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Buy Me the Sky: The remarkable truth of China's one-child generations
With journalistic acumen and a novelist's flair, Xinran tells the remarkable stories of men and women born in China after 1979 - the recent generations raised under China's single-child policy. At a time when the country continues to transform at the speed of light, these generations of precious 'one and onlies' are burdened with expectation, yet have often been brought up without any sense of responsibility. Within their families, they are revered as 'little emperors' and 'suns', although such cosseting can come at a high price: isolation, confusion and an inability to deal with life's challenges.
From the business man's son unable to pack his own suitcase, to the PhD student who pulled herself out of extreme rural poverty, Xinran shows how these generations embody the hopes and fears of a great nation at a time of unprecedented change. It is a time of fragmentation, heart-breaking and inspiring in equal measure, in which capitalism vies with communism, the city with the countryside and Western opportunity with Eastern tradition. Through the fascinating stories of these only children, we catch a startling glimpse of the emerging face of China.
From the business man's son unable to pack his own suitcase, to the PhD student who pulled herself out of extreme rural poverty, Xinran shows how these generations embody the hopes and fears of a great nation at a time of unprecedented change. It is a time of fragmentation, heart-breaking and inspiring in equal measure, in which capitalism vies with communism, the city with the countryside and Western opportunity with Eastern tradition. Through the fascinating stories of these only children, we catch a startling glimpse of the emerging face of China.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published May 7, 2015
48 people are currently reading
1069 people want to read
About the author
Xinran
14 books590 followersXue Xinran, who usually writes as simply "Xinran", was a radio broadcaster in China before moving to Great Britain and beginning to publish books. She currently writes as a columnist.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
October 5, 2017
3.5 ⛤
When I was young and naïve(r), I thought that some of the biggest issues had the simplest answers. Overpopulation of the planet was a hot topic, debated to death by my peer groups. People were starving and Bob was singing joyous songs that became hits all over the world that were going to save the masses. So, have less kids, improve infrastructure. Simple right?
Xinran explores, on a minute scale the consequences of my easy solution to having less kids, China’s one-child policy that from around 1966 to 1976 saw a reduction in about 400million in population growth. But at what cost to the nation and its people? To add complexity, China’s cultural weighting regarding the birth of male children to carry on the family legacy caused a massive side effect on female births and the tragedies that befell these poor unfortunates. So these are the facts, however added to the great historical facts reported in the volume, the concentration is on the psychological impacts of an entire generation of children being only-children. Wow, there are some special cases here, extreme in fact. The children born to this era (Xinran explores 9 specific one-child cases born between 1979 and 1984) are put on pedestals, adored, worshipped and akin to the Sun and the Moon in some families. Understandable too, you get one chance. That is all. There are no siblings, no competition, no need for these kids to fetch their own things, help with dinner, dishes or in fact any chores around the house. Many were not even allowed in the kitchen where knives and other dangerous items were to be found. They only knew home-school-homework-bed. There was nothing else, no movies, dating, and outings to the mall. No chance to mingle with kids their own age other than school, which is probably not comparable to the classrooms that you and I experienced! The question which binds the chapters involves the case of Yao Jiaxin, an only-child who accidentally ran over a woman who he perceived to be of a lower class, subsequently he sees her trying to record his license details (obviously with intention to report to the police), so when young Yao sees this, he proceeds to stab her death. 9 wounds. Is there a case for forgiveness because he was raised to feel special, superior, untouchable? Or can this case be attributed to the policy rather than the individual? Is there a case for death sentence? Yao Jiaxin, in his panic to get away actually ran over a second individual before making his getaway. A week later, accompanied by his mum and dad he walks into the police station to hand himself in.
This is an extremely difficult book to read, if you have any clue about China’s history and culture, a lot of it will not be new, but the consequence for these kids growing up without brothers and sisters, alone, not many cousins, and consequently when they reach adulthood, no niece, nephew, uncles and even less aunties. Wow, 10 million families that experienced this uniqueness.
As an adult now, somewhat older, not necessarily wiser, I still believe that we are overpopulated and that we could do with a reduced birth-rate overall. I am however wiser to the variety of consequences that forcing these conditions on entire nations, or generations of people can have.
As for my rating, I am giving this 3.5 stars because it only really skimmed the surface of the issue and focused on 9 kids that were able to get out of China, study abroad and were thus well-to-do or in some cases quite well off and from significant families of politicians or officials from the government. There is no saying that children born to these kinds of families in any nation are not pampered, don’t know how to boil an egg, put the laundry on, hang a shirt on a hanger. I do wish that a second volume was written that focused on what the impacts were to the lower socio-economic to middle class families and their only-children were. It would read very differently I am certain.
When I was young and naïve(r), I thought that some of the biggest issues had the simplest answers. Overpopulation of the planet was a hot topic, debated to death by my peer groups. People were starving and Bob was singing joyous songs that became hits all over the world that were going to save the masses. So, have less kids, improve infrastructure. Simple right?
Xinran explores, on a minute scale the consequences of my easy solution to having less kids, China’s one-child policy that from around 1966 to 1976 saw a reduction in about 400million in population growth. But at what cost to the nation and its people? To add complexity, China’s cultural weighting regarding the birth of male children to carry on the family legacy caused a massive side effect on female births and the tragedies that befell these poor unfortunates. So these are the facts, however added to the great historical facts reported in the volume, the concentration is on the psychological impacts of an entire generation of children being only-children. Wow, there are some special cases here, extreme in fact. The children born to this era (Xinran explores 9 specific one-child cases born between 1979 and 1984) are put on pedestals, adored, worshipped and akin to the Sun and the Moon in some families. Understandable too, you get one chance. That is all. There are no siblings, no competition, no need for these kids to fetch their own things, help with dinner, dishes or in fact any chores around the house. Many were not even allowed in the kitchen where knives and other dangerous items were to be found. They only knew home-school-homework-bed. There was nothing else, no movies, dating, and outings to the mall. No chance to mingle with kids their own age other than school, which is probably not comparable to the classrooms that you and I experienced! The question which binds the chapters involves the case of Yao Jiaxin, an only-child who accidentally ran over a woman who he perceived to be of a lower class, subsequently he sees her trying to record his license details (obviously with intention to report to the police), so when young Yao sees this, he proceeds to stab her death. 9 wounds. Is there a case for forgiveness because he was raised to feel special, superior, untouchable? Or can this case be attributed to the policy rather than the individual? Is there a case for death sentence? Yao Jiaxin, in his panic to get away actually ran over a second individual before making his getaway. A week later, accompanied by his mum and dad he walks into the police station to hand himself in.
This is an extremely difficult book to read, if you have any clue about China’s history and culture, a lot of it will not be new, but the consequence for these kids growing up without brothers and sisters, alone, not many cousins, and consequently when they reach adulthood, no niece, nephew, uncles and even less aunties. Wow, 10 million families that experienced this uniqueness.
As an adult now, somewhat older, not necessarily wiser, I still believe that we are overpopulated and that we could do with a reduced birth-rate overall. I am however wiser to the variety of consequences that forcing these conditions on entire nations, or generations of people can have.
As for my rating, I am giving this 3.5 stars because it only really skimmed the surface of the issue and focused on 9 kids that were able to get out of China, study abroad and were thus well-to-do or in some cases quite well off and from significant families of politicians or officials from the government. There is no saying that children born to these kinds of families in any nation are not pampered, don’t know how to boil an egg, put the laundry on, hang a shirt on a hanger. I do wish that a second volume was written that focused on what the impacts were to the lower socio-economic to middle class families and their only-children were. It would read very differently I am certain.
January 13, 2016
I am a big fan of Xinran’s books. It is still difficult to find female Chinese writers writing about women’s issues in China in English. While more Chinese women are taking up the pen regarding these issues, Xinran was one of the first. She was in China collecting women’s stories when many people in China thought those stories weren’t important. Her books The Good Women of China and Letters From an Unknown Chinese Mother were groundbreaking in their time. This time, Xinran has widened her scope and looks at the first generation of young men and women raised under the One-Child Policy in her new book Buy Me The Sky. Be sure to read my interview with her about this book here. http://www.twoamericansinchina.com/20...
While many theorists, psychologists, moralists, and even economists have all weighed in on what the outcome would be for China’s only children generations, we had to wait for those first only children to grow up before they could tell their own stories and begin to piece together the real emotional impact of what it means to be, not just an only child, but a country of only children. Xinran finds a group of these young people, mostly through casual acquaintance, and tells their stories.
Unfortunately, I think the stories are very limited. 9 of the 10 chapters (the 9 people who get a whole chapter to themselves) are students she met who were living abroad. That means these are all rather affluent people. There are some variations in their stories, one girl was a waitress and one young man was from the countryside and borrowed money from his extended family to leave China, but the type of person who has the opportunity to go abroad is very different from someone who cannot afford to school, or was a “left behind” child, or was denied a hukou. I think that chapter 10 was the strongest because it focused on all of those other ones, the ones she met in China. They are all lumped together though and I would have liked to have seen more variety throughout all of her interviewees.
Of course, no two people are alike. Even if she had 20 interviews in the book and had met Chinese youths from all over the world, in and out of China, the stories would not have been representative. How do you write a book about millions of people? It is impossible. This book at least offers a glimpse of what life was like for those kids. Hopefully this will be just a jumping off point for more writers, researchers, and the youths themselves to tell their stories.
This book is a good introduction to the One-Child Policy and what life was like for that first generation growing up under it.
Have you read Buy Me The Sky? What did you think? Let me know in the comments.
Read more at my blog: http://www.twoamericansinchina.com/20...
While many theorists, psychologists, moralists, and even economists have all weighed in on what the outcome would be for China’s only children generations, we had to wait for those first only children to grow up before they could tell their own stories and begin to piece together the real emotional impact of what it means to be, not just an only child, but a country of only children. Xinran finds a group of these young people, mostly through casual acquaintance, and tells their stories.
Unfortunately, I think the stories are very limited. 9 of the 10 chapters (the 9 people who get a whole chapter to themselves) are students she met who were living abroad. That means these are all rather affluent people. There are some variations in their stories, one girl was a waitress and one young man was from the countryside and borrowed money from his extended family to leave China, but the type of person who has the opportunity to go abroad is very different from someone who cannot afford to school, or was a “left behind” child, or was denied a hukou. I think that chapter 10 was the strongest because it focused on all of those other ones, the ones she met in China. They are all lumped together though and I would have liked to have seen more variety throughout all of her interviewees.
Of course, no two people are alike. Even if she had 20 interviews in the book and had met Chinese youths from all over the world, in and out of China, the stories would not have been representative. How do you write a book about millions of people? It is impossible. This book at least offers a glimpse of what life was like for those kids. Hopefully this will be just a jumping off point for more writers, researchers, and the youths themselves to tell their stories.
This book is a good introduction to the One-Child Policy and what life was like for that first generation growing up under it.
Have you read Buy Me The Sky? What did you think? Let me know in the comments.
Read more at my blog: http://www.twoamericansinchina.com/20...
August 4, 2016
The book, to be precise, should be titled 'Xinran's experiences of encountering with children of one-child families'. If you are in expecting either an approachable scientific study or even a journalistic piece, you will soon find author's voice a little bit overwhelming and too personal to be called 'truth'.
May 9, 2016
I was born in 1980, the first year of the fully-fledged one-child policy and so when I spent some of my childhood in China, my schoolmates were the first generation to be affected by it. I've therefore always followed the development of the one-child policy closely and when I heard Xinran speak about this issue on the radio, I was keen to read the book and discover the results of her research.
Unfortunately, I found the book to be highly anecdotal and greatly influenced by the author's opinions. The interviews were not conducted in a documentary manner; rather, they are simply a collection of the author's recollections of various conversations over decades, which are clearly written down long after the conversations took place. The conversations themselves were obviously not recorded or transcribed and so Xinran's re-imagining of them is overly dramatic and often does not ring true. She takes a great deal of poetic licence in her reporting and often intercedes to give the subject a lecture about what they should be doing better.
The topic is still interesting, but I expected (I think justifiably) a more objective piece of reporting. By the middle of the book I was tired of Xinran's moralising and just wanted to hear from the interviewees themselves.
Unfortunately, I found the book to be highly anecdotal and greatly influenced by the author's opinions. The interviews were not conducted in a documentary manner; rather, they are simply a collection of the author's recollections of various conversations over decades, which are clearly written down long after the conversations took place. The conversations themselves were obviously not recorded or transcribed and so Xinran's re-imagining of them is overly dramatic and often does not ring true. She takes a great deal of poetic licence in her reporting and often intercedes to give the subject a lecture about what they should be doing better.
The topic is still interesting, but I expected (I think justifiably) a more objective piece of reporting. By the middle of the book I was tired of Xinran's moralising and just wanted to hear from the interviewees themselves.
September 10, 2017
This book describes 10 years of research done by the author on China's first generation of only children who began to reach normal marrying age and childbearing age in 2002. It was pretty interesting but I found some of the concepts a bit hard to understand. For example, the attitude of some of the parents towards their children and vice versa seemed quite extreme, and the pressure that is described as having been placed on only children by their parents and grandparents is scary.
September 29, 2018
This book offers such an interesting glance into a time period in China that many of us might not know about or understand its implications on the families. I have heard of this policy but have never read anything about it.
The one child policy implemented in China during 1979 till mid 1980’s had a lot of ramifications and this book focuses mostly on the personal aspects of it on select individual as well as herself.
The author interviews a handful of Chinese kids in their 20’s to talk about what it’s like for them as well as interviewing their parents with a few paragraphs here and there about her own personal experience. A lot of these kids come from a good background and are continuing their education abroad.
Going into this book I did not think it would be a personal account nor an interview based book. I expected it to be a more in depth view on the policy and its implementation as well as what has happened in a more nation wide/government view with a few studies and statistics. The personal side that this book covered I felt was done well and it was interesting because I’ve learned something completely new about the individuals, the effect of the policy on them and their culture, but that’s not the only side of the story I was interested in and it’s probably my fault for expecting this without properly looking up the book before reading it.
I also felt that the book was very focused on conversations that at some point it felt like it was being narrated like a play and I didn’t enjoy that and was bored half way through by all the chatter that I skipped/skimmed a few chapters at the end. It’s probably more of a personal preference but I wish the book/chatter was summarized and didn’t rely so much on the aforementioned.
I have more I want to say about the book, nevertheless if you’re interested in the topic you will definitely learn something new from reading this book, but not a wider glance on the policy if you’re here for that.
The one child policy implemented in China during 1979 till mid 1980’s had a lot of ramifications and this book focuses mostly on the personal aspects of it on select individual as well as herself.
The author interviews a handful of Chinese kids in their 20’s to talk about what it’s like for them as well as interviewing their parents with a few paragraphs here and there about her own personal experience. A lot of these kids come from a good background and are continuing their education abroad.
Going into this book I did not think it would be a personal account nor an interview based book. I expected it to be a more in depth view on the policy and its implementation as well as what has happened in a more nation wide/government view with a few studies and statistics. The personal side that this book covered I felt was done well and it was interesting because I’ve learned something completely new about the individuals, the effect of the policy on them and their culture, but that’s not the only side of the story I was interested in and it’s probably my fault for expecting this without properly looking up the book before reading it.
I also felt that the book was very focused on conversations that at some point it felt like it was being narrated like a play and I didn’t enjoy that and was bored half way through by all the chatter that I skipped/skimmed a few chapters at the end. It’s probably more of a personal preference but I wish the book/chatter was summarized and didn’t rely so much on the aforementioned.
I have more I want to say about the book, nevertheless if you’re interested in the topic you will definitely learn something new from reading this book, but not a wider glance on the policy if you’re here for that.
March 28, 2017
I really enjoyed reading this book, for many reason. First of all it's such a interesting story. A story that I think is unknown by a lot of people. But most of all it set me thinking. Because this book is about my generation, most of them a little bit older tho. I was born in China and it's most likely that because of the one child policy I was put op for adoption.
So I could have been one of those children who grew up getting everthing they wanted; not realising that one day they have to grow up and stand on there own feet. I could have been that child who grew up treated like a little princess.
So to make a long story short. I think this is a lovely book, which gives a, for most of us, unknown picture of this generation in China. If you are interested in China, in a little bit of history (not much tho), in the one child policy, in the chinese society or you are just looking for a book which can teach you something but most of all is just lovely to read. Read this one! (and the linguistic usage is quite easy, and my English is rubbisch so believe me ;) )
So I could have been one of those children who grew up getting everthing they wanted; not realising that one day they have to grow up and stand on there own feet. I could have been that child who grew up treated like a little princess.
So to make a long story short. I think this is a lovely book, which gives a, for most of us, unknown picture of this generation in China. If you are interested in China, in a little bit of history (not much tho), in the one child policy, in the chinese society or you are just looking for a book which can teach you something but most of all is just lovely to read. Read this one! (and the linguistic usage is quite easy, and my English is rubbisch so believe me ;) )
March 24, 2016
Buy Me the Sky documents the lives of 9 only children from China's only child generation. Her clear passion for her country and her people shine in this book. It provides an interesting and thoughtful point of view to the only child generation and leaves me wondering what will come as the years progress. She touches very briefly on infanticide and the role of woman and daughters in a society where men and boys are much more valuable (but I believe she has another book about this issue). It inspires me to read more on the subject as this just touches the very surface of a huge issue.
March 1, 2017
4 stars for its educational value
Through its stories, this book offers an informal way to gain an insight to the truth of China's one-child policy. While we all know that this policy was launched in an effort to control the growth of China's population, the social consequences as a result is something to ponder about.
Through its stories, this book offers an informal way to gain an insight to the truth of China's one-child policy. While we all know that this policy was launched in an effort to control the growth of China's population, the social consequences as a result is something to ponder about.
May 16, 2017
A bit of a slow read but it was worth persevering to the end. Xinran observes and analyses snippets of the lives of a number of young single-child Chinese people she encounters outside of China, mainly in the UK where they've come to study abroad. Their world views are sometimes quite different from what we in the West are used to, and their reactions seem (to me at least) completely illogical at times. I was wondering whether it's the author's original Chinese writing, or the English translation, or the different cultural background that was making the dialogue and the stories seem so surreal at certain points. I still don't know - but the book is interesting despite the sometimes illogical zigzags.
It really does offer a unique glimpse into current Chinese society through the eyes of a native Chinese who's lived in the UK for twenty years but has kept in touch with her country. On a personal level, parts of the book reminded me of the reactions of a few Chinese people in their 30s whom I've met in Europe and who have sometimes struck me as bizarre (ungrateful and rude to be precise). I am beginning to realise that what seems to me like ungratefulness and rudeness is not so much a personal trait but an acute expression of cultural differences, and possibly a side effect of people being brought up in a predominantly single-child, overly materialistic society.
So thank you Xinran for helping me to understand better some of my Chinese acquaintances! (And I wonder how I must come across to them!)
It really does offer a unique glimpse into current Chinese society through the eyes of a native Chinese who's lived in the UK for twenty years but has kept in touch with her country. On a personal level, parts of the book reminded me of the reactions of a few Chinese people in their 30s whom I've met in Europe and who have sometimes struck me as bizarre (ungrateful and rude to be precise). I am beginning to realise that what seems to me like ungratefulness and rudeness is not so much a personal trait but an acute expression of cultural differences, and possibly a side effect of people being brought up in a predominantly single-child, overly materialistic society.
So thank you Xinran for helping me to understand better some of my Chinese acquaintances! (And I wonder how I must come across to them!)
January 5, 2019
This book gives an interesting insight into the consequences of China's one-child policy, as seen from the children themselves and their parents.
I liked the book because it gave me a peek in a world that was totally unknown to me. However, cultural differences between writer and people described in the book on the one hand and me on the other are so huge that I stayed a spectator at a distance. I don't 'feel' the book, the stories. The wording of the quotes by people in the book is so far from what I would use to describe things, that it is more like a oriental painting in a museum that you might find interesting, but don't get, because you know too little of the culture behind that painting. Also, the Dutch translation of English is a bit contrived and leads to sentences that you can imagine in English but less so in Dutch. It probably doesn't help that the book was translated from Chinese to English first.
Also, her account of the consequences of the one-child policy is made mostly from conversations with people that have studied abroad, almost all of which have affluent parents, and they can hardly be a cross section of society. She at one point recognizes this, but that doesn't change the fact. It's definitely not a scientific study, and I therefore fear it can hardly be generalized. As said before, it gives but a peek.
All in all: the book was ok, but because of aforementioned reasons, didn't manage to captivate me.
I liked the book because it gave me a peek in a world that was totally unknown to me. However, cultural differences between writer and people described in the book on the one hand and me on the other are so huge that I stayed a spectator at a distance. I don't 'feel' the book, the stories. The wording of the quotes by people in the book is so far from what I would use to describe things, that it is more like a oriental painting in a museum that you might find interesting, but don't get, because you know too little of the culture behind that painting. Also, the Dutch translation of English is a bit contrived and leads to sentences that you can imagine in English but less so in Dutch. It probably doesn't help that the book was translated from Chinese to English first.
Also, her account of the consequences of the one-child policy is made mostly from conversations with people that have studied abroad, almost all of which have affluent parents, and they can hardly be a cross section of society. She at one point recognizes this, but that doesn't change the fact. It's definitely not a scientific study, and I therefore fear it can hardly be generalized. As said before, it gives but a peek.
All in all: the book was ok, but because of aforementioned reasons, didn't manage to captivate me.
July 22, 2015
An interesting book about some Chinese children today. The single child policy in China has resulted in couples are putting all their love into one child, this child never learns to share as he has no siblings. In some, not all, families the single child is so loved and protected that the parents end up doing everything for that child, and I mean everything, think of a 19 year old boy off to college, his mother drives to college each weekend to stock him up on meals for the week, wash his clothes and put them away. This boy did not even know how to hang his clothes in a wardrobe. There were other stories about other children, some who came to a western country and then resented their parents for mollycoddling them so much that they had no life skills at all. You can see some similarities in western children today, where parents do everything for their children (once again this is not every parent, only some) and by doing everything for your child you are not teaching them basic life skills they will need as they get older and leave home.
December 20, 2015
Very interesting reading. I did wonder though is this not also indicative of modern children all over the world who are often spoilt and mollycoddled. I understand the numbers being higher with the policy making a nation of these children but as a mother nearly thirty year old children I am often astounded by the behaviours of a good proportion of today's youngsters, bought about by lack of good parenting. Conversely I have seen good examples of only children who are definitely well adjusted, non spoilt members of society. I wonder what the percentages in China would look like if a study was done. How many of the only children err towards behaving like little emperors or suns? How does that figure compare with similar behaviours in societies without birth rate policies? Are those behaviours replicated in China's two child families? Does the oldest or the boy in a two child family behave in a similar way?
For me not only was this book interesting to read and well written/translated it did the thing I like best and left me with more questions.
For me not only was this book interesting to read and well written/translated it did the thing I like best and left me with more questions.
May 14, 2017
I am not a critic. I read to expand my knowledge of the world, dependent on other writers to fill me in on their experiences, their land in which they were born. For this reason I give Xinran 5 Stars. My mind was filled with lots of new thoughts at times overwhelming me with emotion.
The more people share about what they are thinking and what their lives are like the better off we all are living together in this turbulent time. But has not this planet just been chaos and love and tumult and sorrow and joy and on and on and on and on since we humans learned to walk and talk and started our so-called civilization?
Enough of this idle chatter. Thank you Xinran for your book. I don't care what the naysayers write. You're an inspiration to many.
The more people share about what they are thinking and what their lives are like the better off we all are living together in this turbulent time. But has not this planet just been chaos and love and tumult and sorrow and joy and on and on and on and on since we humans learned to walk and talk and started our so-called civilization?
Enough of this idle chatter. Thank you Xinran for your book. I don't care what the naysayers write. You're an inspiration to many.
June 12, 2016
I love Xinran but I didn't love this book. The consequences of the single child scheme in China should have been fascinating reading. Instead I found it repetitive and, dare I say, boring. I had no empathy for the children she interviewed (made up mostly of those she has met while they were abroad studying). No broad spectrum of status, they all seemed well off.
I don't know if the translation was off or if they students spoke in such convoluted terms but I started skipping passages - sure sign to move on.
I don't know if the translation was off or if they students spoke in such convoluted terms but I started skipping passages - sure sign to move on.
April 5, 2017
Went to launch of this book in Asia House back in 2015. It took me a while to read it as couldn't set my mind to it.
The book is interesting as widens knowledge of One Child Policy in China and the effect of it to real families.
The book is interesting as widens knowledge of One Child Policy in China and the effect of it to real families.
August 19, 2017
My heart hurt reading this. Over the course of several years, Xinran got to know a number of Chinese youth born under the first generations of the imposed one-child policy of China, and presents here a kaleidoscope view of those generations coming to terms with adulthood in an increasingly globalized world, and how well or ill equipped they are to handle it. Each story is bittersweet, and is hard for me to absorb it without feeling a swell of emotion. The picture Xinran paints of a generation of people who I would say are my contemporaries (in that I was born in 1984) across the globe seems to be one that is searching to find and redefine the soul of a generation of Chinese. China is vast and the effects of its policies and long tradition are now at odds with each other, and through Xinran's eyes she is learning about it as much as I found myself learning about it too. Some of the things in this book are both shocking and heartbreaking, but I found the book to be filled with a great deal of hope too. I feel like I have learned a lot in reading this, and am excited to learn even more, as this feels like only the tip of a colossal iceberg.
February 6, 2016
The first children to be born under China’s one child policy are now in their mid-thirties. The consequences of such a policy have been enormous, and not always in a good way. One very serious downside is the huge gender imbalance with millions of men having to face the fact that they will never marry and have their own children. And then you get something like a devastating earthquake which collapses a school, and hundreds of only children are lost.
Xue Xinran is a Chinese born journalist, broadcaster, speaker and advocate for women’s issues. She moved to London in 1997 where she still lives, and has a son who was born during the one-child policy, and now also lives in London. So she has a foot in both camps, so to speak. With the huge migrations of Chinese young people to Western cities for study and/or work, this has made her the perfect architect to work on initiatives that help build understanding between China and the West, and between the birth culture and the adoptive culture. It follows that she has developed some unique insight into the differences between the two cultures. In this book she looks at the effect the one child policy has had on these young people as they take on the huge load of expectations that their parents have piled onto them since birth. The young people whose lives she documents come from both rich and poor families, urban and rural. Some are educated, some are not. Some get on with their families and parents, some do not. There are extremes in the capabilities of these young people, the most startling being the young man who has no idea how to open his suitcase. One of the students comes to this country, New Zealand, for her study. It is a little unsettling reading about the city you live in, that has a very large Chinese student population, being seen by the Chinese as quite far down in the pecking order of desirable places to study in, but is still much better than going nowhere at all! I would be alarmed if this was my one and only precious child.
This collection of interviews also highlights the consequences for personal development that the one child policy has – narcissism, over indulgence – hence the title ‘Buy Me the Sky’, inability to understand the concept of personal responsibility, the overwhelming/ingrained from birth need to please one’s family to the exclusion of any personal enjoyment, and trying to straddle the East/West cultural divide.
In our Western cities, many of us now live in close proximity to families who have, in recent years, migrated from mainland China. I wanted to read this book to give myself a greater understanding of the type of society and world that my new Chinese neighbours have come from. So different in every possible way from the type of society and cultural norms I come from. I found this book such an eye opener, and with the large migrations taking place from China to the West, so informative in helping even if just a little, to understand and learn how other societies operate.
Xue Xinran is a Chinese born journalist, broadcaster, speaker and advocate for women’s issues. She moved to London in 1997 where she still lives, and has a son who was born during the one-child policy, and now also lives in London. So she has a foot in both camps, so to speak. With the huge migrations of Chinese young people to Western cities for study and/or work, this has made her the perfect architect to work on initiatives that help build understanding between China and the West, and between the birth culture and the adoptive culture. It follows that she has developed some unique insight into the differences between the two cultures. In this book she looks at the effect the one child policy has had on these young people as they take on the huge load of expectations that their parents have piled onto them since birth. The young people whose lives she documents come from both rich and poor families, urban and rural. Some are educated, some are not. Some get on with their families and parents, some do not. There are extremes in the capabilities of these young people, the most startling being the young man who has no idea how to open his suitcase. One of the students comes to this country, New Zealand, for her study. It is a little unsettling reading about the city you live in, that has a very large Chinese student population, being seen by the Chinese as quite far down in the pecking order of desirable places to study in, but is still much better than going nowhere at all! I would be alarmed if this was my one and only precious child.
This collection of interviews also highlights the consequences for personal development that the one child policy has – narcissism, over indulgence – hence the title ‘Buy Me the Sky’, inability to understand the concept of personal responsibility, the overwhelming/ingrained from birth need to please one’s family to the exclusion of any personal enjoyment, and trying to straddle the East/West cultural divide.
In our Western cities, many of us now live in close proximity to families who have, in recent years, migrated from mainland China. I wanted to read this book to give myself a greater understanding of the type of society and world that my new Chinese neighbours have come from. So different in every possible way from the type of society and cultural norms I come from. I found this book such an eye opener, and with the large migrations taking place from China to the West, so informative in helping even if just a little, to understand and learn how other societies operate.
July 25, 2017
Extremely important to understand a bit more of what is the China of the only child. Their challenges, their extremes and the way sometimes all it takes is a little more of effort from the western world as well, to try and understand all the sides of China! Could not recommend more! Anything from Xinran is outstanding!
November 19, 2017
i want to burn this book.
April 26, 2017
An interesting, and easy to read, collection of essays on the struggles of China's one-child families.
As the parent of an only child, I could clearly see that my cultural background is significantly different to that of these children. In many parts of the book, the sweeping generalisations about only children annoyed me, and I had to keep reminding myself that this was their culture, and in mine its a different experience - children are treated differently, and only children aren't a new / enforced situation. And perhaps its that forced situation that makes these only children so precious in China - that because I can decide for myself that one is enough, I don't feel the need to pour all the desires of my many potential children into that one child. Nor am I concerned about who will look after me in my old age.
Comparatively, these only children have been babied spectacularly, and released into the world effectively unable to do anything for themselves. And it reads as though the parents like it that way?!? Is not our role as parents to be guardians of our children, raising them to independent adulthood and then letting them go? These are people my age, who left home unable to cook for themselves, and in some cases, unable to clean up after themselves!
I did love the increased feel for Chinese culture that I was granted through reading this book, and I would love to read more by Xinran. I would love to see her to a work on the lives of the parents of these only children - as she touched on in the last chapter, there are a lot of untold stories of how these families stayed at only one child, which many Chinese expats seem to feel are unknown around the world (they aren't, the fact of female child infanticide in particularly rural China is definitely something many are aware of, but do not speak about).
Xinran's translator has done a wonderful job in making this an easy read.
As the parent of an only child, I could clearly see that my cultural background is significantly different to that of these children. In many parts of the book, the sweeping generalisations about only children annoyed me, and I had to keep reminding myself that this was their culture, and in mine its a different experience - children are treated differently, and only children aren't a new / enforced situation. And perhaps its that forced situation that makes these only children so precious in China - that because I can decide for myself that one is enough, I don't feel the need to pour all the desires of my many potential children into that one child. Nor am I concerned about who will look after me in my old age.
Comparatively, these only children have been babied spectacularly, and released into the world effectively unable to do anything for themselves. And it reads as though the parents like it that way?!? Is not our role as parents to be guardians of our children, raising them to independent adulthood and then letting them go? These are people my age, who left home unable to cook for themselves, and in some cases, unable to clean up after themselves!
I did love the increased feel for Chinese culture that I was granted through reading this book, and I would love to read more by Xinran. I would love to see her to a work on the lives of the parents of these only children - as she touched on in the last chapter, there are a lot of untold stories of how these families stayed at only one child, which many Chinese expats seem to feel are unknown around the world (they aren't, the fact of female child infanticide in particularly rural China is definitely something many are aware of, but do not speak about).
Xinran's translator has done a wonderful job in making this an easy read.
August 31, 2015
I think I should start by saying that I never read books like this. I am strictly a fiction kind of person and reading this book was quite different for me, especially because I was not expecting to enjoy it at all. However I can happily say that I thoroughly enjoyed it.
This novel was smart, insightful and interesting. It gave me a window into the fascinating and foreign Chinese culture. The history was fascinating as was learning more about the lives of current chinese.
The authors writing was beautiful and engaging, she is a true story teller, the inclusion of the murder trial was a well thought out way in which all the stories were tied together.
I also loved the inclusion of ancient Chinese culture especially the '10 commandments' which I found mirrored many of my values and beliefs.
If had any negative comments at all it would be two things:
1. I cannot help but feel that the stories were a little biased, are all young people in china truly this bad? I find that difficult to believe.
2. I found it difficult to get an true picture of the type of person Xinran really is. I found it nice that these young people would open up to her so much...but at the same time I found it a little strange. As a young person myself I would not open up so deeply to anyone really.
3. I know this is an ignorant comment, but throughout much of the novel I could not help thinking...if only the Government had made it a two child policy instead. Maybe all of these social and economic issues that are blossoming could have been avoided?
All in all a great novel, would definitely recommend.
This novel was smart, insightful and interesting. It gave me a window into the fascinating and foreign Chinese culture. The history was fascinating as was learning more about the lives of current chinese.
The authors writing was beautiful and engaging, she is a true story teller, the inclusion of the murder trial was a well thought out way in which all the stories were tied together.
I also loved the inclusion of ancient Chinese culture especially the '10 commandments' which I found mirrored many of my values and beliefs.
If had any negative comments at all it would be two things:
1. I cannot help but feel that the stories were a little biased, are all young people in china truly this bad? I find that difficult to believe.
2. I found it difficult to get an true picture of the type of person Xinran really is. I found it nice that these young people would open up to her so much...but at the same time I found it a little strange. As a young person myself I would not open up so deeply to anyone really.
3. I know this is an ignorant comment, but throughout much of the novel I could not help thinking...if only the Government had made it a two child policy instead. Maybe all of these social and economic issues that are blossoming could have been avoided?
All in all a great novel, would definitely recommend.
June 11, 2015
If Xinran is right, then China is in for a world of pain with most of the individuals within the single-child generations. According to her they are largely venal, selfish, shallow, ignorant and unsophisticated. She sees this as a direct result of them being feted, pandered to and mollycoddled by parents who have everything invested in their one child and who frequently overestimate the potential of their precious offspring.
This generation is used to being the centre of their own universe and some who are coming into parenthood themselves are so reluctant to give up the limelight that they are unwilling to share it with even their own offspring, resulting in another Chinese generation who are being shipped off to others (often grandparents).
I'm not sure if it is because of Xinran's writing style of the translation, but I found this book sometimes difficult to follow. Xinran appears to never use one word when 12 would do, making the text very verbose and occasionally obscuring her meaning. She often has long, florid speeches coming from the mouths of her subjects and I'm unsure if they really do speak in that way or if she has spun her own interpretation on what they were trying to vocalise.
Nevertheless, this is a fascinating subject and one worth trying to understand, as I doubt that it's just the Chinese upon whom it will ultimately impact.
This generation is used to being the centre of their own universe and some who are coming into parenthood themselves are so reluctant to give up the limelight that they are unwilling to share it with even their own offspring, resulting in another Chinese generation who are being shipped off to others (often grandparents).
I'm not sure if it is because of Xinran's writing style of the translation, but I found this book sometimes difficult to follow. Xinran appears to never use one word when 12 would do, making the text very verbose and occasionally obscuring her meaning. She often has long, florid speeches coming from the mouths of her subjects and I'm unsure if they really do speak in that way or if she has spun her own interpretation on what they were trying to vocalise.
Nevertheless, this is a fascinating subject and one worth trying to understand, as I doubt that it's just the Chinese upon whom it will ultimately impact.
August 4, 2016
Xinran is a somewhat obvious choice for completing "X" on my 2016 Author A-Z challenge, but it's an author whose work I've enjoyed in the past. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Buy me the Sky, Xinran's investigations on China's "one child policy".
This book follows the first generation of only children, to see what impact the policy has had on their family life. However, without exception the stories turned out to be detailed exposés of selfish children, their ineffectual parents, and how Xinran could sweep in at a moment's notice to save them both. The stories were formulaic and I have to say that by the time I got 60% of the way through the book, I had given up.
Personally it would have been more interesting to follow the second generation of only children. The ones who were truly alone without aunts, uncles or cousins. I'm sure this must have changed the dynamic even further. But this wasn't a book I could get into - despite my love of all things China.
This review was originally posted on Babs' Bookshelf
This book follows the first generation of only children, to see what impact the policy has had on their family life. However, without exception the stories turned out to be detailed exposés of selfish children, their ineffectual parents, and how Xinran could sweep in at a moment's notice to save them both. The stories were formulaic and I have to say that by the time I got 60% of the way through the book, I had given up.
Personally it would have been more interesting to follow the second generation of only children. The ones who were truly alone without aunts, uncles or cousins. I'm sure this must have changed the dynamic even further. But this wasn't a book I could get into - despite my love of all things China.
This review was originally posted on Babs' Bookshelf
July 20, 2015
I purchased this after hearing the author Xinran on a radio show. In this book she explores the results of China's one child policy and the massive rate of change in China since the 1970's.
Most of us have heard stories of China's Little Emperor's and Little Sun's - only children who are worshiped and mollycoddled by parents desperate to give their one and onlies every thing. It is leading to some big issues - from young adults (22 year old), unable to open and unpack a suitcase to children who practically disown their parents, angry at home they have left them without life skills.
Xinran looks at 10 different case studies, made of Chinese students she has met or children of her Chinese friends. At times she comes across as being the saviour of these children, yet displays many of the stifling qualities of their parents, placing her own expectations on them.
You can read the rest of my review on my blog, Little Black Marks.
http://kyliesreads.blogspot.com.au/20...
Most of us have heard stories of China's Little Emperor's and Little Sun's - only children who are worshiped and mollycoddled by parents desperate to give their one and onlies every thing. It is leading to some big issues - from young adults (22 year old), unable to open and unpack a suitcase to children who practically disown their parents, angry at home they have left them without life skills.
Xinran looks at 10 different case studies, made of Chinese students she has met or children of her Chinese friends. At times she comes across as being the saviour of these children, yet displays many of the stifling qualities of their parents, placing her own expectations on them.
You can read the rest of my review on my blog, Little Black Marks.
http://kyliesreads.blogspot.com.au/20...
February 19, 2017
3.5 stars. An interesting look at single child society. More anecdotal than academic, but maybe that is required when the subject matter is trying to focus on emotional issues rather than economic/political? And in some ways that is how the problems with the only child society has arisen - big picture economics without consideration of impact on the smallest unit of society - the family.
I would have liked more balance from children across China, and even though Xinran is Chinese, she is still somewhat of an outsider (living in the UK) and it's telling that the changes in the only children are by in large catalysed by their exposure to the West.
I would have liked more balance from children across China, and even though Xinran is Chinese, she is still somewhat of an outsider (living in the UK) and it's telling that the changes in the only children are by in large catalysed by their exposure to the West.
December 27, 2018
Stjernen er gitt til oversetteren og forlaget som gidder. Boken er ganske dårlig hvis den skal leses som en dokumentarisk bok, enda verre hvis som en i nærheten av analytisk art. Det nærmeste jeg kan komme på er at dette er en dagbok eller en erfaringsbok om folk Xinran omgikk med. Personlig synes jeg de 9 eksmplene brukt i boken er ganske ekstreme og lite representativ, lite nyansert og dermed urettferdig, for å si at sånn er også de flere millioner født inn i ett-barnspolitikk. Det er ganske søkt å bruke de ekstreme som eksemplene for kinas borgere etter ett-barnspolitikk. Det samme gjelder også forfatterens forklaringer og teorier. For enkelt og for bastant.
July 16, 2015
As with the other Xinran book I have read - the good women of China, this book gives a very approachable and thought provoking insight into the world of individuals born under China's only child Policy. Xinran has an amazing ability to help each of her subjects to tell their stories with honesty and humility. For anyone that would like to learn about China's real people and gain an insight into what it is like to grow up in China as well as Chinese Culture and History and how it affects each person differently I would highly recommend reading both of these books.
September 17, 2015
An interesting read about the impact of China's one-child policy on today's society. I found it particularly interesting given that I have witnessed some of these stories firsthand during my time living in China. The author's voice is very strong in this book, stronger than in her previous books, and, at times, I found this irritating. Could be because I binge read the book over two days. Might have been more palatable spread over a longer period of time. A fascinating read for anyone interested in Chinese society.
October 24, 2016
I read this for a book club where the author came to speak and I found it very interesting. The main issue she describes is single child families are reshaping China's culture from being family focused to individual focused. I might read some of her other books as this is an area (geography, history, etc.) that I am not familiar with at all. Her writing style is conversational and engaging. I'm sure I liked it more because of meeting her and hearing her speak - she was great, so I only reacted it 3 stars because on its own, that is how I felt about the book only.
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