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Do No Harm: Terms and Conditions Apply - Fast, funny sci fi comedy that knows how to hitchhike
A fast, funny satire in a space suit — featuring broken timelines, rogue AIs, and coffee-powered starships. For fans of Douglas Adams, Becky Chambers and Terry Pratchett.
Abigail Dennistoun is dead. At least, that’s what HR keeps telling her. Chad Blaster is a charming liability with a hold full of contraband and a raging chess problem. Jertsie Funt has a bomb, a manifesto, and impeccable posture. And Jade? Jade is trying to stitch the universe back together before reality comes apart at the seams.
Across the galaxy, peace talks are collapsing, timelines are leaking, and the warp drive is running on decaf. The universe, as usual, isn’t paying attention. It’ll muddle on — assuming no one breaks it, of course.
Do No Harm is a fast, funny, and quietly furious sci-fi comedy about what happens when nobody’s in charge — but someone still has to do the right thing.
Expect cosmic bureaucracy, sentient geology, emotionally damaged AIs, and several things exploding slightly earlier than planned.
Abigail Dennistoun is dead. At least, that’s what HR keeps telling her. Chad Blaster is a charming liability with a hold full of contraband and a raging chess problem. Jertsie Funt has a bomb, a manifesto, and impeccable posture. And Jade? Jade is trying to stitch the universe back together before reality comes apart at the seams.
Across the galaxy, peace talks are collapsing, timelines are leaking, and the warp drive is running on decaf. The universe, as usual, isn’t paying attention. It’ll muddle on — assuming no one breaks it, of course.
Do No Harm is a fast, funny, and quietly furious sci-fi comedy about what happens when nobody’s in charge — but someone still has to do the right thing.
Expect cosmic bureaucracy, sentient geology, emotionally damaged AIs, and several things exploding slightly earlier than planned.
- GenresScience Fiction
297 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 24, 2025
16 people are currently reading
1065 people want to read
About the author
C.N. Mortaygo
1 book5 followersC.N. Mortaygo studied History, Philosophy and ‘a whole bunch of other stuff’ at the University of Glasgow, leaving with a hastily photocopied certificate in hand before anyone could ask probing questions.
They returned, years later, to further their studies in 'Writing and shit' and did quite well — which they’re intolerably smug about.
Seriously, what a prick.
They live in South London with a large person, a small person, and an elderly cat. When not writing, they enjoy sitting quietly, reading, and working for a sinister multinational corporation.
Do No Harm is their debut novel.
They returned, years later, to further their studies in 'Writing and shit' and did quite well — which they’re intolerably smug about.
Seriously, what a prick.
They live in South London with a large person, a small person, and an elderly cat. When not writing, they enjoy sitting quietly, reading, and working for a sinister multinational corporation.
Do No Harm is their debut novel.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 26, 2025
Fast-paced and funny, this new sci-fi novel is an easy one to read and reminds me a bit of Douglas Adams. That said, I thought most of the characters were pretty superficial and/or had no purpose, the antagonist was over-the-top cliche and contrived, and I honestly don't know what the point of the story was. I think this was the novelists first effort, so three stars for some entertainment and witty, sarcastic humor.
(I received this novel on Kindle thanks to a Goodreads giveaway)
(I received this novel on Kindle thanks to a Goodreads giveaway)
July 15, 2025
Excellent
Great read... Just good fun.... No stupid blood and guts, death and destruction... Just good chuckles along the way. Enjoy!
Great read... Just good fun.... No stupid blood and guts, death and destruction... Just good chuckles along the way. Enjoy!
June 24, 2025
I couldn’t put this book down! It’s got a real energy to it - oddball, sarcastic, and also filled with emotion and heart. I found myself laughing out loud one minute and pausing to think the next. I don’t normally write reviews but I felt I had to for this book; I can’t remember the last time I read something so compelling. I wanted to race to the end and now I’m gutted it’s finished! I can’t recommend enough.
July 14, 2025
I won an e-copy from Goodreads.
Do No Harm was a fun and quirky sci-fi comedy. The plot kept me on my toes with each plot turn being completely unexpected. I really enjoyed the charaters of Abigail and Jade who are just trying to do their job which gets them on the path of this adventure. I did struggle a little with the 4th wall breaks which took me out of the story before having to get back into it, but overall, this was a fun, quick read.
Do No Harm was a fun and quirky sci-fi comedy. The plot kept me on my toes with each plot turn being completely unexpected. I really enjoyed the charaters of Abigail and Jade who are just trying to do their job which gets them on the path of this adventure. I did struggle a little with the 4th wall breaks which took me out of the story before having to get back into it, but overall, this was a fun, quick read.
August 4, 2025
Another great ARC!
This would probably be even better if you'd never heard of Douglas Adams. It's a good book, but I find myself thinking, "THERE are the Vogons. I've been wondering!" At least John Scalzi is up front.
This would probably be even better if you'd never heard of Douglas Adams. It's a good book, but I find myself thinking, "THERE are the Vogons. I've been wondering!" At least John Scalzi is up front.
August 19, 2025
Such a funny and fast paced read! I love a book that doesn't take itself seriously and also has a compelling story. I would love to see more!
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews