You are so hard to read, you play hide-and-seek / With your true intentions, if you're only playin' games / I'll just have to say, abb-b-b-bye, b-b-b-bye (Straight Up – Paula Abdul).
Uh oh, I had to whip out the Paula Abdul lyrics. Don’t worry, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I actually love going back to my favorite mysteries because my limited memory makes every reread feel brand new! How’s the song go? “I sing this song 'cause you make me feel brand new?” Yeah, like that. Seriously though, something about my brain remembers the setting and the characters, but when it comes to the most important part, like, you know, remembering who the killer was in a murder mystery, my mind goes blank. Hey, remembering is hard sometimes because… I don’t even remember how I was going to finish this sentence! Anyway, I guess should probably write a summary, which is what I heard good reviews usually have. I swear that it’s something I always mean to do, but I get so distracted by my ramblings (I’m a rambling man), that it completely slips my mind more often than not! I’ll do it this time though. Coming up. In the next sentence? At first glance, this book series seems like simple cozy mysteries, but I think what makes it different from the rest lies in its exploration of the failing relationship between its main character, Amory, and her distant husband, Milo. Usually when a mystery series tries to add a romantic element into the mix, I’ve found that the balance between the character’s love life and their sleuthing always feels way off. This is actually why I’m always complaining about the love-interests in these books! Because their drama takes precious time away from the very important murder mystery bit! Surely there are more pressing matters! Yeah well, here’s the thing, not only has the Amory Ames series smartly interwoven the romance (and lack thereof) within the mystery so it never feels like set dressing, but it’s also so intrinsically linked to the main theme, that even with all my gripes over Milo, I still wouldn’t wish it gone. Because if memory serves (it usually doesn't), what I do remember the most about these books is the burning hatred I had for Milo. Well I mean, maybe "burning hatred" is the wrong phrase, because he’s surely no David from the Truly Devious series (that guy suu~uucks), but he can truly be something awful at several points! I was going somewhere with this… oh yeah, reading this again, I wouldn’t say that I’ve come to appreciate his role in the story, but I do understand why he’s an important addition to each novel. I even have to concede that I’ve somewhat come around to having a begrudging respect for the author’s dedication to showcasing Milo’s unwavering aloofness at every opportunity. This is noteworthy considering the fact that if any other book tried to feature a love-interest like this asshole so prominently, I’d probably throw it across the room immediately. Really though, just the fact that I still look back at this series as fondly as I do is a testament to how great of a writer Ashley Weaver is. Besides, I guess I don’t completely blame Amory for always going back to Milo, because if somebody called me “darling” at every opportunity, I’d probably go weak in the knees for them too. Hey, I never said I was consistent!
Wait! I was supposed to do a synopsis! Ugh. Okay, I’ll do it for real this time. Here I go. In the next sentence! We find Amory Ames as she's growing bored with her marriage to part-time playboy and full-time loser, Milo. The comedown from a whirlwind romance is a hell of a thing, because Amory is now realizing that she may have made a huge mistake in her choice of husband. He’s neglectful, nonchalant, dismissive, and is unfortunately, also the sexiest man in the world and “can’t help it if women throw themselves at his feet” (eye roll and a yawn and then another eye roll). Interrupting Amory’s miserable musings, the man himself shows up after vacationing for six months (seriously dude?) over in the town of “wherever-the-hell,” and pretends like nothing’s awry as by all accounts, he seemingly expects Amory to simply wait at his beck and call while he traipses around the world pretending to be Lou Bega. This blasé performance being the final tipping point and with her ire spilling over the edge, Amory up and leaves as she immediately takes her only lifeline left; an invitation from her previous lover, Gil, to travel with him to the Brightwell Hotel in order to help dissuade his younger sister from marrying a similar cad, Rupert Howe, and hopefully steer her from making the same mistake that Amory did all those five years ago. Oh, and this is a bit of a spoiler, but then Rupert Howe ends up getting killed and Amory ends up being the only one who can figure out the “who’s” the “what’s” and the “why’s!” Badum tss. And then blah and another blah. Phew… that was kind of hard! Now I know why I never bother with summaries. Yeah so like I’ve said before, most of this book is about Amory trying to prove Gil (her previous and maybe future lover) innocent, while also struggling with her worries that her regained feelings for him are only blossoming because her marriage has found itself in dire straits. I think it’s cool how the “murder mystery” aspect is rather cut and dry, while her troubled romance is where things get rather murky. There's an interesting and almost humorous statement somewhere in there that murder is preferable to marriage in a way that's very on brand for screwball romantic movies of the time period. Otherwise, this is a story about prideful miscommunication and the lengths people will go to never feel vulnerable again. There's some layers here! It's used as a reveal, but Milo actually acts as the secondary main character for most of the novel, and despite Amory leaving him, he predictably followed her to the hotel. Thus going back to the theme of broken marriages, because it's up to Amory to decide if his smooth attempts to show, albeit subtlety, that he is crazy in love with her are genuine, or if it really is true that players only love you when they’re playing.
I think it’s kind of obvious that most of what I have to say is in the way of anger directed at Milo. Because he kind of sucks, but I suppose that’s the point, as his character growth is the main thing that evolves over the course of these book. Whether or not he changes enough is up to the reader, because cozy mysteries are often written in a way where the characters never feel too different from installment to installment so that you could technically read any volume at any time, but the changes are there if you look hard enough. Anyway, he's a good example of one of those guys who are so damn obsessed with appearing indifferent and aloof at all times that he never actually realizes that he’s actively ruining his own life. He thinks he’s cooking, but no, he’s just cooked. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually think he’s a bad character per se, and I’m one of those people who thinks he does improve (from book three onward), but I don’t think the narrative fully explores the repercussions that Milo’s specific brand of toxicity can have on himself and the people around him. The author puts in other shitty dudes in order to make Milo look like a saint in comparison, but I hardly think it absolves this guy from all his shitty behavior, and it wasn't all that realistic to me how every character other than Amory bent over backwards for this tool. Sorry, but charm and good looks can only take you so far before people don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Maybe this is just my vindictive side speaking, but I still think that he gets off too easy. And I’ve read all seven books! Is he a bad husband? Yes. But does that make him a bad person? Ding ding ding, yes again! Look at it this way, imagine being so obsessed with appearing unknowable that even your spouse believes it possible that you could be a killer in hiding. I suppose Milo is written this way to feel mysteriously sexy, but in my opinion, this just makes him pathetic. And a terrible bore, at that. I'd like him more if the author allowed him some vulnerability, all crying and running around like the guy from Sade's "Is It a Crime" music video. It's just funny to see how all of their marital issues could have been swiftly avoided if he’d learned how to apologize to Amory like her name was Betty. The truth is that the first time I read these books I was mostly reading along to see if Amory would divorce Milo, but going back I have to admit that their relationship does slowly, but surely, improve on the reread. I even started to enjoy their dynamic after a while! Besides, to judge their relationship solely on the first novel in a series of seven would be like stopping Lemonade on “Don’t Hurt Yourself” before you hear Beyoncé’s blissful relief as she says “Oh… I missed you, my love" at the end of “All Night.” And it’s like I said, if anything, these books are about the marriage between two deeply emotionally repressed people, so I guess it’s pretty realistic that most of the story would be about Amory and Milo navigating through the process of learning how to properly communicate with each other, because if they accomplish that, then maybe even forgiveness is on the table. These things take time. But as of right now… we’re on track one, so I’m still on some “tonight I'm fucking up all your shit, boy”–type shit. We’ll cross the “forgiveness” road when we get to it.
"Naturally. If I were to be murdered, I would leave you with heaps of money and free to do as you please.”
"You needn’t be murdered for that, I could just as easy accomplish it with a divorce.”
"Touché, my love.”