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Crispy Critters

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Gordon and Leo are two retired firefighters who discover a pedophile has moved into their neighbourhood. So they hatch a wicked plot to clean up not only their street, but the entire city. Of course, Cyn Bathgate, a clever Phoenix homicide detective who is investigating arsons, has other plans.

A thriller Novella by Theo Cage and first in an upcoming series.

61 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 18, 2014

171 people are currently reading
103 people want to read

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Theo Cage

17 books19 followers

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5 stars
80 (37%)
4 stars
65 (30%)
3 stars
39 (18%)
2 stars
21 (9%)
1 star
11 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Maureen .
1,734 reviews7,564 followers
January 18, 2025
What it lacks in brevity, this novella makes up for in substance. Quite a graphic, unsettling opening to this tale of two retired firefighters, who decide to avenge the victims of paedophiles.
The two main protagonists are really likeable (even though they're actually murderers). As always, Theo Cage is excellent when dealing with the dark side of life. A good solid story squeezed into just 53 pages.
Profile Image for Zain.
1,899 reviews283 followers
October 15, 2024
What an Ending!

Cleary, and his friend, Leo, are in the arsonist business. They’re not cooking houses. They’re cooking people.

The two men, who are best friends, are finding life a bit harder to live. They used to play poker on Tuesday nights, but are now spending their Tuesday nights burning men into crispy critters.

With detectives on their way to discovery, Leo and Cleary have to be deliberate about their hobby and vigilante in their quest for justice.

The ending is a very big surprise. It’s twisty. You don’t see it coming.

Four stars. 💫💫💫💫
Profile Image for Join the Penguin Resistance!  .
5,664 reviews332 followers
December 13, 2014
REVIEW CRISPY CRITTERS

Yesterday I picked up the author's BUZZWORM during a free promotion, then checked out his other books on Amazon and bought CRISPY CRITTERS. I read it today just after finishing a mystery for review, which synchronistically focused on a killer targeting rapists, murderers, pedophiles, and perpetrators of domestic violence. Here is a somewhat similar situation: the culprits target released sex offenders, those being "reintroduced" (euphemistically) into Society. The kicker is the identity of the culprits---very, very unexpected!! Then, even better, our two revengers cross their own Rubicon, in the form of a convicted and released pedophile, and his vicious whale of a roommate, a psychotic sociopath par excellence. I wish she could have a book of her own (she's a real hair-raiser)!
1,383 reviews22 followers
September 9, 2014
I really have had some difficulty writing a review of this book. While I hate pedophiles like the two main characters, I also abhor vigilantes. In my opinion, the law takes care of those who break the law. Leo and Gordon are retirees who have played poker for years. When the other members of their poker group die or move away, they get into some old fashioned vigilantism, directed toward pedophiles. Things go along well considering until one night they meet up with a nasty woman and her man, who try to put an end to their little projects. Needless to say, things get interesting. I enjoyed the easy flow of the story. It moved along so smoothly and quickly that I barely realized I was done with it when I reached the ending. The author definitely has a great writing style. I am just not sure about his storyline/plot—as I said, I am not a fan of vigilantism anywhere or any time. Still, these two old men had it right in many respects. I have not read anything else by the author but will now look for more of his works, since I enjoy his style. I think anyone looking for different, quirky sort of book or looking for something short and different will enjoy this book. I recommend you give it a try. I received this from Library Thing to read and honestly review.
Profile Image for Tamara aka SoMysteriousLee.
365 reviews35 followers
December 6, 2014
Warning: a bit of a spoiler in this review. Read at your own risk.


What happens when two old codgers get together and find a way to bring a little 'justice' and peace of mind through vigilante action? A fun story that had more twists than a lazy susan. A bit predictable, but just what I wanted, good guys getting away with murder, but getting caught up in their own web and how they get out of it is well worth reading, trust me!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Aymee.
667 reviews21 followers
November 23, 2015
I kind of have mixed feelings about this novella. On one hand, I love the idea of taking out dangerous pedophiles and/or other criminals one by one. But, on the other... the law is the law for a reason. That said, this was an intense, keep you on the edge of your seat kind of read. I really enjoyed it and will look for more by this author.
Profile Image for nora m malotte.
294 reviews6 followers
December 16, 2017
Crispy Critters # 1

For them that have never heard the term CRISPY CRITTERS, IT'S the name given by old fire fighters to people who have died in fires . Not being disrespectful. They simply try to find a bit of humor in a bad situation. Two old firefighters have sought to take vengeance in their golden years against really bad people. Not the right thing to do BUT WILL THEY ACTUALLY GET AWAY WITH IT ? I RECOMMEND , I BELIEVE YOU WILL ENJOY !
Profile Image for Will Decker.
Author 23 books17 followers
January 19, 2018
Although I wasn't sure what to expect, this story was not it. In fact, it was a whole lot more. A well written piece of fiction that entails police crime drama/vigilantism/thriller. Character development is good and the editing clean. A very entertaining read.
56 reviews1 follower
January 5, 2018
Hum

Not really what I expected but I liked it. This author definitely has a different writing style. It was refreshing. I would recommend this book to everyone.
128 reviews1 follower
March 6, 2018
Grandparents revenge

Two retired fire fighters decide to take care of pedifiles in their town only to get caught by two prdifiled
Profile Image for Liz Wood.
478 reviews3 followers
March 10, 2018
Quick read

Who would have thought two old retired firefighters could cause so much havoc. And turned tables make life so interesting.
1,078 reviews5 followers
April 20, 2019
I normally do not read short stories but I really enjoyed this one. A firefighter is suspected of killing ex-con pedophiles. Fast and interesting. I rate this a 5.0.
Profile Image for Doseofbella.
195 reviews42 followers
August 22, 2014
Crispy Critters By: Theo Cage
Pages. 43 Horror/Thriller
Shaylee Press January 18, 2014
Reviewed By: tk
Copy Courtesy of: Librarything Members Giveaway

A Fantastic read. Equal parts of a thriller and comic relief.

Leo and Gordon are retirees and best friends. What started out as a poker night with the guys, five in all, is now down to only these two men. Poker playing is kind of dull with only two players. A new kind of game is invented to keep them busy on Tuesdays nights.
The internet is there source for information on level 3 pedophiles. The retirees are now hunting expo. Everything is going as planned, until they meet a woman crazier then themselves.

I know I cant do this review justice. I loved the story. I feel the same way when thinking of pedophiles. Angry and frustrated that they sentencing is so light for damaging young children for life. This story takes it one step further outside of the legal justice system. Completely believable characters and hilarious, along with Theo Cage’s imagination makes this an excellent story. I felt sympathy, fear, justice, and laughed out loud.
Highly recommended. 5/5
Profile Image for J..
Author 27 books51 followers
October 24, 2014
This is an excellent long short story, well written and thoroughly engaging from sentence one. The three main characters (Gordon, Red, and Bathgate) are real people, ready to walk off the page, and the minor ones aren't all that fuzzy, either. Leo, the second elderly firefighter, is kept out of the limelight, but what we do see of him rings true.

My gripes with the story are pretty minor:
a) We don't learn of Gordon's actual motivation until the story's end, although we guess at it all along. Not sure why the author chose to delay that info. And
b) The blurb doesn't do the story justice. At all. And so when I settled down to read it, the book wasn't at all what I expected.

Gripes aside, the story's enjoyable and exciting, as a thriller should be. If you like thrillers and strong suspense, this one won't steer you wrong. Five strong stars.

Note: I received a free copy of this story through the Library Thing Members Giveaway program in exchange for an honest review. The cost of the book does not affect the review received.
Profile Image for Ana.
32 reviews9 followers
August 26, 2014
Wow! Where to even begin. I absolutely loved this story!! It was an easy read but not a fluff story either. It was very engaging and had my full attention from the start. Although what these two friends are doing is wrong in every way, a part of me wanted them to succeed and get away with their "projects". Not to say that they didn't have a match up with two unsavory characters that gave the two main characters, Leo and Gordon, a run for their money...and their lives. My only complaint would be that the story wasn't long enough!! I wanted more! It was that good!! Maybe someday this story will turn into a full blown book. I would buy it in an instant. I loved this story! It was entertaining, thrilling, and a story that I wont soon forget and will recommend to anyone who will listen. Mr Theo Cage has made a fan for life out of me!!
47 reviews2 followers
September 28, 2014
This was an unsettling read. The subject matter of vigilantism against paedophiles is bound to be controversial but no matter what our personal opinion on that Theo Cage managed to create a well-crafted story around it that made me interested in the lead characters despite how they kept taking the law into their own hands. The opening scene was a bit graphic but I am quite squeamish anyway. The girlfriend of the character called David Torrance was easily one of the most vile, disgusting characters I have read about in some time and it is in no small part due to the skill of Theo Cage that ‘Red’ came to life in such a loathsome way. When she got her comeuppance it was shocking but well deserved and the twist at the end injected a little burst of humour that was refreshing after a heavy read.
Profile Image for Georgiann Hennelly.
1,960 reviews26 followers
October 28, 2014
A truly fantastic very engaging read.Leo and Gordon are best friends and retired. What started out as a poker night with five guys is now down to two its no fun playing with just two guys. So they invent a new game to keep busy on Tin Tuesday nights. They use the internet to get information on level 3 pedophilos. They are now on a hunting expo. Everything goes as planned till they meet a women who is crazier than them. I loved the story i feel as the characters do pedophiles get to light of a sentence for ruining childrens lifes forever. Cage writes believable characters and they are hilarious at times. I felt a range of emotions. I highly recommend this book for ages 18 and above.
64 reviews6 followers
October 18, 2014
The story is highly engaging. It leaves you feeling satisfied at the end. It is short, yes, but it is also fully rounded out, has an engaging plot, and the ending makes the book feel complete. It most certainly doesn't leave you dissatisfied and with too many questions. It is a quick read, but a very enjoyable one. The author does a good job of hooking you from page one. The characters were unique and so was the plot line. It was brilliantly written and a must read for any short story fans.

(*Note I received a free copy through LibraryThing's Member Giveaways in exchange for an honest review.)
Profile Image for Lorrie.
337 reviews21 followers
December 14, 2014
This is a short story about an older gentleman who took it upon himself to find and torture/murder sex offenders, then set their houses on fire (hence the name 'Crispy Critters'). I have to take the author to task over the revenge/vigilante killings. We can't just go around murdering people who we think are a menace to society; albeit, anyone who hurts a child is, obviously, very sick. The big issue I had with this story was that the police investigator, who had ultimately discovered that this man was the culprit, let him get away with it. Nonetheless, the story was well-written and evoked very strong emotions in me. Therefore, I gave it 4 Stars.
Profile Image for Rita.
69 reviews9 followers
December 3, 2014
I received this as a free eBook via librarything.

Wow, such a quick read and enthralling from the beginning. Short and sweet.

The characters are real and you are rooting for the elderly firefighters to not get caught. Right to the very end well written. The suspense and the thrill was kept right to the end and I had to laugh as to why they made it.

I know what they were doing was wrong, but then it is a matter of perspective.


Profile Image for Bill Thibadeau.
503 reviews13 followers
August 25, 2014
Mr Cage writes dark stories and books very well. This short story is another example. I won't give anything away other than to say you will have 45 minutes of enjoyable reading about a retired fire fighter. Good stuff Mr Cage.
Profile Image for Brandi Nyborg.
217 reviews8 followers
January 7, 2016
Theo Cage has done it again! I have read multiple books by this author, and I have loved every single one. This book has some hard subject matter, but the author keeps you reading. There is a lot packed into this short novella you won't want to miss!
Profile Image for Chanda.
62 reviews
January 2, 2017
Short and Satisfying

I love short reads. This was a very satisfying story. The title caught my attention. The ending was put together so well. I am happy and relieved about what Bathgate did for Cleary. Touching.
Profile Image for Rebecca Cascio.
22 reviews
November 30, 2014
Catchy Title

For a short story it was very good. Character represention was done well. I enjoyed the plot at the end.
429 reviews8 followers
March 22, 2015
I received a free copy of this book from LibraryThing in exchange for an honest review. A quick and fun read, enjoyed it.
Profile Image for T..
Author 13 books572 followers
February 12, 2016
I downloaded the Crispy Critters as a free novella from Amazon. I don't read much horror, but this well-written gem was a great little short.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews

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