I’m sorry but you cannot convince me I read the same book that everyone else did. There is no way. This was my worst read of the year LOL
Pros:
lots of spice
????
Cons:
crappy spice
literally everything else
The characters were very two dimensional: the heroine is your typical virginal character who bites her pouty lips seductively and the hero is a cocky Adonis with the biggest schlongasaurus ever.
sO oRiGiNaL
Everything went 0 to 60 instantly. There was no forbidden aspect of their relationship except for the fact that the hero is the FMC’s mothers fiancé. He says two things to her, they smush booties, and then he is completely obsessed with her. They bang in the first 45 pages. Where’s the tension??? The longing? The “we shouldn’t do this?” and then do it anyways. I’m not looking for slowburn but a little will they/won’t they angst would have been nice.
The potential mother drama could have been exquisite. She’s written as the most horrible, shallow person ever, except outside of being a bitch, it was almost non-existent. The heroine literally saved a horse and rode her cowboy beside her mothers passed-out-drunk body and ??? nothing.
When it comes to spice, there’s quality vs quantity. This was all quantity. The spice itself was lacklustre and repetitive. It was very much all about him (you cannot convince me someone who JUST had sex for the first time did not need to be prepped more for anal after only a finger and a bullet plug) but she was goo goo ga ga over him anyways. People already have to deal with bad sex from cocky men in real life, let’s not make our fictional stories and men that way too, okay? Also, the advice she got from her best friend was “everyone’s first time is bad, just tell him to watch porn.”
No babes. 🧚♀️that’s the problem🧚♀️
The dialogue also was incredibly cringy:
He grins, and for a moment warning bells go off. Is he fucking gay? I’m not an arrogant person, but I know I look amazing, and he’s more worried about the wine than my tits, which, I’m sorry, are fucking perfect.
- the heroine, wondering why her boyfriend won’t have sex with her, immediately jumping to “he’s gay” instead of considering: he’s not into her, he’s nervous, it’s not the right location, or just flat out just ASKING HIM WHY HE WON’T
“Nah, I ate earlier. I’m vegan now, did I tell you that?” My hand freezes and I look over at him. No wonder he looks so pale and gaunt. The man needs a steak, something bloody to get the color back in his skin.
-I’m not vegan, but there are plenty of alternatives that make up for a meatless diet that are just as sustainable. This is a weak assumption based on zero research and internal biases. Like put some effort into it lol
She’s beautiful, and that’s saying something because you really have to be lovely for me to think that.
-the heroines internal monologue on why she’s a “not like other girls” girl but really is judgey and narcissistic
Like Tess, she’s stunning, but they can’t even begin to compare to Raven. A lone sparkling star in the deep, dark night. That is, if she doesn’t become a whore.
-the hero speaking of the heroine, as if he didn’t bang her after only speaking two sentences to her lmaoooo oops you dropped this: ✨double standard✨
This book was a let down. Sure, it was spicy, but it wasn’t even well written spice. I don’t know if it was the formatting on the KU version or the editor just dgaf, but the sentence structure and dialogue was so poor. The plot did not exist - which let’s be honest, no one’s here for the plot - but when there’s zero substance to any character and cringey moments that really help the argument of “art cannot be separated from the artist”, this was just too insta-lust and insta-obsession for a book of this length. That’s just shitty writing.
1 mediocre sex by two untoasted bagels ⭐️/ out of 5 lol