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Preparing for Adoption: Everything Adopting Parents Need to Know About Preparations, Introductions and the First Few Weeks
The ideal first book for prospective adopters.
When you decide to adopt a child, you might assume that all the important work begins when the child comes to live with you. In fact the preparation stage before is crucial in ensuring that the adopted child will arrive to a safe and secure family. Preparing for Adoption provides clear advice on how to prepare for you adoptive child and create a strong foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. Julia Davis explains how many different factors can shape preparations for adoption, such as finding out about your child's history and using this information to establish a family environment which will meet your child's specific attachment needs. There is also advice on how to prepare your home to create a sense of safety for your child and how to prepare your family to support you as adoptive parents.
Primarily for adopters, foster carers and professionals supporting adopters, this book offers ideas and strategies to help parents prepare a happy and settled home for children before their arrival and ways to parent them in the early days of becoming a family that addresses their attachment needs.
When you decide to adopt a child, you might assume that all the important work begins when the child comes to live with you. In fact the preparation stage before is crucial in ensuring that the adopted child will arrive to a safe and secure family. Preparing for Adoption provides clear advice on how to prepare for you adoptive child and create a strong foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. Julia Davis explains how many different factors can shape preparations for adoption, such as finding out about your child's history and using this information to establish a family environment which will meet your child's specific attachment needs. There is also advice on how to prepare your home to create a sense of safety for your child and how to prepare your family to support you as adoptive parents.
Primarily for adopters, foster carers and professionals supporting adopters, this book offers ideas and strategies to help parents prepare a happy and settled home for children before their arrival and ways to parent them in the early days of becoming a family that addresses their attachment needs.
210 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 21, 2014
About the author
Julia Davis
47 booksLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Pseudonym of John Marsh.
Pseudonym of John Marsh.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
December 5, 2014
It has in-text citations. ::drops mic::
No really, if you've read anything like the amount of foster/adoption/parenting books that I have you'll know I need no other justification for a 5 star review. But for those of you who haven't, I'll go ahead and justify.
First I should address that while this is a UK book that should not deter US (or elsewhere) readers. Aside from a very few UK-specific details, the information would be relevant to anyone in this situation. Second, this is a title focused on adoption from foster care. While infant and international adopters will still find a wealth of useful information, the primary audience here is parents adopting children from the foster care system. Which is excellent. There is far too little available on the topic.
Now truly, this is the book I wish I could have read before we became foster parents. It manages to walk the fine line between being realistic about the trauma and corresponding issues that the children may face, without making them seem impossible to parent. Books tend to leave me either feeling like love and hugs can heal the deepest wounds, or like no matter what your house will be burned down with you inside it. This book provides an honest, factual portrayal (that directly reflects our own experiences as foster parents so far), and includes parenting and coping strategies. Nothing is glossed over or just mentioned and ignored either. If Davis talks about the fight/flight/freeze response, she also talks about what part of the brain is in use, how it might manifest in a trauma-exposed child, and how you can successfully parent that child through their particular reaction.
I'd also say this would be an excellent read for non-adoptive foster parents. The early chapters on the effects of trauma on the brain are probably repetitions of information foster parents have seen in trainings, but I found the application of parenting strategies to these traumas to be clearer than anything I've had in an agency training. I also appreciated the real-life examples throughout. Additionally, the transition chapters provide a lot of useful information on all sides of the table (birth/foster/adoptive) to help smooth the experience as much as possible for the child, and I think would be good reading for non-adoptive foster parents.
Adoptive parents, even if you think you've read everything there is on bringing a new child into your home, I urge you to pick this book up and at least to read the chapters on transitions and introductions if nothing else. Those chapters are worth double their weight in gold.
This is a hard job. Don't do it alone. Pick up this book.
**I received a free copy of this book for review via NetGalley. The opinions are my own.
No really, if you've read anything like the amount of foster/adoption/parenting books that I have you'll know I need no other justification for a 5 star review. But for those of you who haven't, I'll go ahead and justify.
First I should address that while this is a UK book that should not deter US (or elsewhere) readers. Aside from a very few UK-specific details, the information would be relevant to anyone in this situation. Second, this is a title focused on adoption from foster care. While infant and international adopters will still find a wealth of useful information, the primary audience here is parents adopting children from the foster care system. Which is excellent. There is far too little available on the topic.
Now truly, this is the book I wish I could have read before we became foster parents. It manages to walk the fine line between being realistic about the trauma and corresponding issues that the children may face, without making them seem impossible to parent. Books tend to leave me either feeling like love and hugs can heal the deepest wounds, or like no matter what your house will be burned down with you inside it. This book provides an honest, factual portrayal (that directly reflects our own experiences as foster parents so far), and includes parenting and coping strategies. Nothing is glossed over or just mentioned and ignored either. If Davis talks about the fight/flight/freeze response, she also talks about what part of the brain is in use, how it might manifest in a trauma-exposed child, and how you can successfully parent that child through their particular reaction.
