Handbook for the Criminally Insane

Codex of the Demon King #1

by Brian Holtz

Monica just moved to the small town of Redmondsburg.

Little did she know her house is haunted, an army of zombies is waiting to attack, a serial killer is on the loose and a demon Chihuahua plans to sacrifice her on Halloween.

With the help of a new friend (who isn't quite human) Monica is set to have the time of her life trying to avoid the time of her death.

Genres: Horror, Zombies, Amazon, Fantasy, Supernatural, Fiction, Humor

Audiobook

First published September 30, 2009

About the author

Hi. I'm the author of two full length novels, both of which can be found at podiobooks.com for your free listening pleasure. Each is also in print and can be purchased at amazon.com. You can read my short story, Harvey & Ethel, from this site, and others are posted on my personal site as well.
Thanks and please leave a comment!
Brian

Reviews

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a 4.25 🌟 read rounded ⬇️ to 4 🌟.

This was the book I needed to read right now. A sublimely ridiculous romp that was fun the whole way through and put a smile on my choppers.

[#ReadAllTheBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me warn you: if you're looking for serious reading then you'll have to change your expectations before giving this book a listen. While this book does make motions at being a straight horror story, this book also spends an equal amount of time with tongue firmly in cheek. Love 80s horror? Then this story is firmly up your alley.

Monica is a recently divorced woman who only wants to find a new place to live so she can heal up & move on with her life. Unfortunately Redmonsburg wasn't the right place to live. Not only are there zombies in the graveyard (which happens to be right across the street from her home) & a ghost in her house, but there's also demons in the town, a serial killer on the loose, & her new best friend isn't exactly all she appears to be.

Like I said before, this isn't a book that takes itself seriously all the time & I love it because of this. It's like an audio version of some of my favorite 80s horror movies & Holtz really is one of the most underexposed authors in the podiobook field. This isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but then this book was never really marketed as such.

With interesting plots, humorous zombies, & a pretty good reading by the author (rarer than you think in the podiobook field), this is something that you really can't pass up. Especially since you can get it free from both Podiobooks & the author's website!

[Natalie]

I literally do not know how to rate this book. This book is drugs. I don't even know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. This book is about a woman who moves into a haunted house in a bumblefuck town, there is a robot, there is a demon, there are paranormal investigators, there are ghosts, there are zombies, and there is definitely a plot but there also isn't. This book was more of an experience than a story. The best way for me to describe this book is that someone took the video "drinking out of cups" - that level of strange - and made it a book that reads like it would be a decent video game.

If the author wasn't on a life-threatening amount of drugs when they wrote this, then I am genuinely so curious how this book came to be. I have feelings but will have to sit with them to decide what exactly they are. What a trip.

[Sarah Collum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful Dark Humor

I loved this book so much. It brought some really new ideas through the pages. It was hilarious and suspenseful... Some things you did not see coming. It was refreshing to read!

[Lavern Winters · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fun Halloween thriller! A haunted house, a serial killer, zombies, mist Demons and a demon King, a character I'll not reveal the nature of, and lots of action. Written in a lighthearted way that isn't intended for the reader to suspend disbelief, only to be entertained.

I'm not normally a horror fan and zombies aren't among my favorite things to read about, but this book kept my attention and I read it in a day - even with a lot of out of town family at my house for the holiday weekend.  Strong female characters that were a little over the top and as entertaining as they get,  a recently deceased zombie who just doesn't quite fit in with the whole Halloween ritual crowd, a political figure with a lust for ultimate power, a demon chihuahua, and an angry ghost child in a town full of oddball people all combined for a truly enjoyable read.

Monica moves to a small town to recover from her divorce and to get some peace and quiet. What she finds is anything but peace and quiet. The people she meets when she first moves in are all just a little odd.  A serial killer is on the loose, the mayor has the sheriff cowed, a crazy homeless man seems to be a prophet of sorts, and the little old lady in the store warns Monica to leave town. It all seems so strange to the young woman who just wants to start her life over. The first person she finds for a friend, Betty, is a fun loving, easily distracted woman; but she too has her secrets.

I'd let any intelligent youth who has attained abstract thought read this one. Adults who like horror and those who like satire both will enjoy this one. A great cotton candy for the brain read.  I've already gotten the sequel  "Handbook for the Festive Sociopath" by this author.

[Kelly Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was recommended on one of my Facebook groups. I didn't realize it was a horror book until I was 1/4 ways through it. It had some clearing flaws even for horror. If your going to set in the contemporary then you must keep it real. The main character moves to a small town...buys a house....with no money, no job, no prospects of getting a job. Yeah....sure. Halloween does not start at midnight on the 31. It starts at sundown. It's All Hallowed Evening. If your going to write horror...you need to do the research.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has it all: an axe murderer, a demon chihuahua, a synthetic/cyborg/lab-created woman, ghost hunters, ghosts, and zombies. Did I mention the super secret laboratory, the haunted house across from the mist covered graveyard, "mist demons", a corrupt politician, a guy who has missed the bus every day for about two years, or the local witch?
This story is packed with action and adventure, fights and friendship, at least one kick to the face, and a bit of humor, too.
It definitely kept me reading and enjoying the story.

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was like putting together a pile of puzzle pieces in different rooms without knowing what the end piece is supposed to look like. You have an idea, you jump back and forth from various rooms, then when each room is starting to get close to being done, you start putting them together as one. Complex and simple all at once, hits over the head with unexpected humor in places, overall enjoyable. Almost the epitome of "keep it simple, stupid." Would rate it 3.5 but in having to do whole stars, it deserves the round up.

[Les · Rating 3 out of 5]

The thing that got me to start reading this was the description including "a Demon Chihuahua".

This is a pretty weird book. The story is good, but it jumps around quite a bit. The dialog between characters is a bit choppy. The characters themselves are pretty odd. Overall, the book is pretty quirky, but I think that's what keeps you reading. In some ways, the story reminded me of "John Dies in the End". This isn't as well woven as that, but it has a similar vibe.

[Sabrina Biery · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up from the Kindle store on a Stuff Your Kindle Day because the GoodReads ratings was so high. I had no idea what it was about and I’m glad I didn’t read the synapses.
It’s a hilarious zombie, ghost, and “robot” story with the best twist and turns. I’ve been reading such serious books with battles and needing to pay close attention to what’s going on. This was a great break that I didn’t even know I needed.

[Tim Shepard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story

A thinking zombie, a new home owner, ghost hunters, demons, more zombies, a robot, and a demonic chihuahua. O have no idea how this concept worked. But it did. It was like one of those really bizarre dreams that just gets weirder as it goes. Worth reading and grabbing the next book in the series.

[Jamie Chandler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reminded me of a "B-Horror Movie." Zombies, a demon Chihuahua, serial killer, and a hamster that directs people to kill, he may also be a God. This book was funny, entertaining and a quick and easy read. I would recommend this book for "when I don't know what to read next, need a palate cleanser book or just to take up and afternoon on the couch."

[ivy cook]

A refreshing surprise

I was not expecting to laugh so much. I wasn't expecting the almost non stop action. I wasn't ready to fall for the characters. this was a great read and I am kinda sad that it's over. I want expecting much, and I got one of the most enjoyable reads I have had in a long long time!

[Phoenix Black · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible

Too jumbled up, too messy, crappy plot, crappy, one dimensional characters, rushed, all in all a book that from the summary sounded amazing but once read a HUGE disappointment.

[James Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite entertaining

Contains a little of everything. Ghosts, zombies, demons, and robots. Plenty of action and lots of twists. The heroes are just normal people but with a little help prevail.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book has EVERYTHING! its got zombies, a murder mystery, robots, ghosts, political intrigue, demons,a shady town plotting against interlopers, an evil chihuahua, a mysterious research facility just outside of town, AND robots!!

[reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wild Ride

That unexpected women’s empowerment book filled with a haunted house, demons, the undead and… government secrets. Journey along with the MC as she tries to start over but is haunted by more than just her ex. A little funny and surprisingly endearing read.

[T.M. Starnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice little book. Just the right amount of weird.

[Schannon Mccloud · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fun read lol

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Thomas A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twists

There were some twists and an enjoyable read. I do a lot of reading, usually a couple books a week and this one I would put in the fun catagory

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked it

I liked it but that is all I will say. I refuse to review books on AZ anymore since my last review was censored.

[Cora · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dnf

[woollypigs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light hearted entertainment to listen to while doing other chores. You didn't miss much if you forgot to press pause, for a min a two when talking to others.

[Crystal Edleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is silly, suspenseful, and a little bit chilling. I couldn't put it down.

[Leonard Levy · Rating 5 out of 5]

From page one onwards this was a really fun read. I immediately got two more of his books and am looking forward to reading them as well.

[Suzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ridiculous, but entertaining.

[Bec Denne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a wild ride.

[Petrina Binney · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of those books where I'm going to spend quite a while wondering what I just read. Strange but interesting.

[Jordynn Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like reading a horror comedy!! Literally Grady Hendrix vibes!! This book was a wild ride from start to finish and yet I could t stop reading I was so into this story!