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The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself
From the bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, a guide to understanding healthy dependency—to bring our relationships back into balance
I need some space.
Why are you so distant?
You want more than I can give.
Every relationship in our lives – from love and close friendship to extended family and our wider social circle – is a balancing act. If we give too much, we begin to lose ourselves. If we protect ourselves too much, we lose the closeness we all need. Getting the balance right is how we find more connection, authenticity, and joy.
The Balancing Act is a roadmap for finding that balance. With her signature blend of clarity and compassion, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab sheds light on healthy dependency, and how to achieve it. Along the way, she unpacks buzzwords and trending topics including codependency, attachment styles, inner family systems, and more – offering practical advice for recognizing our needs, navigating conflict, and finding more harmony with the important people in our lives.
Whether you’re yearning for more trust with a spouse or partner, more clarity with a best friend or sibling, or more agency in how you show up in the world, these insights will help you reevaluate, reset, and relate better.
I need some space.
Why are you so distant?
You want more than I can give.
Every relationship in our lives – from love and close friendship to extended family and our wider social circle – is a balancing act. If we give too much, we begin to lose ourselves. If we protect ourselves too much, we lose the closeness we all need. Getting the balance right is how we find more connection, authenticity, and joy.
The Balancing Act is a roadmap for finding that balance. With her signature blend of clarity and compassion, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab sheds light on healthy dependency, and how to achieve it. Along the way, she unpacks buzzwords and trending topics including codependency, attachment styles, inner family systems, and more – offering practical advice for recognizing our needs, navigating conflict, and finding more harmony with the important people in our lives.
Whether you’re yearning for more trust with a spouse or partner, more clarity with a best friend or sibling, or more agency in how you show up in the world, these insights will help you reevaluate, reset, and relate better.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published February 10, 2026
108 people are currently reading
3570 people want to read
About the author
Nedra Glover Tawwab
36 books1,371 followersTherapist, NYT Bestselling Author, and Relationship Expert.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
February 20, 2026
Book #21 of 2026!
4.5 stars rounded up
What to expect in this book:
-Self-help
-Psychology
-Relational exploration
-Interpersonal boundaries
Thoughts
Thank you so much to @prhaudio for the gifted audiobook!
Nedra can do no wrong!!! I recommend her books almost on a daily basis to my therapy clients and find her books so applicable and digestible for anyone. As a mental health therapist myself, it is helpful to have resources to point clients and friends to regarding creating healthy relationships. Nedra expands on boundaries and relationships more in The Balancing Act by discussing through her experiences and anecdotes from her own practice about the processes of relational dependency. Nedra informs readers of healthy dependency by discussing attachment theory and different types of desires for emotional closeness. I will definitely be using this in my practice.
If you love to learn more about how to be in healthy relationships, this is a wonderful resource.
4.5 stars rounded up
What to expect in this book:
-Self-help
-Psychology
-Relational exploration
-Interpersonal boundaries
Thoughts
Thank you so much to @prhaudio for the gifted audiobook!
Nedra can do no wrong!!! I recommend her books almost on a daily basis to my therapy clients and find her books so applicable and digestible for anyone. As a mental health therapist myself, it is helpful to have resources to point clients and friends to regarding creating healthy relationships. Nedra expands on boundaries and relationships more in The Balancing Act by discussing through her experiences and anecdotes from her own practice about the processes of relational dependency. Nedra informs readers of healthy dependency by discussing attachment theory and different types of desires for emotional closeness. I will definitely be using this in my practice.
If you love to learn more about how to be in healthy relationships, this is a wonderful resource.
February 10, 2026
A thoughtful resource for navigating relationships without losing yourself.
Each of Nedra Glover Tawwab’s books has found me at a moment when I truly needed it. Set Boundaries, Find Peace gave me the language to begin healing an inner child who was never allowed autonomy. Drama Free helped me think more intentionally about boundaries and breaking cycles during a season of deep family change.
This book arrived during a different phase of my life. As I navigate healthier romantic relationships, a new question has surfaced for me: what actually makes a relationship healthy? Not just boundaries, but balance. Not just independence, but connection.
What I appreciate most about this book is that it feels like a resource I can return to as I navigate relationships. It clearly defines concepts that are often sensationalized or misused in pop culture, and the reflections invite honesty without shame. This is not a book to binge quickly. I found myself wanting to slow down after reading too fast, because it is meant to be savored and used for reflection.
I have used Nedra’s books alongside therapy before, and this one is no different. More than anything, this book reassured my nervous system that I am not alone, and that it is okay to still be learning these things. I would especially recommend it to anyone at the beginning of their healing journey, or to those who want to better understand themselves in relationships without losing who they are.
Each of Nedra Glover Tawwab’s books has found me at a moment when I truly needed it. Set Boundaries, Find Peace gave me the language to begin healing an inner child who was never allowed autonomy. Drama Free helped me think more intentionally about boundaries and breaking cycles during a season of deep family change.
This book arrived during a different phase of my life. As I navigate healthier romantic relationships, a new question has surfaced for me: what actually makes a relationship healthy? Not just boundaries, but balance. Not just independence, but connection.
What I appreciate most about this book is that it feels like a resource I can return to as I navigate relationships. It clearly defines concepts that are often sensationalized or misused in pop culture, and the reflections invite honesty without shame. This is not a book to binge quickly. I found myself wanting to slow down after reading too fast, because it is meant to be savored and used for reflection.
I have used Nedra’s books alongside therapy before, and this one is no different. More than anything, this book reassured my nervous system that I am not alone, and that it is okay to still be learning these things. I would especially recommend it to anyone at the beginning of their healing journey, or to those who want to better understand themselves in relationships without losing who they are.
February 12, 2026
Nedra Tawwab has a gift for explaining relationship dynamics in a way that is clear, compassionate, and actionable. The Balancing Act helped me understand the difference between closeness and enmeshment and reminded me that healthy relationships require both connection and independence. It’s a timely read for anyone doing personal growth work and wanting to build stronger, more intentional relationships. My favorite quote from the book - “Vulnerability is what makes our connections deeper, not the amount of time we spend together or the relationship title.”
February 11, 2026
Book Review: The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency
The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency offers a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of one of the most misunderstood concepts in emotional development: dependency. In this reflective nonfiction work, Judith Viorst challenges the cultural ideal of complete independence and instead argues that healthy dependency is not a weakness, but a necessary and lifelong component of human well-being.
Viorst draws on psychology, personal insight, and everyday examples to show how people move through cycles of dependence and independence across the lifespan. From childhood attachments to adult relationships, she illustrates that emotional health is rooted in balance—knowing when to rely on others and when to stand on one’s own. The book gently dismantles the notion that needing support signals failure, reframing it as a sign of emotional maturity and self-awareness.
The writing is accessible, conversational, and quietly reassuring. Viorst avoids clinical heaviness, making complex psychological ideas feel relatable and grounded in real life. Her reflections resonate especially strongly in discussions of relationships, caregiving, aging, and loss, where dependency often resurfaces in ways people may resist or feel ashamed of.
One of the book’s strengths is its validation of vulnerability. Rather than promoting rigid self-sufficiency, The Balancing Act encourages readers to embrace interdependence—the idea that giving and receiving support are equally valuable. This perspective feels especially relevant in a society that often prizes productivity and emotional stoicism over connection.
This book is well suited for readers interested in psychology, personal growth, and emotional resilience. Calm, insightful, and affirming, The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency ultimately reminds readers that strength does not come from standing alone, but from learning how to lean—wisely, intentionally, and without shame.
The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency offers a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of one of the most misunderstood concepts in emotional development: dependency. In this reflective nonfiction work, Judith Viorst challenges the cultural ideal of complete independence and instead argues that healthy dependency is not a weakness, but a necessary and lifelong component of human well-being.
Viorst draws on psychology, personal insight, and everyday examples to show how people move through cycles of dependence and independence across the lifespan. From childhood attachments to adult relationships, she illustrates that emotional health is rooted in balance—knowing when to rely on others and when to stand on one’s own. The book gently dismantles the notion that needing support signals failure, reframing it as a sign of emotional maturity and self-awareness.
The writing is accessible, conversational, and quietly reassuring. Viorst avoids clinical heaviness, making complex psychological ideas feel relatable and grounded in real life. Her reflections resonate especially strongly in discussions of relationships, caregiving, aging, and loss, where dependency often resurfaces in ways people may resist or feel ashamed of.
One of the book’s strengths is its validation of vulnerability. Rather than promoting rigid self-sufficiency, The Balancing Act encourages readers to embrace interdependence—the idea that giving and receiving support are equally valuable. This perspective feels especially relevant in a society that often prizes productivity and emotional stoicism over connection.
This book is well suited for readers interested in psychology, personal growth, and emotional resilience. Calm, insightful, and affirming, The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency ultimately reminds readers that strength does not come from standing alone, but from learning how to lean—wisely, intentionally, and without shame.
February 14, 2026
This book is a great book to have in your toolbox. It provides simple, yet practical ways to manage relationships of any kind. It encourages us to see each individual for who they are and suggests that we expand our supports and identify different people for different aspects of our lives. “When a relationship limits your ability to have connections with others it’s unhealthy.”
While Glover is definitely an advocate for boundaries she also makes space for the idea that relationships may require some flexibility and reminds us that we’re all human and we will make mistakes. “Imperfect relationships are not failures. They are testaments to the value of our connections.”
At the end of each chapter she provides reflective questions that asks us to be curious about ourselves, our feelings and how we might be showing up in our relationships.
“Avoiding discomfort will keep you stuck in the same situation that you’d like to change.” If you’re feeling stuck in some of your relationships this books is great place to start. It’s an easy read with practical tips and you can always go back to it as a refresher!
While Glover is definitely an advocate for boundaries she also makes space for the idea that relationships may require some flexibility and reminds us that we’re all human and we will make mistakes. “Imperfect relationships are not failures. They are testaments to the value of our connections.”
At the end of each chapter she provides reflective questions that asks us to be curious about ourselves, our feelings and how we might be showing up in our relationships.
“Avoiding discomfort will keep you stuck in the same situation that you’d like to change.” If you’re feeling stuck in some of your relationships this books is great place to start. It’s an easy read with practical tips and you can always go back to it as a refresher!
February 10, 2026
Boundaries are meant to keep us connected. [I]mperfect connections still add value to our lives.
Nedra Tawwab's newest book tackles the question of how to stay at home with yourself while balancing all of your other relationships. Using stories from her experience as a therapist and her own life, she guides us through codependency, hyper independence, attachment styles and more while helping us dig deeper with reflection questions at the end of each chapter. I always enjoy that she approaches her work not by looking to help us cut people off, but instead as figuring out how to help us maintain the relationships that we want to keep while not losing ourselves. This is a book to take your time reading through according to where you might need some new perspective in your own life and relationships.
Nedra Tawwab's newest book tackles the question of how to stay at home with yourself while balancing all of your other relationships. Using stories from her experience as a therapist and her own life, she guides us through codependency, hyper independence, attachment styles and more while helping us dig deeper with reflection questions at the end of each chapter. I always enjoy that she approaches her work not by looking to help us cut people off, but instead as figuring out how to help us maintain the relationships that we want to keep while not losing ourselves. This is a book to take your time reading through according to where you might need some new perspective in your own life and relationships.
February 10, 2026
As ever, Nedra's latest book is clear, concise, and to the point, offering practical advice and relatable anecdotes to help us navigate the give and take of relationships of all kinds. It resonates deeply and feels very timely not only in my personal life as I manage changing relationships with both friends and family in my 30s, but also in today's world. We need each other and it's okay to need each other, and we can be intentional about the levels of dependency we create with one another. I hurtled through this book and already feel like I could use a second read. I can see this being a book I turn to time and time again, just like Nedra's previous books, when I need some direct and thoughtful advice for building and sustaining loving, healthy relationships. I received an advance copy of this book and all opinions are my own.
February 10, 2026
This book is clear, compassionate, and refreshingly easy to read. The language is accessible without feeling watered down, making it especially helpful for readers who don’t have a background in therapy but want straightforward information to improve their relationships. Glover breaks down complex emotional dynamics into practical, understandable insights that feel immediately applicable to real life. Rather than overwhelming the reader, the book feels grounding and empowering. It offers clarity, reassurance, and concrete tools for building healthier boundaries and more balanced connections. A great entry point for anyone seeking personal growth without the intimidation of “therapy speak."
February 12, 2026
Nedra has done it again! She has done a great job in educating the reader about our own traits that interfere with healthy connection. The questions at the end of each chapter support insight into our own patterns and ways to strengthen skills to build healthy relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.
February 16, 2026
I feel like this book served as a great overview for (co)dependency. I love Nedra’s books and they’re easy to digest, get through and understand. I was hoping and needing it to be more in depth and it didn’t resonated how I was hoping it would but that’s my personal experience. Overall it’s a great book to read and refer back to.
February 17, 2026
I have enjoyed all of her books so far. They give encouragement, direction, and helpful information. I especially enjoyed the portion where she mentioned the importance of not diagnosing people based on your experiences with them as people can act differently around others.
February 18, 2026
She writes the same things over and over again.
February 18, 2026
4.5 stars
February 19, 2026
"Set Boundaries, Find Peace"
"Drama Free"
and now "The Balancing Act" are all fantastic books. I utilized audiobooks read by the author for all 3. Highly recommend!!
"Drama Free"
and now "The Balancing Act" are all fantastic books. I utilized audiobooks read by the author for all 3. Highly recommend!!
February 13, 2026
A clear, compassionate, and insightful guide on creating healthy relationships. It teaches us to lean on others without losing ourselves, showing that boundaries are not barriers but pathways to deeper, more authentic connections.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews