** I was provided a free copy of this book from Ambassador International in return for an honest review.**
Christian homemaker, homeschool teacher and motivational speaker Juana Mikels shares her story of a time early on in her marriage when she was feeling disillusioned with the man she chose, feeling that maybe she chose hastily. Triggered by meeting attractive, charismatic men at a work conference who only seem to make her husband back at home look that much more bland and unappealing, she decides to leave her marriage, thinking that perhaps by separating from her husband and starting over, she'll find her "true soulmate". Classic case of grass looking greener on the other side. But you know what they say to that. If the grass looks greener on the other side, you need to water your own lawn.
During the separation, while neither Juana or her husband could bring themselves to start divorce proceedings, Juana embarks on a journey of discovering her Christian faith. She immerses herself in her religion and finds strength in that to take on whatever challenges & ramifications her decisions have brought about. Juana starts her journey with a list of all the things she finds wrong about her husband, things she convinces herself means he's the wrong man for her. In the process of learning to be truthful with herself and with her God, she finds that faults and all, she truly loves the man she married after all. It's only natural for marriage, bogged down by general hectic schedules and life stresses, to have romantically stagnate moments here and there. Juana learns that the right path is not to give up on your spouse when the romantic fizzies go flat, but to work to reinvigorate what you initially fell in love with, and she uses the story of her path to finding stability again in her marriage and her faith to help other struggling couples in a similar situation.
Juana writes in a conversational tone which I found very easy to read, and while she does offer food for thought, I can't say that I agreed with or loved everything she had to say {For example, I just can't get behind the whole "serving Christ by giving up my right to myself" line of thought she brings up -- To me, that sounds like not honoring yourself, which seems disrespectful not only to oneself, but a person's Creator}. In fact, much of what she brings up as kinds of "revelation moments" seemed pretty common sense to me. Is it really a revelation to discover men and women think and interpret things differently, and that we should take that into account when working through disagreements with our partners? Or being considerate of others should be made into a way of life?! This was a profound discovery for her? That just stumped me.
One of the parts of her story I was most intrigued by was her sharing her personal struggles with discovering "the gentle and quiet spirit" that the Bible says is supposed to be most pleasing to man and God. I admired her pursuit of tapping into this side of her (or at least attempting to) but was baffled at her reasoning that the reason she struggled to embrace a nature gentle and quiet in spirit was because she was dominated by an "independent, driven spirit". The two are not mutually exclusive! You can, in fact, be gentle and quiet yet independent and driven all at once!
I also struggled to sympathize with either Juana or her husband Terry. Sure, as an outsider reading this book, it may be easy to judge -- but as an impartial observer, I was just stunned at some of the shockingly bad moments of judgmental behavior and miscommunication between them. Yes, Juana did jump to conclusions pretty hastily -- assuming that her husband was not "the one" for her because he asked her to not be so slovenly in nature. But some of Terry's reactions to Juana's words or behaviors seemed over the top as well, at times almost controlling. And while I understand Juana seriously emotionally hurt him with her actions, I thought Terry's flip-flopping during their initial attempts at reconciliation seemed especially hurtful to continually put his wife through. For much of Juana's story I was thinking "Wow, these two actually stuck it out?!"
I'm glad to see that it looks like Juana and her mister worked it out and found faith in the process, but in the end I was not enamored with this story and did not take away much for reference in years to come. That's not to say Juana's story won't be resonating with someone else though --- perhaps there were just too few commonalities between my marriage situation and hers for her message to really speak to me on a deep level. I do appreciate her bravery though, in putting her marriage, flaws and all, out there with the honest intent of hopefully helping other struggling couples out there. Also, my thanks to Ambassador International for the opportunity to check out this upcoming release.