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In Sickness and in Health: Love Stories from the Front Lines of America’s Caregiving Crisis
An urgent and deeply affecting account of America's failure to provide meaningful support to its chronically ill and disabled citizens and our resulting reliance on the unpaid caregiving labor of spouses and intimate partners.
When twenty-seven-year-old Laura Mauldin moved to New York for graduate school, she fell headlong into love. But just months into the relationship, her partner’s leukemia returned—and in a country without adequate systems for long-term care, Laura found herself quietly and devastatingly transformed from romantic partner to unpaid, full-time caregiver, fighting to keep the woman she loved alive in a system designed to let them both fall through the cracks.
Now a sociologist and professor of disability studies, Dr. Mauldin turns her private pain into a searing public investigation. To better understand her own experience, she speaks with couples across the country navigating the brutal, lonely fallout of chronic illness and disability. These are heartbreaking stories of love under strain — relationships full of extraordinary intimacy and resilience, but pushed to the edge by an ableist society that would rather look away from its most vulnerable citizens. At the heart of this investigation is a profound series of questions: What if love isn’t enough? What if our most cherished romantic ideals—commitment, sacrifice, “in sickness and in health” — have been weaponized to excuse the state from its responsibilities? And what happens to love when we ask it to do the work of an entire broken system?
Urgent, unflinching, and full of grace, In Sickness and In Health is a rallying cry for a radical reimagining of care—not as an individual act of devotion, but as a collective responsibility. In connecting the care crisis to the politics of love and intimacy, Mauldin reframes the conversation, urging us to build a world where no one is left to do the work of love alone.
When twenty-seven-year-old Laura Mauldin moved to New York for graduate school, she fell headlong into love. But just months into the relationship, her partner’s leukemia returned—and in a country without adequate systems for long-term care, Laura found herself quietly and devastatingly transformed from romantic partner to unpaid, full-time caregiver, fighting to keep the woman she loved alive in a system designed to let them both fall through the cracks.
Now a sociologist and professor of disability studies, Dr. Mauldin turns her private pain into a searing public investigation. To better understand her own experience, she speaks with couples across the country navigating the brutal, lonely fallout of chronic illness and disability. These are heartbreaking stories of love under strain — relationships full of extraordinary intimacy and resilience, but pushed to the edge by an ableist society that would rather look away from its most vulnerable citizens. At the heart of this investigation is a profound series of questions: What if love isn’t enough? What if our most cherished romantic ideals—commitment, sacrifice, “in sickness and in health” — have been weaponized to excuse the state from its responsibilities? And what happens to love when we ask it to do the work of an entire broken system?
Urgent, unflinching, and full of grace, In Sickness and In Health is a rallying cry for a radical reimagining of care—not as an individual act of devotion, but as a collective responsibility. In connecting the care crisis to the politics of love and intimacy, Mauldin reframes the conversation, urging us to build a world where no one is left to do the work of love alone.
272 pages, Hardcover
Published February 10, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
February 14, 2026
This book was fine. It didn't hit me deeply emotionally nor did it blow my mind with stats and insights into the world of caregiving. I think it was maybe trying to do a little of both. I did learn things and I did feel for the caregivers and those being cared for. I appreciated that Mauldin shows the extent that caregiving takes over ones life and that the system is bullshit. There were moments (on race and disability) where I think Mauldin did her best but didn't fully capture the nuances.
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February 18, 2026Long term disabilities impact not just the individual suffering but “the one” who will become in charge of all the background logistics. Booking appointments, administrating medications, many spouses are eager to help the ones they love but as the years pass, it is clear our healthcare system is failing everyone when it comes to long term support.
And if this situation isn’t applicable to you currently, as people age they assume there are systems in place that help individuals live at home until the end. The reality is most people will not be able to afford mobile healthcare allowing them to live comfortably so what takes place instead is an increased pressure to close relationships when romantic partners or children are turned to caregivers.
An in depth, well researched, personal account on how hard it is to maintain personal relationships when the stress of care overwhelms all involved. I really felt for the individuals interviewed. As someone who works in the healthcare system, I find it interesting to learn how other facets operate and what challenges other areas face.
And if this situation isn’t applicable to you currently, as people age they assume there are systems in place that help individuals live at home until the end. The reality is most people will not be able to afford mobile healthcare allowing them to live comfortably so what takes place instead is an increased pressure to close relationships when romantic partners or children are turned to caregivers.
