Pilgrims: One Meeting / One Lifetime

by Paul McDermott

A Journey Through Love, Loss, and the Art of Being Fully Alive
By Paul McDermott

We are all going to die. And in that stark truth lies a hidden grace—an invitation to live more deeply and meaningfully.

In this quietly profound and often darkly funny memoir, psychotherapist Paul McDermott walks alongside a dying patient through the luminous shadowlands of love, loss, and the messy, miraculous business of being human.

Pilgrims explores the ordinary and the sacred with equal reverence—tracing moments of heartbreak, laughter, and transformation as they unfold in the presence of love and death.

With the insight of a seasoned therapist and the warmth of a born storyteller, McDermott offers not just reflections on dying but a deeper meditation on how to live—awake, wholehearted, and honest. Confronting our mortality, he reminds us, can awaken us to what truly matters.

This revised second edition includes new reflections and a moving Afterword, offering fresh perspective and a renewed invitation to turn toward what we fear, meet life with tenderness, and walk this brief journey as pilgrims.

Ideal for readers drawn to psychological memoir, spiritual reflection, end-of-life care, or personal growth—such as Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, With the End in Mind by Kathryn Mannix, or Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom—Pilgrims is a quiet masterpiece that stays with you long after the final page.

Praise for Pilgrims

“A tender and intensely moving account of an extraordinary journey, a beautiful and uplifting story of transformation in the final chapter of life. .. This book charts what is possible, with love and wisdom, when death brings us face to face with the ultimate meaning of our lives.”
— Sogyal Rinpoche, author of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

“A moving, profound exploration of life, death and regeneration.”
— Oliver James, author of They F** You How To Survive Family Life*

282 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 5, 2005

About the author

Paul McDermott is a psychotherapist and writer living in London and Zurich.
For nearly 20 years, he trained psychotherapists and counsellors in London, and his ongoing work of more than 35 years is focused on helping people free themselves from controlling systems so they can win back their original nature and go on to live fulfilling and meaningful lives.
His first book, 'Pilgrims', explores what it means to live fully in the face of death — and began, fittingly, as a dream in which he was told to write. His writing blends memoir, reflection, psychological insight, and a provocative insistence on what really matters. In terms of this, he lives a simple reflective life based on the understanding that, as the Japanese say, “The Way is your everyday life.”

Reviews

[Lisa Swanepoel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a sweet story and easy to read despite the difficult subject.