Never Can Say Goodbye: The Life of a Death Doula and the Art of a Peaceful End

by Darnell Lamont Walker

“Never Can Say Goodbye is deliciously woven from threads of guidance, memory, and devotion to the sacred labor of holding space at the end of life." —Alua Arthur, author of Briefly Perfectly Human 

Compelling narrative that highlights the importance of a death doula and generational traumas faced by the Black community.

Embedded within the fabric of American society are deeply ingrained taboos surrounding death. For African Americans, these taboos are compounded by a complex interplay of factors that make conversations about death even more elusive. The echoes of systemic racism, unequal access to healthcare, and the enduring impact of generational traumas have created an environment where death is often seen as a subject best left untouched.

In his debut book Never Can Say Goodbye, death doula, Darnell Lamont

delves into the reasons behind the silence surrounding death within the Black community.narrates his personal experiences of holding space for individuals at the end of their lives. guides and comforts those navigating grief, who silently mourn. Walker shares personal stories from his role as a compassionate guide navigating the delicate space between life and death. These narratives unfold as intimate accounts of individuals, each seeking solace, closure, and the opportunity to share the stories that define them.

This book is for anyone wanting to witness the healing that unfolds when someone is afforded the chance to articulate their life's journey, find closure in their own narrative, and ultimately, face the inevitable with a newfound sense of peace.

Never Can Say Goodbye captures the essence of these profoundly human moments while exploring the connection between the grieving and their doula, revealing the transformative power of storytelling in the face of mortality. Walker helps you process feelings and emotions from past losses and instills wisdom on how you can hold space and provide your loved ones with the closure they deserve.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook

228 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 10, 2026

About the author

Darnell Lamont Walker is a death doula and writer, a bridge guiding individuals and communities through grief, toward healing, meaning, and whatever joy remains. An Emmy-nominated children’s television writer (Work It Out Wombats!, Karma’s World, Blue’s Clues & You), he believes storytelling—whether for children or those facing life’s hardest transitions—is a path to connection, safety, and belonging. His upcoming book, Never Can Say Goodbye (Harper One), explores his experiences as a death doula, offering insight into loss, love, and the ways we find our way forward. Through words and witness, he helps others honor their stories, navigate the in-between, and embrace what comes next.

Reviews

[Kristen P · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I want to thank the author for the work that he does and his openness and vulnerability in writing this book. In late 2020/early 2021, I lost 3 of my grandparents within a 3 month span. At the time, I had no idea how to process that loss within such a short time span and to this day it is difficult to grasp. I found comfort during this book reading the many different experiences of loss and how there is no one way to grieve. I love that the author encourages us as a society to be more open about death and grief and stop treating it like it is a topic to dance around. I also strongly agree with being open and honest with children about death instead of using euphemisms. It certainly does not serve children in the long run to shelter them from the realities of life which includes death.

Sadly, I have to say this book did become quite repetitive at times. Some variation of the phrase "holding space" or "creating space" appeared over 100 times throughout the book. The takeaways after the different stories of loss also became repetitive as there are really only so many ways of saying "support people in the way that they need." I also really wish the author had delved more deeply into the topic of the Black community and grief. It felt extremely surface level and didn't examine the ways that systemic racism, generational trauma, and disparities in health care has impacted the Black community and their relationship with death/grief. It stated that those things affect the Black community, but didn't delve any further than that. I expected it to factor much more into the book as the description on GoodReads strongly focuses on this as the driving theme. In reality, only one chapter in the book really addressed this issue and cited only one fact relating to black patients receiving less effective pain management than white patients. I think further examination of these issues would have led to a more compelling read.

That being said, I'm very appreciative of the work the author does to be with people during some of the hardest moments of their life. It is certainly not something a lot of people would be handle over and over again.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, HarperOne, for early access.

[Elizabeth]

As heard on Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen - Darnell Lamont Walker: A Death Doula's Lessons For Dying With Few Regrets

Death doula Darnell Lamont Walker joins Chrissy for a deeply human conversation about what it really means to show up at the end of life—for ourselves and for the people we love. Together, they unpack why death doesn’t have to be terrifying, how culture and ritual shape grief, and what actually helps families when the moment comes, including the often-misunderstood “death rally.” This episode isn’t about making death easier—it’s about making it shared, honest, and less lonely.

 

Key Takeaways

How presence matters more than saying the “right” thing when supporting someone who is dying. Why death is not an emergency—and how slowing down can reduce panic, regret, and conflict. How the “death rally” works and why a sudden burst of energy near the end is a natural part of dying. Why telling your story before you die matters—and how legacy is built through ordinary moments, not grand achievements. How planning for death can actually help you live better now, with fewer regrets and deeper connection.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

https://rss.art19.com/episodes/0dae38...

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Never Can Say Goodbye felt like exhaling. To witness a Black man document the calling, philosophy, and daily practice of being a death doula is both grounding and affirming. There isn’t much teaching here about health disparities or historical trauma of Black bodies for readers who are expecting that. Instead, Walker threads his own story of grief and embodies practice of doing this work.

I enjoyed reading the memories of watching his grandmother tend to people in their final days when he was just a boy. You can feel how those early experiences shaped the reverence he brings to the bedside of the dying.

Each chapter reads almost like a eulogy honoring the people who invited him into their most sacred threshold. And as I read, I found myself doing something unexpected: drafting my own obituary, sitting with the discomfort of mortality, and realizing that this book is not really about death as much as it is about living well while we can.

Walker gently asks us to accept that death is not the opposite of life but part of its continuum. His words: “even a single mindful act each day can keep you connected to the life you wanted when time feels short… To be a death doula is to be a life doula” capture the heart of this book.

Readers will find comfort here. Not in avoidance but in the dignity of facing what is inevitable with intention, storytelling, and care. This is a book about grief, yes—but also about agency, legacy, and the sacred act of helping someone leave this world feeling seen, heard, and whole.

[lindsloveslit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you netgalley for the digital ARC of Never Can Say Goodbye: The Life of a Death Doula and the Art of a Peaceful Goodbye

I was immediately drawn to this book because of its title. There's been a lot of loss of around me in the last few months, so "THE ART OF A PEACEFUL GOODBYE" and the words "Death Doula" intrigued me. Prior to this book, I had never heard of that profession, but I'm glad they exist! Their job is to help bring comfort to the dying process and to help people navigate death in a way that respects and aligns with their beliefs and values. Thoughout the book, I really appreciated when Walker shared about his personal xperiences - especially those with his family. It was then that I felt most connected to the writing.

Unfortunately, the description of the book and the book itself did not align to me. It took until 25% for race to be mentioned (& again briefly around 53%), but it doesn't dive deep or speak in any detail on generational traumas, historical injustices, or system disparities mentioned in the description of the book. Instead, it felt more self-help focused with touches of memoir/biography.

Even so, it was a well written and Walker asks really important questions that challenge us to live life to the fullest, while we are still able. I think those that are in the care taking field or those that might be experiencing loss can find value from reading this!

[Valerie Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

A same day read that’ll only have you pausing to take a deep breath and process. I take little time for leisure or pouring back into myself as a busy working mother of two, both having active schedules, along with caring for my mother after a stroke that’s rendered her bedridden and unable to communicate. I decided to try audio books in an attempt of multitasking. In as little as 10 words I found myself lying on my couch while clinging to every word, house chores now seaming less important. I finished the book sitting by my mother’s hospital bed, I let the words bleed into my reality as if I were sitting in each room with the author. Earlier in life I sat by the bed of my husband, held his face and watched him slip from one consciousness to another and here I am sitting by my mother watching her as her body gives way to the next journey. This book is pivotal for those with friends and family in the processes of transitioning. I now have a peace knowing the comfort I can provide for a loved one in their final moments. This book is beautiful written and impactful.

[Tonja Stidhum · Rating 5 out of 5]

NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE is an invitation to sit with grief in the most loving, warm, and gripping way. Through vulnerably honest retellings of his doula clients, his own history with death/grief, and guiding tools, Darnell offers a salve for those who are uncomfortable with the topic of death, those who are curious about grief coping mechanisms, and those are completely open about the topic of death. Somehow, it's for those who fit in all three categories.

This book is like a companion sitting on the couch, whispering in your ear as grief washes over you through a random smell, a song you hear that reminds you of them, a numbing and frozen bout of depression, a panic attack, an angry burst, a giggling fit.. all of this is grief. And Darnell allows it all. Because it IS it all. It's everything and nothing. And I'm glad Darnell wrote about it. You will be too, once you read it. Pick it up and savor it while you grieve, while you avoid grieving, and while you go about your day. You won't be able to say goodbye to it, even as you flip the last page. Thank you, Darnell.

[Taj · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. The author shares personal experiences with death, grief, and life that feel grounded in real world experiences. It’s a beautiful recollection of the value of each and every moment that connects us to ourselves and the people around us right until the final moment. I felt stirred by this book, and while the author pulls no punches, there’s merely a gentle nudging along that asks valuable questions about grieving people who were challenging in life in the ways that we must each decide on our own. This book acknowledges the complexity of grief through some cultural, selected, and societal identities we pick up along the way. It’s a lovely book I intend to revisit and share with family to start the necessary and challenging conversation around death.

I really appreciated reading this and glad I was able to get a book so quickly after release.

[kylie · Rating 3 out of 5]

While valuable and often beautiful, this leaned more self-help than I preferred.

I appreciated the author's perspective on Black men and mourning/grief. Caretaking (whether coming into this life or going out) is often "women's work," so that's the lens we often get to see it from. Both are valuable, but this was fresh.

This also made me think about having the privilege to live our lives to the fullest. Unfortunately, it is a privilege, one we're not all afforded the opportunity to do. It's sad that we often simply cannot afford to do all the things we WANT to do until we're almost out of time and can justify abandoning capitalism because hey we're gonna die soon anyway. And that's still only if you can afford your bucket list.

**I received my copy from Netgalley.

[Cara Burris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never Can Say Goodbye is a read for everyone. The author shares his experiences as a death doula and each chapter is a tribute to those he has helped prepare for their death. The personal stories are so touching. It truly pulls at your heart strings as well as makes you think about your own mortality and wishes.

[Alexander V. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written book that feels equally about living and dying. Well paced. The author paints a full and clear portrait of the lives he has encountered throughout his journey. He made me think about my own end of life plans. I also enjoyed learning about the different ways people process grief and loss.