A Remarkable Kindness

by Diana Bletter

Through a largely hidden ceremony…four friends discover the true meaning of life.

It's 2006 in a seaside village in Israel, where a war is brewing. Lauren, Emily, Aviva and Rachel, four memorable women from different backgrounds, are drawn to the village. Lauren, a maternity nurse, loves her Israeli doctor husband but struggles to make a home for herself in a foreign land miles away from her beloved Boston. Seeking a fresh start after divorce, her vivacious friend Emily follows. Strong, sensuous Aviva, brought to Israel years earlier by intelligence work, has raised a family and now lost a son. And Rachel, a beautiful, idealistic college graduate from Wyoming, arrives with her hopeful dreams.

The women forge a friendship that sustains them as they come to terms with love and loss, and the outbreak of war. Their intimate bond is strengthened by their participation in a traditional ritual that closes the circle of life. As their lives are slowly transformed, each finds unexpected strength and resilience.

Brimming with wisdom, rich in meaningful insights, A Remarkable Kindness is a moving testament to women’s friendship, illuminating a mostly unknown ritual that underscores what it means to truly be alive.

Genres: Fiction, Israel, Historical Fiction, Jewish, Contemporary, Womens Fiction, Modern

416 pages, Paperback

First published August 11, 2015

About the author

Diana Bletter is the author of the novel, A Remarkable Kindness (HarperCollins). Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women, (written in collaboration with prize-winning photographer Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award. Her self-published memoir, The Mom Who Took Off On Her Motorcycle, has been featured on The Jerusalem Post and www.hairpin.com.
Diana is the First Place Winner of Moment Magazine's Short Fiction Contest. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, International Herald Tribune, Glamour, beliefnet.com, tabletmag.org, The Forward, The North American Review, The Reading Room, Huffington Post and has been anthologized. Her story, "One Kiss, One Baby, One God," appeared in Commentary Magazine, January 2015. She is also First Prize winner of Family Circle Magazine's 2011 Fiction Contest.
Diana grew up on Long Island and attended Cornell University. After graduating with distinction, she went on to work for several newspapers and magazines, including National Lampoon. A wanderer who likes the expatriate life, she has lived in Paris and Rome and now makes her home in a small beach village on the Mediterranean Sea in northern Israel where she and her husband raised six children and an unofficially adopted daughter from Ethiopia.
Diana is a member of a burial circle, and drew on her personal experiences in her novel, A Remarkable Kindness. She participates in a Jewish-Muslim-Druze-Christian women’s group in Israel dedicated to forging connections among women, remaining idealistic about hope for peace in the Middle East – despite all evidence to the contrary. A tomboy who snowboards, climbs trees and participates in sprint triathlons, she also speaks French, Spanish, Italian, Yiddish and Hebrew and is now learning Arabic, committed to speaking as many foreign languages as possible with the same Americano accent.
Find out more about Diana Bletter's writing at www.dianabletter.com.

Reviews

[Raven Haired Girl]

Imperious snapshot of the intricate complexity of living in a slight village in Israel. You are exposed to the truly eclectic mix of people as well as cultures claiming Israel as their home. The challenges of living in this rocky county through war and times of peace, dichotomies and never-ending conflicts are richly described. People living in constant unrest, any given moment can be devastating, Bletter captures the atmosphere present day and its people in a compelling manner.

Exploring Israel through the lives of four American Jewish women via various circumstances electing to relocate to Israel is eye-opening. Their friendship and beliefs serve as a bond as they collectively participate in serving their village as members of the chevra kadisha or burial circle preparing the body for burial in the ritual manner and sit with the body until the funeral. The ritual is halting, and the way it is portrayed leaves you in admiration for those performing the last task to the deceased with incredibly dignity. Bletter did an outstanding job incorporating this aspect into the narrative, extremely respectful and quite affecting.

"Helping a woman give birth was so noisy, filled with moans and screams and commotion. But death was quiet. So calm and unruffled. It was almost as if the mystery of life could be found within that silence."

The four women range in age, circumstances all dealing with personal issues, they really give a glimpse into the many facets of life in Israel. Their day-to-day life, a game of roulette, all dealing with heavier personal issues, an ideologist, another dealing with grief, one looking to escape, and one deeply homesick .

A wonderful story of friendship in a challenging environment. Fantastic insight into culture, traditions, people. Lovely.

Visit Raven Haired Girl for more reviews and giveaways

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Remarkable Kindness tells the story of four women in a small community on Israel's northern Mediterranean coast not far from the Lebanese border. They are drawn together through their common background as American Jewish women living in Israel and their friendship, love, care and commitment to partake in the community's chevra kadisha or burial circle. As they and the other members of the circle prepare the body for burial in the ritual manner and sit with the body until the funeral, we learn their impressions and the complications in their lives.
This book vividly and realistically portrays the women and the other characters in the coastal village and gives us a taste of the different people and cultures that call that area of Israel home. Through the women's stories we discover their changing shapes and colors, their power and energy, their joys and sorrows. The landscape described also reflects contrasts and complications — it is tough as well as mild, its sounds can be soft and sometimes harsh. A Remarkable Kindness brings to life the atmosphere, scenery, smells and struggles of living in Israel through peace and war. The book will resonate with those who live in Israel or have been to Israel and can recall their own impressions and the uninitiated who will learn about the land, the people and customs. It is a 'must read' book for anyone who values friendship and is interested in the Promised Land.
Diana Bletter

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a truly wonderful story. I'm going to have to get my thesaurus to find enough words to describe remarkable. Set in Northern Israel from 2000-2006 this book taught me so much about life love and friendship. With rocket attacks a daily possibility, 4 women live their lives to the fullest. 3 have emigrated from the US and all miss their old friends and families. They help with the death house, preparing women for burial. I love Rachel, Lauren, Aviva and Emily. The story blends so naturally from each of their point of view. I learned so much about Jewish customs and Arab life. A fantastic read that will have you watching the news with a little different view. This has moved right into my top ten books.

[Debbie Rubenstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four women with different backgrounds and reasons for living in Israel find their friendships growing as they act as a burial circle for other women who died in the village in which they live. They learn about spirituality and try to overcome past and present grief.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are books that are hard to get through, not because they are poorly written, but because the subject matter is so difficult. The story of three good friends, Emily, Aviva and Lauren, part of a burial circle in Israel, will speak to your heart. There is much sadness and loss experienced,but the love and friendship are redeeming. I recommend if you want to read a truly moving novel.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one is largely disappointing. I think the author bit off more than she could chew.

The story, which spans a couple of years leading up to the Israel/Hezbollah war in 2006, follows a handful of American women now living in Israel, particularly in a fictional town near the border with Lebanon. Aviva is like the matriarch—she has children old enough to be be in the IDF (in fact, one of her sons died in a terrorist attack.) One of her younger sons, Yoni, is now serving, and he’s in a relationship with Rachel. Rachel, it seems, decided to take some time in Israel kinda like a Jewish odyssey, as she grew up in Wyoming where the Jewish population was scarce. And in the middle of this age range, Emily and Lauren are young mothers with small children. Lauren followed her husband, David, here but still considers Boston to be her home. Emily came after a divorce from her philandering American husband, but her marriage to an Israeli man, Boaz, is also on the rocks.

All of these women join what is called a chevra kadisha: a group of Jews who prepare the dead for burial, according to scripture. In terms of mitzvot, or commandments/good deeds to follow, it’s near the very top, since the dead cannot offer gratitude or repay this honor. Some of Bletter’s chapters chronicle this performance of this mitzvah on a deceased community member, almost giving them the feel of the “prologue” bit to episodes of Six Feet Under. That show centered around a family who ran a funeral home, and each “prologue” would chronicle the final minutes of the person who would then become their client (or the deceased family member/friend of their client? To be technical.)

Bletter’s book isn’t as macabre, but witnessing the tahara ceremony, aka the burial prep, had less to do with her over-arching narrative. Most of these chapters, jumping back and forth between POVs, detailing their jobs or, more often, their love lives. I didn’t really connect with any of the characters. There was a repetition to the stories, almost as if Bletter was writing outlines for a romance series about American Jewish women getting swept up with Israeli soldiers. Otherwise, she touched upon a lot of themes—from Holocaust trauma to war trauma; from the tension of living so near a hostile border to the tensions between religious and secular people; to homesickness, belonging, and various cultural groups cohabiting in one town. But the narrative stayed near the top of the water; it eschewed much by way of depth and complexity. There’s a tragedy at the end, but by that point it lacked gravitas, alas.

The writing was also very pedestrian, and frankly I think HarperCollins did the manuscript a disservice by not giving it a more thorough copy edit.

It’s especially a shame that the chevra kedisha aspect fell flat. As Kirkus said in their review, it could have been the novel’s “thematic center of gravity” but instead “feels more like an awkward vehicle to connect the character’s stories.” Bletter was missing character depth, imho, but if she had fleshed out a religious plotline with some spiritual asides for each of the ladies, it could have worked on a more communal level. Probing what it means to live in a place that is both culturally diverse but martially dangerous; what this level of care for the dead says about the power of life. The potential was there! But alas. Book did not travel that path.

[Nancy Barton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chick Lit in Israel.Who knew!

[Arlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I have read this year. Set in Israel, this book follows the lives of the women of the Burial Circle in Peleg. Each woman is very different and living in a war torn country is hard. But in spite of the harshness of their surroundings these women find a bond that goes beyond sisterhood. Their tending of the dead women in their village teaches them so much about life and living every day to its fullest. I really hated to come to the end of this book as I felt I really knew Aviva, Lauren, Emily and Rachel. I will miss them.

[Asheley T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read my full review HERE at Into the Hall of Books.

This is the story of four women living in Israel that come together to perform a traditional burial ceremony when a women dies in their community. These women are American Jewish women that have all moved to Israel for different reasons and consequently are all a part of the burial circle for different reasons. A Remarkable Kindness takes a look into the lives of Lauren, Emily, Aviva, and Rachel - at how they came to Israel, how they adjust to and enjoy their live in Israel, and how they feel about their part in the burial circle.

I went into this book fairly blindly, to be honest, which is how I love to begin novels. I was mainly interested in the interaction of these women from different backgrounds, how they interact and form friendships when they come together. The author sets this story over about six years, from 2000-2006, so we are really able to get to know each woman over time and see how she connects to the other characters. One follows her physician husband to Israel because he wants to make a difference where he is needed rather than in America, where he is sure to live a more comfortable life. One is in Israel alone, to volunteer and change things and make a difference in the world. One moved there years ago, is a widow, and has lost too many family members to the unstable political and religious military violence. One moves to Israel after a divorce breaks her heart, looking for a fresh start. I grew to adore each of these women, and I was so interested in the things that they loved, the things that broke their hearts, their successes and mistakes, and how they felt about one another. I loved them all. I felt like I could feel them and see them in my head so very well.

The burial circle ceremony is not something that I knew about before this book. Bodies are prepared and cleansed for burial and then watched or protected until they are actually buried, and this is uniquely special because the dead cannot thank them for their service. I loved watching these woman learn this process and in return, grow in their respect for living and for death, and I also loved how this process changed their own lives in unique ways.

It is in between the burial circle scenes that we really learn these characters' stories. I personally learned more about what was going on in this region at the time, and I always enjoy that, plus I learned more about the culture of the different groups of people living there. This book is so wonderfully character-driven and I was caught up in decisions and emotions and friendships and casual interactions with secondary characters. Long before the book ended, I was fully invested and wanted the very best for each woman/family.

I recommend A Remarkable Kindness by Diana Bletter for readers that enjoy women's fiction and readers that enjoy learning about cultures other than their own. This would make a great beach or pool read.

[Betty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four women have found themselves immigrating to Israel, some from idealism, some for love. They come together in a bond that helps them adjust to a culture that is very often not easy. All four join the local hevra kadisha, a burial circle. Being Jewish, I am familiar with the tradition and the blessing one derives from helping someone that cannot return the favor. Upon death, the “burial circle” lovingly and reverently prepares the body for burial. The body must be cleansed and wrapped; and the body is not to be left alone before burial. One cannot perform this precious ritual without being changed themselves.

We slowly get to know these four women: Lauren who moved to Israel after falling in love with an Israeli man, Emily who follows her best friend Lauren there, Aviva whose work brought her there and she chose to remain, and young idealistic Rachel wants to change the world. Some find more than they expected, and some are very disappointed.

The story covers a period of six years. The gaps sometimes confused me, but not horribly so. I just had to look back to the previous chapter for the “date stamp”. Each chapter does begin with a date and year so that helps. I could see the evolution of the characters and how well they did, or did not, adjust to their new homes. I found the varying reactions of the characters to their new home to be very realistic. Israel is a difficult country to adapt to. Life there is difficult. But life there also has its incredible moments that you would not exchange for anything. The women there must be strong and must adapt to loss. Our four women experience many losses – loss of loved ones, loss of innocence, loss of hope, loss of home. I have known women like all four of them.

There is a wonderful variety of “supporting characters” to the story. These characters bring in the elements of multi-cultures, of Holocaust survival, of fatigue from life itself. Some are able to handle the stresses, some cannot. It is a realistic look at people striving to survive under often soul-destroying conditions.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of 4 American women who make aliya to the same small community in northern Israel. It made me cry. It made me think about life in Israel for both Americans who aren't used to the hardships of life under constant stress of the worry of war, and the the life of Israeli's who live life under the constant stress of the worry of war and hate from their Arab neighbors. It made me think about my visits there, my family there, my children, being Jewish...... not so much by what the book said, but by what it brought to the forefront of my thoughts. It also made me think about the rituals surrounding death of a Jew. Not powerfully written, but brought out powerful thoughts for me.

[morninglightmama · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had mixed reactions to this novel. I enjoyed the storylines of the four women at the center of the book, but the storytelling format itself made it challenging to follow along. The inconsistencies in time passage between chapters made it disorienting to know when the next chapter was taking place, as well as the habit of some characters to drift off into interior flashbacks that weren't differentiated in the text also made it difficult to know what was going on. The content of the novel, especially the details about the traditional burial circle experience, was compelling and emotionally evocative.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Told from the alternating perspectives of four American women who made Aliyah and all become volunteers in the burial society in their small town in northern Israel. I put it down about half way through because I felt like every chapter was about who was hooking up with who and the romantic relationships all seemed to be developing too quickly to be believable. But I picked it up again last night and finished it this afternoon. It was a page turner at the end and had some important, interesting, and insightful (though sometimes shallow) messages about life, love, grief, and friendship.

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book follows the complicated lives of women in a costal village in northern Israel. Through the experiences of these women we are introduced to deep themes of love, life, death, grief, war and peace. The author does not spare us any details of their messy lives and relationships and mistakes, but also illustrates the beauty of passion and complication. A must-read for 2015.

[Sharon]

Life is a puzzle and often times doesn't make sense. I really liked the book but found that it made me both happy and sad. Happy that these friends found each other in Israel and did something so powerful as The Burial Group.. Sad on the way it all turned out.. But that's life! I would highly recommend this book!

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the friendships formed by these women. If not for the burial circle, their paths probably wouldn't have ever crossed. I found it easy to relate to the stresses of being a parent, but also loved how different I am from them. I learned a great deal more about a culture and have gained a better understanding.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

**Goodreads First Reads Book**

I don't recall ever reading a book set in modern day Israel. This book really made me feel like I had been there and knew these women. This was a very insightful novel and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I look forward to reading more from Diana Bletter.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is set in a small village in Israel, near the Lebanese border. It follows four women of different ages, all of whom moved from the US to Israel for differing reasons. We learn about the people in that small village as well as the people- Christians, Muslims, Druze- in the surrounding area.

The author brought the people to life, and her descriptions were wonderful.

I found the first part of the book to be a bit disjointed. It seemed more like short stories, not a novel that, if not for a book group, I might not have finished reading. The chapters were titled with the date and the first part of the book skipped months and even years and I found that to be quite distracting. The latter half of the book was more of a continuous story and the time periods were much closer together. Some parts of it were quite emotional.

The chapters involving the burial circle were not dated and that is where all of the major characters were together. The title of the book comes from that burial circle, but I found that the lives of these women and what they were dealing with in Israel was the major emphasis of the book.

[Mina Alhadithi]

If it’s anywhere else in the world I’m sure I’d like it more.. this was a random pick from a random place and yeah I’ve decided to give it a chance while leaving judgements aside after reading the first few pages.
Self reminder: NEVER forget to scan every book that catches your eyes before buying/borrowing it.

[Sandee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I continued to read this book hoping it would get better, but sadly, for me, it didn’t. Hopped all over the place with character descriptions and took forever to go anywhere, but for me it went no where. Sort of sappy.

[Liisi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book that covers tough subjects. opens feelings and thoughts one might not have known they had. it invokes a sense of life in the readers mind and heart. it may not be an easy read. it may seem easier to quit reading. there may seem like a plotless book instead of an intriguing story.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book fascinating. I learned so much.

[Diane Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four Jewish American women live in Israel and share their lives. Learned a lot

[Annemarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Different insight

From page one I got to meet interesting characters, who made me understand better what it is like to live with the threat of war every day.

[Ryan McKee · Rating 1 out of 5]

was so close to being a DNF

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned quite a bit about the Jewish culture & the traditional ritual for the caring of a person after death while also reading about 4 friends & their lives.

[Perlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very touching and realistic peek into another life. The story revolves around the people in a small seaside town in the north of Israel, and brings you into contact with the panoply of Israel's people -- Indian, Holocaust survivors, Americans, Mizrachi, Ethiopian. The story is authentically Jewish, even though none of the characters are 'religious'. The descriptions of the chevra kadisha's work were deeply moving, and the fear that moves into the hearts of a solider's family was familiar and real.
A few clunky phrases here an there, but what a great story. Highly recommend!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am happy I persevered and finished this novel. The story is bittersweet but satisfying. Sometimes the best things in life are like that.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Remarkable Kindness is a fascinating and moving book. Four American women end up living in a small town in Northern Israel, just ten miles from the Lebanese border. The story takes place from 2000 to 2006, when war is hitting very close to home for them as the Israel-Hizbullah conflict escalates and comes to a head in the summer of 2006. Although the war plays a role in the story, it is truly about the four women, adjusting to life in Israel and coming together with a few local women to join the community's burial circle. A burial circle or herva kadisha, is a group of Jewish men and women who take care of the dead, preparing their bodies according to Jewish tradition for burial. These are the last people to be with the dead before they are buried. They are volunteers and since the dead cannot thank them or give them anything in return, it is considered a hesed shel emet--an act of remarkable kindness. I find I am drawn to stories that explore different religions and cultures and being not at all familiar with Jewish burial circles, I found reading about the rituals engrossing. I will say that having selected this book back in March and then losing my mom in May, I was concerned that I would struggle with reading about death and the time in the burial house. I found however, that the rituals are so respectful and loving, I was moved but not upset by them. In fact, as much as death is a part of the story, it is more about life--changing, growing, loving, and learning to appreciate the life you have.

The four women the story centers around--Aviva, Lauren, Emily, and Rachel are all from America, but they range in age, have different life experiences, and are in Israel for different reasons. Their individual stories are told in between the scenes in the burial house and it is through their interactions with the burial circle that they, and their friendships grow. The author writes each woman in a very real way--they certainly aren't perfect, but they are easy to relate to and I found myself caught up in their lives. The prologue of the book hints of a tragedy and loss to come and I found myself cringing as I moved toward the end, not wanting to read what I knew was going to happen. Still, the end brought closure and I was left with a smile and, admittedly, a few tears. A Remarkable Kindness will appeal to anyone who enjoys well-written women's fiction, Jewish culture and tradition, and stories about friendship and life.

You can see my review and a recipe for a dish (Cucumber and Mint Tabbouleh with Minted Labneh & Avocado) inspired by the book on my blog post: http://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/20...

Note: A review copy of "A Remarkable Kindness" was provided to me by the publisher and TLC Book Tours in return for a fair and honest review. I was not compensated for this review and as always my thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story takes place between 2000-2006. Four American women end up in Northern Israel and, over time, work together in a burial circle. Their lives are so different and they each have their own trials to deal with.

Lauren met David in Boston and they got married when she got pregnant. They now live in Israel and Lauren is conflicted as she loves her husband and children but is very homesick and would love to return to Boston. Lauren and Emily knew each other in Boston. Emily moved to Israel after her divorce to get a fresh start. She marries a guy completely different from her first husband but it doesn't take long for her to question that decision.

Aviva has lived in Israel for quite a few years. She's lost her husband and a son and is terrified of losing another one. Rachel moves over from Wyoming and it doesn't take long for her to start dating Aviva's son, Yoni. Yoni is a soldier and it's tough on her not knowing if she'll see him again each time he leaves.

Like life, this book is filled with ups and downs. There are some very happy, joyful times and some very sad, painful times. Lauren was my favorite character. She was the most grounded and her life seemed to be the happiest to me. It wasn't perfect but she felt peace with the decisions she made and tried to help her other friends through some of their difficult choices. The burial circle brought them all together as they prepared and cleansed women's bodies for burial. It was interesting to see how this act of service affected each of their lives and their relationships with each other.

Israel is a place I would love to visit so I loved learning more about the culture and especially the burial circle. The author includes an interview at the end where she shares that some of the experiences of her characters were based on ones she had herself. The authenticity came through in her writing.

Overall, this is a book I enjoyed! However, there is some content to note. There's some swearing, including a handful of "f" bombs, infidelity and other short, descriptive sex scenes among unmarried couples.

I received a copy of this book to review. My opinion is 100% my own.

Mel's Shelves