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Hospice Whispers: Stories of Life
When we fear death, we miss out on a lot of life. This book hopes to change that. While hospices care for persons in their final days, hospice is not about death. It’s all about LIFE—real, nitty-gritty, poignant, funny, challenging, and bittersweet life in all its beauty and imperfection. Those who have experienced hospice usually speak in reverential tones of this service and find themselves fearing death less because they have seen all the incredible life that happens until the final moment. But those unfamiliar with hospice often misunderstand and fear it, and the end of life. Through first-hand accounts that range from humorous to heart-wrenchingly honest, Carla shares the stories that continue to teach her the lessons of what it means to be truly present with ourselves and each other in this perfectly imperfect experience called life.
182 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 14, 2014
165 people are currently reading
101 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
October 15, 2017
A short book and quick read that uses brief vignettes to illustrate some key principles of providing hospice care. The principle audience is chaplains, but I feel it provides good, useful information for all professions, and probably even for lay people who may be looking for ways to support family or friends who are going through an end of life experience.
Thoughts:
• Snippets of science-based knowledge regarding the patient experience and abilities at end of life and through the progression of dementia and how physical changes can impact a person’s ability to perceive and process information and to communicate. Using that knowledge, we can look for ways to help people find peace and contentment at end of life. The focus can shift from what they can no longer really do as they decline physically and cognitively, but to what they can still do.
• Offers examples of practical tools and techniques to connect with patients and their families
• Reinforced over and over – we cannot presume to know what the patient and family need. We are not the experts on knowing what their end of life experience should look like. We must be respectful to the ethic of autonomy and dignity that we are called to honor. For some people, it’s physical closeness and prayer. For some, it’s popcorn and games of dominoes. For some, it’s watching TV shows that may include violence and explicit sexual content.
• Reminder that there may be family history and dynamics that we don’t know about, so do not make assumptions based on the information available to us. We cannot make judgements, determine who is right or wrong, make excuses, or take sides in conflicts. We can only use the information to “be more aware of how the grief process and medical care are being impacted by those patterns”.
• Reminder that we are not there to “fix”, only to provide support at end of life. Must develop the ability to just “be with ourselves”, not filling up the silence with noise and distractions, so that we can just “be” with our patients, and to “sit with compassionate equanimity” in the midst of another’s spiritual, emotional, or physical pain.
• Hospice workers must set boundaries and engage in self-care, and bring a healthy and full self to their work, not look to take self-fulfillment from the patients and families that they are there to help.
Quote: “Chaplain, if one more kind, loving, well-intentioned, good-hearted person tells me my momma is in a better place, I’m gonna slap the shit out of them!”… I took her hands and said, “On behalf of all the kind, loving, well-intentioned, good-hearted but misguided people who say stupid things, I am so sorry. And when you slap the shit out of them, tell them you have the chaplain’s permission to do so.”
Thoughts:
• Snippets of science-based knowledge regarding the patient experience and abilities at end of life and through the progression of dementia and how physical changes can impact a person’s ability to perceive and process information and to communicate. Using that knowledge, we can look for ways to help people find peace and contentment at end of life. The focus can shift from what they can no longer really do as they decline physically and cognitively, but to what they can still do.
• Offers examples of practical tools and techniques to connect with patients and their families
• Reinforced over and over – we cannot presume to know what the patient and family need. We are not the experts on knowing what their end of life experience should look like. We must be respectful to the ethic of autonomy and dignity that we are called to honor. For some people, it’s physical closeness and prayer. For some, it’s popcorn and games of dominoes. For some, it’s watching TV shows that may include violence and explicit sexual content.
• Reminder that there may be family history and dynamics that we don’t know about, so do not make assumptions based on the information available to us. We cannot make judgements, determine who is right or wrong, make excuses, or take sides in conflicts. We can only use the information to “be more aware of how the grief process and medical care are being impacted by those patterns”.
• Reminder that we are not there to “fix”, only to provide support at end of life. Must develop the ability to just “be with ourselves”, not filling up the silence with noise and distractions, so that we can just “be” with our patients, and to “sit with compassionate equanimity” in the midst of another’s spiritual, emotional, or physical pain.
• Hospice workers must set boundaries and engage in self-care, and bring a healthy and full self to their work, not look to take self-fulfillment from the patients and families that they are there to help.
Quote: “Chaplain, if one more kind, loving, well-intentioned, good-hearted person tells me my momma is in a better place, I’m gonna slap the shit out of them!”… I took her hands and said, “On behalf of all the kind, loving, well-intentioned, good-hearted but misguided people who say stupid things, I am so sorry. And when you slap the shit out of them, tell them you have the chaplain’s permission to do so.”
December 2, 2023
Excellent Resource!
This book is an excellent resource for healthcare chaplains and those exploring the call to healthcare Chaplaincy. Carla gives really good advice and insights into what it means to be a healthcare chaplain whose role is primarily dealing with death and dying. I recommend this book to anyone who is exploring or is a hospice chaplain or has an interest in healthcare Chaplaincy.
This book is an excellent resource for healthcare chaplains and those exploring the call to healthcare Chaplaincy. Carla gives really good advice and insights into what it means to be a healthcare chaplain whose role is primarily dealing with death and dying. I recommend this book to anyone who is exploring or is a hospice chaplain or has an interest in healthcare Chaplaincy.
March 11, 2025
great hospice chaplain book
This is a good Hospice Chaplain book. The challenge in our ministry is to be able to be present to the person and sensitive to their needs and what’s going on with them at that moment. It’s much easier to rush in and try or fix or try to cure or try to solve their problems for them. This takes away from their abilities to solve their own problems and come to terms with their own issues as they face death.
This is a good Hospice Chaplain book. The challenge in our ministry is to be able to be present to the person and sensitive to their needs and what’s going on with them at that moment. It’s much easier to rush in and try or fix or try to cure or try to solve their problems for them. This takes away from their abilities to solve their own problems and come to terms with their own issues as they face death.
July 25, 2018
I cried a few times
This book wasn't just an eye opener about death but also very real stories about people who met death on their own terms. Wished I had a do over button in some of stories
This book wasn't just an eye opener about death but also very real stories about people who met death on their own terms. Wished I had a do over button in some of stories
September 14, 2018
I love this book! You should read it. Check out my full review here-
http://teaandtheology.com/book-review...
http://teaandtheology.com/book-review...
September 12, 2021
Great book
Great book very well written. If you work in the health system you should read this book. I am a nurse and I learned a lot. Thank you.
Great book very well written. If you work in the health system you should read this book. I am a nurse and I learned a lot. Thank you.
February 7, 2017
Humility Truth Silence
So easy to offer solutions. So hard to sit and listen, to be truly present, to be patient and humble and have faith in the wisdom of us all. Good stories.
So easy to offer solutions. So hard to sit and listen, to be truly present, to be patient and humble and have faith in the wisdom of us all. Good stories.
March 3, 2016
This is a beautiful and inspiring book, full of wisdom from years of experience in this life-changing work. I was already in love with volunteering in hospice work before I read this book -- with hopes to eventually become a hospice chaplain one day -- but this book confirmed my path, and helped me know that I'm not crazy, like everyone I know seems to think I am! I highly recommend it to anyone working in this field.
December 23, 2022
Beautifully written with equal parts of respectful humor, examples of accepting people's beliefs and poignant memories of families' final moments with a dying loved one... I enjoyed this book tremendously. As a nurse, I related to so many of the stories and hope that I helped people connect with their dying loved ones in some capacity as recounted in this book. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give to the ones who go on living.
October 19, 2014
I found this book very helpful with how I approach/talk with my ageing parents - particularly the section on 'contemplation'. And, on top of teaching me something, this book was entertaining to read.
December 10, 2014
Wonderful!
Loved this book... maybe it's because I'm a hospice nurse or maybe it's because it's already inside me... It's a great read for anyone that works with the public, but especially for those who work in hospice.
Loved this book... maybe it's because I'm a hospice nurse or maybe it's because it's already inside me... It's a great read for anyone that works with the public, but especially for those who work in hospice.
June 19, 2016
Gave me a lot of insight as to how to be the best chaplain/bereavement coordinator I can be, when the joyful day comes that I can get back into that field. It boils down to listening, attentiveness, and knowing when to keep your mouth shut!
June 22, 2015
Honest reflections from a hospice chaplain.
August 3, 2016
Well written. Helpful in looking at hospice care from a new perspective.
April 18, 2017
I started reading this book last summer, when a dear friend sent me the Kindle version as a gift. It is well written and so empathic in tone, that readers will immediately sense what true hospice care is all about. When in the position of caregiving, I highly recommend this book for comfort and support.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews