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A Practical Guide to Emotional Intelligence: Get Smart about Emotion

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Effectively understand yourself and others, to achieve a happier, healthier life. Improve your personal and professional relationships by learning a range of mental skills that can help you to successfully manage both yourself and the demands of working with others.   Teaching you to stay in control, interpret body language and cope with negativity, this Practical Guide will help you to become aware of your own feelings and those of others, understand them and manage their impact. Filled with exercises, case studies and useful tips, Emotional Intelligence will help you to get smart about emotions and improve both your physical and psychological well-being.

197 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2007

3336 people are currently reading
1672 people want to read

About the author

David Walton

63 books12 followers

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5 stars
266 (23%)
4 stars
366 (32%)
3 stars
349 (31%)
2 stars
116 (10%)
1 star
26 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
Profile Image for Lúcia Parreira.
98 reviews55 followers
December 8, 2024
É um livro fácil de ler e contém muita informação útil. Além disso é interativo, com testes e quizzes para pontuar a nossa inteligência emocional. Gostei muito!
Profile Image for Holly.
50 reviews5 followers
September 5, 2014
I actually found this book incredibly helpful. Reading through this book and about emotional intelligence made me realise a lot of where I was going wrong in my personal relationships. It's made me notice the fact that because of my anxiety I do have issues with overreacting, being overly negative and paranoid, and especially with representing my own feelings and thoughts as those of others.
This book is small and concise at just over 200 pages, but I've found it's given me lots of building blocks upon which to create a better emotional intellgence foundation. It's interactive, with tests and quizzes for you to score your emotional intelligence.
It's helped me realise that I need to differentiate between what I think is happening and what actually is happening and to basically increase my emotional awareness and empathy. I feel like this book goes hand in hand with others about managing my anxiety and can help me to learn to manage my emotions in a more healthy way and to understand and empathize with others.
Profile Image for Apurva Nair.
17 reviews
October 26, 2020
The book is about understanding mental abilities and skills to manage your emotions, anxiety, fears, and relationships. A guide to adapt and apply practical skills, knowledge, and its uses for promoting Emotional Intelligence (EI).

The book explores how EI is important and necessary to be imparted from childhood and in every stage of life. Being emotionally intelligent will help us in being optimistic, properly express our feelings and emotions, and maintain healthy relationships with family, friends, and peers.

The book is recommended to anxious people who find it easy to imagine the negative outcome of the future rather than living in present and working on it to create a positive future. This book helped me with tips and techniques to look towards the challenges of life as a chance and not an obstacle.
Profile Image for Lesr.
554 reviews24 followers
April 30, 2019
A wonderful book with short quizzes and tips to raise your emotional intelligence in different aspects of life. Loved it. Easy to read and not too long.
Profile Image for Toe.
196 reviews63 followers
July 29, 2018
Objective Summary

This is a self-help book about understanding and embracing emotional intelligence. It summarizes decades of psychological research into the following main lessons.

• Developing your emotional intelligence will help you live a happier, healthier, and better life.
• Emotional intelligence involves knowing yourself reasonably well, controlling your emotions, empathizing with the feelings of others, and using social skills in an effective and pleasant way.
• The four mental and physiological processes that generate emotions are: stimulation, interpretation, arousal, and behavior.
• Optimism is better than pessimism because optimists adapt better to negative experiences, have lower rates of anxiety and depression, identify more possible solutions to problems, address problems earlier, are more persistence in the face of adversity, and respond more flexibly.
• To challenge pessimistic thoughts, ask: What evidence is there for this negative thought? Is your pessimistic thinking related to past events, and have things changed? Can you find an alternative explanation or other evidence for the situation? Even if there is no positive explanation, does it really matter? What are the implications of the situation? Is it really damaging? Which perspective would be most helpful to your mood?
• To strengthen self-esteem: Stop comparing yourself to other people. Don’t put yourself down. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about you to yourself. Accept compliments. Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs. Spend time with positive, supportive people. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at. Be assertive; don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect. Be helpful and considerate to others. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
• People experiencing positive emotions are likely to think well of others, expect to be accepted by others, are positive about their aspirations, are not afraid of others’ reactions, work harder for people who demand higher standards, feel more comfortable with talented people, and are comfortable defending themselves against negative comments by others.
• People experiencing negative emotions are more likely to disapprove of others and themselves, expect rejection, have lower expectations and are more negative, are sensitive and perform poorly under scrutiny, work harder for uncritical and less demanding people, feel threatened easily, and are more easily influenced and find defending themselves difficult.
• To be truly knowledgeable about ourselves, we need to avoid overgeneralizing, filtering out important things, discounting positives, absence of balance (“all or nothing” thinking), jumping to conclusions, magnifying or minimizing problems, being judgmental, stereotyping people or situations, and an inability to detach ourselves from personal views.
• Assertiveness can be saying what you think; making requests and asking for help; negotiating solutions acceptable to everyone; refusing requests; refusing to be patronized or put down; making complaints; clarifying expectations; expressing your optimism in the face of negativity; showing appreciation, affection, hurt feelings, justifiable annoyance; overcoming hesitation about putting things on the table; giving and receiving compliments; and working to help others.
• To increase assertiveness, remember:
o Your prime right is to be treated with respect. Equally, we have a responsibility to treat others with similar respect.
o Judge each situation on its merits in terms of fairness, balancing wants with needs, and while being self-oriented, your behavior should not appear selfish.
o Work out what you feel and want, then decide if it is appropriate and fair.
o An assertive person can disagree with you and yet still be your friend; distinguish facts from opinions and people from the issues involved.
o Practice being open about the way your feelings affect you. Acknowledge them if you receive a put-down and say in a clear and firm manner that the person’s comment or behavior is unacceptable to you.
o When you need to be assertive with others, ask for more information. Hidden in their remarks can be assumptions you can spotlight.
o If someone is angry, find out what is behind it. There may be a more constructive form of discussion to be had.
o Be polite when you disagree with someone. Tell them your preferences using clear and simple statements.
o Be prepared to repeat what you have said as many times as necessary until others show they have heard and understood the point you are making.
• Being authentic, owning your beliefs and demonstrating them in your interactions is one of the features of what is often called ‘charisma.’ Professor Richard Wiseman led a study in 2005 which suggests that charisma is 50% innate and 50% trained. His tips include keeping an open body posture and communicating your ideas clearly and with commitment.
• The following five things boost your health and wellbeing through emotional intelligence: connecting with others, exercising, staying alert to the immediate moment and details of life, continually learning, and giving.


Subjective Thoughts

I had to read this book for work, and I found it boring and trite. The observations and advice felt obvious, commonsensical, untrue, inapplicable, or circular. Self-help books in general are unappealing to me, but Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” somehow rung truer to me. This Walton cat used the word "whilst" too frequently for my tastes, though the bit on increasing assertiveness could be useful since I much prefer to get along with folks.


Memorable Quotes

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Profile Image for Stephanie Froebel.
420 reviews33 followers
April 29, 2018
Really good at explaining the importance and details of emotional intelligence. I did find though that this book lacked describing how to improve these skills, but overall not a bad read (especially when I go it on sale). Also, I did appreciate the note that emotional intelligence is seen to correlate to one's physical health.
Profile Image for J.P. Willson.
Author 4 books61 followers
January 15, 2020
Well, I was expecting more from this book than I received. Keeping in mind I am very versed on the subject of emotional intelligence, still I thought I may come across some 'nuggets' I was unaware of, alas- I did not.
This is not to say the book does not contain some valuable insight, it does most certainly- and as such I would recommend it for those holding an interest on the topic.
Profile Image for Sotain.
5 reviews
June 6, 2015
This book has lots of information on emotional intelligence. I love the self assessment quizzes and how the author illustrates emotional intelligence in different areas of our lives such as work and family.
Profile Image for Leonor Pimentel.
12 reviews
September 16, 2025
Bastante acessível e prático, mas não deixou de ser um ótimo livro. Gostei muito de o ler e acho que acabou por enfatizar de forma clara aspetos muito importantes. Gostei muito:)
Profile Image for The Adaptable Educator.
474 reviews
May 20, 2022
Getting to know yourself, outside and in

First, I recommend this book and I really, really appreciated it!
I took a chance on it with an initial intention of unravelling more self-awareness... A practice I continually undertake and never fully feel I succeed with... This was the key motivator for unpacking what emotional intelligence really is.
Perhaps we are doing it a disservice by using the word "intelligence" ... It triggers loads of self-depricating thoughts which the book suggests to be a sign of a lower EI.
The good thing here is that the author never really gives a set-in-stone definition of each type of personality or EI. So, you are guided through ambiguity into realizing that emotional intelligence isn't another label that one can use to define people and then file them away! It is an intimately mutable process that connects us to our personal experiences and continues to evolve with us... If we desire to continue evolving, that is.
So, feel free to bring your self-labels with you while reading this book and then leave them behind. We are all works in progress!!!

As a teacher, I'm always looking for New ways of seeing and hearing my students. I believe this book also helped here too... Even if it gives very contradictory definitions of empathy vs sympathy... Contradictory to what I had always believed... That's another A-ha moment I really appreciated.
Read this book! You'll possibly love to hate it and hate to love it. Enjoy the ride.
Profile Image for TeaJ.
2 reviews
October 11, 2021
Strong 3.

This book was recommended to me by my step-father. Despite majoring in psychology, I have had trouble applying and being practical with what I have learned to myself. There is some good advice in this book on relationship-building and being self-aware when you're engaging in maladaptive behavior. Judging by the majority of the book, I think this is more of an organizational psychology type of book, what I mean is this is probably something your boss would have you and your co-workers read as some part of a social group activity. The book references some additional resources to look into the topic further, acknowledging that it is very much an introduction. There are cute little quizzes throughout that remind me of personality tests you find online. They're fun but probably not accurate, like most personality tests.
Profile Image for Carolyn Moor.
6 reviews5 followers
September 10, 2015
This short, quick book was very helpful to me. Emotional intelligence is so needed in the stage of life I've found myself in: widowhood. I wished I had this information sooner. I believe EI is a key to building resilience and mastering obstacles. It's knowledge that should be taught more readily. So glad I stumbled upon this book. I have some work to do aka: Type A & D. Lots of highlighting happened!
Profile Image for Adriana Ogawa.
9 reviews
June 15, 2020
Some time ago I took the risk of buying this book without looking for a few reviews first... Unfortunately, that didn't end up as well as I expected. Besides presenting some sections that made me consider paying more attention to some good and bad emotional habits of mine, the book nurtures some ideas that lack theoretical depth and scientific data, jumping to conclusions that were just hard to believe. May recommend some specific sections, but overall I'll give it no more than 2 stars.
Profile Image for Percevial.
52 reviews3 followers
September 11, 2018
There are some great moments in the book, but the early sections lean more to the application of EI in the workplace. Towards the end of the book there are some greats segments dealing more with the personal and interpersonal applications. I wouldn’t recommend the book as an introduction to EI. It doesn’t do a sound job of establishing a foundation.
534 reviews
August 10, 2017
Provided useful insight to the concept of emotional intelligence, but with an application more towards business than personal.
Profile Image for Ignacio R. De Almeida.
10 reviews
November 1, 2017
I felt that the author just had a checklist of terms that he or she had to write and just went through all of them giving the basics without keeping it engaging.
Profile Image for ☯︎Hanna☯︎.
29 reviews10 followers
January 10, 2019
What we lack.

I have seen many people that lacked emotional intelligence letting anger or fear take control over their lives. I was among them until I decided to change the way I lived.

It is hard to resist such a “push” from the surroundings that makes us feel that way. But here comes self-awareness that helps us see why we feel that way and what we can do to escape from it. This book gives good questionnaires that I found interesting to answer.

When people tend to stress a lot or get angry at someone or something, why do they let this emotion take over? Are they too weak to resist? I am more than sure that we are all capable of dealing with our own feelings and emotions as long as we WANT to work on changing them which means getting out of our comfort zone and struggle until the results have been achieved. It also takes a lot of time, and many individuals think that if they can’t do it for a few days, they can’t do it at all. Well, we are all creatures of habit which is why trying, failing, and trying again is the key factor here.

There are a number of works that explain quite well what needs to be done in order to achieve this-and-that. The main thing is to stick to your plan and never give up. Results come later, but we need to learn how to enjoy the process even if it’s not a pleasant experience.
Profile Image for Barry Haworth.
711 reviews10 followers
December 26, 2019
I don't think that self-help books are my cup of tea. This one was recommended to me by a friend some time ago, and I have nominally been "reading" it for more than a year and have been finding it hard going. This isn't really the book's fault per se, more that I felt to do the material justice required spending time to pause and reflect and apply the content. As I normally read for pleasure and distraction this didn't really work for me.
Apart from this, though, I didn't really feel that the book does justice to its subject. While making a concerted effort to finish off before Christmas so I could return it to my friend after all this time it seemed to me that much of what I was reading was along the lines of "Emotionally Intelligent people can do A! and B! and the even more amazing C!" without really making the link between why this was so, or how one could achieve such skills. Lots of studies were described and results quoted, but no references were given. It all seemed very superficial and sensationalistic, and not particularly useful, at least to me.
4 reviews
January 19, 2024
This book did a good job of explaining what emotional intelligence is, and how it can benefit anyone in a wide variety of consequences. While it did offer some interesting perspectives for me to reflect on my own life and emotional intelligence, it failed to share any practical ways to improve or expand one’s emotional intelligence.

It got me to realize my need for more emotional intelligence, and to further develop the sub skills that are associated with EI, but without any applicability to one’s own life. I got excited to read and realize, wow this person sounds exactly like me, that is how I might react, etc. but offered no insight into how to make changes in your life to get there. It was also quite repetitive.
Profile Image for burak.
2 reviews
March 9, 2018
Okay

This book definitely made more curious about learning/researching further about EI. Otherwise I was bored reading it because It felt like reading a blog rather than well researched study. The book contains bogus words like “According to the recent studies...” “ The studies shown..” “Researches found that..”

Nonetheless I highlighted certain parts of the book. I wish it was much more informative and less word fillers. This book would’ve been perfect if it was cut half.
3 reviews1 follower
January 16, 2020
Great read!

I enjoyed this read. It was a good follow up to the book "How to be an Imperfectionist." Imperfectionism and emotional intelligence seem to go hand in hand. Only thing I'd have preferred in this book are more actionable steps. The quizzes and insights were helpful in showing me that I lack emotional intelligence to a degree, but the solutions felt more general versus specific baby steps I can take NOW to jumpstart the process.
Profile Image for Vanessa.
32 reviews2 followers
May 2, 2020
Self assessments are always a plus

This book had a lot of good ways to self assess our own emotional intelligence and how we tend to apply that to our own lives. Whether you are a parent, or are in a romantic relationship, work with groups of people, or have friends and family... yes that's just about everyone... this book will prove useful in improving the way you communicate with others.
Profile Image for Mahlangu.
95 reviews9 followers
May 8, 2025
Reading this book helped me better understand what emotional intelligence is all about. I learned that it is important to correctly label our emotions and determine their root cause. The author explores how emotional intelligence manifests in parenting, the workplace, and our personal lives. I like how the author attempts to divide emotional intelligence into four parts; this made it very easy for me to understand emotional intelligence as a regular reader.
Profile Image for Laney Graves.
1 review
December 10, 2018
Good practical book

The only reason I didn't do 5 stars is because it got a bit repetitive. I think this should be taught in elementary or middle school! This book is very practical and explains emotional intelligence very well. Practical wisdom in relationships and self realisation are articulated well.
28 reviews
September 8, 2021
An informative and interesting read on Emotional Intelligence. There are a lot of reference reading material also provided for those who would love to dive deep into the are of Emotional Intelligence, while the book itself is simple enough for those who haven't yet started their journey on Emotional Intelligence with many self-assessment questionnaires that help in self-awareness.
Profile Image for Ramon de la Cruz.
225 reviews
January 24, 2022
A helpful introduction of EI and how we can manage their roots in our lives. Know the effect EI can affect our lives will help us to identified it and be aware of it. As a human been , we are build to be related with others and we need to know to we can improve our relationship and EI is the way to do it.

I totally recommended it.
75 reviews
April 3, 2022
Introduces interesting concepts occasionally. Doesn’t do a good job of describing research which made me question the conclusions he was pulling from it. He also does not cite it correctly. Fully assumes that society is a white male middle-upper class average, no recognition of possible institutional issues, or societal prejudices that could get in the way of your emotional intelligence.
Profile Image for Elisha.
249 reviews2 followers
January 29, 2024
Practical is the key word here. This one is super easy to read, hitting on big concepts that contradict modern attitudes effortlessly. Whether you focus on emotional intelligence daily or have never heard of that concept before you'd get something out of this. I will definitely be using some parts of this, including the self-awareness tests in teaching my students.
Profile Image for MaryLou.
1 review
April 1, 2019
Insightful and easy reading

I identify with most of what is talked about and recognize in myself where I am least EI but also where I have become more EI. This is not a one time read for me, I suspect
Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews

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