I'm Not Christian Adler: A Dark MM Romance

by Eli Merina

Reuben can see the emotions of others.
And Christian's emotions are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
One look and he doesn't just surrender...
He hands himself over without looking back.

'Christian' isn't human.
But shapeshifting is easy, letting go isn't.
Even if it's a lie, he'll do anything to keep Christian Adler's memory alive.
But nothing escapes Reuben's eyes.

Please review the warnings and triggers before reading, as I'm Not Christian Adler is a dark romance and contains strong themes of violence along with other sensitive content.

Genres: Dark Romance, M M Romance, Fantasy, Crime, Found Family, Dark, Science Fiction

467 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 10, 2025

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

My heart is broken, I am beyond devastated. 💔

When I saw the opportunity to read an ARC of this book I figured why not? I'd never read a book like this before and it sounded unique and like something I would enjoy. I did, very much so. Now I just need the second book to come out and mend my broken heart, because I refuse to accept that this is how it all remains! There is no way that my heart has to remain broken. I know somehow, some way Reuben and 'Christian' will find their way in the chaos. The storm will end and everything will be right again. Right? At least I hope so. 🤞

I did not like Reuben at first, I thought he was unnecessarily violent and chaotic. But he grew on me. His character went from being despicable to being loveable in a short few chapters for me. As he fell harder and harder for 'Christian' I found more reasons to like him. He's ruthless and yet he's got a soft side to him that only comes out for the ones he cares about - in certain moments. The man is a force to be reckoned with. His loyalty to his family and his men was a constant plus in the "reasons to like Reuben" column as I read his journey.

As for 'Christian' there was nothing he could do that would make me dislike him. He's selfless, sweet and genuine from the very moment he appears. His confusion at the most basic of human activities is endearing. His walk through his grief broke my heart again and again, but also made me connect to him in ways I didn't think it should be possible with a fictional character. He's a sweetheart and I will fight anyone who says one bad thing about him.

I loved every minute of their story. To me it felt like more of an action novel than a romance, but I had an incredible time unraveling everything that was happening. The chaos, the camaraderie and the love that was displayed definitely make this a book I'll be thinking about for a long time to come. I'll say it again, I need the second book to come out to mend my broken heart and I will be waiting for its announcement with bated breath.

[Rach · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was completely insane I’m obsessed and I need book 2 expeditiously. It ended and I felt like I got shot

[Bri_Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a new favorite author! Eli Merina’s “I’m not Christian Adler” had me absolutely enthralled from beginning to end. The premise of this book was intriguing enough, but the way that Eli transports you into their world is insane! It felt like I was there, living through everything with the characters. When they were anxious, I was biting my nails, when they were happy, I’d find myself smiling like a madman. And when they were enraged, I had to put the book down and pace to calm myself!

Merina’s writing style is so immersive and engaging I had to fight myself to put the book down! I especially loved her portrayal of the characters. Getting to know each character, their roles, their relationships, and being able to watch their growth as the story progressed was amazing. ‘Christian’ is my favorite; not because he’s the main character, but because he embodies the confusion, confliction, and heartbreak of trying to find your own place when you don’t even know who you are. A very relatable character for self-discovery and found family.

The story itself leaves nothing to be desired (except a sequel!). The trigger warnings for this book are 100% accurate, so I strongly advise adhering to them. However, if you can handle the sensitive topics touched on in this novel, then it makes for an amazing read. This story left me astounded so many times; my expectations were always subverted.

I also love how, even though there was always so much going on with all the action, suspense, and plot twists, the main characters’ relationship was always progressing. Even at times when it definitely shouldn’t have 😉. The way that Reuben fell for 'Christian' immediately was hilarious. But the way he continued to fall further, the way he softened and cared for him really had me giggling and kicking my feet. It only got better as their relationship progressed. That cliffhanger broke my heart but I'm so ready for more of them and their love in the sequel.

This is my first time reading her work, but I will 100000% be back for more. I can’t wait for book 2!

[Crex · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly didn’t expect to love this book as much as I did like, at all. From the very first page to the very last, I was completely hooked… right up until it ended and I realized there’s a book 2 and it really just stopped like that 😭

From the beginning, with Reuben’s one-sided crush on Christian, the tension and chemistry were already there. Then when Christian finally figured out his feelings? The tension somehow got even worse. It genuinely felt like I was intruding on something private. Their intimate scenes had me wanting to slap Reuben sometimes but Christian clearly wasn’t complaining, so I minded my business.

I loved the friendship, the quarrels, the fights, and the way they actually dealt with the consequences of their actions. At one point I started thinking Christian isn’t liked enough by this author because my guy suffered more than the mafia characters themselves.

Even after the shapeshifting, the chemistry between Reuben and Christian didn’t disappear, which I loved. Reuben’s love for Christian honestly drove me insane in the best way. He wasn’t just obsessed, he was soft for him, and that ruined me.

I usually hate long books, but I sat down and devoured this one. I’m genuinely looking forward to book 2. I just wish Aster didn’t have to go he deserves his own book. I still have beef with Xavier, but… all is forgiven (for now).

[Santina Blair · Rating 4 out of 5]

This ARC read left me reeling. The prologue with the Adler Squad honestly threw me at first — chaotic, bloody, and without much context. I actually felt a bit lost. But once the story settled into Beau’s POV, everything started to click, and from there I couldn’t stop reading.

Tropes you’ll find here: dark romance, forced proximity, slow burn (a very intense one), found family, found identity, shapeshifters, and yes… it’s spicy. Very spicy 🥵🌶️🌶️🌶️

Beau (living in Christian’s skin) and Reuben absolutely broke me. Both men are killers, hardened by mafia life, yet written with such tenderness. Reuben’s love for Beau isn’t about appearances…it’s about Beau’s emotions, his kindness, his aura. That hit me straight in the chest.

Favourite quote:
“Who’s going to keep me together if I put space between us, Estrelito, my star? My heart hurts, it hurts, but it’s better that we do this now before you become more attached to me.”

That line gutted me 🥹longing, love, and heartbreak all wrapped in one.

The action is nonstop, the twists kept me on my toes, and the ending? Brutal. A cliffhanger that makes me desperate for book two.

⚠️ Content warnings: Blood/gore, torture, dubious consent, sexual assault, mafia violence, human trafficking, kidnapping, church defilement. It’s dark, so go in prepared.

If you love dark, action-heavy MM romance with mafia drama, spice, and aching tenderness in between the violence, this is one to grab. I can’t wait for the next book ♥️

[Bethkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG I couldn't put this ARC down! I was even sneaking a read at work! The dynamics between 'Christian' and Reuben just had me sucked in kicking my feet in giddiness! And the story kept me captivated right from the beginning! I loved the paranormal approach on a mafia story and found it delightful to see how dark yet niave beau is yet how deadly protective he can be for those he cares about... and to see how soft badass Reuben gets for his 'baby', how in tune he can be... I literally want to jump in to the next story. please tell me there's going to be a second!!

[Tennille Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC for this book. I am leaving this review of my own free will and I have not been compensated to do so in any way. Now onto the review... I was cussing the author from the first 7 pages. I cried, I sighed, I laughed, I mourned. If I could feel it, I probably did with this book... It is so well written and such an interesting theme. I love it so much and I'm ready for book 2. Please, hurry and release it by next year. Or I'll fight you, Miss Eli. Great work. You deserve millions in sales and being on ever best seller's list. Cheers to the next one.

[Desiree Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

ELI!!!!!!! What did you do to me????? Whyyyyy??? Oh my gosh. Going into this story, I did not expect to get so attached and roped in. I need more!!! 1,000/10 recommend giving this a read!! This will haunt me till we get book 2!!

[Rαιɳ · Rating 3 out of 5]

More 2.5 than 3stars

[Lise · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are a bit tired of the typical romantasy and need a palate cleanser this shifter, marfia, sci-fi, MM romance is the books you need to read. I read around 200 books a year (mostly fantasy and dark romance) and for me it was so refreshing to read a book that have new ideas instead of just retelling the same old story using overused tropes.
The book is for the most part well-paced and i like the relationship between the two MMCs.
At times it is a bit too action packed for my liking, but the action also means that the book is never boring. I was truly entertained from start to finish.

I was very close to giving the book 4 stars but ended up on three for the following reasons.
There was some conversations and scene where i could not follow the logic or emotions. This left me a bit confused at times, but it was luckily not enough to take away from the overall plotline.
I also had a problem with one of the villains. I had a difficult time wrapping my head around how a serial killer had the backing he had, in the serial killing part of his life. To me that didn't make sense.
I personally would have liked it better if the shift ability had been used a bit more thought out the book.
All this being said, I did enjoy reading the book. Will I read book 2? YES, definitely!
I received this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Lucinda Vermeulen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eli Merina delivers a dark, high-stakes blend of mafia drama, paranormal shapeshifting, and MM romance. The story of betrayal, resurrection, and revenge is bloody, cinematic, and charged with tension. Reuben and “Christian” are compelling opposites, their chemistry sparking amid chaos and grief.

That said, the prose can be indulgent, the pacing at times overwhelming, and dialogue occasionally leans into melodrama. The heavy reliance on extreme content (torture, dubious consent, trafficking) won’t suit everyone, but it’s upfront in the warnings.

For readers who crave gritty, violent, and emotionally raw dark romance, this book will stand out. It’s flawed but fearless, ambitious, shocking, and unexpectedly tender at its core.

[Kylie Weigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uhm okay this was like the perfect mix of Supernatural meets Lucifer with the right balance of Mafia and love.

We all have pets that we tell secrets too, ones we feel can sense things, understand us - that is Beau. A black cat that happened upon an event that altered his life and gave him a home, home he found in the eyes of the one who saved him. But Beau is not as he seems and despite his feline stature - a set up that wipes out his entire family the Adler Squad, he unveils his secret. He wears vengeance on his sleeve with the intention of creating a legacy for his home - Christian Adler. Taking his newfound anger, he starts for the very man that took away his peace.
After an eventful display of destruction of the traitor, a new member has Beau in his sights; it's not Beau - it's the face of Christian.
A new leader, Reuben, stakes claim to the remaining part of the Adler Squad and takes him into the folds of Taiga, his mafia run by generations and loyalty from the best of the best. Learning human customs and trying to find a way to connect with the people before him without arousing suspicion, he learns slowly that Reuben is more than the man he thinks and he is more than just nothing, more than a shapeshifter with no face, name or home. They fall into a trance of lust and longing, weak for each other but their sole reason to be laser focused may just be their downfall as a mask is unknowingly placed over everyone's eyes.
At a set up, 'Christian' and the Taigas fall into a trap that leaves him honned in and locked - fighting every single body thrown his way, to be the block between the murderer and the family. After being brought out of his stupor, his secret can no longer remain - before succumbing to his injuries he manages a series of commands to Reuben and Reuben despite the insanity of it obliges. After hours, 'Christian' awakes but before he can explain himself, he is confronted again by the Taiga family and met with bullets.
A series of murders remains in the forefront of the Taiga Mafia as they cope with the loss at the expense of the downfall of the Harvester and a strain on the love between man and shifter, they find more than they bargained for - an elaborate plan to destroy the family, their legacy and replace it with a ruthless empire. 'Christian' realizes the ruse was all for him, to trap him and become a weapon to be welded and manipulated. Agreeing to the terms to save his family, his second chance - he is determined to right the wrongs that have since plagued him since taking on the face of Christian, of the only person who cared about him until Reuben.

You'll find wonderful elements such as family, acceptance, embracing the parts of ourselves we hide from the world and even everybody needs somebody in whatever form that may be. This is action packed, raw, lust turned to love and what it really boils down to is who has your back, who can you be vulnerable around and the ability to be found, loved, and accepted in all shapes and forms.

[sarah Saliba · Rating 1 out of 5]

This could have been easily a 5-5 stars, but the fact that I had to read 2 descriptive sex scenes of one of the MMC with other people prevented that. It's a big nooooo for me. Nooo!

The 1st scene is at 45%. So we are almost midway through the book and after Reuben has been attracted to Christian since the start of the book. So in this scene, Reuben hooks up with his fix, a guy named Cameron, at a church. The scene is very long, like about 10 pages long on kindle, and very detailed and descriptive; for example "I tease him endlessly, licking and sucking the bundle of nerves in his mouth." Then we have to read in details about Reuben fucking the guy's mouth before spilling on his face. Then, again in details, Reuben jerking off the guy. Then, in details, Reuben fucking the kneeling guy in the ass, without condoms or talk about safety. Then, we are told that the first round ends with Cameron coming on church floor and Reuben emptying balls deep in his ass. Then after that, and in details, we are told how they are kissing on the kneeling platform while Reuben thrusting inside Cameron. Then, we move forward, and we are being described how Cameron is bouncing on Reuben's dick. Oh and did I mention that right before this hook up, Christian gave Reuben a Christmas gift of a hair ribbon, and Reuben actually has it on during this whole hook up? Very romantic I know.

Then after all that, Christian sees Reuben with pink bitemarks all over his neck and the skin beneath his collar.

We are reminded at 54% of that long scene when Reuben is thinking, "I hadn't just spent two days fucking Cameron senselessly." Like we need the reminder of that unnecessary scene. And why couldn't we just had that sentence to inform us that he fucked Camron instead of having to read the grimy details.

The 2nd scene is at 54%. Reuben has siblings kneeling with their hands tied. I have to read few descriptive pages of him forcing his dick into the sister's mouth then into the brother's mouth before finishing onto the brother's face.

Not to mention that at 59% is when Reuben fucks Christian for the first time, in a car, without a condom or a talk about safety. It's not like his dick was in someone's else mouth and ass days ago without protection. That again gave me the ick.

Oh and there is a detailed content warning list which says "Church Defilement", that's it. So, am I a psychic to know that the church defilement is not between the two main characters???!!!!!!

Maybe I'm bitter but I'm really getting frustrated of authors writing descriptive and long sex scenes of main characters with other people. Especially when those scenes don't have a purpose of furthering the plot. Besides that, the book is actually good and I like how Reuben calls Christian "estrellito". So if I forget about those scenes, it is easily 4-5 stars book. But I can't get past reading those scenes. They instantly sour my mood, give me the ick and I just lose interest. and that's what happened here. I don't know if I'll read book 2 when it comes out.

[Migla M · Rating 5 out of 5]

OH. MY. GOD.

I have no words. This book destroyed me, toyed with my feelings, broke my heart time and time again, and then healed me so beautifully, before pulling the gun again. One of the best books, I've read this year, absolutely 100/5 and even more.

The storyline is amazing, so beautifully written and the twists and turns are soo good, I was always on the edge, cause there was so much happening every damn minute. WOW. Every place, character, plot twist are so perfectly woven together, they are were they are supposed to be. And the love story is out of this world. Such pure, innocent;) beautiful, perfect, wonderful story of two people, who are hurting, feeling they do not belong there, but by finding each other they create a safe, peaceful, warm place for one another, make their hearts beat with purpose, with love and belonging. I don't even know what to say more, because words are so failing me right now. You have to read to understand the full capacity of their feelings and love, but the complete trust and understanding between them, that blossomed into something amazing and beautiful is just, wow, mended my heart so so much.

The characters - oh, dear god, there are so many characters that I love so so so much (First is of course Christian/Beau and Reuben), and so many that I hate with my whole being, and some that I am in conflict with. And that is such an amazing thing about this book - you're being thrusted into such complicated emotions and feelings, making rethink your morals, only because you understand why someone did something, but still it aches and you're so pissed with them for what they did. My heart hurt so much for some characters, and I cried so hard. I still feel like my heart has been broken to million pieces, then left to rot in the damp, taken out to only broke it again...

This book is a perfect balance between pain, sorrow, loss and joy, love, warmth. One minute I'd be giggling and kicking my feet, the other I'd be bawling my eyes out. This book is a masterpiece! Loved it so so much. And that ending. Aghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted so to scream (couldn't cause it's quite late at night), but ugh, I so want to protect my lovelies from all the pain, that they've been through. Can't believe I thought everything was fine. It is not fine.

But! The spice, was spicing, so! Add that as well to this beautiful mix.

I'm so glad I had the opportunity to arc read this book. In love!

Everyone who loves heartwrenching, gutchurning moments in the book, that are also filled with so much warmth, and understanding, and love, and belonging, and found family, shifters and MAFIA then you are HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK IMMEDIATELY!

[Inara Reads Dark and Twisted · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not Christian Atler. When I was offered the opportunity to ARC read this book, I didn’t think twice—I said yes immediately. There were two reasons for that: first, because this book was already on my radar and I had been looking forward to it for a while, and second, because the plot sounded so unique and refreshing. Honestly, I had never read a shapeshifter MM mafia romance before, and the idea instantly caught my attention.

From the very first pages, the story managed to captivate me completely. It pulled me in without hesitation, and I knew I was going to enjoy every second of it. Beau’s story, in particular, touched me deeply. It went straight to my heart, and the message behind it felt so real and relatable that I couldn’t help but identify with it 100%. It’s rare to find a book where the emotions hit that close to home, and this one definitely achieved it.

The book is full of action, unexpected subplots, and plenty of tension between the protagonists. That tension is one of the highlights for me—it’s written in such a way that every scene between them feels charged, almost electric. I loved that the romance is a true slow burn. The author takes her time to build the relationship naturally, letting us witness every step, every spark, and every unspoken word between them. The chemistry is undeniable, and that build-up made their connection feel even stronger and more believable.

Another thing that stood out to me is how easy the writing is to follow. Even though the book is relatively long, it never felt heavy or overwhelming. On the contrary, I flew through the chapters without realizing how many pages I had already read. The author’s style is engaging, immersive, and makes the whole experience feel effortless, which is something I always appreciate in longer books.

What I also loved is that this isn’t just a romance—it has layers. There are moments of action, moments of vulnerability, and moments where you can clearly see the complexity of the characters and the world they live in. That balance kept me hooked from start to finish, and I never once felt bored or tempted to put it down.

Overall, this book has been a truly enjoyable read for me. It kept me engaged, entertained, and emotionally invested the whole way through. If you’re someone who enjoys mafia romance, I honestly think you should give this book a chance. It’s different, it’s original, and it definitely delivers. I have no doubt it will surprise you in the best way possible, and I don’t think it will disappoint anyone who decides to pick it up.

[Jurnee Mccarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where to start with this review, I honestly don’t even know. Because this book absolutely blew my mind. I am at a complete loss for words.

This book was unbelievably unique, it was beautiful. I absolutely loved the shapeshifter aspect. Because it’s not the typical shapeshifter that you’d expect. But you’ll have to find that out for yourself. Christian Adler totally isn’t what you expect. I am absolutely in love with his character. He has such a profound sense of character. There was so much depth and emotion to him. I loved it. He’s the sweetest and purest human being ever. He honestly can be so clueless sometimes, it’s absolutely adorable.

Reuben is my favorite, shh don’t tell anyone I said that. But he has to see what everyone feels all of the time. I mean he totally loves that, but sometimes I feel like it can totally be rough on him. He has so much confidence and control. He can be totally unpredictable but I like that about him. Who doesn’t like a little bit of mystery in your life. My lord this man is fire. I am in absolute love with him, again shh don’t tell anyone lol, because I absolutely love Christian too.

I loved Reuben and Christian’s connection and love they have for each other. It is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. It definitely wasn’t easy to get there and Christian has a hard time accepting his love.

This book takes you on a total fu*king ride. It had twists and turns that I truly did not see coming. I absolutely can’t wait for the next book. Because I need my answers! Eli Merina totally outdid herself. Because this book absolutely blew my mind. And I love it so much.

[Brittany Affeldt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m Not Christian Adler is an addictive blend of dark fantasy and mafia romance, driven by themes of identity, grief, and forbidden love. The story follows a shapeshifter who loses everything he once called home. In desperation, he steals the identity of Christian Adler and infiltrates the mafia—not only to exact revenge but also to carry forward the legacy of the people he lost.

What makes this book so compelling is how it balances sharp action with raw emotion. The shapeshifter’s double life is tense and dangerous, every moment weighted with the risk of exposure. Yet amid all the lies and bloodshed, an unexpected love blossoms—between him and the mafia heir. That relationship adds depth and tenderness to a narrative otherwise steeped in revenge, creating a push-and-pull between deception and desire that keeps you hooked until the end.

The moral complexity is one of the strongest aspects of the novel. The protagonist isn’t just fighting enemies on the outside—he’s battling the part of himself that wants to keep hiding, even from the man he’s falling for. By the time he faces the choice between clinging to the charade or revealing his true self, readers are fully invested in the outcome.

If you enjoy dark romance with a supernatural twist, stories about found identity, or narratives where love emerges in the most dangerous of places, I’m Not Christian Adler will leave you breathless and questioning what it really means to be seen.

[BookboundandBlushed · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Unique Premise with Room to Grow

I’m Not Christian Adler is not your typical dark romance. It blends shifter fantasy with mafia elements and delivers an M/M romance at its core. The premise is certainly intriguing, a cat who lives among a crime family, witnesses their murders, and then shifts into the leader to carry on their legacy. From there, the story unfolds with Reuben falling in love with Christian, the head of the family, while wrestling with secrets, shifting, and loyalty.

The romance itself was engaging, and the book kept me turning the pages. However, I found myself wishing for more development in a few areas. The shifter element was a great hook, but after the opening scenes it felt underused until the very end. Similarly, the serial killer subplot was compelling but came and went quickly, almost like filler, rather than being fully integrated into the main storyline. There were also some plot holes that distracted from the otherwise unique and ambitious concept.

That being said, the writing style kept me invested and the cliffhanger ending does its job, I’m intrigued enough to continue on to book two. This series has a lot of potential, and I look forward to seeing how the author builds on these ideas in the next installment.

Bookboundand Blushed
Sonya

[Megan Garnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

**ARC Review**

HOLYYYYYY CRAP. I’ll never stop telling everyone and anyone to read this! Im obsessed.

I wasn’t sure about this book as it was my first shifter romance but OMG did it amaze and consume me!! I kept falling more and more in love with the characters. I cried, I laughed, I made a million highlights in my kindle.

This story was so unique and absolutely beautiful. For those wondering, it follows a shapeshifter who shifts into the body of his former owner/teammate in a mafia. He was a cat at the time and they took him in, more specifically Christian did, and he loved them. In turn, he took Christian’s form and ended up being sent to work for the Taiga family with another team. At some point, they begin chasing a serial killer and soooo much happens. I don’t want to spoil anything so I’m gonna stop there.

Absolutely amazing! I cannot freaking wait until the second book!!

My fav quotes:

“Do I look like a man that needs protecting, Christian?”

“The adults are talking, Olsen.”

“Within the last fifteen minutes, I’ve gone from hopeless nymphomaniac to spiteful asshole to lovesick fool. All while telling myself I wouldn’t chase Christian Adler.”

“And it’s the moment I finally realize it. That I might…love you.”

“Ugh. I would have done it even if you hadn’t tried to fucking seduce me.”

[V. Blackwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark, emotional, and impossible to put down.

I’m Not Christian Adler hooked me from the very first chapter. Eli Merina doesn’t hold back—the story is brutal, bloody, and heartbreaking, but it’s also layered with tenderness, loyalty, and found family. The mafia and shapeshifter elements are blended so seamlessly that it feels fresh and unpredictable, and the writing pulls you right into the chaos of the Taiga family.

Christian’s story is devastating, but what really gripped me was the way grief, identity, and vengeance were explored. The plot twists are shocking, the pacing is sharp, and the emotional weight is heavy in all the best ways. I especially loved how the author built a cast of flawed, dangerous, unforgettable characters that you can’t help but root for.

And let’s just say it: Christian Adler owns the page. He’s magnetic, dangerous, infuriating, and completely unforgettable. Half the time I was clutching my chest from the heartbreak, and the other half I was ready to throw myself at him like a shameless fangirl.

This is not a lighthearted romance—it comes with dark themes (the content warnings are there for a reason)—but if you’re looking for something gritty, unique, and full of intensity, this book delivers.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tropes:
〰️ Mafia Romance
〰️  Shapeshifter
〰️ Found Family
〰️ Serial Killer Hunter

𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔. 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒚. 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍, 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰’𝒅 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕.


Review: This was such a wonderful palate cleanser. I'm not Christian Adler is Shifter Mafia Romance that is pack full of action. 'Christian' and Reuben were written was so much thought. Christian was not what I was expecting. He is dark and morally gray but at the same time completely sweet and caring and has such deep emotions. He had me feeling so much along with him. As well as being a Shifter and trying convince everyone he is human and Christian Adler. Then theres Reuben I won't lie I wasn't sure how I felt with him at first let's say all the way up until the Church scene. After that once things actually started with 'Christian' my view on him changed. The man is a completely dark wild card but is so soft and sweet when its come to C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶i̶a̶n̶ his baby.

This was pack full of action and surprises. I was hooked from the start. I had quite a few different emotions while reading this story and I already need more!!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg, where to begin....I read this in a day because, I just couldn't put it down!

I absolutely loved the MMCs Reuben and 'Christian'. However, my heart truly hurt for them and everything 'Christian' felt like he had to do for his original team (The Adler Team) and to keep their legacy alive. From the very beginning, all he wanted was a home and he'd stop at nothing to protect what that was for him.

The team under Reuben (Xavier, Gabriel, and Tobias) altogether created this unit that, although not perfect, were better together and it took awhile for them all to realize this and they wouldn't have done so without 'Christian'.

I loved all the mafia boss action tied into the story that kept making you turn the page to see what happened next.

There is some spice in this but, I'd say it was more character driven. We see how people react to things they can't always control and the drive to protect their found family at whatever cost. The journey to figure out how complex our emotions are and how the littlest of things can have the biggest impact.

I highly recommend this story but, mind the cliffhanger at the end. I can't wait to read the next book to see what happens and hope that it ends with a much deserved HEA!

[Readbookswithcats · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not Christian Adler is an MM, sci-fi, mafia romance. Christian Adler and his team are betrayed and killed by a friend. Their cat, Beau, enraged, turns itself into Christian in order to clear his name and take revenge. After, still in shock and grief over his dead family, he keeps pretending to be Christian in order to honor his wish to be part of the Don family.
Reuben is the son of the Don, he can see emotions and he is unhinged AF. He meets “Christian” and after “seeing” him, he is immediately attached!
He puts him on his crew and gives him a job.
They grow close, to the point that Reuben would chain Christian down should he try to leave.
“Christian” is warring between honoring Christian and his true feelings.
Soon all hell breaks loose and things get very messy!

OMFG this book!!!! One, I am OBSESSED with “Christian” and Reuben’s relationship. Reuben is so unhinged and obsessed with Christian! He legit tries to fuck him in a serial killers house! 🤣🤣🤣 like, I am crazy for their toxic love!!! 💕

Be warned! There is a cliffhanger of doom! I repeat! A cliffhanger of doom!!! Now I will go have withdrawal!! Bye! 😘

[Liza · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a bit before going to sleep. That’s what I thought yesterday. I finished the book this morning at 7am 🤨

Save to say this was one of the best books I’ve read this year. Why isn’t it a 5 star then you asked? I just don’t like when everyone is dying or a traitor. I have no idea if the second book is already written or of it’s still in the making. If it’s not finished I highly recommend doing something about the last death (please?). Also I hope Reuben doesn’t forget the punishment of his team for that half betrayal.
All in all I really enjoyed reading this book (is that a debut?) and I’ve shed a few tears for Beau. Also I just love insane characters and Reuben is definitely that. Back to the last unnecessary death. I’m not one for series. Mostly I read one book of a series and like the characters so much that I don’t want to hear the stories of the other characters. But this one is one of the most interesting characters and deserves his own book. Hence my recommendation for doing something about it in the next one.

I highly recommend this book, hopefully the author can do them justice in the next one.

[Sharon Muthui · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like I've been stabbed and left to bleed to death. I literally just finished this book and I'm so angry at Eli Merina 😭😭😭
Why would you end this book like that? Just why? Knowing very well that you haven't announced, teased or even released the second book!! 😭

Keep in mind, I'm rating this book a 6-star read when I actually don't like shape-shifter romance novels. That should tell you something!!!

When this book started, I loved Christian and Reuben so much. I mostly leaned towards Reuben but still kind of related to Christian/Beau. He just wants to belong and find his home. But that pull and push between him and Reuben on specific chapters had me so angry at them both but mostly Christian 😭😭
That last chapter, I needed to slap him. Actually, put me in a ring with Christian NOW!!! Why would he do that? Why would he make that choice????? Like for once choose yourself, be selfish, fight for what you want (Reuben and his team) and use your capabilities to shift so that I can get my HEA please 😭 I feel like my heart is actually heartbroken but the storyline and how the book is written is so good!!! I just hope book 2 comes out sooner

[ItzYaGirlTiwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

🌶️:5/5
I think this is how people feel when they’re about to go crazy cause tell me the fact that I was even hesitant to read this book and then I read this book and then you tell me it’s a duet. I love this book so much I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I don’t read book 2 .

I love Rueben and it hurts . It hurts so bad that it ended like that and I need this book more than life itself and oh my God like I wish i could do a voice note because I could scream my soul out . Cause fuckkkkkk.

Begging this author to please give me book 2 . Please just give it to me. I need it. I need it so much. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t like that ending. I don’t like it at all and I love Beau so much he’s such a beautiful soul . Their love is so beautiful and just perfect.
Please just give me book two . I don’t think I’m ever gonna go back to who I was before I read this book. I love it that much. It was that perfect. It was just perfect and just everything I want as a person who likes dramatic books, but not too much drama it’s perfect and I wish I could reread it. I want to reread it. I love it.

[Alison turton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an MM mafia, alien, shifter romance and while that may sound like a lot, let me tell you, it works, and it works well. The main character ‘Christian’ is an alien shapeshifter who has the ability to change forms at will. After an unexpected betrayal he joins Reuben (a mafia prince of sorts) and his highly trained decidedly un-merry band of misfits. The story that follows is full of action, heartbreak, self discovery, betrayal, self doubt and of course sexual awakening, as ‘Christian’ works to create a worthy legacy.

There are are 2 sides to the plot, there’s the action filled mafia side, where Reuben and his team (inc ‘Christian’) work to bring down several bad guys working against them and “the family”; and there’s ‘Christians’ self discovery as he tries to figure out who he is and what he likes as an alien experiencing things for the first time.

The connection between Christian and Reuben is instantaneous for Reuben, who, despite having the ability to read people’s emotions, struggles to understand and interpret‘Christians’ emotions. Whereas for ‘Christian’ it’s a more gradual build up of attraction, mainly because it takes him time to recognise what he is feeling as attraction and arousal. But, once he does, be prepared for the spice levels to rise and rise fast .

I’m Not Christian Adler is part 1 of a duet and it ends in what I call a safe cliffhanger, in that, whilst you’ll be ravenous for the next book the cliffhanger is mild enough that it’s not going to drive you to the brink of insanity while you wait for part 2. This was definitely a great book and well worth a read.
Although I read this as an ARC part one is now available.

[chapter.chaserr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my! This book was absolutely amazing! I’m a huge fan of Mafia MM books, but this one? It had a twist I was not prepared for, and yet it was everything I didn’t know I needed in my life.

The characters and their development were phenomenal. I knew I’d love Ruben from the start — your typical broody, Violet Mafia man… but with a twist: he can see different energies and the colors of people’s auras. He grew on me quickly, revealing a soft side I didn’t expect, especially when it came to Christian.

And Christian 😩🖤 — my heart! He’s been through the ringer, and all he wanted was to avenge the Adler squad… and that he did. The way he transitioned from beau to Christian was mind-blowing, and his growth throughout the story was incredible. He literally puts his life on the line multiple times, and I was here for every tense, heart-pounding moment.

This book had me hooked from start to finish, and I am absolutely waiting for the second one because there is no way it can end like that — Ruben would never allow it 🖤

[Camila Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the very first chapter, I’m Not Christian Adler completely hooked me. Eli’s writing voice is sharp, witty, and unapologetically bold, it leaps off the page and pulls you right into the character’s mind.

What struck me most was how raw and real this story feels. The blend of sarcasm, vulnerability, and honesty made the narrative unforgettable. There were passages that made me grin with their perfect irony and others that stopped me in my tracks with emotional weight. Some lines I found myself rereading just to let them sink in.

The perspective is so intimate that it almost feels like eavesdropping on someone’s most private thoughts. It’s messy in the best way, human, fearless, and deeply resonant. That honesty is what makes this book stand out.

This is a bold, heartfelt read that lingers long after you close the book. Highly recommended for anyone who loves character-driven stories that embrace both humor and heartbreak.

[Cera Simum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just, WOW!
I absolutely LOVE this book, and Eli Merina puts quite a spin on my favorite genre, mafia romance... a shapeshifter! Now if you're looking for a book that you're going to hear the same phrases (i.e., he pinched the bridge of his nose) and redundant adjectives over and over again, then this is not your book.
This was a fresh idea with unforeseen surprises along the way. I did get confused before the first chapter (which is not a "prequel,") but persevere because the characters come alive on the pages. This MM romance will make you stay up late to finish. Rueben, the MMC, has such a strong personality that you'll find yourself speaking aloud to him. And his heart is even more powerful! Great supporting characters with their own storylines. Each chapter spun excitement and trouble. This book is spicy. Check for TW. And remember we can look forward to book 2!