The Smart Stepfamily Marriage: Keys to Success in the Blended Family

by Ron L. Deal, David H. Olson, Evelyn Thompson (Foreword)

From bestselling author, speaker, and therapist Ron Deal, one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country.  
Part of Ron's Smart Stepfamily Series of books (over 250,000 copies sold) including The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom, The Smart Stepdad, Dating and the Single Parent, Daily Encouragement for the Smart Stepfamily, and The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning . 
Make This Marriage Last a Lifetime
Leading blended family authority Ron Deal and marriage and family expert David Olson show you how to build on your relationship strengths and improve your weaknesses. Whether you're dating, engaged, a young stepfamily, or an empty-nest couple, The Smart Stepfamily Marriage gives you the tools you need at any stage to create a remarriage that will last.

Each chapter of this book explores one of the key qualities of happy remarriages as identified by research. Like a GPS for your relationship, this book has built-in discussion questions that can help you and your partner discover where you are, where you'd like to be, and how to get there. The online survey gives you a report with personalized results for your relationship.

" The Smart Stepfamily Marriage is the road map to a healthy marriage."--Gary D. Chapman, PhD, author, The Five Love Languages and When Sorry Isn't Enough
"Remarried or marrying again? This book is loaded with specific, useful ideas for helping your marriage reach its full potential."--Scott Stanley, PhD, author, A Lasting Promise ; research professor, University of Denver

"This book is a must-read for any remarried couple. It includes the tools needed to create and maintain a wonderful remarriage."--from the foreword by Evelyn Husband Thompson, widow of Space Shuttle Columbia Commander Rick Husband, now remarried to Bill Thompson

" The Smart Stepfamily Marriage is the most up-to-date, relevant, complete guide for remarried couples--I know of no other resource like it."--Francesca Adler-Baeder, PhD, professor and director, Center for Children, Youth, and Families, Auburn University; director, National Stepfamily Resource Center

"This book will help you thrive in your marriage and beat the odds of divorce. The preventative information is the best I have ever seen, and the practical application covers it all. I have put The Smart Stepfamily Marriage at the top of my resource library for couples who find themselves in this beautiful and yet challenging world of remarriage."--Jim Burns, PhD, president, HomeWord, author of Creating an Intimate Marriage , Confident Parenting , and The Purity Code
"Remarriages have unique challenges and different relational needs than first marriages. Based on a national study of 50,000 couples, this book is a wonderful resource for remarriage couples. Take the online Couple Checkup and get a report about your relationship, read the book, and build a relationship that lasts!"--Dr. Gary Smalley, author of The DNA of Relationships
"You want a marriage that lasts forever, right? Blended family couples can beat the odds--this book will tell you how."--Dr. Dennis Rainey, president of FamilyLife, author of Stepping Up

Genres: Parenting, Family, Nonfiction, Marriage

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 12, 2015

Reviews

[Katie Novak · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book works through some of the key topics or remarriage and blending families. I thought it would be helpful in figuring out and understanding some of the battles involved in this process and help me understand some things to do and avoid.

A few of the topics addressed in the book include: Closeness and Flexibility, Children and Parenting, Personalities, Conflict and Finances.

Overall, I think the book gave me several good things to think about and keep in mind as we blend families with children. I did think it was a bit (honestly) negative at times and had me feeling like we are doomed from the start.

[Amergin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent methods on managing conflict in relationships, as well as how stepfamily dynamics differ from original family dynamics. I read this book wanting to learn how to date someone who has a child with his ex, so that I don't keep blundering around that relationship. (hint: that family may be altered by divorce, but it doesn't go away.) however, I thought the authors presented solid relationship techniques for any couple that might be in need of assistance. The book deftly straddles the line between the numbers and human function = "if you think this, you may be likely to act this way." If you are wanting to strengthen your relationship or know more about what you might expect, give this one a whirl. Minus one star for the spirituality chapter. Yes, spirituality is vital, and can make or break your relationship. But the tone of that chapter was drastically different from earlier, and I was not able to eagerly accept the sanctimonious tone. I'm not saying the chapter's advice is wrong or shouldn't be followed. Just a different flavor than the other chapters.

[Alexis Lackey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Smart StepFamily Marriage

This book is great if you need something that works well for a variety of clientele. I will say that it is a light and easier read. I wish that this book contained more depth and practicality for a practitioner. I think it would be a helpful book to use WITH blended families!

[Rob · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were definitely some nuggets of wisdom in there for sure. The author says you could benefit from the book even if you don’t do the couples assessment (not free) that accompanies the book and while that’s true, I think in reality the book isn’t worth reading unless you’re gonna take it.

[Caroline Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource for those who are considering re-marriage, or have taken the plunge with kids. Being a step parent is about the hardest thing I ever did. So wish I'd read this before I remarried.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was on my honeymoon, I read a book by Ron L. Deal, called The Smart Stepmom. It was co-written with Laura Petherbridge, and it illuminated a lot of things I hadn’t thought about before crossing the aisle to wedded bliss. I appreciate Ron L. Deal’s insight on stepfamilies. He’s a credible therapist with years of experience and success at helping families cope, as well as being a well known author on the topic of blending stepfamilies. Recently he’s co-written a book with David Olsen, founder of PREPARE/ENRICH, to give necessary tools to help couples who struggle as they try to merge preexisting families.

This new book can be added to his other successful works when it comes to pointing couples in the right direction and giving practical advice. This book comes equipped with some in-depth situations and solutions for those situations that normally wouldn’t have favorable outcomes. He also points readers to a tool created by David Olson, The Couple Checkup. If couples take the time to answer the questions truthfully, it can give a breakdown of healthy and unhealthy areas in their marriage that they can tackle together. The Couple Checkup is a report designed to address the following key areas: Communication, Conflict Resolution, Financial Management, Relationship Roles, Affection and Sexual Relationship, Couple Closeness and Flexibility, Family Closeness and Flexibility and Personality.

I recommend taking the test at any stage of your stepfamily duration. Once you know about yourself, and your spouse, you have some key areas to strategize over. Also, the book addresses many of these areas, to directly relate to the checkup. I think it’s a great resource for anyone who has chosen to remarry, marry someone with children, has questions about stepfamilies, is looking for meaningful resources to help with relational issues, and needs godly wisdom in seeking resolution. You will not be disappointed.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the Bethany House book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marriage requires effort and communication. And when marriage includes step-children, unique challenges may arise that must be overcome in order to maintain stable family dynamics. In The Smart Stepfamily Marriage, authors Ron L. Deal and David H. Olson discuss ways to approach problems to create a healthier family union.

This book is a gem, and the advice given to stepfamilies can be used for marriage and relationships in general. I liked how the authors point out that marriages need “check-ups.” Even if there aren’t major problems in a relationship, having regular discussions to check on the health of the relationship is a good idea. This would be a great book to read if you’re about to embark on the journey of a stepparent. And if you’ve been a stepparent for years, the book has a lot of great takeaway points. It would probably be a good tool in couple’s counseling.

Deal and Olson address how differing personalities and conflicting approaches to life effect marriage, and the text includes a lot of helpful discussion questions, quiz questions, charts, and graphs. I really liked the section where they compared what money can buy (i.e. flattery) to what money can’t buy (i.e. respect.) Throughout the book, the authors cite research studies and provide interesting statistics. The book also includes a code for a free individual profile at couplecheckup.com, which is handy.

I received a review copy from Bethany House.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Smart Stepfamily Marriage" offers practical advice on how to strengthen relationships and stepfamilies whether your newly dating, engaged, a young stepfamily or an empty nest couple. This book is for YOU! It gives plenty of tools and goes over various topics including communication, finances, conflict, spirituality and a variety of other important topics that are important to any marriage. This book has built in check points with pictures, graphs and questions that are super helpful and practical. This book is perfect for two individuals looking to blend their families together. It gives sound advice and helps both to look at potential weaknesses they may have, while building on their strengths. I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to build a strong stepfamily marriage. Thank you Bethany House for allowing me to review this book.