I'd also say this would be an excellent read for non-adoptive foster parents. The early chapters on the effects of trauma on the brain are probably repetitions of information foster parents have seen in trainings, but I found the application of parenting strategies to these traumas to be clearer than anything I've had in an agency training. I also appreciated the real-life examples throughout. Additionally, the transition chapters provide a lot of useful information on all sides of the table (birth/foster/adoptive) to help smooth the experience as much as possible for the child, and I think would be good reading for non-adoptive foster parents.
Adoptive parents, even if you think you've read everything there is on bringing a new child into your home, I urge you to pick this book up and at least to read the chapters on transitions and introductions if nothing else. Those chapters are worth double their weight in gold.
This is a hard job. Don't do it alone. Pick up this book.
**I received a free copy of this book for review via NetGalley. The opinions are my own.
April 28, 2020
This is a really good book about preparing future adoptive parents for the road ahead. It’s geared more towards adopting older kids & if that is what you are looking for this is a great book for you.
June 15, 2020
Good mix of fact and emotion.
This was a very useful book to read as it gave specific examples of how certain factors could influence your own process of adoption. It gave a clear difference between the 'clinical' facts and the emotional experiences some might have been through.
This was a very useful book to read as it gave specific examples of how certain factors could influence your own process of adoption. It gave a clear difference between the 'clinical' facts and the emotional experiences some might have been through.
January 9, 2022
very practical
Highly recommend for those adopting younger children. Not a lot of examples for adoption children who are older or teens.
Highly recommend for those adopting younger children. Not a lot of examples for adoption children who are older or teens.
December 31, 2024
A really great, objective book about the adoption experience. I can't commend Julia Davis enough for having written this book; if you read it, you will learn a lot about attachment, the trauma that adoptees go through and ways to help them heal and welcome them into your family.
The books takes a compassionate approach to thorny and difficult issues that can arise in the adoption process, especially between social workers, adopters and foster carers. It is a beautiful book that will help you think outside the box and adapt your mind to the way that adoptees think.
My fiancée is adopted and sometimes gets a bit anxious about attachments; reading this book, I could understand her way of thinking better and be more empathetic of her fears and expectations. It has actually made a huge difference in our relationship, and showed me ways in which I could offer more effective support and be a better partner for her.
My way of thinking about adoption and addressing the issues that can arise from the traumas of adoptees has turned way more creative. This book has enriched my perspective so much, and every day I find ways in which I am doing better as a person for the adoptees around me (of which there are many, because a considerable number of my friends and acquaintances are adoptees).
This book also has examples with gay and lesbian couples, and as a lesbian who plans to adopt, this was really appreciated!
Thank you for your amazing work, Julia Davis!
The books takes a compassionate approach to thorny and difficult issues that can arise in the adoption process, especially between social workers, adopters and foster carers. It is a beautiful book that will help you think outside the box and adapt your mind to the way that adoptees think.
My fiancée is adopted and sometimes gets a bit anxious about attachments; reading this book, I could understand her way of thinking better and be more empathetic of her fears and expectations. It has actually made a huge difference in our relationship, and showed me ways in which I could offer more effective support and be a better partner for her.
My way of thinking about adoption and addressing the issues that can arise from the traumas of adoptees has turned way more creative. This book has enriched my perspective so much, and every day I find ways in which I am doing better as a person for the adoptees around me (of which there are many, because a considerable number of my friends and acquaintances are adoptees).
This book also has examples with gay and lesbian couples, and as a lesbian who plans to adopt, this was really appreciated!
Thank you for your amazing work, Julia Davis!
December 30, 2014
A Must-Read!
This book should be given to everyone wanting to adopt children – especially those adoptions that take place through the foster care system. All social workers or counselors should list this as a must-read, must-have, keep-in-your-pocket book! I’ve literally reads dozens of books over the years and this book explains and helps train you – the parents – better than any other book how to work with kiddos who have been through trauma in their past. The ideas and specific strategies are priceless. Read it, come back to it and read it again. Each time I promise you will pick up different ideas on how to make transition and your future better. One small note – this book is published in the UK – there are a few items that don’t relate to US laws – however, your children will not know the difference and, unfortunately, trauma and abuse know no boundaries. Enjoy! NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
This book should be given to everyone wanting to adopt children – especially those adoptions that take place through the foster care system. All social workers or counselors should list this as a must-read, must-have, keep-in-your-pocket book! I’ve literally reads dozens of books over the years and this book explains and helps train you – the parents – better than any other book how to work with kiddos who have been through trauma in their past. The ideas and specific strategies are priceless. Read it, come back to it and read it again. Each time I promise you will pick up different ideas on how to make transition and your future better. One small note – this book is published in the UK – there are a few items that don’t relate to US laws – however, your children will not know the difference and, unfortunately, trauma and abuse know no boundaries. Enjoy! NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews