An inspiring and thought-provoking guide to help you abandon the pursuit of perfection and become comfortable and more confident in your own skin.
Every woman has felt the pressure to be perfect. Whether you’re a “good girl” who constantly strives to put on a perfect front or the “never good enough girl” who finally decides that if she can’t be perfect, she might as well be good at being bad, the impossible quest for perfection inevitably results in stress that impacts everything you do.
Because what you believe determines how you think and feel, Carroll identifies common misunderstandings about others, ourselves, and God and counters these misconceptions with affirming biblical truths that redefine the source of your worth and help you gain confidence and new ways to think about yourself. In doing so, she helps you rework your thought patterns so that misconceptions like “God expects me to live up to His standards perfectly” can be replaced with truths like “God understands our imperfections and loves us unconditionally.”
In this relatable book, Amy shares biblical teachings, personal anecdotes, and transformation exercises that are easy to apply to your daily life. Breaking Up with Perfection will give you the tools you need to break the perpetual cycle of stress that chasing perfection induces, so you can live a life filled with happiness, success, and spiritual fulfillment.
Amy Carroll is gathering a community of women with tender hearts and strong voices, equipping those who want to make a difference for God but fear jumping into culture’s fray.
She’s blazing a path that leads you to: • Listen to others with love so that you can understand even when you don’t agree. • Feel people’s pain with a soft and strong heart, empowering you to respond with healing solutions. • Do good that gives credibility to your words and outshines a thousand clever memes. • Speak into the battle of extremes with gentle confidence and Scripture-grounded wisdom.
A consummate Southern girl, Amy loves words that shape a great story and a challenging idea. She’s the author of Exhale and Breaking Up with Perfect, and a member of the Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and writer teams. She has been interviewed on numerous podcasts, tv shows and radio programs including Focus on the Family.
Amy’s committed to opening up her whole life-- the good, bad and ugly—to teach what she’s learned in pursuit of applying God’s Word. She loves teaching scripture in all its unvarnished glory, while sharing God’s big truths in small, understandable bites.
Traveling the world and hearing how God works in women who attend her events makes Amy’s heart swell with joy. As founder and speaker coach of Next Step Coaching Services, providing one-on-one training for Christian speakers and writers, Amy delights in helping other speakers birth their own messages.
You can find Amy in North Carolina on any given day texting her adult kids, typing at her computer, hanging out with her hunky husband, or trying to figure out one more alternative to cooking dinner.
Having come to realize that from my childhood I tried to escape the stress of what was beyond my control by trying to control my own success through overachieving, this book jumped out at me when I visited a local Christian book store. I needed the read.
My path of burying myself in achievements, tasks and "success" as defined by a resume and society at large has done well for putting me logistically in a good position, but sometimes it makes me hard on myself. More importantly, it makes me hard on others. To try to be a better person, more kind, less judgmental and more merciful, I picked up this book. I'm hoping I can have more realistic standards for my home, my children, my husband and those around me. There is something to being able to achieve, but there is also something to being able to love without conditions, to be gracious instead of measuring and guiding other's behavior.
Sometimes, prayer is more important than society's view of progress. Often, enjoying the blessing is more important than trying to make the situation better. And this book will help me capture more of those moments.
I was given a digital copy of this book to read by NetGalley.
Having read a lot of books with this subject, this is the most thorough and encouraging I've read.
She covers a wide breadth of topics that trying to be perfect affects: striving for a perfect house, how our desires for perfection can damage relationships, putting lists before relationships, how it can be hard to accept help but the importance of doing so for authentic community, and how God’s word shows Him as our help. For all of these topics, she encourages a shift and different point of view. Her honesty and authenticity make it affecting and a great read.
It also includes questions at the end of each chapter for personal reflection, and a Going Deeper section at the end of the book with more specific questions for digging in.
Net iets te Amerikaans en te lang voor mij, maar je voelt het diepe enthousiasme van de schrijfster. Ik heb er best wat aantekeningen bij gemaakt en alhoewel ik misschien op een andere manier perfectionistisch ben dan de schrijfster, heb ik er wel iets aan gehad: het heeft me sowieso opnieuw stilgezet bij de wrijving tussen mijn perfectionisme en mijn geloof. Grappig genoeg zat er ook best wat overlap tussen dit boek en vrouwentraject.
This one is a keeper. Definitely most down-to-earth, approachable and practical book on the subject I have ever read, while feeling like having an honest talk with the best friend (with emphasis on the honest - this book hits home more often that I care to admit!).
You might be the "good girl" caring to impress as her mimicry of choice or the “never good enough girl" hiding her feelings of inadequacy behind the mask - but both of these are just the coping mechanisms of sorts and they might stop us from having real, personal relationship with God and with the others we are sent here on Earth to love. This authoress gets the struggle more than any and shares her way, her knowledge (and even the mess made on the way).
Read this. There is no sugar-coating, but a lot of warmth and a lot of truth. Recommended read.
There is a big conflict in our spiritual lives with understanding that God loves us and we are worthy because of Him, and also full accepting we are wretched and a failure from the get-go since there is nothing we can do to earn God's love, while also knowing we should continually strive to be more like Christ - who is perfect. This book attempts to help us understand and reconcile all those points by reminding us that there is no need to prove ourselves constantly. It touches various subjects but focuses mainly on the importance of relational living. It's a great read and reminder of a lot of things we already know, but there was little light shed on new or deeper understanding to how we can truly stop the pursuit of perfectionism, while also fully pursuing Christ (who asked us to be holy as He is holy).
Truthfully, it was my own personal distractions that led to setting this aside, but finally, after almost 2 years, I finished it. Some ideas from the beginning of the book regarding prioritizing people over projects have stuck with me. However, in combination with the Lazy Genius Podcast, the recognition of the pain and sin of pursuing perfectionism has led me back to this book. If you are struggling with not meeting your own expectations, I encourage you to read this book. Here's the key, "In Jesus, we perfectionists can find rest and freedom from all our fruitless labor.... Because of Him alone, we have entered a new covenant of grace, rest, and freedom that releases us from never-ending failure. "
I would recommend this book to anyone who suffers from trying to please people, who sees themselves as a Good Girl, or someone who is never good enough, and wants to break free of that and see God’s perspective on it.
At first I had to plough through the first chapter or so because I didn’t think it was relevant to me and then suddenly realised part way in that I was a perfectionist, something I had never associated with myself! The author's style I also wasn't sure about at first but it grew on me and I loved her stories.
This book is really helpful for uncovering some of the things we think without realising and pointing out God’s perspective on us and how he made us to function.
This was a great book! The author was authentic and real and gave practical, godly advice on how to walk out of perfection into freedom. I love that she had a short Bible study that went along with each chapter to go deeper or even for a Bible study group to use. I also liked that at the end she listed "Fifty ways to leave your perfect"...one thing a day to meditate on for fifty days.... something small but practical...one thing a day to meditate on or do to actually get you walking out your freedom from Perfect ❤️ Loved it!
An empowering book to help women and men overcome their need to be everything to everyone. My only "complaint" (in quotes because it's not that big of a complaint) is how Christian focused it is. Overall, a good book with solid, actionable concepts.
**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**
Loved this book! It really hit home. Amy helped me take a hard look at myself and try to work on "breaking up with perfect"! I definitely recommend this book!
One of the best books I’ve ever read. Perfectionism has controlled so much of my life and relationships. This books has continued to help me let go of perfectionism and enjoy LIFE.
Amy Carroll in her new book, “Breaking Up with Perfect” published by Howard Books gives us Kiss Perfection Good-Bye and Embrace the Joy God Has in Store for You.
From the back cover: An inspiring and thought-provoking guide to help you abandon the pursuit of perfection and become comfortable and more confident in your own skin.
We’ve all been in relationships that were bad for us…whether with a catty girlfriend, a selfish boyfriend, or a coworker who undermines our best efforts.
But there is one relationship that steals the potential of all other relationships—including our relationship with ourselves and, ultimately, our relationship with God. And that’s our relationship with Perfect.
Perfect is a bad friend. No matter what we do or say or give or bake or create…it’s never enough. Perfect always demands more, but it’s never satisfied. Never.
Whether you are a “good girl,” who always tries to be what you think everyone else wants you to be, or a “never good enough” girl, who’s desperately hiding your past and shame behind attempts to measure up—this book will help you find the beautiful, loving, fulfilled woman God created you to be. Imperfections and all.
Breaking Up with Perfect will help you:
• Experience authenticity as the antidote for isolation
• Trade the Lies of Perfection for the Truths of God’s Love
• End the pursuit of perfection, so God can begin His powerful perfecting work in you
After reading this book, you’ll be able to end the never-ending stress that chasing Perfect brings and live a life filled with joy, peace, and spiritual fulfillment.
If we are all imperfect people then clinging to perfection seems a little at odds with us. In Four Parts: Part One: Breaking Up With Wrong Beliefs, Part Two: Breaking Up With Skewed Values, Part Three: Breaking Up With Selfish Actions and Part Four: Living Freely And Loving Deeply. Amy Carroll shows us how to put our quest for perfection behind us and live life with more joy. But she is not done yet. There is still one more section entitled: Fifty Ways To Leave Your Perfect. Each chapter has Transformation Points to help you focus and think about what you have just read. It is time we changed our relationships and our way that we look at ourselves. Ms. Carroll has given us the tools to accomplish this. This is a life-changing read. It will make a great gift for family and friends.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Howard Books for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Getting me to say yes to reviewing this book wasn’t much of a hard sell. I immediately understood what it is about, the whole idea of letting go of perfection. It’s an area of my life I’ve been tending to for some time now, and I can honestly say, in most ways, I’ve moved past the worst of it. So that now, interestingly, I’ve actually been put in the position of counseling a friend as she works to release her own perfectionist tendencies. To let good enough be, well…good enough.
In case you’re wondering, perfectionists are generally born or made. Me, I was born that way, and now I see it in my daughter too. (Which is another reason this book was of interest to me. Now that I’ve mostly moved past my own struggle, how do I help her?) Others, like my friend, have been molded into perfectionists by the expectations of people around them, which usually includes parents, teachers, and coaches. Perfectionists are usually divided into two camps: the Good Girl, and the Never Good Enough.
What I like about Amy’s book is that it gets to the heart issue — just what you would expect from a Proverbs 31 Ministries leader. Her content is thorough as she exposes perfectionism layer by layer, addressing wrong beliefs, skewed values, and selfish actions, arriving finally at an examination of what it takes to be able to let go of perfectionism so that we might live freely and love deeply.
My one caveat about this book is this: if, upon reading my reflection, you are left scratching your head, having no AmyCarrollidea where any of this is coming from, take a pass on this one. You may view the contents of this book with some interest or even curiosity, but most likely you’ll struggle to relate.
If, however, as you’ve read this you’ve been nodding your head, wanting to know more — well then. This one’s for you.
Thanks to The Blog Spot and Howard Books for providing me a free copy to review. All opinions are mine.
This book exposes the lies of perfection and how it can entrap one from true freedom. Having said that, I learned a lot about wrong beliefs, values such as relationships with friends, family, TV, Books, internet, my Iphone, etc. I also learned about myself selfishness in dealing with "to do list" instead of spending time resting. Have we all done this? Our "to do list" is a mile long and we HAVE to get it done or else we can't go to sleep! Sometimes, I need to accomplish the list and that can drag me down! The other thing I love about this book is this is the practicalness, but the authenticity of this book. You really get ways to handle perfectionism, but you also feel like Carroll really understand it and has real solutions. I LOVED this book. I felt like she was talking to me the whole time and I really enjoyed the content of this book because I felt like it was very solution focused, but was REAL. This book was so great!
Breaking Up with Perfect: Kiss Perfection Good-Bye and Embrace the Joy God Has in Store for You is inspiring read. It is broken into four parts that include: Breaking Up with Wrong Beliefs: Getting Free from What Fills Our Hearts Breaking Up with Skewed Values: Getting Free from What Crowds Our Hearts Breaking Up with Selfish Actions: Getting Free from What Consumes Our Days Living Freely and Loving Deeply The first three parts has three chapters the fourth part has two. The book, also, has a section called Fifty Values to Leave Your Perfect and another called Going Deeper - Bible Study for Individuals or Groups. I thought the book was pretty good and did find some inspiration by reading it. I definitely recommend it to those who worry about what others think of them. Perfect book to learn more about yourself. 5 stars. I received this book from Howard Books in exchange for my honest opinion, which was given.
It is easy to study and make notes with this book. There are more scriptures in the study section that allows you to dig in.
I love the transformation points, the lie of perfection and The truth of God's love added at the end of most chapters. Amy Carroll offers practical activity at the later end of the book "50 ways to leave your PERFECT".
My favorite quote, "Women who adhere to never good enough list also become spiritually fatigued and their relationship is damaged by believing they can never earn His(God's) love" (Amy Carroll, pg 31).
Would I recommend this book? I most definitely will to every young woman who is struggling to find herself or who is lost in what others think about her and most importantly to the woman struggling to be perfect.
Thanks Amy for taking time to share your heart in this book. I look forward to more.
This is a good book for women who are driven to be perfect - the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect women's ministry director. But being a perfectionist gets us in trouble, Carroll writes. She writes from her own experience as a recovering perfectionist. She helps us understand how perfectionism affects our relationships, including with God. I was convicted by her section on the blame game. The strength of this book is in the extensive study section at the back. It is aimed at getting the reader to think deeply about Scripture and their own lives. See my complete review at http://bit.ly/1G2ib9x. I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
I just finished Breaking Up with Perfect by Amy Carroll and it was fantastic! Before you write this one off under the presumption that it is not applicable to you, hear me out. I am a person who has never aimed for perfection; in fact, I tend to do the exact opposite. Amy Carroll addresses this behavior as the “never good enough” girl and boy--does she hit the nail on the head! Yikes, did she have me in mind when she wrote this? No matter what side of the fence you fall on, the “good girl,” or the “never good enough girl,” you will love this book! I am confident that if I had read this book in my twenties it would have saved me from years of turmoil and strife, and I am looking forward to having my teenage daughters read it!
This is one of the most helpful books I have read. Amy has captured me in so many ways and made me see myself in ways I never have. I strongly recommend it to others to use for themselves or in small group Bible studies! It is just what God ordered for the "Good girl" or the one who thinks she will never be "Good Enough" or like me BOTH!
Grab this book and a cup of coffee and sit down for a refreshing experience. Wow, I never realized how much unnecessary pressure I was putting on myself in this rat race of perfectionism. Amy shines the spotlight on our crazy thinking with humor and truth! It is amazing how much grace we give others but fail to give ourselves. This is a great read!
Amy Carroll's book, "Breaking Up with Perfect" is one that every woman desiring a deeper relationship with God should read. Whether you are one who believes you must be perfect or one that believes you will never be good enough, her message will touch you. I strongly recommend reading this book.
Am I serving others and building relationships or am I on my own mission? Chapter 3, It's Not You, It's Me, is a great reminder for me. Am I listening to others or just planning my own thing?