Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships

by Shireen L. Rizvi, Jesse Finkelstein

Everyone struggles sometimes. This book teaches you what to do about it. The proven skills of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are beautifully presented by two leading experts in this inviting illustrated guide. Whether you want to learn how to manage intense emotions, build healthier relationships, or cope with a crisis, you will find 26 core DBT skills along with decision trees pointing to which ones to try first and what to do next. Impactful graphics show how to use each skill step by step, including realistic examples. With warmth, clarity, and humor, this book puts science-based skills like Wise Mind, Validation, Problem Solving, and Radical Acceptance within anyone’s grasp--and sets you on the path to a more confident, balanced, and fulfilling life. It is an ideal stand-alone resource or therapist recommendation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Health

158 pages, Paperback

Published November 4, 2025

About the author

Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She obtained her BA from Wesleyan University and her MS and PhD from the University of Washington. At the University of Washington, her mentor was Dr. Marsha Linehan, the developer of DBT. Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT. From 2009-2014, Shireen was Professor of Clinical Psychology at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) at Rutgers University. She currently serves at Director of Psychology Training and Director of DBT Services and Research at Montefiore Einstein in New York City. Her new book, Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Jesse Finkelstein is available now.

Reviews

[Ally Heiland · Rating 5 out of 5]

read for DBT - really really lovely overview of DBT skills and when/how they should be applied. will be loaning to several people

[Blake Katz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got an advanced copy of this book and it was amazing!! So digestible and easy to read. I recommend that everyone has this book in their library to draw on whenever they need some tips or tricks to handle conflict, stress, or anxiety.

[Steph Mecham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is SUCH a good DBT resource, more so than any other DBT book I've read honestly in terms of its applicability and ease of understanding despite all the many acronyms. Definitely worth a read if you struggle with borderline personality disorder or emotional dysregulation. Or tbh even if you don't, these are just general good life skills to have in handy.

[Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the title and thought, "why not"? I could always use more skills for real life. I will admit to being pretty ignorant about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) so I was curious what this book could teach me. Basically this is an illustrated book that shows the reader how to handle various situations from relationships to managing emotions to dealing with an intense crisis.

It's a straightforward guide that walks the reader through various situations and provides guidance for what might be the best way to address it. Graphics show in a decision tree for the reader to proceed. It is an approachable read, with illustrations and everyday language that does not bog the reader down with the science but rather how one addresses whatever is facing them.

It was okay. Once you get the format of the first few entries you understand what the rest of the book looks like. You can pick and choose and not read all the way through like a "regular" book. I did like that it was very much a "how to" guide rather than how some of these books can end up being very technical/academic with little use for someone who just really needs answers or some sort of way of coping right then and there.

That said, I agree that the material is not new or unique and if you've ever explored self-care/alternative therapies, etc. this probably will not have anything that is new to the reader. But if you are someone who is new or or someone who needs a relatively "simple" guide, this might be a good read.

Borrowed from the library and that was best for me.

[Saul Zelan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world that often seems torn apart by the vocabulary of absolutes, the authors Dr. Rizvi and Dr. Finkelstein have given us an appreciation of complexity. In a world in which people often seem to hear that “A is good, B is evil,” in a world apparently intolerant of divergent perspective, in a world in which aggression often seems to show up as an automatic response to any sort of emotional discomfort, the authors have offered an essential alternative. To encounter a work in which behavior is appreciated as an unfolding of complexity and paradox, difficulty and growth, challenge and (fortunate) misunderstanding is, to me a rare and precious event. Thank you to the authors for your clarity, precision and compassion.

[alicebme · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve used this book on demand every time I’ve had the big feels in the last two weeks, and can I tell you it has been so nice to have a guide to follow instead of trying to remember and use all of my accumulated wisdom. Seriously, if you are exhausted and just need someone to tell you what to do to feel better in the moment, this is nice. I want to make it into wallpaper and have a special room for regulating my awesome self.

[Obnubilación · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pretty short book but pretty easy to understand and apply to normal people.
It's not difficult to read and easy going, drawings are nice and explain the topic amazing!
10/10
Must read for DBT lovers and therapists.

[B K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am surprised that it's missing the STOP skill! Other than that, it's a really helpful refresher!