An in depth, well researched, personal account on how hard it is to maintain personal relationships when the stress of care overwhelms all involved. I really felt for the individuals interviewed. As someone who works in the healthcare system, I find it interesting to learn how other facets operate and what challenges other areas face.
March 1, 2026
Unfortunately, this book did not resonate with me.
As a parent of a disabled child and as someone who has walked alongside friends and family members through hospice, I found myself struggling with the author’s perspective. Caregiving is brutally hard — emotionally, physically, spiritually. But if someone finds themselves unable to show up without resentment, then it may be kinder for everyone involved to step aside or seek support rather than allow that bitterness to dominate the experience.
Terminal illness is not a choice. Loss of independence is not a choice. And in many ways, it is far more devastating for the person living with the illness than for the person providing care. That imbalance felt underacknowledged here.
The broader issue of a healthcare system that fails families is a separate — and very real — conversation. After more than 30 years working in healthcare in a rural community with limited hospice and home health access (including agencies with active waiting lists), I can say firsthand that providers are often doing the very best they can within a deeply strained system.
I sincerely hope that meaningful improvements come to our healthcare infrastructure. Sooner or later, every one of us will depend on it.
Thank you to #NetGalley and #HarperAudio for the ARC.
As a parent of a disabled child and as someone who has walked alongside friends and family members through hospice, I found myself struggling with the author’s perspective. Caregiving is brutally hard — emotionally, physically, spiritually. But if someone finds themselves unable to show up without resentment, then it may be kinder for everyone involved to step aside or seek support rather than allow that bitterness to dominate the experience.
Terminal illness is not a choice. Loss of independence is not a choice. And in many ways, it is far more devastating for the person living with the illness than for the person providing care. That imbalance felt underacknowledged here.
The broader issue of a healthcare system that fails families is a separate — and very real — conversation. After more than 30 years working in healthcare in a rural community with limited hospice and home health access (including agencies with active waiting lists), I can say firsthand that providers are often doing the very best they can within a deeply strained system.
I sincerely hope that meaningful improvements come to our healthcare infrastructure. Sooner or later, every one of us will depend on it.
Thank you to #NetGalley and #HarperAudio for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
Because this is a pre-publication review, I want to be thoughtful and thorough. This is a topic that is very close to my own life, and I was eager to hear the voices of others who have walked through similar situations.
Mauldin's book is clearly an outworking of both her own personal experiences (as a caregiver to a girlfriend with leukemia) and as an academic in the field of social studies (social work? social justice?) and disability studies. Unfortunately, I don't think those dual roles serve the book well. If Mauldin had written a memoir and focused on her own story, or if she hadn't personally walked through the subject she was studying and could separate her interviewee's lives from her own experience, the book--either iteration--would have been much stronger. As it is, it seems pretty clear that Mauldin is attempting to work through her own trauma and guilt, and she can only see other caregivers' stories through the lens of her own experience.
It's a book that is heavy on feelings and outrage and ivory tower academic identity politics, and is happy to ignore its own inconsistencies or any facts that don't fit the narrative that the author seems compelled to create as a way of coping with her own guilt.
Ultimately, I found myself disappointed. This was not the book I was hoping for--one that would say, "You in the trenches of caregiving and illness--I see you. You are not alone. Be encouraged, even in terrible hardship." Instead, it left a lingering despair and a bitter finger-pointing in its wake. It is understandable, and I do want to extend compassion to Mauldin, who (spoiler) can't seem to forgive herself for abandoning her girlfriend at the end of her life and leaving her alone to die. She is honest with the fact that she is still crushed under the guilt of that decision, so it makes sense that she is desperate to blame anyone else. But that desperation clearly impacts her ability as a researcher to take a step back and look at the broader picture with clarity and accuracy.
It is possible that there are those who are in the caregiving trenches who would find this book helpful--again, it's very heavy on feelings, and sometimes, it seems, Big Feelings are what readers want out of a book. But it's not one that I would recommend. I hope that Mauldin found some measure of comfort through the process of writing the book, and will be able to find true healing.
(And, a very small note that will hopefully be corrected in the final publication--in one section Mauldin mixed up the alias of one of her subjects, and he is referred to by two different names, which led to a very confusing couple minutes as I flipped back and forth trying to decide if there were two men or three in the relationship.)
Mauldin's book is clearly an outworking of both her own personal experiences (as a caregiver to a girlfriend with leukemia) and as an academic in the field of social studies (social work? social justice?) and disability studies. Unfortunately, I don't think those dual roles serve the book well. If Mauldin had written a memoir and focused on her own story, or if she hadn't personally walked through the subject she was studying and could separate her interviewee's lives from her own experience, the book--either iteration--would have been much stronger. As it is, it seems pretty clear that Mauldin is attempting to work through her own trauma and guilt, and she can only see other caregivers' stories through the lens of her own experience.
It's a book that is heavy on feelings and outrage and ivory tower academic identity politics, and is happy to ignore its own inconsistencies or any facts that don't fit the narrative that the author seems compelled to create as a way of coping with her own guilt.
Ultimately, I found myself disappointed. This was not the book I was hoping for--one that would say, "You in the trenches of caregiving and illness--I see you. You are not alone. Be encouraged, even in terrible hardship." Instead, it left a lingering despair and a bitter finger-pointing in its wake. It is understandable, and I do want to extend compassion to Mauldin, who (spoiler) can't seem to forgive herself for abandoning her girlfriend at the end of her life and leaving her alone to die. She is honest with the fact that she is still crushed under the guilt of that decision, so it makes sense that she is desperate to blame anyone else. But that desperation clearly impacts her ability as a researcher to take a step back and look at the broader picture with clarity and accuracy.
It is possible that there are those who are in the caregiving trenches who would find this book helpful--again, it's very heavy on feelings, and sometimes, it seems, Big Feelings are what readers want out of a book. But it's not one that I would recommend. I hope that Mauldin found some measure of comfort through the process of writing the book, and will be able to find true healing.
(And, a very small note that will hopefully be corrected in the final publication--in one section Mauldin mixed up the alias of one of her subjects, and he is referred to by two different names, which led to a very confusing couple minutes as I flipped back and forth trying to decide if there were two men or three in the relationship.)
March 16, 2026
In Sickness and in Health: Love Stories from the Front Lines of America’s Caregiving Crisis by Laura Mauldin is a powerful and deeply human exploration of caregiving, disability, and the systems that shape both. Through research and the honest, personal stories of spouses who are or have been caregivers for their partners, the book illustrates how caregiving exists at the intersection of policy, culture, love, and lived experience. Mauldin also shares her own experience as a caregiver to her partner during cancer, which adds another layer of insight and reflection to the narrative. The vulnerability and openness of these stories add an emotional depth that humanizes the broader issues.
One of the most impactful aspects of the book is how clearly it addresses ableism and the broader social structures that shape disability. As Mauldin writes, “If we don't see disability as a complex and deeply social experience and talk directly to disabled people about their experiences, including how they experience needing and receiving care, we are contributing to the erasure of disabled people from public life.” The book also explores difficult realities within the healthcare system, such as “Medicaid divorce,” where couples must legally separate in order to qualify for services, captured in the painful phrase “divorce is for our future.”
The discussion of caregiving labor was equally striking. Home health jobs are among the lowest paid and have extremely high turnover rates (77% in 2022), despite being one of the fastest growing professions. At the same time, the book challenges the shame and stigma often attached to bodily care. We all have bodies with needs, and needing help does not diminish a person’s dignity. The ableist mindset that suggests “if you ever have to help me with that, just put me out of my misery” ignores the fundamental truth that caring for our bodies is part of being alive.
It is also worth noting that this book focuses specifically on spousal or partner caregiving. Readers who are looking to connect around caregiving but have different relationships to the person they care for may not find this book to be as personally impactful.
Ultimately, this book is a reminder that people deserve care, support, and relief from doing it all alone. As Mauldin so poignantly states, “internalized ableism syphons off our capacity to sustainably love one another because it makes us feel ashamed of what we need.”
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
One of the most impactful aspects of the book is how clearly it addresses ableism and the broader social structures that shape disability. As Mauldin writes, “If we don't see disability as a complex and deeply social experience and talk directly to disabled people about their experiences, including how they experience needing and receiving care, we are contributing to the erasure of disabled people from public life.” The book also explores difficult realities within the healthcare system, such as “Medicaid divorce,” where couples must legally separate in order to qualify for services, captured in the painful phrase “divorce is for our future.”
The discussion of caregiving labor was equally striking. Home health jobs are among the lowest paid and have extremely high turnover rates (77% in 2022), despite being one of the fastest growing professions. At the same time, the book challenges the shame and stigma often attached to bodily care. We all have bodies with needs, and needing help does not diminish a person’s dignity. The ableist mindset that suggests “if you ever have to help me with that, just put me out of my misery” ignores the fundamental truth that caring for our bodies is part of being alive.
It is also worth noting that this book focuses specifically on spousal or partner caregiving. Readers who are looking to connect around caregiving but have different relationships to the person they care for may not find this book to be as personally impactful.
Ultimately, this book is a reminder that people deserve care, support, and relief from doing it all alone. As Mauldin so poignantly states, “internalized ableism syphons off our capacity to sustainably love one another because it makes us feel ashamed of what we need.”
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
April 1, 2026
n Sickness and In Health~~~~
The devastating, early twentieth-century belief in eugenics and the entrenched belief in ableism, not only in American society, but in our own minds, has never really abated, but still exert their discriminating influence on America's lack of infrastructure and support, especially, for their married citizens who need long-term medical care, Spouses are suddenly responsible for their partner when they get out of the hospital or rehab and are barely trained to care for them, not only physically for chronic or worsening health conditions, but also emotionally for both of them.
Laura Mauldin, author of In Sickness and in Health, witnessed this caregiving problem when her partner's leukemia came back and Mauldin had to take care of her until she died five years later. It was a traumatic experience for her and her partner. Mauldin kept a journal, but when she read it after her partner's death, she couldn't remember most of it. She had disassociated to try to remain sane, to survive.
Spouses are given the caregiving role, becoming “the one” for their dependent partner, as if it's their sole responsibility, but it should not be. Spouses feel guilty if they don't care for their partner's every physical need, usually with little time for themselves or their paying jobs.
Mauldin argues that America still sees disabled people as inferior and so governments don't spend much money on creating a care infrastructure for them.
She also contends that America is very much an able-bodied society that is set up for them to succeed and flourish, but not people with disabilities. This discrimination makes the disabled invisible to many people so that the disabled or, preferably, non-abled often feel guilty for being a burden to society. Mauldin says they are not the burden, but our society's discrimination has failed them.
I agree. Mauldin sadly wasn't in the hospital when her partner died because her partner hated her for bringing in help in her final weeks. Her partner couldn't or wouldn't understand that Mauldin couldn't do everything for her anymore.
Bringing attention to America's ongoing failure with caring for its most vulnerable citizens is one reason why she wrote the book, but another is to show how traumatic and horrifying it can be for spouses who feel like failures no matter how hard they try. Mauldin interviewed forty couples and included a few for her book, relating to them only too well.
Mauldin is a sociologist and professor of disability studies.
Highly recommended!
The devastating, early twentieth-century belief in eugenics and the entrenched belief in ableism, not only in American society, but in our own minds, has never really abated, but still exert their discriminating influence on America's lack of infrastructure and support, especially, for their married citizens who need long-term medical care, Spouses are suddenly responsible for their partner when they get out of the hospital or rehab and are barely trained to care for them, not only physically for chronic or worsening health conditions, but also emotionally for both of them.
Laura Mauldin, author of In Sickness and in Health, witnessed this caregiving problem when her partner's leukemia came back and Mauldin had to take care of her until she died five years later. It was a traumatic experience for her and her partner. Mauldin kept a journal, but when she read it after her partner's death, she couldn't remember most of it. She had disassociated to try to remain sane, to survive.
Spouses are given the caregiving role, becoming “the one” for their dependent partner, as if it's their sole responsibility, but it should not be. Spouses feel guilty if they don't care for their partner's every physical need, usually with little time for themselves or their paying jobs.
Mauldin argues that America still sees disabled people as inferior and so governments don't spend much money on creating a care infrastructure for them.
She also contends that America is very much an able-bodied society that is set up for them to succeed and flourish, but not people with disabilities. This discrimination makes the disabled invisible to many people so that the disabled or, preferably, non-abled often feel guilty for being a burden to society. Mauldin says they are not the burden, but our society's discrimination has failed them.
I agree. Mauldin sadly wasn't in the hospital when her partner died because her partner hated her for bringing in help in her final weeks. Her partner couldn't or wouldn't understand that Mauldin couldn't do everything for her anymore.
Bringing attention to America's ongoing failure with caring for its most vulnerable citizens is one reason why she wrote the book, but another is to show how traumatic and horrifying it can be for spouses who feel like failures no matter how hard they try. Mauldin interviewed forty couples and included a few for her book, relating to them only too well.
Mauldin is a sociologist and professor of disability studies.
Highly recommended!
February 20, 2026
I wish I could get everyone in the United States to read this book with an open mind and heart. Sociologist and professor of disability studies Dr. Laura Mauldin skillfully combines her own personal story of caring for a romantic partner with leukemia, the stories of other couples she has interviewed regarding how disability has affected them, and brief interjections of her academic analysis of rampant ableism in our society and how woefully insufficient the social safety net is in the United States. She touches on how disability is complicated by lack of financial resources and intersectional identities such as gender, race, and sexual orientation. The epilogue was so touching, I had tears streaming down my face as I listened.
This is an emotionally difficult but important read. So many of us are or someday will be disabled, and our society needs to do better meeting the needs of disabled people and their families. For those whose lives haven’t yet been affected by disability, this should be a much-needed wakeup call. For those who are currently disabled or caring for someone who is, this book provides validation of the difficult feelings we experience as we struggle to meet our needs in a system that is stacked against us. In the conclusion, she also discusses the idea of care networks, which is something we can do for ourselves without waiting for aid from the government.
The author narrated this book herself, and she did well. She’s easy to understand, has a pleasant voice and comfortable pace, and is appropriately emotive. Most of the production was good, although there was one error where she changed a person’s name after starting that chapter with a different name; perhaps that’s been corrected in the final version.
I received a free advanced review copy of the audiobook through NetGalley. I volunteered to provide an honest review.
This is an emotionally difficult but important read. So many of us are or someday will be disabled, and our society needs to do better meeting the needs of disabled people and their families. For those whose lives haven’t yet been affected by disability, this should be a much-needed wakeup call. For those who are currently disabled or caring for someone who is, this book provides validation of the difficult feelings we experience as we struggle to meet our needs in a system that is stacked against us. In the conclusion, she also discusses the idea of care networks, which is something we can do for ourselves without waiting for aid from the government.
The author narrated this book herself, and she did well. She’s easy to understand, has a pleasant voice and comfortable pace, and is appropriately emotive. Most of the production was good, although there was one error where she changed a person’s name after starting that chapter with a different name; perhaps that’s been corrected in the final version.
I received a free advanced review copy of the audiobook through NetGalley. I volunteered to provide an honest review.
March 11, 2026
3.5⭐️
Thank you to HarperAudio, Laura Mauldin, and NetGalley for a chance to preview this title which released on February 10, 2025.
As with all memoirs, I will not be rating the content because who am I to judge someone's experience. This was rated based on the book writing and audiobook features.
Our healthcare system is broken but this book focused on the disability side of healthcare, how there are few safety nets, and the paths to those nets are often difficult, if not impossible, to traverse. The author used her own experience being a caregiver to her partner who was dying of leukemia, as well as testimony of other couples of varying ages, relationships, and disabilities. What struck me in this book is how often the author mentioned something, like home healthcare, and while I had heard of it, I did not give it much thought. Further, her discussion on how society views people with disabilities stems back to the age of eugenics absolutely stunned me.
Overall, however, the writing felt disjointed and the audience was often jarred into a new topic, with a lengthy backstory of a new couple, that did not always give a "where are they now" ending. That being said, the topics were prevalent and something that everyone has had contact with, either directly or indirectly. Further, the narrator was the author and it, more often than not, felt that she was reading instead of talking to the listener.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone who has been a caregiver or will be one.
Thank you to HarperAudio, Laura Mauldin, and NetGalley for a chance to preview this title which released on February 10, 2025.
As with all memoirs, I will not be rating the content because who am I to judge someone's experience. This was rated based on the book writing and audiobook features.
Our healthcare system is broken but this book focused on the disability side of healthcare, how there are few safety nets, and the paths to those nets are often difficult, if not impossible, to traverse. The author used her own experience being a caregiver to her partner who was dying of leukemia, as well as testimony of other couples of varying ages, relationships, and disabilities. What struck me in this book is how often the author mentioned something, like home healthcare, and while I had heard of it, I did not give it much thought. Further, her discussion on how society views people with disabilities stems back to the age of eugenics absolutely stunned me.
Overall, however, the writing felt disjointed and the audience was often jarred into a new topic, with a lengthy backstory of a new couple, that did not always give a "where are they now" ending. That being said, the topics were prevalent and something that everyone has had contact with, either directly or indirectly. Further, the narrator was the author and it, more often than not, felt that she was reading instead of talking to the listener.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone who has been a caregiver or will be one.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
This book hit me hard in the best and most necessary way. In Sickness and In Health puts words to an experience so many families live through in isolation, without guidance, support, or even acknowledgment. Reading it, I kept thinking about my dad and what he went through caring for my mom. For several years, it was a brutal life for both of them physically, emotionally, and financially. He needed support he never got, and no one teaches you how to care for a loved one when the circumstances are truly dire.
Laura Mauldin’s writing is compassionate, clear-eyed, and deeply humane. She shows how love can be incredibly strong and still be pushed past its limits by a system that relies on unpaid caregivers to fill massive gaps in care. This isn’t just a personal story. It’s an urgent examination of how our society fails chronically ill and disabled people and the partners who step in because there is no other choice.
What makes this book so powerful is that it validates the loneliness, exhaustion, and quiet grief that caregivers often carry while also calling for something bigger and better. It made me feel seen, and it made me angry in the right way. I wish this book had existed years ago for my dad, but I’m grateful it exists now. It’s essential reading for anyone who has cared for someone they love or who wants to understand the true cost of our broken care system.
Heartfelt thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy.
Laura Mauldin’s writing is compassionate, clear-eyed, and deeply humane. She shows how love can be incredibly strong and still be pushed past its limits by a system that relies on unpaid caregivers to fill massive gaps in care. This isn’t just a personal story. It’s an urgent examination of how our society fails chronically ill and disabled people and the partners who step in because there is no other choice.
What makes this book so powerful is that it validates the loneliness, exhaustion, and quiet grief that caregivers often carry while also calling for something bigger and better. It made me feel seen, and it made me angry in the right way. I wish this book had existed years ago for my dad, but I’m grateful it exists now. It’s essential reading for anyone who has cared for someone they love or who wants to understand the true cost of our broken care system.
Heartfelt thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
A devastating read. If you are a caregiver for someone who is disabled or chronically ill, be forewarned that reading this book, no matter how poignant and relevant it may be, might leave you feeling worse about your status in life, rather than better. The book is told through the eyes of those who are suffering with chronic disease and disability, and how their lives look drastically different from the lives that they had originally envisioned for themselves. At the same time, we are provided the stories of those who are doing the caregiving, and the physical, emotional, and financial toll that it places on each of them. The author also shares her firsthand knowledge of caring for her own partner who also had a longterm and debilitating illness. Also addressed in the book is what the author perceives as the reasons for the pervasive failure of care in the government specifically, and the culture at large, and what she sees as a way to improve what is clearly a dire situation in our healthcare system. I disagree with both her assumptions and her solutions, but I applaud her desire to open up the conversation. We should all weigh in and contribute to ways that we all can, and should, help when we someone struggling under the weight of caring for a loved one. ** I was provided an ARC by the publisher, but all views are my own.
February 18, 2026
In Sickness and in Health was published 02/10/2026 and I received a copy from Netgalley in exchange for my review.
The parts of this book that hit me the hardest were the first couple of chapters, where Laura writes about meeting and falling in love with her wife before she got sick again. The early times where their relationship was not centered around their caregiving relationship.
The story is told through the lens of both those who are living with chronic disease and disability and that of their caregivers, with both of them expressing a range of emotions around their lives not looking the way that they thought they would.
Mauldins writing style was vulnerable but also tactical. There are sections that deal with the complexities of getting care in the United States and how the system continues to fail those that rely on it, balanced with heartbreaking tales of self preservation and the isolation of continued care.
I think this is a hard read for those who are in the caregiver role, but may help you feel less alone.
3.5 stars.
The parts of this book that hit me the hardest were the first couple of chapters, where Laura writes about meeting and falling in love with her wife before she got sick again. The early times where their relationship was not centered around their caregiving relationship.
The story is told through the lens of both those who are living with chronic disease and disability and that of their caregivers, with both of them expressing a range of emotions around their lives not looking the way that they thought they would.
Mauldins writing style was vulnerable but also tactical. There are sections that deal with the complexities of getting care in the United States and how the system continues to fail those that rely on it, balanced with heartbreaking tales of self preservation and the isolation of continued care.
I think this is a hard read for those who are in the caregiver role, but may help you feel less alone.
3.5 stars.
March 19, 2026
This book was a non fiction about care keepers in America. About how the shift has gone from institutional to in home care. But who can afford it? And who winds up doing the bulk of the care? Family and spouses.
In this book the author interviews and overviews 4 different caregiver scenarios, and mentions the challenges of her own with her own partner. It really highlighted the deficits of our healthcare system when it comes to affordable healthcare in the home. It touched on the toll that caregiving can take on the one who is spending their energy doing so, often while trying to work a full time job and do all of the cleaning, errands, shopping, and appointments.
I found this really interesting and one of those things that no one really talks about. But when we do, we support one another and provide stress relief by knowing others are in our shoes. It calls for healthcare reform and better options for help, financially, emotionally, and socially. Kudos to the author for bringing this subject to the light and discussing it so honestly.
In this book the author interviews and overviews 4 different caregiver scenarios, and mentions the challenges of her own with her own partner. It really highlighted the deficits of our healthcare system when it comes to affordable healthcare in the home. It touched on the toll that caregiving can take on the one who is spending their energy doing so, often while trying to work a full time job and do all of the cleaning, errands, shopping, and appointments.
I found this really interesting and one of those things that no one really talks about. But when we do, we support one another and provide stress relief by knowing others are in our shoes. It calls for healthcare reform and better options for help, financially, emotionally, and socially. Kudos to the author for bringing this subject to the light and discussing it so honestly.
February 21, 2026
What a heavy yet necessary book. I once read a book with the subtitle "A primer, a memoir, a manual, a plea" and I feel like something similar would encapsulate this book well. While this book focuses it's narrative on the caregiving crisis in the U.S. around the details of individual stories from couples in caregiving situations, it also weaves in the author's personal caregiving story, the history and policies of disability rights in the U.S., and nuanced explorations of the societal pressures we place on these relationships. The whole book feels like a plea for understanding and support, both for those in need of caregiving and for the caregivers themselves. For those who have not found themselves close to this type of situation yet (like me), this book really makes you examine what you think you know about disability supports, what it means to combine caregiving with partnership/marriage, and how we as a society are so willing to leave folks behind.
February 18, 2026
I am a physical therapist who works with older adults and hold a PhD in geriatric rehabilitation.
When you are working with older adults (or maybe this will be in line with a personal experience), you are interacting with families who are caregivers and are trying to do the best they can for their loved ones.
The burden is immense.
This new book by Laura Mauldin blends the science of caregiving and understanding of the pitfalls of government supports with the emotional and very real stories of caregivers who share their experiences.
As a clinician, understanding what the lived experience of caregivers is incredibly important. Adding more to their plate can feel like an immense pressure. I hope that for many caregivers, this makes them feel seen and understood.
I would recommend this new book - thank you for sharing these stories with me
When you are working with older adults (or maybe this will be in line with a personal experience), you are interacting with families who are caregivers and are trying to do the best they can for their loved ones.
The burden is immense.
This new book by Laura Mauldin blends the science of caregiving and understanding of the pitfalls of government supports with the emotional and very real stories of caregivers who share their experiences.
As a clinician, understanding what the lived experience of caregivers is incredibly important. Adding more to their plate can feel like an immense pressure. I hope that for many caregivers, this makes them feel seen and understood.
I would recommend this new book - thank you for sharing these stories with me
March 6, 2026
2 1/2 stars. Listen to the audiobook. Narration was very good. Having been in the healthcare/insurance field for many, many years and also being the caregiver of a spouse with cancer. I didn’t find this book to be all that it could have been. I felt like she tried to cover too much without going deep enough into the important issues. Many times it felt like I was in a class being lectured on insurance and disability statistics. Other times, I felt the author totally missed the mark on the depth of the caregivers emotions and extreme life changes. (There was an exception regarding the couple where the husband struggled about wanting a divorce yet the wife seems selfish in keeping him there for her own needs). Also, the author is adamant that there isn’t fraud in disability because only one percent is uncovered, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
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March 8, 2026This is an important topic, and Maudlin largely covers it well, through both a personal (her own experience, the stories of other caregivers she interviewed) and a societal lens. There’s not really any solution, or at least any easy solution, proposed here. But I don’t think that’s the goal—I viewed this mostly as a book trying to make caregivers seen.
My heart broke for her at the end, when she revealed her partner was so adamantly against outside help when Maudlin reached her limit that it broke them, and that after all her care, Maudlin wasn’t there when her partner died.
I’m not quite sure how to rate this, because while I appreciated much of this book, there were enough individual moments where something—tone, lack of transparency, how subjects’ disabilities were described—struck me as a bit off.
My heart broke for her at the end, when she revealed her partner was so adamantly against outside help when Maudlin reached her limit that it broke them, and that after all her care, Maudlin wasn’t there when her partner died.
I’m not quite sure how to rate this, because while I appreciated much of this book, there were enough individual moments where something—tone, lack of transparency, how subjects’ disabilities were described—struck me as a bit off.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 6, 2026
This book began strong and was an important read overall, even though I think it would've been stronger as a specific focus on the author's relationship. I understood the purpose of using different stories to better convey the problems of ableism, showcase other types of relationships between partners, but it also seemed to split the writing into two different levels and really broke up the flow of the book.
Overall, I'm very glad I found this book and read it. It still gives great insight into the hardships of caregiving, how the system works (or rather, doesn't work), and is a good read to bring understanding, ensure caregivers and those who are disabled don't feel so alone, and also educate.
Overall, I'm very glad I found this book and read it. It still gives great insight into the hardships of caregiving, how the system works (or rather, doesn't work), and is a good read to bring understanding, ensure caregivers and those who are disabled don't feel so alone, and also educate.
February 24, 2026
The phrase that stuck with me from this book is to shift perspective to noticing the generative aspect of disability as well as the challenging aspect. I really liked that Laura Mauldin augmented the written stories of couples in this book with a website featuring photos of DIY adaptations sent to her.
I also appreciated her critique of romantic love and her highlighting the importance of collective community care. Yes to Senior Centers, Support Groups, Adult Daycare Centers and Respite Grants for Caregivers.
I also appreciated her critique of romantic love and her highlighting the importance of collective community care. Yes to Senior Centers, Support Groups, Adult Daycare Centers and Respite Grants for Caregivers.
March 25, 2026
I think this book would be insightful for anyone who has no experience/has never known someone with a disability and their caregivers and the hurdles they face. As for everyone else...
The book I think would have either worked better as solely a memoir or solely as a text on the systemic failures here in America. Unfortunately, this book tried to be both.
While it didn't offer anything new, What this book did offer was some stories telling you that you aren't alone in however you choose to tackle this stage of life.
The book I think would have either worked better as solely a memoir or solely as a text on the systemic failures here in America. Unfortunately, this book tried to be both.
While it didn't offer anything new, What this book did offer was some stories telling you that you aren't alone in however you choose to tackle this stage of life.
March 23, 2026
Heartbreaking read. The healthcare system and the US gov are so utterly, totally broken and this shows up big time when folks have long-term, or sudden debilitating illnesses. The burden is on family, mostly women, to fill in the gaps with little to no help from the government. While we can spend $1 bil a day dropping bombs on Iran, we just cant seem to find the money to support families who need ongoing care. It's an indictment against our country.
March 2, 2026
I know the author personally and that relationship does not impact my review.
This book was incredible. I felt like someone took my hand and walked me through years and years of oral histories around ableism and caregiving in the United States. I would consider this to be an essential read for anyone in a helping profession as well as just in general.
This book was incredible. I felt like someone took my hand and walked me through years and years of oral histories around ableism and caregiving in the United States. I would consider this to be an essential read for anyone in a helping profession as well as just in general.
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December 19, 2025Thanks Ecco for the gifted ARC book.
Review to come.
Review to come.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
The book lacks appeal.
February 13, 2026
6⭐️
Shows the complexity of love in relationships that intersect with disability and care
Shows the complexity of love in relationships that intersect with disability and care
February 17, 2026
I want to think about this rating and review a bit longer.
April 9, 2026
This book points out how Important it is to understand the stress solo care givers endure.
April 12, 2026
Heartbreaking. And I loved hearing from all the people the author talked to.
March 27, 2026
This book is so so so good. Mainly discusses “spousal” caregiving in the US. Great inclusion of intersectional information and centering of queer black and brown care webs. I cried reading about memory, trauma, and how important sharing these stories can be. This care crisis is bad for everyone, and creates so much shame. Thank you so much to the author for writing and sharing. I’m better for having witnessed this awful history.
Thank you NetGalley!!!!! One of the best reads of the year so far.
Thank you NetGalley!!!!! One of the best reads of the year so far.
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