I am just An Ordinary Man

by Gs. Subbu

Sir, you asked me who I am. What shall I say? I have been asking myself this question for quite some time and reached nowhere. After all I am no saint to throw away everything that I have and go in search of an answer. If I had, I would have been a saint. Don’t you agree? Well I have a name, but what’s in a name? You may call me an Ordinary Man. The narrator in a series of conversations with a friend who he says is his alter ego and through his own introspections, unfolds the process of growing up and aging through an exploration of all that had brought joy in living to serious questions regarding God, religion, destiny, freewill, compassion and to whether we have been really honest in our relationships; the relationships that have affected us at various stages in our life and continue to influence even our present living. They are all locked up somewhere within our private world and which we release and relish in our solitude. Though ‘I am just An Ordinary Man’ is an autobiographical novel, it is only in parts that real events have been narrated to build a base for addressing the questions and the existential angst which arise in the mind of any person during the process of living and that the first step towards resolution is in acceptance of the reality of existence and the finality of death.

Genres: India

170 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2014

About the author

An Engineer from the Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur, by qualification and a Banker by profession, he retired from the State Bank of India in the year 2010 and settled down in Chennai. An avid blogger, he has been writing regularly for the last five years on his blog ‘Sublimation’. His writings range from the deeply philosophical meditations to depicting the inherent humor present in our daily lives, from appreciation of art to writing poetry and doing book reviews. His other interests include painting and music.

'Darkness and Beyond – A Medley of Many Lives' is GS.Subbu’s second book. While in the first book 'I am just An Ordinary Man' a fictional autobiography he dealt with the process of growing up and aging, addressing the questions and the existential angst which arise in the mind of any person during the process of living, 'Darkness and Beyond' is all about being part of a larger process of understanding through the lives of others that it is ‘Hope’ which takes us forward in living an authentic life.

Reviews

[Sridhar Raju · Rating 5 out of 5]

The ’Ordinary Man’ is ordinary only to the extent that he is not a public figure or famous. He is ordinary to the extent that all of us are ordinary and lead mundane lives. Yet with his extraordinary thoughts he captivates us. He is involved in a conversation with someone, whom he calls his alter ego, on the events that shaped his life-his father’s demise when he (the protagonist) was just 13, his days at a premier engineering institution, his dabbling with painting, drama and music., his traditional marriage and the story of his love for his loyal wife and lovely daughters, his mixed feelings about his moderately successful career and then his thoughts on what could have been. The author jumps from the past to the present and back to the past, replicating the action of a human brain which works not chronologically but by association. The story is interesting and well told. And you realise that this “Ordinary Man’ is by no means ordinary. Shakespeare, Camus, Sartre and Gide among many others, quantum physics and Schrodinger’s cat all influence the protagonist and one sees the existential crisis or angst( as the author terms it) in his musings.
I must confess that I started the book expecting a cross between a blog and a chronology of the author’s life with a dash of humour thrown in. While I found all three I also found a profound exposition on human nature, on morality, on passion and compassion packaged around lovable human beings.
There were many passages which brought a lump to my throat and there were others which brought smiles of happiness. It is rare that a book can touch both the head and the heart. ‘I am Just an Ordinary Man’ does just that.
Keep them coming, Mr.Subbu.

[Suprabhat Ganguly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not a great bibliophile but I was very keen to read the book of G S Subbo after I came to know of its publication from Face book. This was because I know Subbo, both of us having worked in the same organisation and more importantly I was familiar with his writings through his blog which I found highly enjoyable. So with great expectation I ordered a copy of the book. I took about two days to finish reading the book as I am a bit slow reader. I must admit that I have enjoyed reading the book, every line of it from beginning to end.

I am just an ORDINARY MAN is indeed a fascinating book, a book written in an autobiographical style but it is something more than an autobiography. The author has narrated some events of his life some real and some imaginary and uses the same to portray the inner feelings of an ordinary man, his joy and sorrow, pain and relief, hate and love, doubts and believes, fears and fantasies. I believe that the narrator of Subbo’s book represents every ordinary man or the mankind as a whole and Subbo has talked about every possible feelings and emotions that one can experience in life by beautifully narrating some real events of his life and some imaginary ones. I am sure the reader will identify himself with the author as he starts reading the book.

The author has shown great command over his language in the book. He has dealt with the most complex philosophical subjects like God, death, meaning of life in an easy to understand manner. The book exudes the author’s erudition. However his writings are free from verbose and complex jargon and will therefore be appealing to all and even a not so serious reader like me will highly relish reading the book. Some of the passages like the one on the author’s father and his death is indeed very touching. The passages on God and the author’s letters to God have brought out the questions that are haunting the mankind through the ages about God and His machinations. The issues raised by the author in his letters to God reminds me of what Swami Vivekananda wrote in his paper on Hinduism and I quote the great Swamiji Quote Is man a tiny boat in a tempest, raised one moment on the foamy crest of a billow and dashed down into a yawning chasm the next, rolling to and fro at the mercy of good and bad actions- a powerless, helpless wreck in an ever-ragging, ever rushing , uncompromising currents of cause and effect- a little moth placed under the wheel of causation, which rolls on crushing everything in its way and waits not for the widow’s tears or the orphan’s cry? Unquote.

The epilogue of the book and the imaginary letter of the grandfather are indeed heart-warming. The book’s cover showing the photograph of its author has been most appropriate. The fonts of the letters in the book are of proper size and will not cause any strain on the eye. This may be the first published book of the author but it unmistakably bears the stamp of an established writer. I strongly recommend the book I am just an ORDINARY MAN by not so ordinary G S Subbo to my all friends.

[Kishor Kulkarni · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I am just an ordinary man” is an honest and contemplative exposition of the author’s mind in a well articulated style. Although the author’s life as brought out in this book is like that of an ordinary middle class person from a conservative family background, the book is not really a simple autobiographical account of the author. It is much more than that. It presents an extra-ordinary philosophical view of an ordinary man’s life. It starkly brings out the fundamental fact of life that one, especially during the sunset years of one’s life, has to more likely tread a lonely path. This is brought out very effectively, for example, in the fact of the author and his wife leaving home together in the evening, but the author turning right towards the beach for a walk and his wife turning left towards the neighbourhood temple!

The author claims himself to be an ordinary man where the ordinariness is in the sense that most of us seem to be programmed to go through our own life willy nilly trying to fit our situation as best as possible. Most of us are ordinary because most of the times, we keep seeing only a very limited and near horizon, possibly because we do not know or are not designed to know the “big purpose” behind not just our individual life but behind this creation as a whole.

The author says he is an ordinary man and that is what he brings out through most of the book by narrating his life story. However, the chapter titled “Sublimation” reveals how an ordinary man’s journey of life can culminate in the realisation of the fact that there is no universally applicable purpose of life, nor a particularly ideal goal to be achieved. Life is just a journey along a circular loop and that realisation is the real aim of the last of the four phases of life, namely sanyasashram – a detachment from life even without leaving home and family.

All in all, most of us being ordinary should be able to identify with the protagonist of the book and should get spurred on to contemplate on their own individual life philosophically.

[Varsha Nagpal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the book in one sitting. The story of this "ordinary man" in parts is really the story of every person growing up in India in the 1960's. Those little infatuations, memories of looking at girls and their leaving an impact which the author still remembers are very interesting. Almost everyone then owned a motorbike, and I have heard at least of three other instances when the men would ride on without realising that their spouse was still to get on the pillion.
The sadness of losing his father at a very tender age comes through very strongly. It seems that in some way the author has kept up his relationship with his father alive by loving to read books as his father had inculcated in him the love for books. The lessons that he learned from his father have been passed on to his own children in due course.
The thoughts on God, God's existence, destiny, the relevance of one's existence have come out in a very interesting manner in a conversational format.
Being honest in an autobiography is very difficult, as one has to lay bare a lot of one's own self. This honesty comes through very nicely, and makes the narrative very interesting.
The book is an excellent read, and almost everyone will be able to relate to a lot of incidents, which will make them remember such incidents down their own memory lane. This is a beautiful and very interesting story of a person living his life as it is expected of him, leading his life with sincerity. He has used his mastery over his pen by writing letters to his daughters to pass on his wisdom without treading on anyone's toes. His stance as a father who is always there to watch over the interest of his daughters and their children comes out very beautifully.
I could not put down the book, and recommend that everyone should read it. Everyone will find their own story unfold in front of them.

[Author Inderjit · Rating 5 out of 5]

'I am an ordinary man'- By GS.subbu is an autobiographical depiction.
This book is more than mere a memoir or a travelogue.
The writer depicts the complexities and the interwoven human nature.The inner search for finding the ultimate truth.This is a book of love, faith, hope and relationship that influenced him, specially the author  successfully describes beautifully, the relationships with his wife and daughters who hold a very special place in his life.
The book reflects the the truth of life in form of cycles and deep inner search towards acceptance towards silence.
A process where the ordinary man meets the actual fact of life.Thus making this as highlighted criterion as 'Sublimation'- revealing the ultimate detachments from the false identities of the world in search of inner peace.
Some lines I've  selected that connected me to the book is the transformation.
"It was a courage that helped in breaking free from the shackles and led me to peace. The process was slow and at times painful.But now as I sit here trying to put together the pieces that have spread over the last few years, I am at peace.You may ask why I am trying to put together all these fragments if I have already attained that state of peace. Let me make it clear that it is not because my wife asked me to or a bid to regain my ability to recollect and reconstruct".
This is the journey of the author where he deals the uncertainties and toughest challenges that break him and how elegantly he gathers the courage to stand back again.
This is an exceptionally beautiful masterpiece gifted by the author for the readers.
For which I must congratulate him.A book to be proud of !
A must read recommendation.
I was connected truly and
a great book to have on your book shelves and bedside tablet.
Thanks for the opportunity to read your book.
A well deserved 5 stars.
Inderjit kaur.

[Gopalan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am Just an ordinary man is the fiction I picked up in the latter half of this year. It is also the first book for me to have been read entirely in my tablet. I had influences on my thought process which in my experience I can compare with that I experienced while reading Paulo Coelho an author I have been reading now and then in the past 8 years or so. The narrative is unique, conversational walking reader through a life which resembles that of reader in some ways but not without sharing a perspective that grows on the reader who is led to believe her life has been captured in the lens of an ace photographer. There are quite a few conversations which are intellectually honest about the overwhelming life events and what one could do or what else one could have done making sense of as well as deriving aesthetic fulfilment from life. The presentation is deft in that the reader is led into an experiential view of life, decluttered and at the same time nuanced in the unique dimension of honesty that makes an ordinary man's life an extraordinary mirror image of every one of us. In the beholding of a beautiful mind life is a most creative masterpiece leaving little room for resistance and no option but that of embracing life in grace. A man or woman could be ordinary which I would rather believe to be representing the author's intent to involve the reader in the conversations as an equal and a sober equal at that. But life is universally extra ordinary and deserves nothing less than an honest and unperturbed embrace free from guilt or needs of redemption. That is the message I have received in my first reading. I am sure to do a second reading as I believe I may need to grow in my limited capacity to capture subtleties and sublimations that manifest the author's thoughts while writing this remarkable novel I recommend to my fellow literature enthusiasts.

[RaghunathanPV · Rating 4 out of 5]

Through his book “I am just an ordinary man”, GS Subbu brilliantly paints his biographical canvass with an admirable candidness. Since life of any ordinary person courses through series of struggles and undulating cycle of pains and pleasures, Subbu, through his book, endears himself to most of the readers as they are able to relate themselves to his experiences of the various situations and emotions that are concomitant to the relationships one gets into, as a son, as a husband , as a father and so on as life sails along. In that sense, the book’s title ‘I am just an ordinary man’ is apt.
That said, the book is not plebeian. It is deep in its underlying philosophical message of how the ordinary man beaten by the vicissitudes of his life’s course, accepts the ‘truth of life’; when he realizes the truth, acceptance follows and peace comes to prevail. While one may or may not agree with Subbu’s philosophy of acceptance and thus reconciling with Destiny, none can deny that ultimately Destiny decides even if one is born to become Napoleon Bonaparte. What is important is whether one has played his/her various roles effectively putting in his/her best efforts. One learns through experience that one should just do his/her duty without looking for results or rewards. Subbu conveys this essence of Bhagwad Geetha very subtly.
Subbu’s life-course might have been of the ordinary genre, similar to those of millions of other ordinary men and women; but certainly not Subbu’s genius as a writer.
A lucidly written book, ‘I am just an ordinary man’ is an extraordinary autobiographical narration with a powerful message to which most men and women can easily relate. A must read book. I will give it four stars on five.

[Gs. Subbu]

A REVIEW OF THE BOOK BY MANOHAR LUTHRA put up by way of comments on his book page is posted here -

I have just finished reading your book.I have to say something about the book. Firstly there are lot many similarities in the life of an ordinary man you have so beautifully narrated that I can easily relate to being myself an ordinary man like you.

The conflict in the ordinary man' s mundane life and undercurrent of his search for higher consciousness and his quest for self realisation remains with him throughout his life journey. At times it leads to his unexplained angst against established norms of living. But constant search for meaning of life drives him on. While discharging his duties towards his family, he never gets drifted from his real goal in life - to find permanent peace. His belief in God and religion keeps changing as he encounters ups and downs in life. Ultimately, life propels him to what he calls sublimation.

The story of an ordinary man is written with complete honesty and remarkable transparency. The letters to God and to the daughters reflect inner most feelings of faith and love. They give an insight into the author's state of mind.

The story of an ordinary man is though an autobiographical account of author's life, it has universal appeal. (less) (less)

[Sudhir Mankodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

When you have to write review of a book written by a close friend it becomes more difficult as there always be a positive bias! While I have known Subu for years (almost for more than 20 years), I never knew he can pen serious articles and publish collection of such articles in the form of a lucid book like this. Any one who will read this book, will have a feeling that the book is written out of the reader's own experience. And that is the reason, "I am Just AN ORDINARY MAN" becomes extra ordinary and the author of the book goes up quite high in our esteem to make us feel "real" and "authentic". He has no qualms about mentioning his "weaknesses" as he perceives them and without being judgemental he can appreciate and live with those weakness without any sense of guilt. That he has been able to execute his project of publishing a book without any pomp and only through his sheer grit is the proof of his steely character. I wish, many more such collection of articles will flow from him and he will not condom his pen! Great job Subu.

[Nk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading a book in one session, is not something I am not used to in the recent days. But reading Subbu's book "I am just AN ORDINARY MAN" in one shot has been some kind of record for me.

Subbu depicts like Samuel Beckett, the life of an ordinary man, but the capitals in the Title tell us something - that is no ordinary man. Life achievements are counted in the modern times through the number of wounds one carries, but unlike the ancient days to be a Bhishma, one does not need a bed of arrows any more. Subbu captures it all - ordinary is no longer ordinary; life's journey is a rock that stands still even as the river keeps on rushing by.

The story surprises you, although it is so written that there cannot be any surprise at all! I also love 'The Beatles' and they said it right - "Because the world is round."

Please read this book, buy a few a copies, gift them, because - Because the world is round.

[Induchoodan Menon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extraordinary work which keeps you interested right through, may be because the story strikes a chord in your heart. The author’s style of story-telling is effortless and gripping at the same time. He analyses his own life in an impartial manner through the medium of a friend who is nothing but his own alter-ego. This is the life-story of a person who through the fever and fret of life never gets diverted from the search for the deep inner silence. The failures in life disappoint him only briefly as he bounces back to his normal self by examining and analyzing the events in their proper perspective. The success or failure in the external world does not matter when it comes to achieving the deep inner silence. The message that seems to emerge from the narrative is that the search for meaning of life is ultimately pointless as it is left to oneself to give a meaning to it. This is a book which comes under “must read” category.

[V Prakash · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was an unique experience. A first instance where I knew the author- he was my senior and also my guide through my early Banking days. The book reflects the personality of the author and also his many influencers. There is a part which is autobiographical of his early days, a kafkaesque reflection of life, some parts like speaking to a man was his introspection with is alter ego. The author brings out the meaning of life through his reflections and his family life and that all of us are mere mortals and subject to various vissicitudes that life brings us.
All in all, enjoyed reading the book and would recommend a reading to all book lovers who look for the inner meaning of our existence.
This is a good read and I believe in the next publication the chapters would be better interwoven and content more tightly wrapped for a gripping reading.

[N MOHAN · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book to read for all to look back at their own journey till date and also imagine good things before the sun sets; The author has vividly described intricate moments he had undergone in his long journey; briefly describing in such a way that a reader is engrossed and want to complete once started; The simple language; the continuity; the subtle change in his experience in different times; and many more emotional moments make this book a WORTH TO READ by all ages

[Chood Ramkumar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, engaging, yet rings home some of the very questions every mortal asks, or rather should ask...

[Iqbal Latif · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘As you grow older you come to appreciate those little things and laugh at your own idiosyncrasies. It is when you are able to do this, you move towards a total acceptance of the person that you are and life becomes easier and comfortable. Your relationships become genuine, for you do not hide much.

When you have stripped yourself bare like the trees in the fall season you will be standing barren with nothing to hide.

How can one ever write the story of one’s life when it has not ended? If he does, then it is an incomplete story. But isn’t it a paradox that one has to be alive to write one’s own story, a story which is never complete till he is dead’

GS. Subbu, I am just An Ordinary Man

[Gangaikondan S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review for G S Subbu’s “I am an Ordinary Man” –2014
By Kris Krishna

Which male individual born and growing up during the mid 20th century in the rigid middle class in post independent India has not felt the angst of who they really were and what they were destined to be?

G.S.Subbu in this semi autobiographical and fictional novelette has given voice to those “yearning to breathe free”. He connects with a whole generation of Indians that felt “left out” in the “freedom,” that India promised in 1947.

His approach to story telling adopts the protagonist versus alter ego style and in the process he reinvents himself several times to describe the many what ifs that could have moved him from being an “ordinary man” to someone more “successful”.

The depth of his erudition is on full display as he quotes philosophers, poets and artistes to buttress his argument that “waiting for miracles” does not guarantee escape from being an “ordinary man”.

In the end his fictionalized last years..”death” as it approaches him is no scarier than the comfort of knowing that his “grandchildren will recognize him” and relationships and his legacy will endure.

A wonderfully conceived book and I recommend it if you want an introduction to the age old question, “Who am I?”

[Abie Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Unique, Philosophic Creation

A philosophical and erudite work. The author's command of the English language is masterly.
A very readable book but I'm unsure in which category to place it in. Is it an autobiography? Is it fiction?
Whatever it is, it is honest and unpretentious. But probably not for an ordinary reader of racy paperbacks. More for the thinker and the philosopher.
Hopefully, the writer will use his talents to pen more books.