I … I … y’all. The end of this book left me speechless with rage and heartache. And anger towards Cecily. And Molly. And Eric (who was a bit character who said exactly one thing in the entire book yet possibly one of the most absolutely insensitive dickbag comments in a book with an ending of lots of dickbag actions).
*deep breath*
Ok. So, legit 5 stars for most of the book. Really appreciated Baker’s historical details of life in the circus, and I really liked the character of Cecily (y’know, until the end but I digress). I thought they did a great job laying the groundwork for how horrible the adoption industry was (and still is) and how traumatizing it was for unwed girls to give up their babies, not to mention the profit and racism that is involved with adoption (and still is - it’s literally selling babies). The forced loss of Cecily’s baby affected her throughout her entire life. She exhibited very typical symptoms of the trauma of losing her baby which was very evident in her entire relationship with her husband Sam.
Hooray! Someone gets it! Adoption is not the unicorns and roses that everyone wants us to believe it is.
Ope, hold on.
So DNA test is given to Cecily without her consent while she is in the hospital with the encouragement of a nurse (ope! But it’s okay, because reasons) because it’s so rare to have 4 generations for this DNA project that the high school kid is doing. There’s a whole section about the buildup to the DNA test results being received and during this time frame, Cecily’s daughter Liz receives a cancer diagnosis after finding a lump, which she hides from both her mother and her daughter until the day before she goes to see a cancer specialist.
I’m going to interject this review for a moment to say that LIZ DESERVED BETTER FROM LITERALLY EVERYBODY.
So part 2 introduces us to another family of a bunch of effed up people including Kate who is a recovering alcoholic, her sister Lana who is pretty much insufferable and their mother Clarissa who effed up a lot in her life (I get it, abusive husband who left her and her daughters after Lana was born because he suspected Clarissa cheated on him since Lana was born “dark”, and then she was disowned by her parents not to mention some other traumas). Whew, lots to unpack there. They also do some DNA tests at the urging of Lana.
So we can all see where this is going. DNA test shows that Cecily isn’t Liz’s biological mother. DNA test also shows that Cecily DOES have a biological daughter and biological granddaughters. And that Clarissa is Cecily’s daughter and that she has African heritage because Clarissa’s dad (Moses, aka Lucky) is black, just as Lana suspected.
And this is where I lost my fucking shit with this book.
So it turns out that Liz is adopted because Cecily was sterilized for being an unwed teenager in the 1930s, and because she’d gotten pregnant by a black man. This sadly checks out for the time period. Cecily had been dating Sam but didn’t want to go further with him because of her forced sterilization.
BUT DON’T YOU WORRY, THINGS HAVE A WAY OF “WORKING OUT”… Cecily and Sam are driving home one night and come across a car accident with a dead man, a dead woman and a baby who miraculously survived *insert eye roll here* so they steal the baby, go through the proper channels and then steal the baby from her biological family after befriending the elderly aunt and uncle (ok, they adopted her legally). KEEP IN MIND this baby was OVER A YEAR OLD and knew her maternal biological family AND HAD A NAME. So naturally Cecily and Sam changed her name, never let her know that she was adopted and never let her be in contact with the biological family that KNEW SHE EXISTED.
All this comes out at the end of the book and Liz’s anger is COMPLETELY GLOSSED OVER by Cecily. It is also completely glossed over by Molly (Liz’s biological daughter) and her asshole son who plays a zero part comes in and tells her that she should be grateful that Cecily and Sam did what they did (fuck that guy). Liz does get to talk to her paternal uncle who is very happy to hear from her, but nobody from her mother’s side even seemed to know she existed so that’s all we get from Liz’s story of, y’know, having her identity be erased by her parents and being lied to by her parents for her entire life WHILE GOING THROUGH TREATMENT FOR CANCER.
MEANWHILE everyone and their fucking mother is celebrating Cecily’s reunion with every single fucking long lost biological relative ever, and nobody seems to give a flying fuck that Liz’s ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE WAS A LIE, AND THAT HER IDENTITY WAS ERASED BY CECILY WHO IS OUT FUCKING CELEBRATING FINDING HER OWN BIOLOGICAL FAMILY KNOWING THAT SHE ERASED LIZ’S BIOLOGICAL IDENTITY AND LIZ DOESN’T EVEN GET A CHANCE BECAUSE MOST OF HER OWN BIOLOGICAL RELATIVES ARE DEAD AND THAT WAS STOLEN FROM HER BY CECILY.
So yeah, I’d give this book zero stars if I could for the absolute fucking audacity of the author to completely gloss over Liz and the way her world literally crashed down on her, while having Liz’s entire family rally around Cecily. Cool story bro.
Editing to add: you know what, I’m not done. At the beginning of the book, Cecily was abandoned by her mother at a young age and it was mentioned throughout the early chapters that she longed for her mother for a couple years (doubtful that she ever really stopped but she stopped admitting it to herself anyway). And despite this LOSS, Cecily STILL decided it was better to lie to Liz about everything. And yet Cecily will still die having known her biological daughter, granddaughters and the relatives on Lucky’s side of the family while Liz will have more questions than answers for the rest of her life thanks to Cecily who is in her 90s and will likely die soon.
I’m sorry, I know this is a fiction book but what the fuck, plz explain to me why I should be at all happy that Cecily got all these happy stories at the end of her life while everyone in Liz’s family is telling her to be grateful.
Ellen Baker, you were sooooo close to getting it, until you didn’t get it at all.