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412 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 29, 2022
“Fuck, I miss you. You’ve ruined me. Do it again.”
“Are you flirting with me?” I ask. Or at least I think I do.
His soft, single laugh surprises me. “For over a year now. Thanks for noticing.” He kisses next to my ear.
“Sometimes it feels like everyone else has a script, and I’m doing improv.”
“I promise to love you forever. Simple as that. My love will not always be perfect. I won’t always be kind; I won’t always be generous; I won’t always be rational—but I will love you every single day I have on this earth. And I will tell you I love you with my words and with my actions.”
“God, Lane, you’re going to eat me alive.” His hazy, flustered laugh is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.
“Problem?” I ask, tugging his lip between my teeth.
“No. Destroy me if you must.”
“I can't help the warm breeze of comfort that washes over me when Matt laughs. Every time I solicit one from him, it feels like winning a gold medal-and he hands them out frequently. Far more often than most.”
“Are you flirting with me?” I ask. Or at least I think I do.
His soft, single laugh surprises me. “For over a year now. Thanks for noticing.”
“I think of the string Rochester described to Jane, tethered to each other’s rib. That he felt like he was going to bleed out by having it ripped off him if she went too far. I didn’t understand that until you. Missing you is painful. Physical and real. Perhaps if I keep tugging on this invisible string, you’ll follow it home.
Yours, Matt.”
“So whenever I think of you, I inhale for a long ten seconds, soaking in the moment, and then exhale all my love for you out into the ether, hoping you’ll feel it somehow.”
“Fuck, I miss you. You’ve ruined me. Do it again.”