series, Girl With Broken Wings, and a tongue-in-cheek short story series, The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles, featuring a very old, very grouchy, very non-sparkly vampire and his patient housekeeper.
She also writes the blog www.ShyWriter.com
Find J Bennett online at www.jbennettwrites.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jbennettwrites.
J Bennett is a professional copywriter and an author who loves asking that oh-so-dangerous question – “What if?” She currently writes a paranormal adventure series, Girl With Broken Wings, and a tongue-in-cheek short story series, The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles, featuring a very old, very grouchy, very non-sparkly vampire and his patient housekeeper.
She also writes the blog www.ShyWriter.com
Find J Bennett online at www.jbennettwrites.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jbennettwrites.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
February 8, 2015
I think this one deserves a full review. Give me a few days to figure out something witty.
August 18, 2020
Housekeeper Wanted - Must Be Able To Clean Bloodstains
Deirdre's desperate for a job but despite having been scared to death, she realizes she must take on cooking and cleaning for a vampire if she doesn't want to be homeless. Or to have to live with her stepmother again. This is a rollicking good read with very relatable monsters. Except the vampire. He's just plain obnoxious and archaic. Mostly.
Deirdre's desperate for a job but despite having been scared to death, she realizes she must take on cooking and cleaning for a vampire if she doesn't want to be homeless. Or to have to live with her stepmother again. This is a rollicking good read with very relatable monsters. Except the vampire. He's just plain obnoxious and archaic. Mostly.
December 6, 2020
Wonderful Series
I laughed and cried through the whole series. J Bennet put an entirely different perspective on vampires and other supernatural beings. I am richer in mind and spirit just by reading the series.
I laughed and cried through the whole series. J Bennet put an entirely different perspective on vampires and other supernatural beings. I am richer in mind and spirit just by reading the series.
July 30, 2017
Very funny read. I can't wait to read the next installment.
February 9, 2018
Great laughs
This is an incredibly funny take on vampires werewolves in the paranormal society. I really enjoyed reading this story and I love the laughs that it gave me.
This is an incredibly funny take on vampires werewolves in the paranormal society. I really enjoyed reading this story and I love the laughs that it gave me.
January 18, 2015
I know the marketplace is flooded with books involving vampires right now, and really it has for years now. I've read lots of them as a guilty pleasure. This one stands out to me, though. I really liked Bennett's take on vampires and the supernatural world. Who writes about geriatric vampires, right? The main character Deirdre needs a job, and the lady at the employment agency basically tells her that being a housekeeper for an eccentric old man (I don't think she mentions vampire initially) is her only option. It's pretty ridiculous, but she takes the job, promises of a nice paycheck and room and board being the answer to her piling bills and sudden unemployment.
In Volume 1, you see how Deirdre adjusts to her new life in a world she didn't really know at all and how it interacts with the world she has always known. I really enjoyed the butcher shop interaction. I wouldn't have thought of that, but oh my gosh, it's funny. You see her solution to her boss's loneliness, meet Bigfoot (who's a really nice guy), and see Deirdre crush on her version of manly perfection. You get to meet the house ghosts (love Dex) and learn about how she deals with a haunted house with a touchy personality. I really enjoyed how this all was broken down, too. It's told from Deirdre's perspective, so there's none of the campy junk you read in most vampire stuff, unless it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.
I really liked how Nathaniel never really snaps out of the fact that the times have changed. That can get pretty annoying, but Bennett handles it really well. It's not really overdone, but it is there. I also really liked how everything that is normally really extraordinary is treated so matter-of-factly. There's an awesome sense of the ridiculous in this that I loved. The last story in the set was my favorite, by far. The characters were a bit fuller, and the story had time to grow. Hearing about the "interviews" with Nathaniel's would-be apprentices are great. I chuckled a lot at those.
I wasn't always a fan of Deirdre's lack of self-esteem, but I think that it was meant to make it easier to relate to her. I thought it might have been a tad overplayed. I was annoyed by Joe's speech, but again, I think it was to help the reader envision the character. We all have the character we just wish would go away. I did like him, though, in the last section and how the would-be vampire's apprentice talked to him. He was so pleased! That was cute. Drew's character grew quite a bit, which was welcome for a collection of short stories. Short story characters tend to be pretty static. Hunter is great! I think he ended up as my favorite character, by the end.
In all, I really did enjoy this book. It's definitely worth picking up if you want an easy read with some giggles. I like giggles, and I'm always on the hunt for new authors that I'll get them from. Her take on the supernatural is nice and original, which I really liked.
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
In Volume 1, you see how Deirdre adjusts to her new life in a world she didn't really know at all and how it interacts with the world she has always known. I really enjoyed the butcher shop interaction. I wouldn't have thought of that, but oh my gosh, it's funny. You see her solution to her boss's loneliness, meet Bigfoot (who's a really nice guy), and see Deirdre crush on her version of manly perfection. You get to meet the house ghosts (love Dex) and learn about how she deals with a haunted house with a touchy personality. I really enjoyed how this all was broken down, too. It's told from Deirdre's perspective, so there's none of the campy junk you read in most vampire stuff, unless it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.
I really liked how Nathaniel never really snaps out of the fact that the times have changed. That can get pretty annoying, but Bennett handles it really well. It's not really overdone, but it is there. I also really liked how everything that is normally really extraordinary is treated so matter-of-factly. There's an awesome sense of the ridiculous in this that I loved. The last story in the set was my favorite, by far. The characters were a bit fuller, and the story had time to grow. Hearing about the "interviews" with Nathaniel's would-be apprentices are great. I chuckled a lot at those.
I wasn't always a fan of Deirdre's lack of self-esteem, but I think that it was meant to make it easier to relate to her. I thought it might have been a tad overplayed. I was annoyed by Joe's speech, but again, I think it was to help the reader envision the character. We all have the character we just wish would go away. I did like him, though, in the last section and how the would-be vampire's apprentice talked to him. He was so pleased! That was cute. Drew's character grew quite a bit, which was welcome for a collection of short stories. Short story characters tend to be pretty static. Hunter is great! I think he ended up as my favorite character, by the end.
In all, I really did enjoy this book. It's definitely worth picking up if you want an easy read with some giggles. I like giggles, and I'm always on the hunt for new authors that I'll get them from. Her take on the supernatural is nice and original, which I really liked.
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
October 1, 2014
Move over Edward Cullen, Nathaniel needs his prune juice, ASAP
What do you get when you pair a geriatric vampire with a sarcastic, desperate, and unemployable mortal? You get witty banter, laugh-out-loud moments, and a perfect melody of imagination and cringe-worthy horror. Throw in some werefrogs and a ninja, maybe a few unsuspecting Mormons and ghosts, and you've got a recipe for comical greatness. This collection of stories will leave your mouth gaping, all while appreciating how clever it actually is.
Each tale is short, entertaining, and leaves you wondering what the inappropriate, old school Nathaniel will do next--who he'll eat and what he'll say. Deirdre is the yin to Nathaniel's yang. Her no-nonsense personality and sarcasm are truly enjoyable, making her and Nathaniel the perfect pair. The greatest part of it all is that each story is short, providing the reader with the perfect interim read between novels and a diversion from life in general. The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles is a wonderful satire on the world of Vampires as we "know" them today.
I recommend this to everyone who doesn't take life too seriously and can take a joke, even if it's completely offensive, because let's face it, when you're a centuries-old vampire who thinks the television is a thing of sorcery and a woman over the age of twenty is a hopeless old maid, you're in for a world of "did he seriously just say that?"
What do you get when you pair a geriatric vampire with a sarcastic, desperate, and unemployable mortal? You get witty banter, laugh-out-loud moments, and a perfect melody of imagination and cringe-worthy horror. Throw in some werefrogs and a ninja, maybe a few unsuspecting Mormons and ghosts, and you've got a recipe for comical greatness. This collection of stories will leave your mouth gaping, all while appreciating how clever it actually is.
Each tale is short, entertaining, and leaves you wondering what the inappropriate, old school Nathaniel will do next--who he'll eat and what he'll say. Deirdre is the yin to Nathaniel's yang. Her no-nonsense personality and sarcasm are truly enjoyable, making her and Nathaniel the perfect pair. The greatest part of it all is that each story is short, providing the reader with the perfect interim read between novels and a diversion from life in general. The Vampire’s Housekeeper Chronicles is a wonderful satire on the world of Vampires as we "know" them today.
I recommend this to everyone who doesn't take life too seriously and can take a joke, even if it's completely offensive, because let's face it, when you're a centuries-old vampire who thinks the television is a thing of sorcery and a woman over the age of twenty is a hopeless old maid, you're in for a world of "did he seriously just say that?"
January 24, 2015
The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles Volume One by J. Bennett - 4 stars
I can honestly say that I never would have read these short stories if they weren't in book form. It would be like reading one chapter at a time. I like to (pardon the pun) sink my teeth into a book and not come up for air until I'm done. I don't want to have to go looking around for the next chapter. I am very glad that these were all put together for me. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed the short stories in Volume 1 of The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles. Each one flowed easily into the next and, to my delight, they were very well-written. The characters are engaging and enjoyable. Yes, Deidre's lack of self-esteem started to get on my nerves, but it is her personality traits that really make the stories come alive. Throw in a vampire curmudgeon living in the past who loves I Dream of Jeannie and prune juice, a couple of delightfully naughty ghosts, a house that has a mind of its' own, a zombie who keeps losing body parts and various sundry other characters (yes, even Bigfoot), a lot of laugh out loud humour, and you end up with a very entertaining story to read.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for an independent, honest review.)
I can honestly say that I never would have read these short stories if they weren't in book form. It would be like reading one chapter at a time. I like to (pardon the pun) sink my teeth into a book and not come up for air until I'm done. I don't want to have to go looking around for the next chapter. I am very glad that these were all put together for me. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed the short stories in Volume 1 of The Vampire's Housekeeper Chronicles. Each one flowed easily into the next and, to my delight, they were very well-written. The characters are engaging and enjoyable. Yes, Deidre's lack of self-esteem started to get on my nerves, but it is her personality traits that really make the stories come alive. Throw in a vampire curmudgeon living in the past who loves I Dream of Jeannie and prune juice, a couple of delightfully naughty ghosts, a house that has a mind of its' own, a zombie who keeps losing body parts and various sundry other characters (yes, even Bigfoot), a lot of laugh out loud humour, and you end up with a very entertaining story to read.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for an independent, honest review.)
January 10, 2015
A Strange Duo
Deidre, who is the vampire, Nathaniel's housekeeper, is a character that I can understand. She is not a beauty nor is she super model thin. She an average woman, who just ends up being a housekeeper to a old, cranky vampire. She puts up with his antiquity sense of how people should dress and behave.
Nathaniel on the other hand is not your usual vampire. He drinks prune juice, for goodness sake. He is cranky and old fashion. He has no clue how to get around in today's society or even use modern contraptions.
There is an unusual cast of characters that make life interesting and entertaining.
The only thing I had a problem with this book was that it felt disconnected at times. I would read more about these characters because they are interesting and I want to find out more about their lives.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Deidre, who is the vampire, Nathaniel's housekeeper, is a character that I can understand. She is not a beauty nor is she super model thin. She an average woman, who just ends up being a housekeeper to a old, cranky vampire. She puts up with his antiquity sense of how people should dress and behave.
Nathaniel on the other hand is not your usual vampire. He drinks prune juice, for goodness sake. He is cranky and old fashion. He has no clue how to get around in today's society or even use modern contraptions.
There is an unusual cast of characters that make life interesting and entertaining.
The only thing I had a problem with this book was that it felt disconnected at times. I would read more about these characters because they are interesting and I want to find out more about their lives.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 16, 2015
I really don't know where to start...I loved, loved, loved this book! It was a laugh-out-loud, make sure you don't drink anything (so you won't spit it out), you're gonna snort when you laugh kinda book.
I relate totally to poor Deidre...I thought my kids were bad, but the ghosts, pets, and three-eyed rats sure sound worse then they are!
I don't think I would sign up to work with Nathaniel even if I had a pile of bills to the ceiling, but somehow she manages and tries her best in what she can do.
I got this book free for an honest review...and I can definitely say- READ THIS BOOK!!! It will make you happy with your job, and will bring a smile to your face! Hopefully there will be a Volume Two in this series...We need to know what happens next in their "lives!"
I relate totally to poor Deidre...I thought my kids were bad, but the ghosts, pets, and three-eyed rats sure sound worse then they are!
I don't think I would sign up to work with Nathaniel even if I had a pile of bills to the ceiling, but somehow she manages and tries her best in what she can do.
I got this book free for an honest review...and I can definitely say- READ THIS BOOK!!! It will make you happy with your job, and will bring a smile to your face! Hopefully there will be a Volume Two in this series...We need to know what happens next in their "lives!"
December 20, 2015
I found this book on Amazon as a recommendation after the stumbling onto How to be Dead by Dave Turner. I'm no fan of paranormal or vampires but this book is fun, slightly dark at times, silly at times, but always witty. Author J. Bennett has a great sense of humor and the lead character, Deirdra, is easy to connect with because she's "average" like most of us. But she's thrust into the crazy world of vampire's, Bigfoot, and strange, eccentric people but manages to take just about everything in stride. Good, fast read and just entertaining.
January 17, 2015
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I loved this book! Couldn't put it down. Can't wait to read more about these characters.
This is a collection of short stories about Deidre, housekeeper to Nathaniel, and the crazy life she leads due to that position.
I loved this book! Couldn't put it down. Can't wait to read more about these characters.
This is a collection of short stories about Deidre, housekeeper to Nathaniel, and the crazy life she leads due to that position.
January 24, 2015
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review
This book was a pleasant surprise. I laughed so hard at times people looked at me like I was crazy. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone. I liked the characters and the story.
This book was a pleasant surprise. I laughed so hard at times people looked at me like I was crazy. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone. I liked the characters and the story.
March 15, 2015
It's a bit like binge watching your favorite television series. The characters are fascinating and the hi-jinx are sufficiently zany. While vampires, ghost, were-creatures and zombies may have become a bit mundane and common, the characters in the book are anything but.
November 3, 2015
Laugh Out Loud Funny
Deirdre, our poor heroine, has a college degree and ends up working as a housekeeper for an old fashioned, narrow mind vampire. These stories of her daily life is so funny. I sure hope there are more stories to come.
Great read!
Deirdre, our poor heroine, has a college degree and ends up working as a housekeeper for an old fashioned, narrow mind vampire. These stories of her daily life is so funny. I sure hope there are more stories to come.
Great read!
October 2, 2014
Amazing!Funny!
October 27, 2014
I absolutely hate having to classify a book as a DNF, but I just couldn't push through this one. I'm going to do a very brief review discussing one of the stories from this volume that I enjoyed.
August 6, 2015
Not your usual vampire novel
I loved these books. I want to know what happens next!! The humor and wit are great. I laughed my way through this. Well done and well crafted.
I loved these books. I want to know what happens next!! The humor and wit are great. I laughed my way through this. Well done and well crafted.
January 10, 2017
Cute. Kinda like a Christopher Moore short.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews