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Washed Hands
Breaking up can be one of the hardest things a person can do, something that the dedicated team at Washed Hands, Inc. thoroughly understands. Whether one’s soon-to-be-ex is manipulative, violent, or anything else that makes a clean break difficult, the company’s rejection counselors ensure that the split is established and maintained in no uncertain terms. And in the toughest cases, no one’s better at this than Monica Deimos.
Brought in on what appeared to be a relatively straight-forward domestic nightmare, Monica realizes all-too-late that she has been set up to take the fall for the murder of a wealthy socialite. As the police close in, Monica needs to discover who she can trust, who wants her out of the way, and why she was framed.
She’s no fool, though. The best case scenario ends in a jail cell… the worst in a body bag.
Brought in on what appeared to be a relatively straight-forward domestic nightmare, Monica realizes all-too-late that she has been set up to take the fall for the murder of a wealthy socialite. As the police close in, Monica needs to discover who she can trust, who wants her out of the way, and why she was framed.
She’s no fool, though. The best case scenario ends in a jail cell… the worst in a body bag.
- GenresMystery
182 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 14, 2014
193 people want to read
About the author
Jonathan Charles Bruce
4 books11 followersAuthor of Washed Hands, Project Northwoods, and Improbables, Jonathan Bruce began writing what amounted to terrible Star Trek: The Next Generation fan fiction when he was four... provided that you accept that "forcing other people to write what he said" is the same thing as "writing". Although the original manuscripts are lost (or perhaps destroyed), we can rest assured that his prose has improved significantly since then. After high school, he began writing and directing plays which gradually improved depending on whom you ask. He discovered his love of a good fight scene after writing a Dracula knock-off which took a 19th century classic and made it less about Victorian yearning and 300% more about stabbing things in the jugular.
He has a Master's Degree in History, thanks largely to his thesis focusing on MUSIC, a Milwaukee-based school desegregation campaign during the 1960's. He also enjoys discussing/making fun of pop culture of the 20th century and reading books of a non-historical nature. In his off moments, you can catch him writing for fun or making inane movies about nothing in particular.
He has a Master's Degree in History, thanks largely to his thesis focusing on MUSIC, a Milwaukee-based school desegregation campaign during the 1960's. He also enjoys discussing/making fun of pop culture of the 20th century and reading books of a non-historical nature. In his off moments, you can catch him writing for fun or making inane movies about nothing in particular.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 19, 2014
Although this isn't a genre I normally read, I was intrigued enough by the idea of a break-up agency to give this a try. And I'm glad I did! I was quickly hooked by the story and eager to learn more about the characters. One of the things I liked most about it is that women play leading roles in this story and are consistently portrayed as smart (even crafty!) and capable, able to fend for themselves without the arrival of a male rescuer. I would love to see this book made into a film!
November 15, 2016
This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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Deimos works for this firm called Washed Hands, who are break-up specialists. If you want to/need to end a relationship with someone who just may flip out, get violent, refuse to listen, whatever -- you hire them and one of their rejection counselors will make sure that everything works out. Monica Deimos is about the best they have -- until one day she enters a client's home to find the soon-to-be-dumped very murdered. Monica then finds herself very framed for this murder. Things get rolling from there.
She's on the run from the cops (almost getting nabbed a few times), dead tired and with few people she can trust. She decides that the IT guy from Washed Hands, Jasper, is trustworthy (probably) and could help out. So the two of them team-up to find out the real killer's identity and to clear Monica before tis' too late.
Jasper is almost a stereotypical nerd -- but there's a little more to him. Some of the others in the office are probably just what they appear, but you can't be too careful. Or so Monica thinks. She's abrasive, socially awkward, and desperate enough to try anything -- the frame job was good, and she's pretty sure that she can't beat it. Thankfully, Jasper has faith enough for both of them. I really liked him -- actually, I really liked Monica, too, beyond the voice. There weren't a lot of other characters developed that well (little time for that with Monica on the run), but there was potential with all of them.
This novel was very well constructed and plotted -- enough humor and enough excitement to keep you engaged. I guessed the whodunit pretty early, and came close to the motive, too. But I wouldn't have figured the how until about 2 or 3 sentences before Monica did. Bruce pulled off some very clever storytelling there.
Things I would enjoy seeing in future novels, if that's what Bruce is thinking: More at Washed Hands -- I can't believe he's got this great concept and uses it so little; More with Jasper (perhaps independently of Monica); More Monica -- with Jasper, at Washed Hands, without Jasper, after Washed Hands, I don't care, I just want to read more of her.
I don't think I can say much more without reveling too much, so I won't say much more at all.. Clever story, good characters, told in a way to keep me glued to the page, and a conclusion that I almost saw coming but couldn't come close to predicting. Really can't ask for much more.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this from Scarlet River Press in exchange for this post and my honest take on the book -- thanks, Scarlet River!
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They were all cheap, terrible beers that screamed more of desperation than any kind of desirability. Not that I could ever really tell the difference between the cheap and quality stuff, except that cheap tasted like unfiltered gutter water and quality usually like uncooked bread juice. People would usually counter that beer was an acquired taste that you get used to before you learn to want it, at which point I would suggest that what they just described was essentially culinary Stockholm Syndrome.My appreciation for this one was pretty much ensured within the first page or so -- Monica Deimos's character grabbed me that quickly. I can't promise you will, but this character's voice was so strong, so fun. This voice . . . I haven't clicked with a voice like I did with this since, I'm not sure, maybe Mark Watney? If I quoted every pith/insightful/chuckle-worthy line that I wanted to, I'd probably get sued for copyright infringement. I know, a tough, quippy, self-deprecating, cynical female detective(-ish) character isn't exactly new, but Bruce just nails the voice on a consistent basis. Monica may not be unique on that front, but she's really well done.
I am a hit at parties.
Deimos works for this firm called Washed Hands, who are break-up specialists. If you want to/need to end a relationship with someone who just may flip out, get violent, refuse to listen, whatever -- you hire them and one of their rejection counselors will make sure that everything works out. Monica Deimos is about the best they have -- until one day she enters a client's home to find the soon-to-be-dumped very murdered. Monica then finds herself very framed for this murder. Things get rolling from there.
She's on the run from the cops (almost getting nabbed a few times), dead tired and with few people she can trust. She decides that the IT guy from Washed Hands, Jasper, is trustworthy (probably) and could help out. So the two of them team-up to find out the real killer's identity and to clear Monica before tis' too late.
Jasper is almost a stereotypical nerd -- but there's a little more to him. Some of the others in the office are probably just what they appear, but you can't be too careful. Or so Monica thinks. She's abrasive, socially awkward, and desperate enough to try anything -- the frame job was good, and she's pretty sure that she can't beat it. Thankfully, Jasper has faith enough for both of them. I really liked him -- actually, I really liked Monica, too, beyond the voice. There weren't a lot of other characters developed that well (little time for that with Monica on the run), but there was potential with all of them.
This novel was very well constructed and plotted -- enough humor and enough excitement to keep you engaged. I guessed the whodunit pretty early, and came close to the motive, too. But I wouldn't have figured the how until about 2 or 3 sentences before Monica did. Bruce pulled off some very clever storytelling there.
Things I would enjoy seeing in future novels, if that's what Bruce is thinking: More at Washed Hands -- I can't believe he's got this great concept and uses it so little; More with Jasper (perhaps independently of Monica); More Monica -- with Jasper, at Washed Hands, without Jasper, after Washed Hands, I don't care, I just want to read more of her.
I don't think I can say much more without reveling too much, so I won't say much more at all.. Clever story, good characters, told in a way to keep me glued to the page, and a conclusion that I almost saw coming but couldn't come close to predicting. Really can't ask for much more.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this from Scarlet River Press in exchange for this post and my honest take on the book -- thanks, Scarlet River!
January 7, 2015
Monica Deimos is not your usual detective. In fact she s not a detective at all. She is a rejection counselor for Washed Hands, a company specializing in helping couples make it through marital breakups with minimum damage and no looking back.
You get a picture of Monica in the very beginning of the novel: her employee review at Washed Hands. She rates top marks on everything except client relationship. She is skilled, proficient, and has a business-like persona; but she lacks in emotion and empathy. In action we see that Monica is not only clever and skilled, she is tough, savvy and fearless. She takes things into her own hands as she investigates why her client was killed, why she was framed, and why are people trying to kill her. She doesn't know who to trust nor who to ask for help, but she reluctantly seeks the help of a workmate, Jasper. But at times she doesn't even know if she trusts him. There are some great action scenes, and I really liked the descriptions of Monica in hand-to-hand fights and dodging bullets. The characterizations of Monica and Jasper are first rate. They gradually come alive, and I really got to like them both.
The ending certainly surprised me, and as a reader I wasn't completely convinced. But that's my personal taste, and realize the ending may work well for other readers.
The novel is written entirely in the first person, and every chapter except one is written from Monica's point of view. As we readers are entirely inside Monica's consciousness, we gradually get a good idea why she is tough and why she lacks empathy. Her inner monologue continuously underscores the ongoing narrative, which is not only entertaining, but helps to define and add depth to the action.
Bruce's writing craftsmanship is excellent, and clearly the book is well edited. This is a very good read read, and I highly recommend it
Review by Mike, pen name Raymond Barrie
You get a picture of Monica in the very beginning of the novel: her employee review at Washed Hands. She rates top marks on everything except client relationship. She is skilled, proficient, and has a business-like persona; but she lacks in emotion and empathy. In action we see that Monica is not only clever and skilled, she is tough, savvy and fearless. She takes things into her own hands as she investigates why her client was killed, why she was framed, and why are people trying to kill her. She doesn't know who to trust nor who to ask for help, but she reluctantly seeks the help of a workmate, Jasper. But at times she doesn't even know if she trusts him. There are some great action scenes, and I really liked the descriptions of Monica in hand-to-hand fights and dodging bullets. The characterizations of Monica and Jasper are first rate. They gradually come alive, and I really got to like them both.
The ending certainly surprised me, and as a reader I wasn't completely convinced. But that's my personal taste, and realize the ending may work well for other readers.
The novel is written entirely in the first person, and every chapter except one is written from Monica's point of view. As we readers are entirely inside Monica's consciousness, we gradually get a good idea why she is tough and why she lacks empathy. Her inner monologue continuously underscores the ongoing narrative, which is not only entertaining, but helps to define and add depth to the action.
Bruce's writing craftsmanship is excellent, and clearly the book is well edited. This is a very good read read, and I highly recommend it
Review by Mike, pen name Raymond Barrie
December 16, 2014
Washed Hands, Inc. is a business that mediates the break up process between couples. Monica Deimos specializes in handling cases where the separation has escalated to potential violence. A botched case forces her to intervene but when the client's spouse winds up dead with all the evidence incriminating Monica, it quickly becomes apparent that this is more than just another break up.
Washed Hands is a thrilling murder mystery with a modern noir twist. Monica is reminiscent of the iconic hardboiled detective with a narrative that establishes a witty and engaging tone to a suspenseful, fast paced story.
I really enjoyed reading washed hands. I liked its ability to present an unusual concept and flesh it out enough to feel plausible. The business structure and its operations were interesting. I liked that it incorporated a broad perspective on relationships and the different types of domestic violence.
The characters were likable and I found them more endearing the more I got to know them. I especially liked Monica's character. She's a blunt and assertive heroine whose intellect and detective skills are continually tested throughout the story. While her logical and snarky commentary offsets the perilous position she finds herself in.
The story was well paced and I liked the complexity of the different dilemmas in play. It created an underlying sense of suspense that was consistently present throughout the story. The action scenes were well composed especially the fight scenes. The overall mystery was well crafted with surprising twists and escalating tension that made it an engaging story to read.
[Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.]
Washed Hands is a thrilling murder mystery with a modern noir twist. Monica is reminiscent of the iconic hardboiled detective with a narrative that establishes a witty and engaging tone to a suspenseful, fast paced story.
I really enjoyed reading washed hands. I liked its ability to present an unusual concept and flesh it out enough to feel plausible. The business structure and its operations were interesting. I liked that it incorporated a broad perspective on relationships and the different types of domestic violence.
The characters were likable and I found them more endearing the more I got to know them. I especially liked Monica's character. She's a blunt and assertive heroine whose intellect and detective skills are continually tested throughout the story. While her logical and snarky commentary offsets the perilous position she finds herself in.
The story was well paced and I liked the complexity of the different dilemmas in play. It created an underlying sense of suspense that was consistently present throughout the story. The action scenes were well composed especially the fight scenes. The overall mystery was well crafted with surprising twists and escalating tension that made it an engaging story to read.
[Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.]
November 7, 2014
Washed Hands Inc. isn’t your normal PI company. Instead of sticking to the shadows to obtain info on a particular person for a client - cheating spouse, insurance fraud, stalker, private security, etc. - the Rejection Counselors of washed hands stick their necks right into the thick of it. They’re the people you go to when breaking up is going to threaten your life, and Monica Deimos is the best of the best.
Monica picks up a case that becomes too much to handle for a newly promoted Rejection Counselor only to find out too late that the case is a hoax and actually a set up for murder. Realizing all too quickly that the evidence is stacked against her, she quickly develops a plan to get the police looking one way while she’s headed the other. Just as she thinks she has a moment to breath and figure things out the real murderer is pointing the cops in her direction yet again.
Every answer she gets also gets her another dead or damaged body. The closer she gets to the truth the harder it becomes for her to walk away with a clean record.
The dialog is witty, fast paced, and filled with pop culture references giving you a firm place in time. The protagonist is smart, competent, and even caring though she exudes a detached and cynical attitude. There is plenty of action throughout the novel and it never feels like it is defying the laws of physics. Monica survives with luck and skill, no superhuman powers.
There’s a lot going on, and reading it a second time helped get some of the smaller pieces to fit together. For instance, the card/bookmark at the beginning and the exchange with Monica at the end.
This girl is definitely anticipating a sequel.
Full disclosure: I received an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Monica picks up a case that becomes too much to handle for a newly promoted Rejection Counselor only to find out too late that the case is a hoax and actually a set up for murder. Realizing all too quickly that the evidence is stacked against her, she quickly develops a plan to get the police looking one way while she’s headed the other. Just as she thinks she has a moment to breath and figure things out the real murderer is pointing the cops in her direction yet again.
Every answer she gets also gets her another dead or damaged body. The closer she gets to the truth the harder it becomes for her to walk away with a clean record.
The dialog is witty, fast paced, and filled with pop culture references giving you a firm place in time. The protagonist is smart, competent, and even caring though she exudes a detached and cynical attitude. There is plenty of action throughout the novel and it never feels like it is defying the laws of physics. Monica survives with luck and skill, no superhuman powers.
There’s a lot going on, and reading it a second time helped get some of the smaller pieces to fit together. For instance, the card/bookmark at the beginning and the exchange with Monica at the end.
This girl is definitely anticipating a sequel.
Full disclosure: I received an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 31, 2020
I wish with all my heart that I could give half stars because this world definitely be 3.5. It's right there in between.
I really like Bruce's style in this book, but it really took me a lot to actually like Monica Deimos. She's well written and well developed, but unfortunately, I didn't find her likable. That's not necessarily a bad thing- really, it's not!- but it altered my enjoyment of the book. I mean, it's a little refreshing to see a female character who is unlikable in the way Monica is and has traits that are generally coded as masculine. But I still found myself frustrated with her...
Other than that, the book is good. It's entertaining and the writing is fun and I didn't see the ending coming. Bruce makes the action very clear and makes his characters very real. Washed Hands is an enjoyable read for sure, even if the main character wears a stupid hat.
I really like Bruce's style in this book, but it really took me a lot to actually like Monica Deimos. She's well written and well developed, but unfortunately, I didn't find her likable. That's not necessarily a bad thing- really, it's not!- but it altered my enjoyment of the book. I mean, it's a little refreshing to see a female character who is unlikable in the way Monica is and has traits that are generally coded as masculine. But I still found myself frustrated with her...
Other than that, the book is good. It's entertaining and the writing is fun and I didn't see the ending coming. Bruce makes the action very clear and makes his characters very real. Washed Hands is an enjoyable read for sure, even if the main character wears a stupid hat.
February 1, 2016
This was a great read. I was initially pulled in by the premise that Washed Hands was a company that you could hire to break up with someone for you. What a cool idea! Obviously that type of business could lead to all sorts of complications and complications definitely did happen.
There was a lot of action, always something going on and clues to the killer's identity. I was really caught off guard at the ending, but it was a good ending. I will certainly keep an eye out to see if Mr. Bruce turns this novel into a series. That would be pretty fun, I'd think.
I would just suggest that maybe Monica could be a little more likable. I found her hard to care about because she had such a hard shell. If she were a little more friendly, it would help a lot.
There was a lot of action, always something going on and clues to the killer's identity. I was really caught off guard at the ending, but it was a good ending. I will certainly keep an eye out to see if Mr. Bruce turns this novel into a series. That would be pretty fun, I'd think.
I would just suggest that maybe Monica could be a little more likable. I found her hard to care about because she had such a hard shell. If she were a little more friendly, it would help a lot.
June 22, 2016
Read the full review here: http://newberyandbeyond.com/adult-fic...
This was a surprisingly good mystery (filled with a lot of swearing, just FYI). Monica’s prickly nature makes it difficult for her to find someone to help her solve the mystery before the cops find her, but her skills–akin to those of a detective or secret agent, despite the fact that her job is ending bad relationships–help her as she tries to uncover who set her up. I enjoyed the characters and was surprised by the solution. What more can you ask for in a mystery?
This was a surprisingly good mystery (filled with a lot of swearing, just FYI). Monica’s prickly nature makes it difficult for her to find someone to help her solve the mystery before the cops find her, but her skills–akin to those of a detective or secret agent, despite the fact that her job is ending bad relationships–help her as she tries to uncover who set her up. I enjoyed the characters and was surprised by the solution. What more can you ask for in a mystery?
November 6, 2014
Washed Hands is a fun, entertaining read for several reasons.
1. Bruce has an easy, spare style of writing that immediately connects you with the characters and plot, without any filters or distance.
2. The backstory for this narrative is so bizarre and unique, it's awesome.
3. It's short, digs deep into the action, and keeps you guessing at every turn.
Great for mystery lovers and those looking for an easy read for a train or car ride.
1. Bruce has an easy, spare style of writing that immediately connects you with the characters and plot, without any filters or distance.
2. The backstory for this narrative is so bizarre and unique, it's awesome.
3. It's short, digs deep into the action, and keeps you guessing at every turn.
Great for mystery lovers and those looking for an easy read for a train or car ride.
November 16, 2014
~Received For An Honest Review~
If you're snowed in or expected to me, this will be a nice little cozy mystery to snuggle in with. Female leading role. Plot is twisty and has many turns to keep you intrigued. Do you think you can figure out who did it? Grab your copy and settle in for the haul!
If you're snowed in or expected to me, this will be a nice little cozy mystery to snuggle in with. Female leading role. Plot is twisty and has many turns to keep you intrigued. Do you think you can figure out who did it? Grab your copy and settle in for the haul!
May 9, 2015
This book was pretty amazing and by 'pretty amazing' I mean edge-of-you-seat, can't-put-it-down, up-all-night-reading amazing. If you take excellent storytelling, original plot, colorful characters and sprinkle in fast paced action and serve it with a plot twist cherry on top, then you would have Washed Hands. This book is not only highly recommended, it is aggressively encouraged.
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October 29, 2016Review to follow.
February 27, 2018
Devoured this book in about 5-6 hours. It's a good read, and I'd like a sequel.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews