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DANCING THROUGH THE SHADOW: A True Story of Survival and Courage Under Mao's Brutal Regime
The shocking true story of Communist China— and the woman it couldn’t contain.
As the Cultural Revolution sweeps across the nation, young ballerina Tia Zhang rises to the top of Mao Zedong’s favorite dancers. Her success leads her to a forbidden love with a dashing military athlete — but it can not protect them from the brutality of the Communist regime.
In a story that spans nearly half a century, Tia’s family life is upended when her new husband is sent away to a labor camp, their baby son is taken from her, and her career as a dance teacher — her last hope of autonomy — is constantly threatened by government control.
Yet, amid despair, Tia’s unyielding spirit and love for her family illuminate the darkest corners of a country in turmoil — and fuels her inspiring bid for freedom.
Dancing Through the Shadow is a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit and the fierceness of a mother’s love. Set against the backdrop of one of politics's most repressive regimes, Agnes Bristow's vivid prose captures the heartache and triumph of a woman who danced not just for art — but for her very survival.
As the Cultural Revolution sweeps across the nation, young ballerina Tia Zhang rises to the top of Mao Zedong’s favorite dancers. Her success leads her to a forbidden love with a dashing military athlete — but it can not protect them from the brutality of the Communist regime.
In a story that spans nearly half a century, Tia’s family life is upended when her new husband is sent away to a labor camp, their baby son is taken from her, and her career as a dance teacher — her last hope of autonomy — is constantly threatened by government control.
Yet, amid despair, Tia’s unyielding spirit and love for her family illuminate the darkest corners of a country in turmoil — and fuels her inspiring bid for freedom.
Dancing Through the Shadow is a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit and the fierceness of a mother’s love. Set against the backdrop of one of politics's most repressive regimes, Agnes Bristow's vivid prose captures the heartache and triumph of a woman who danced not just for art — but for her very survival.
454 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 21, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
November 8, 2025
Thanl you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
Chronicling Tia's life from her childhood until the present, this memoir spans many decades and countries, mainly China and later Canada.
As someone with a background in Chinese language and East Asian studies, many of the historical events that Tia lived through were familiar to me already from the somewhat detached academic point of view, and I appreciated getting to read Tia's account of how she experienced them. That is also where I find issue, however.
One thing that always frustrates me about memoirs of East Asian communism, whether it be China, North Korea or Vietnam, is that any little feeling of sympathy for the regime is explained away as "indoctrination". I do not deny that indoctrination did and does happen, however it becomes tiring and feels dishonest. There's just NO WAY that any and all positive experiences anyone had under the Communist regime were ALL due to indoctrination or, alternatively, by ignoring the rules of the Communist regime. Excusing away potential sympathies as "indoctrination" is lazy, dishonest, and, especially if done by white people, racist (what do you mean, the only reason why these ~Orientals~ would ever feel positively about a system that ISN'T the Western Democratic System is because they were brainwashed and unable to know better and think for themselves?? do you hear yourself??? how is this not racist as hell???). Unlike what memoirs of the kind advertise themselves to do, it does not actually help give anyone a feel for what it was like to live under a certain regime at a certain time. Regimes are complex! People and their sympathies are complex! By painting it exclusively as hell on earth for anyone and everyone, you are just doing the other extreme of official state propaganda declaring it heaven on earth! Where's the NUANCE!! Especially since, if one actually looks at academic inquiries into people's experiences and opinions (done with North Korean defectors, for example), you will frequently get a very different, much more nuanced picture. But that does not sell well, and does not permit the Western reader to feel confirmed in their belief of their own system's superiority and the complete and utter lack of humanity (and reason! let's not forget that these regimes are generally called unreasonable and unpredictable!) of the enemy regime, to blame solely and exclusively on the ideology of Communism, which, conveniently, is shown to be So Very Bad for everyone (ignoring wider sociopoliticocultural trends and outside influences + the role of history in these countries, ALL OF WHICH WERE COLONIES VIOLENTLY EXPLOITED BY THE WEST. But it was for their own good, as we can see, this is what happens when you let them decide for themselves!)
So it frustrated me when Tia states that the criticisms she made against her parents were ALL lies, purely motivated by the pressure of the Red Guards, as if she hadn't lamented for like a hundred pages about how cruel her mother was to her for refusing to let her see the man she loves, and even DISOWNING her (before coming back around). Of course there was pressure, but acting like any bad thought she ever had about her parents was EXCLUSIVELY due to propaganda and pressure honestly just felt like she is trying to absolve herself, being dishonest in the process.
Of course, I sympathise with her, considering all she suffered through under the regime, and I understand also from a wider political perspective why she might not want to say anything positive at all about the life during the Cultural Revolution and under Mao more generally (being Chinese abroad, where sympathising with Mao isn't very well received). I do not blame Tia personally, but rather criticise the wider environment that enables and pushes stories like these.
I was also quite surprised - unpleasantly so - to find that Tia is a member of Falun Gong. While it is known in the West mainly for its repression at the hands of the Chinese state, Falun Gong, as a religion/cult, definitely deserves to be criticised. So Falungong’s founder’s beliefs are critical of science, conservative, against homosexuality, women’s liberation, race mixing, freedom of speech… (Vuori, J. A. (2014). Critical Security and Chinese Politics: The Anti-Falungong Campaign. Taylor & Francis Group). Li's doctrines explicitly disrespect a number of forms of life, an aspect much ignored by Western media; for example, homosexuality is seen as creating bad karma, comparable to organised crime and not within what is considered to be human, instead driving humanity towards its next destruction; race-mixing is a tool employed by the aliens to bring down humanity; people with mental disorders are prohibited from practising Falungong because their spirit is weak; practitioners are prohibited from engaging with other medical or religious texts (while practitioners are not BANNED from seeking medical treatment per se, it is considered a display of lack of faith, creating immense social pressure). Furthermore, according to Li, illnesses are a result of bad karma, and Western medicine is unable to see the “real cause”, only how this bad karma manifests in the world; illnesses are attachments that need to be let go off, and only Li is able to cure all ailments for his followers. So, while the banning of Falungong by the CPC is often framed as a human rights violation, the human rights dismissing rhetorics of Li himself, and the dangerous implications for his followers, are often ignored. (Vuori, J. (2014). Take Three. The Falungong’s struggle for recognition. In Critical Security and Chinese Politics: The anti-Falungong campaign. (pp. 130–150).) While Jason here does not refuse chemotherapy because he is a follower of Falun Gong, his dismissal of Western medicine when he literally has deadly cancer, as well as Tia's later framing of Falun Gong as the thing that saved her life (as she considered suicide), is not something I want to leave uncriticised.
I think that is much of my issue with this memoir, too - I simply do not find Tia sympathetic, and find she frames herself as a victim very frequently (which she is, undeniably), while ignoring the fact that her victimhood does not negate others' victimhood (such as that of her son, whom she has barely seen since he was born - due to circumstances out of her control, I do not deny that, but still -, and whom she then forces to move to Canada AGAINST HIS EXPLICIT WISHES, against the wishes of the people who RAISED HIM FOR HER FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, and refusing to even let him finish school first). If she had been somewhat more self-aware, I'm sure I would have found her more sympathetic and the memoir better to read, but alas.
Lastly, some small, but still bothersome details, were the fact that there were issues with typos and punctuation at times (such as forgetting the opening or closing quotation mark in a quote), and that Mandarin was at times used unnecessarily clunkily (do you really have to say "ni hao, ni hao (hello, hello)!"?). Also, I found it kind of odd, and quite representative of a wider attitude Tia seems to have, that her father and paternal grandmother are referred to as Baba and Nai nai, thus with the Chinese titles, while her mother, for the entirety of the memoir, is referred to as Mother, thus effectively singling her out.
This memoir definitely still has merit, and I do not discourage anyone from reading it, but these were issues that I felt important to point out, as much of the knowledge (such as the issues with Falun Gong) come directly from my studies and thus are not something I can presume to be common knowledge among readers more generally.
Chronicling Tia's life from her childhood until the present, this memoir spans many decades and countries, mainly China and later Canada.
As someone with a background in Chinese language and East Asian studies, many of the historical events that Tia lived through were familiar to me already from the somewhat detached academic point of view, and I appreciated getting to read Tia's account of how she experienced them. That is also where I find issue, however.
One thing that always frustrates me about memoirs of East Asian communism, whether it be China, North Korea or Vietnam, is that any little feeling of sympathy for the regime is explained away as "indoctrination". I do not deny that indoctrination did and does happen, however it becomes tiring and feels dishonest. There's just NO WAY that any and all positive experiences anyone had under the Communist regime were ALL due to indoctrination or, alternatively, by ignoring the rules of the Communist regime. Excusing away potential sympathies as "indoctrination" is lazy, dishonest, and, especially if done by white people, racist (what do you mean, the only reason why these ~Orientals~ would ever feel positively about a system that ISN'T the Western Democratic System is because they were brainwashed and unable to know better and think for themselves?? do you hear yourself??? how is this not racist as hell???). Unlike what memoirs of the kind advertise themselves to do, it does not actually help give anyone a feel for what it was like to live under a certain regime at a certain time. Regimes are complex! People and their sympathies are complex! By painting it exclusively as hell on earth for anyone and everyone, you are just doing the other extreme of official state propaganda declaring it heaven on earth! Where's the NUANCE!! Especially since, if one actually looks at academic inquiries into people's experiences and opinions (done with North Korean defectors, for example), you will frequently get a very different, much more nuanced picture. But that does not sell well, and does not permit the Western reader to feel confirmed in their belief of their own system's superiority and the complete and utter lack of humanity (and reason! let's not forget that these regimes are generally called unreasonable and unpredictable!) of the enemy regime, to blame solely and exclusively on the ideology of Communism, which, conveniently, is shown to be So Very Bad for everyone (ignoring wider sociopoliticocultural trends and outside influences + the role of history in these countries, ALL OF WHICH WERE COLONIES VIOLENTLY EXPLOITED BY THE WEST. But it was for their own good, as we can see, this is what happens when you let them decide for themselves!)
So it frustrated me when Tia states that the criticisms she made against her parents were ALL lies, purely motivated by the pressure of the Red Guards, as if she hadn't lamented for like a hundred pages about how cruel her mother was to her for refusing to let her see the man she loves, and even DISOWNING her (before coming back around). Of course there was pressure, but acting like any bad thought she ever had about her parents was EXCLUSIVELY due to propaganda and pressure honestly just felt like she is trying to absolve herself, being dishonest in the process.
Of course, I sympathise with her, considering all she suffered through under the regime, and I understand also from a wider political perspective why she might not want to say anything positive at all about the life during the Cultural Revolution and under Mao more generally (being Chinese abroad, where sympathising with Mao isn't very well received). I do not blame Tia personally, but rather criticise the wider environment that enables and pushes stories like these.
I was also quite surprised - unpleasantly so - to find that Tia is a member of Falun Gong. While it is known in the West mainly for its repression at the hands of the Chinese state, Falun Gong, as a religion/cult, definitely deserves to be criticised. So Falungong’s founder’s beliefs are critical of science, conservative, against homosexuality, women’s liberation, race mixing, freedom of speech… (Vuori, J. A. (2014). Critical Security and Chinese Politics: The Anti-Falungong Campaign. Taylor & Francis Group). Li's doctrines explicitly disrespect a number of forms of life, an aspect much ignored by Western media; for example, homosexuality is seen as creating bad karma, comparable to organised crime and not within what is considered to be human, instead driving humanity towards its next destruction; race-mixing is a tool employed by the aliens to bring down humanity; people with mental disorders are prohibited from practising Falungong because their spirit is weak; practitioners are prohibited from engaging with other medical or religious texts (while practitioners are not BANNED from seeking medical treatment per se, it is considered a display of lack of faith, creating immense social pressure). Furthermore, according to Li, illnesses are a result of bad karma, and Western medicine is unable to see the “real cause”, only how this bad karma manifests in the world; illnesses are attachments that need to be let go off, and only Li is able to cure all ailments for his followers. So, while the banning of Falungong by the CPC is often framed as a human rights violation, the human rights dismissing rhetorics of Li himself, and the dangerous implications for his followers, are often ignored. (Vuori, J. (2014). Take Three. The Falungong’s struggle for recognition. In Critical Security and Chinese Politics: The anti-Falungong campaign. (pp. 130–150).) While Jason here does not refuse chemotherapy because he is a follower of Falun Gong, his dismissal of Western medicine when he literally has deadly cancer, as well as Tia's later framing of Falun Gong as the thing that saved her life (as she considered suicide), is not something I want to leave uncriticised.
I think that is much of my issue with this memoir, too - I simply do not find Tia sympathetic, and find she frames herself as a victim very frequently (which she is, undeniably), while ignoring the fact that her victimhood does not negate others' victimhood (such as that of her son, whom she has barely seen since he was born - due to circumstances out of her control, I do not deny that, but still -, and whom she then forces to move to Canada AGAINST HIS EXPLICIT WISHES, against the wishes of the people who RAISED HIM FOR HER FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, and refusing to even let him finish school first). If she had been somewhat more self-aware, I'm sure I would have found her more sympathetic and the memoir better to read, but alas.
Lastly, some small, but still bothersome details, were the fact that there were issues with typos and punctuation at times (such as forgetting the opening or closing quotation mark in a quote), and that Mandarin was at times used unnecessarily clunkily (do you really have to say "ni hao, ni hao (hello, hello)!"?). Also, I found it kind of odd, and quite representative of a wider attitude Tia seems to have, that her father and paternal grandmother are referred to as Baba and Nai nai, thus with the Chinese titles, while her mother, for the entirety of the memoir, is referred to as Mother, thus effectively singling her out.
This memoir definitely still has merit, and I do not discourage anyone from reading it, but these were issues that I felt important to point out, as much of the knowledge (such as the issues with Falun Gong) come directly from my studies and thus are not something I can presume to be common knowledge among readers more generally.
September 19, 2025
Mao’s Cultural Revolution, with its brutal and rapidly shifting prohibitions, its work camps, and sudden disappearances of the non-pure in ideology, its loudspeakers blaring constant propaganda, its dehumanizing outlook on life generally— Dancing Through the Shadow provides an epic historical background worthy of the best war fiction.
But author Agnes Bristow is just getting started.
We follow—often breathlessly—as Tia and her family unsuccessfully flee Beijing before the country closes to outsiders. We see Tia and her husband’s nearly endless struggle to get out of China and find a home in the United States and then Canada. We see skirmishes with language barriers, bureaucracy, unfriendly fellow passengers. We feel the tension with their son, who refuses to leave China and live in the new world his parents have so laboriously prepared for him.
We witness, up close, a creative life in the midst of political upheaval, brought to lively animation by Bristow’s considerable skill as a storyteller. There is not a page in this book that does not beckon to be read quickly and then turned over at once to bring the next into view. At nearly 500 pages it goes surprisingly quickly.
Such grim reportage runs the risk of dwelling too long on the turmoil of Mao’s regime. Instead, Bristow keeps the attention squarely on Zhang’s family and the struggles wrought by this storm. No doubt contributing to this immediacy is the author’s decision to write the whole book in the first-person voice, as if from Zhang herself, in what appears to be an authorized as-told-to memoir.
This detail makes the reading a little confusing, in that readers may have a hard time determining exactly who wrote the book. The Introduction clears up the confusion, but a brief note or subtitle on the cover might help. Also helpful would be some notice of where Zhang finds herself today.
Fans of family dramas will find the story fascinating, especially those who love to read about the intersection of domestic life with political convulsion.
Dancing Through the Shadow: A True Story of Survival and Courage Under Mao’s Brutal Regime works as an adventure story, a family chronology, and a very personal first-person biography. But it shines best as a testament to the courage and endurance of Tia Zhang, a commendation ably made by the author.
It should be read by every partisan of human endurance.
But author Agnes Bristow is just getting started.
We follow—often breathlessly—as Tia and her family unsuccessfully flee Beijing before the country closes to outsiders. We see Tia and her husband’s nearly endless struggle to get out of China and find a home in the United States and then Canada. We see skirmishes with language barriers, bureaucracy, unfriendly fellow passengers. We feel the tension with their son, who refuses to leave China and live in the new world his parents have so laboriously prepared for him.
We witness, up close, a creative life in the midst of political upheaval, brought to lively animation by Bristow’s considerable skill as a storyteller. There is not a page in this book that does not beckon to be read quickly and then turned over at once to bring the next into view. At nearly 500 pages it goes surprisingly quickly.
Such grim reportage runs the risk of dwelling too long on the turmoil of Mao’s regime. Instead, Bristow keeps the attention squarely on Zhang’s family and the struggles wrought by this storm. No doubt contributing to this immediacy is the author’s decision to write the whole book in the first-person voice, as if from Zhang herself, in what appears to be an authorized as-told-to memoir.
This detail makes the reading a little confusing, in that readers may have a hard time determining exactly who wrote the book. The Introduction clears up the confusion, but a brief note or subtitle on the cover might help. Also helpful would be some notice of where Zhang finds herself today.
Fans of family dramas will find the story fascinating, especially those who love to read about the intersection of domestic life with political convulsion.
Dancing Through the Shadow: A True Story of Survival and Courage Under Mao’s Brutal Regime works as an adventure story, a family chronology, and a very personal first-person biography. But it shines best as a testament to the courage and endurance of Tia Zhang, a commendation ably made by the author.
It should be read by every partisan of human endurance.
October 11, 2025
“Dancing Through the Shadow” is a visceral and poignant short story that depicts the aftermath of trauma and the subtle journey toward healing. It centers on a woman struggling with the death of her child and the disintegration of her marriage, all while navigating the haze of grief and self-doubt. The narrative unfolds through her internal thoughts and brief encounters, drawing the reader into the protagonist’s anguish, confusion, and eventual hint of renewal.
The prose is lyrical yet grounded, featuring moments of vivid clarity that pierce through the fog. The story does not rush toward resolution—it allows the pain to persist, honouring the slow rhythm of recovery. The theme of dancing is woven in with delicate sophistication, representing movement, a reconnection with the body, and the tentative steps toward hope.
What truly resonates is the raw emotional truth. This isn’t a tale of grand gestures or simple solutions—it’s about enduring, one breath at a time. The conclusion, though subdued, conveys a sense of forward momentum and regained agency.
In a matter of pages, “Dancing Through the Shadow” offers a compelling reflection on grief, resilience, and the body's part in healing. It’s personal, aching, and ultimately—just enough—optimistic.
Try it.
I received a free copy of this book via Plot Twist Ink & WPR and am voluntarily leaving a review.
The prose is lyrical yet grounded, featuring moments of vivid clarity that pierce through the fog. The story does not rush toward resolution—it allows the pain to persist, honouring the slow rhythm of recovery. The theme of dancing is woven in with delicate sophistication, representing movement, a reconnection with the body, and the tentative steps toward hope.
What truly resonates is the raw emotional truth. This isn’t a tale of grand gestures or simple solutions—it’s about enduring, one breath at a time. The conclusion, though subdued, conveys a sense of forward momentum and regained agency.
In a matter of pages, “Dancing Through the Shadow” offers a compelling reflection on grief, resilience, and the body's part in healing. It’s personal, aching, and ultimately—just enough—optimistic.
Try it.
I received a free copy of this book via Plot Twist Ink & WPR and am voluntarily leaving a review.
July 5, 2025
I have such a heart for anyone who has lived through communism—or is still going through it—and Dancing Through the Shadow brought me to tears more than once. As a mother, the parts about her son especially hit home. I cried. I felt her pain. And I felt her strength.
Tia’s story is not only powerful—it’s all true. It’s incredible to witness what she’s survived and how she transformed that pain into purpose. Her journey from oppression to freedom, from trauma to triumph, and ultimately to becoming a key part of Shen Yun is beyond inspiring. And now, she’s being recognized for it—recently receiving the King Charles III Coronation Medal in Canada for her outstanding contributions to arts, culture, and community.
She is so resilient. So strong. And truly, all women are. This book is a reminder of that. If you’re looking for something that will move your soul, wake your heart, and remind you of the power of truth, perseverance, and light—this is it.
Tia’s story is not only powerful—it’s all true. It’s incredible to witness what she’s survived and how she transformed that pain into purpose. Her journey from oppression to freedom, from trauma to triumph, and ultimately to becoming a key part of Shen Yun is beyond inspiring. And now, she’s being recognized for it—recently receiving the King Charles III Coronation Medal in Canada for her outstanding contributions to arts, culture, and community.
She is so resilient. So strong. And truly, all women are. This book is a reminder of that. If you’re looking for something that will move your soul, wake your heart, and remind you of the power of truth, perseverance, and light—this is it.
July 29, 2025
A very powerful read about one woman life in China and how the government had an impact on her life. Her husband was taken away as her baby as well. Follow her and see how strong she really is
I received an advance copy from hidden gems and a really powerful read
I received an advance copy from hidden gems and a really powerful read
October 22, 2025
Shen Yun is a part of the Falun Gong cult
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews