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Sharing the Burden:The Gifting of Highly Sensitive Burden Bearers
"An estimated fifth of the earths population are people with the gift of extreme empathy - highly sensitive burden bearers, as Christa and Dirk Lüling call them. Often they are misunderstood, not only by the majority in cultures used to praising the go-getter, but by themselves. Its no wonder the literal translation of the original German title of this book is Burden Bearing - the Misunderstood Gift. Highly sensitive burden bearers are in danger from self-pity, burnout, resentment, lack of self-esteem, and they desperately need to learn when and how to protect themselves from the emotions their nervous systems don't automatically screen out. They often need healing for the many hurts that are related to their gifting. They need to be understood, and first of all, to understand themselves. This book contains knowledge, empathy, tips and prayers that make an immense difference in how you see yourself and interact with others." - from http://www.christianbits.co.uk/produc...
152 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
August 27, 2017
When I came upon this book in my sister's room (she emigrated and is no longer using the room), I wanted to read this book with the intention of getting to know this "high sensitifity" of which my sister claimed to be suffering. I say suffering because I was a little, to quite a bit, skeptical about its existence. I never heard of it as a gift either.
As with a lot of personality traits and differences that find overlap in the spiritual realm or deeper conscious of a human, or even just within psychological sphere, this trait (or gift) also met with misconceptions and disbelief. I think that is because generally people are scared of differences and/ or scared that they don't know how to deal with it, so they deny a difference and demand for it to go away and the person to "act normal". I guess that was what happened largely between my sister and me/parents. We had a hard time accepting this "high sensitifity" thing.
My sister on the other hand was not able to "act normal", even though she wanted it. And now that we've gotten through the rough part of accepting that she is different from the conventional "normal" and began to open up to her way of experiencing life, I wanted to know more about HS to understand and unburden the hardships of my sister.
When I got to reading however, I recognized not just my sister, I recognized my mom, myself and to some degree my best friend as a potentially HSP (highly sensitive person). This book explained why I always cry and/or feel really strong emotions when watching movies/series, even when these are not actually that emotional (I cried watching Twilight, Finding Nemo and Harry Potter...). I cry when I think of other people's struggles or when they cry; I feel sick when someone throws up, not because I'm disgusted but because I feel how they are feeling; I feel uneasy and restless when someone needs to use the bathroom, to the point that I wish I was the one that needs to go, just to relief their unease; I feel irritation and anger that is not mine, but someone else's in my surrounding. And all this was naturally and unconsciously there, until I read the book, I knew it was there but never realized this was not a "normal thing". I knew I got emotional quicker than others and I fought tears that others didn't have in the same situation, but fortunately I never experienced the emotions of others as a burden. I am gifted with the ability to carry it off. I don't forget, but I carry it lightweighted? It is like this: when traditional HSPs drag mountainous bags at times, I roll a cart or trolley. Although when I was younger I did experience that the troubles of my surroundings weighed on me like a blanket that cast a shadow on my generally very happy and spontanious personality and sometimes I felt like crying without there being a reason. I did receive and looked for affection from my parents and sister and these, I believe, is what built me up to be emotionally stable and to be master over emotions that I receive, but aren't mine.
So this book taught me as much or even more about me than about my sister and I really recommend everyone, HSP or not (or maybe you are? ;) ) to read it. Especially if you are a Christian, you will find it helpful to learn how to deal with this gift in daily life and lift the burdens that it comes with, from yourself and/or others around you.
As with a lot of personality traits and differences that find overlap in the spiritual realm or deeper conscious of a human, or even just within psychological sphere, this trait (or gift) also met with misconceptions and disbelief. I think that is because generally people are scared of differences and/ or scared that they don't know how to deal with it, so they deny a difference and demand for it to go away and the person to "act normal". I guess that was what happened largely between my sister and me/parents. We had a hard time accepting this "high sensitifity" thing.
My sister on the other hand was not able to "act normal", even though she wanted it. And now that we've gotten through the rough part of accepting that she is different from the conventional "normal" and began to open up to her way of experiencing life, I wanted to know more about HS to understand and unburden the hardships of my sister.
When I got to reading however, I recognized not just my sister, I recognized my mom, myself and to some degree my best friend as a potentially HSP (highly sensitive person). This book explained why I always cry and/or feel really strong emotions when watching movies/series, even when these are not actually that emotional (I cried watching Twilight, Finding Nemo and Harry Potter...). I cry when I think of other people's struggles or when they cry; I feel sick when someone throws up, not because I'm disgusted but because I feel how they are feeling; I feel uneasy and restless when someone needs to use the bathroom, to the point that I wish I was the one that needs to go, just to relief their unease; I feel irritation and anger that is not mine, but someone else's in my surrounding. And all this was naturally and unconsciously there, until I read the book, I knew it was there but never realized this was not a "normal thing". I knew I got emotional quicker than others and I fought tears that others didn't have in the same situation, but fortunately I never experienced the emotions of others as a burden. I am gifted with the ability to carry it off. I don't forget, but I carry it lightweighted? It is like this: when traditional HSPs drag mountainous bags at times, I roll a cart or trolley. Although when I was younger I did experience that the troubles of my surroundings weighed on me like a blanket that cast a shadow on my generally very happy and spontanious personality and sometimes I felt like crying without there being a reason. I did receive and looked for affection from my parents and sister and these, I believe, is what built me up to be emotionally stable and to be master over emotions that I receive, but aren't mine.
So this book taught me as much or even more about me than about my sister and I really recommend everyone, HSP or not (or maybe you are? ;) ) to read it. Especially if you are a Christian, you will find it helpful to learn how to deal with this gift in daily life and lift the burdens that it comes with, from yourself and/or others around you.
February 23, 2023
very helpful!! thanks
Helped me to understand what was going on in myself!! I’m learning to separate what is mine and what is someone else’s! Thank you for sharing this book! God bless
Helped me to understand what was going on in myself!! I’m learning to separate what is mine and what is someone else’s! Thank you for sharing this book! God bless
November 24, 2015
There is no other book I've read that has opened my eyes the way this did. I highly recommend this to ANYONE. Any type of personality type should read this.
As an HSP (highly sensitive person), I often find myself very lost, and very out of control. There are moments where I feel just so overwhelmed and disappointed in life. There are days where I have no motivation. And that scared me. I thought I had depression or some sort of disorder. But my mother (also and HSP) found this book. It's Christian based which is so great, but it is also extremely accurate. It explains why I feel the way I do, the pros and cons of being an HSP, and how I can help myself when things get really tough.
HSP's are just normal people, with a special gift to feel what others are feeling. Although sometimes it feels more like a curse than a gift (hence the name burden bearer), I have found out that it really is special.
See this link for a quiz to find out whether you are HSP: http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensi...
Even if you are not, reading this would help you understand someone you know who is!
Overall, an amazing book.
As an HSP (highly sensitive person), I often find myself very lost, and very out of control. There are moments where I feel just so overwhelmed and disappointed in life. There are days where I have no motivation. And that scared me. I thought I had depression or some sort of disorder. But my mother (also and HSP) found this book. It's Christian based which is so great, but it is also extremely accurate. It explains why I feel the way I do, the pros and cons of being an HSP, and how I can help myself when things get really tough.
HSP's are just normal people, with a special gift to feel what others are feeling. Although sometimes it feels more like a curse than a gift (hence the name burden bearer), I have found out that it really is special.
See this link for a quiz to find out whether you are HSP: http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensi...
Even if you are not, reading this would help you understand someone you know who is!
Overall, an amazing book.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews