Becoming a Healthier Pastor: Family Systems Theory and the Pastor's Own Family

by Ronald W. Richardson

In this sequel to Creating a Healthier Church , Richardson employs the same methodology to address the roots of personal issues that may hinder pastors’ ability to function effectively as leaders within their congregations, and may in fact cause them deep difficulties. He especially addresses pastors’ own families of origin, a major but often hidden component in how they function emotionally in their congregations. When anxiety arises, unresolved familial issues and old family patterns return, often unhelpfully. Richardson explores these patterns, how they operate in church situations, and how pastors can do their own family-of-origin assessment. His volume will become a standard tool for analysis of patterns in ministerial behavior and developing strong personal effectiveness.

Genres: Leadership, Theology, Counselling, Psychology, Christianity

150 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2004

Reviews

[Joe Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little more intense study in family systems theory specifically in the life of the pastor. Not all of it was helpful…but really good in terms of self-differentiation, triangulation, and apply systems theory to your own life and family.

[Graham Gaines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this as part of my job as a chaplain. Helpful book! The idea that you have to be the one to change if you want the system to change has stuck out to me, and is something I'm trying to put into practice.

[Nigel Fortescue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Drawing heavily on Bowen’s Family Systems Thinking, Richardson encourages pastors to stop looking for quick fixes, stop focussing on problems and stop blaming others for church issues! Rather, get to know your self, your family and your own unresolved issues that you bring into your pastoring. Only by doing this can you hope to bring a calm and curious presence to your church that will build people and build hope.

[Keith Lenard Jr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great introduction to family systems.

[Chelsea May · Rating 5 out of 5]

Family systems in a way that is not just jargon.

[Tim Littleford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this should be required reading for Pastors.

[Rob O'Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, basic description of the main components of systems theory and how the emotionally-mature minister can use systems theory to lead a congregation. It is written more from a counseling perspective, seeing the role of the minister as a "coach" rather than a pastoral leader. However, the close reader will agree with Richardson that many in the church have never really faced the reality of their psycho-spiritual condition. Without saying it (at least directly), Richardson argues that we all operate from an agenda that was grounded in us in our families of origin. Sometimes this is positive; however it is almost always negative. Richardson walks the reader through his own process of confronting his family of origin issues and demonstrates how he grew through that process. There is also a secondary case study. The book concludes with Richardson's process of walking church members through the process. At times it reads like a doctoral dissertation, and having a little a basic working knowledge of Bowen's version of systems theory is necessary. However, it is a helpful read for anyone in ministry and leadership.

[Calvin Coulter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting indeed, I am unfamiliar with therapeutic models and schemes, and so I have nothing against which to benchmark this family systems theory. It seemed that it has some merit though, and the worked examples appeared to demonstrate consistency. There were also some very practical pastoral applications that were obvious and may prove helpful in the future. The most disappointing aspect of the book for me was that it did not reference scripture nor explore God's role in all the attachment issues raised.

[Corey · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, insightful book. Richardson clearly knows his stuff. He applies family systems theory to the work of the pastor and, contrary to conventional wisdom, says that the pastor's ability to be a healthy leader hinges on whether he/she has done the necessary work of being healthy in his/her own family. The book is full of helpful examples that are hard-hitting and realistic.

[Shawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good book if you really big on family systems theory… And it can be very helpful if you're working on your Genogram. However, is a difficult read it takes a little work to translate into how to make it work when you're not an expert.

[Jonny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although limited by a focus on Family Systems Theory (Bowen theory), this book is great for pastors who are interested in differentiation. The author argues that differentiation of self is the main way pastors become healthy. A concluding section on how to be a coach is also helpful.

[Larry Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

deeply compassionate, wise, loving advice from a sage who loves God and loves pastors

[Eric Black · Rating 2 out of 5]

A rather dry application of family systems theory to the pastor as person

[Kathryn Saunders-Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good theory, dense at times.