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Lost Edens: A True Story
When her estranged husband asks to live with Jamie again, she ignores her instincts and her family's concerns and sets about making a perfect home for them in a California beach town. The delicate negotiation that follows is a carefully constructed reality between what Jamie is willing to acknowledge and what she is not.
- GenresNonfiction
175 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 26, 2011
12 people are currently reading
573 people want to read
About the author
Jamie Patterson
14 books17 followersJamie is a writer, teacher, runner, and dog guardian. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literature from the University of Missouri-Kansas City where she studied under Michael Pritchett (The Melancholy Fate of Capt. Lewis). Her doctorate is in Education.
A former spokesperson for the American Red Cross and the Girl Scouts, Jamie is now an academic editor.
A former spokesperson for the American Red Cross and the Girl Scouts, Jamie is now an academic editor.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
August 15, 2013
I was introduced to this book by one of life’s little serendipitous moments. I was at a garden party (yes, for real, a garden party) and I started talking with an older man in a loose group of newly-introduced strangers. Ex-Navy guy, now a lawyer in Minneapolis. I told him I had just published my first novel and he congratulated me. Then he said, “My daughter wrote a book.”
“That’s great,” I replied. “What’s it about?”
“The last week of her marriage.”
I waited for the punchline.
“No,” he said. “That’s what it’s really about—the last week of her marriage.”
I picked up a copy of Lost Edens: A True Story as much out of curiosity as anything else. What I found was a heart-breaking story of a young woman coming to terms with her marriage, her God and, most of all, herself.
Patterson writes with a light, innocent style—think of a child-like Hemingway—that makes the story all the more painful to read. There is no suspense; you know how the story ends before you even open the book. My biggest fear was that this was going to be a voyeuristic, revenge novel, but it is most definitely not. Do you hate the husband? Yes, but most of all you want the author to break out of her own self-delusions and throw him out. Along the journey she makes inferences that he might be mentally ill, including a chilling revelation about her pets, but she shoulders that burden along with the rest of her mountain of emotional baggage.
The quotes on the back cover are all about references to domestic violence being more than “black eyes and broken bones.” I agree, but I also think they do a small disservice to the author. In the end, this is Jamie’s story about self-confidence, self-love and recovery. She's the hero, not the victim.
“That’s great,” I replied. “What’s it about?”
“The last week of her marriage.”
I waited for the punchline.
“No,” he said. “That’s what it’s really about—the last week of her marriage.”
I picked up a copy of Lost Edens: A True Story as much out of curiosity as anything else. What I found was a heart-breaking story of a young woman coming to terms with her marriage, her God and, most of all, herself.
Patterson writes with a light, innocent style—think of a child-like Hemingway—that makes the story all the more painful to read. There is no suspense; you know how the story ends before you even open the book. My biggest fear was that this was going to be a voyeuristic, revenge novel, but it is most definitely not. Do you hate the husband? Yes, but most of all you want the author to break out of her own self-delusions and throw him out. Along the journey she makes inferences that he might be mentally ill, including a chilling revelation about her pets, but she shoulders that burden along with the rest of her mountain of emotional baggage.
The quotes on the back cover are all about references to domestic violence being more than “black eyes and broken bones.” I agree, but I also think they do a small disservice to the author. In the end, this is Jamie’s story about self-confidence, self-love and recovery. She's the hero, not the victim.
September 5, 2011
Writing about emotional abuse is not an easy task, especially when it is a true story. How does one tell a story to show this when each incident, taken alone, can be interpreted as no big deal?
Lost Edens offers a unique glimpse into the dynamics of manipulative control which, through repetition, gradually damages a person’s self-esteem. And when the manipulator is someone you love and married, there is an even bigger problem of acceptance of the situation. Most make defensive excuses for the one loved; taking onto oneself the fault for the problem.
“If only I did this, or if I did that, he wouldn’t be upset.” “It is all my fault.” “Why can’t I be a better wife?” “I’m sorry,” is instinctively said at the first sign of any displeasure. The downward spiral is so difficult from which to escape.
Jamie Patterson tells her story in a first person narrative that has the reader accompanying her. Like her family and friends, readers will alternately want to help her; question her defense of him and condemnation of herself; be afraid for her; be angry at him for what he does; be angry at her for taking it; but through all these feelings, readers will root for her until the end for her to finally see what’s really happening in her life and hopefully to find a way to survive to go on to take back her own life.
With realistic characterizations and good dialogue that will keep the reader involved and caring, Lost Edens is a story that needed to be told to show the signs of emotional abuse that cause people to disappear in their own lives for the sake of the other.
Lost Edens offers a unique glimpse into the dynamics of manipulative control which, through repetition, gradually damages a person’s self-esteem. And when the manipulator is someone you love and married, there is an even bigger problem of acceptance of the situation. Most make defensive excuses for the one loved; taking onto oneself the fault for the problem.
“If only I did this, or if I did that, he wouldn’t be upset.” “It is all my fault.” “Why can’t I be a better wife?” “I’m sorry,” is instinctively said at the first sign of any displeasure. The downward spiral is so difficult from which to escape.
Jamie Patterson tells her story in a first person narrative that has the reader accompanying her. Like her family and friends, readers will alternately want to help her; question her defense of him and condemnation of herself; be afraid for her; be angry at him for what he does; be angry at her for taking it; but through all these feelings, readers will root for her until the end for her to finally see what’s really happening in her life and hopefully to find a way to survive to go on to take back her own life.
With realistic characterizations and good dialogue that will keep the reader involved and caring, Lost Edens is a story that needed to be told to show the signs of emotional abuse that cause people to disappear in their own lives for the sake of the other.
September 3, 2011
The back of the book:
‘Sometimes domestic violence is hard to recognise because it does not always come in the form of black eyes and broken bones’
My thoughts:
The beginning of this book didn’t particularly grab me. I felt that there was a slight lack of direction where there was a beautiful lake and cabin site described and then all of the upset of the actual story was slammed right into it. I thought there might be more of the lake but as this is a memoir I didn’t particularly mind that there was not.
A heart wrenching memoir written by a woman so deep in love that she seemed to have lost all of her functioning faculties, especially the ones that would assist her in keeping a grasp of her true identity. From what I read in the book Jamie (the writer) was not much older than myself when all of this darkness started to encroach on her life. Whilst enduring such cruelty and abuse she continued to show courage, love and hope to the one person that mattered to her most in the world despite his wretched actions towards her.
I questioned many times whilst reading how any human being (if he can even be classed as that) could ever treat someone else who is portraying such love for them in the way Jamie did for Ben. Unequivocal, absolute, unconditional love. The saying ‘I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire’ comes to mind – and however unchristian that makes me sound I will take that risk.
There were points throughout the book that I had to put it down go for a cigarette or a cup of coffee and just cool off. These impromptu breaks were due to my pure and utter disgust from the behaviour portrayed by the excuse of a man named Ben. Thoughts such as ‘how could you let him treat you like this CONSTANTLY. Over and over and over again?’ then I realised that Jamie this caring woman was trapped and consumed whole heartedly in this relationship regardless of the affection and attention being reciprocated by the other person. She was trapped by a monster who knew exactly what he was doing and exactly how to take advantage of a vulnerable person.
Loneliness was a feeling that I can only imagine Jamie was feeling when all of this was going on. And the more I think about it the more I think it was planned by Ben to get her away from home, family, friends and anything familiar to a place she didn’t know and play his very sick game. One thing I am happy about is that she finally asked for help – otherwise this book may not have made it to our shelves and neither would the writer. Something as destroying as this type of mental abuse can be detrimental to a person’s health and if there is no-one to help or that person doesn’t reach the point where they can ask for help well they may end up sadly like Harry (this bit you have to read the book for!)
There are many women and men out there who suffer from such abuse (some may think the word abuse is a bit hard but the truth is hard). If you know anyone who has had to or is dealing with such pain and anguish or you even suspect such goings on, please get them this book as a gift or even just suggest they buy it. The same goes for those that are not or have not been through anything like this as this book may well stop such things happening in the future. A truly touching memoir full of parts that I will never forget.
Rating: I couldn’t decide on this rating so there are two with reasoning
4/5
Just because it is not a book I would consider re-reading
5/5
Unforgettable and truly touching
Read: Sent an ARC from the Author
Pages: 210
‘Sometimes domestic violence is hard to recognise because it does not always come in the form of black eyes and broken bones’
My thoughts:
The beginning of this book didn’t particularly grab me. I felt that there was a slight lack of direction where there was a beautiful lake and cabin site described and then all of the upset of the actual story was slammed right into it. I thought there might be more of the lake but as this is a memoir I didn’t particularly mind that there was not.
A heart wrenching memoir written by a woman so deep in love that she seemed to have lost all of her functioning faculties, especially the ones that would assist her in keeping a grasp of her true identity. From what I read in the book Jamie (the writer) was not much older than myself when all of this darkness started to encroach on her life. Whilst enduring such cruelty and abuse she continued to show courage, love and hope to the one person that mattered to her most in the world despite his wretched actions towards her.
I questioned many times whilst reading how any human being (if he can even be classed as that) could ever treat someone else who is portraying such love for them in the way Jamie did for Ben. Unequivocal, absolute, unconditional love. The saying ‘I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire’ comes to mind – and however unchristian that makes me sound I will take that risk.
There were points throughout the book that I had to put it down go for a cigarette or a cup of coffee and just cool off. These impromptu breaks were due to my pure and utter disgust from the behaviour portrayed by the excuse of a man named Ben. Thoughts such as ‘how could you let him treat you like this CONSTANTLY. Over and over and over again?’ then I realised that Jamie this caring woman was trapped and consumed whole heartedly in this relationship regardless of the affection and attention being reciprocated by the other person. She was trapped by a monster who knew exactly what he was doing and exactly how to take advantage of a vulnerable person.
Loneliness was a feeling that I can only imagine Jamie was feeling when all of this was going on. And the more I think about it the more I think it was planned by Ben to get her away from home, family, friends and anything familiar to a place she didn’t know and play his very sick game. One thing I am happy about is that she finally asked for help – otherwise this book may not have made it to our shelves and neither would the writer. Something as destroying as this type of mental abuse can be detrimental to a person’s health and if there is no-one to help or that person doesn’t reach the point where they can ask for help well they may end up sadly like Harry (this bit you have to read the book for!)
There are many women and men out there who suffer from such abuse (some may think the word abuse is a bit hard but the truth is hard). If you know anyone who has had to or is dealing with such pain and anguish or you even suspect such goings on, please get them this book as a gift or even just suggest they buy it. The same goes for those that are not or have not been through anything like this as this book may well stop such things happening in the future. A truly touching memoir full of parts that I will never forget.
Rating: I couldn’t decide on this rating so there are two with reasoning
4/5
Just because it is not a book I would consider re-reading
5/5
Unforgettable and truly touching
Read: Sent an ARC from the Author
Pages: 210
November 9, 2011
The synopsis above doesn't tell me much, so I had no idea what to expect from this memoir when I started reading it. I know it's about a marriage on the rocks. Apparently her husband left, but now wants her back, so Jamie lets him back in despite misgivings from her family. With that intriguing premise, I began Lost Edens.
This memoir is about co-dependency and emotional abuse. It's about a man who manipulates his wife into thinking everything is her fault. It's about a woman who is so enraptured by the idea of a perfect marriage and family that she will do anything to please her husband, including giving up her own sense of self-worth. I was appalled by the actions of Jamie's husband, Ben. I was flabbergasted by Jamie's reactions to Ben's obvious manipulations. I'm sure it is easy for myself, as the reader, to look into this situation and see how obvious the emotional abuse is. But, when you are in it, it is not so black and white. When you are in it, you just want to please your husband. You assume that what he says must be true, so you try to constantly be better, do better, revolve your life around him so maybe he will love you and want to stay with you. Unfortunately, I can easily see how a woman could get caught up in this type of relationship. It's sad yet frightening.
I had some issues with the author's writing. At times, it wasn't clear. For example, I had to read this passage multiple times and I still didn't understand it until a bit later in the chapter:
When I first read this, I thought Ben was her brother. From the end of the first sentence, "I don't really want my brother to know where I'll be living" and the beginning of the second sentence, "Either Ben can know...", I assumed Ben is her brother's name. And I was very confused - is her brother her husband? Shortly after, it became more clear that Ben is not her brother, but the wording of some passages like this gave me moments of confusion and interrupted the flow of the story. Other times, there would be a flashback in the middle of a scene and I wasn't sure if I was reading something that was happening now or something that happened in the past. The transitions were unclear to me.
This is a fast-moving story that will make you shake your head in disbelief. You will be angry and saddened all at the same time. But I have no doubt that relationships like this are very common. It's only through books like this that attention can be brought to the issue and people can begin to recognize the signs of an emotionally abusive situation. I commend the author for her bravery in telling her story.
Source: I received a free copy of this book from the publicist for review purposes.
This memoir is about co-dependency and emotional abuse. It's about a man who manipulates his wife into thinking everything is her fault. It's about a woman who is so enraptured by the idea of a perfect marriage and family that she will do anything to please her husband, including giving up her own sense of self-worth. I was appalled by the actions of Jamie's husband, Ben. I was flabbergasted by Jamie's reactions to Ben's obvious manipulations. I'm sure it is easy for myself, as the reader, to look into this situation and see how obvious the emotional abuse is. But, when you are in it, it is not so black and white. When you are in it, you just want to please your husband. You assume that what he says must be true, so you try to constantly be better, do better, revolve your life around him so maybe he will love you and want to stay with you. Unfortunately, I can easily see how a woman could get caught up in this type of relationship. It's sad yet frightening.
I had some issues with the author's writing. At times, it wasn't clear. For example, I had to read this passage multiple times and I still didn't understand it until a bit later in the chapter:
"I'm anxious to get moving, and I don't really want my brother to know where I'll be living. Either Ben can know where I live and no one else, or my family can know and Ben can't. I am choosing Ben. I am choosing my husband."
When I first read this, I thought Ben was her brother. From the end of the first sentence, "I don't really want my brother to know where I'll be living" and the beginning of the second sentence, "Either Ben can know...", I assumed Ben is her brother's name. And I was very confused - is her brother her husband? Shortly after, it became more clear that Ben is not her brother, but the wording of some passages like this gave me moments of confusion and interrupted the flow of the story. Other times, there would be a flashback in the middle of a scene and I wasn't sure if I was reading something that was happening now or something that happened in the past. The transitions were unclear to me.
This is a fast-moving story that will make you shake your head in disbelief. You will be angry and saddened all at the same time. But I have no doubt that relationships like this are very common. It's only through books like this that attention can be brought to the issue and people can begin to recognize the signs of an emotionally abusive situation. I commend the author for her bravery in telling her story.
Source: I received a free copy of this book from the publicist for review purposes.
August 25, 2011
This review took some time for me to write as the stark reality of this book hit very close to home. Jamie writes about the final weeks of her relationship with her husband and tells with both an innocence and purity of a soul that has been battered by emotional abuse. The lack of self-worth is apparent to the reader, but not to the person living it.
Jamie bares her soul and tells from a personal point of view how things transpired and how she discovered she lost herself, but only after losing her husband. She writes with a raw honesty and allows the reader inside the eyes of a person with no self-worth... a person who had it when she started, but doesn't realize that she no longer feels worthy of respect and real love. She shows a woman who feels that if she just tries harder and puts more effort in her relationship, she will receive the love from her husband that she so desperately craves.
This account illustrates how much emotional abuse breaks a person and how it robs their essence. Unlike physical abuse, the scars aren't apparent. The abuse isn't even apparent to the one on the receiving end until great damage has been done. Emotional abuse makes me think of the proverbial frog in the pot - it doesn't notice the heat is being turned up until it's too late.
This emotional account should be read by everyone!
Please Note:
Jamie will be donating a portion of her book sales to the Institute for Human Animal Connection at the University of Denver. After reading this book and meeting Huey, one will understand why.
Jamie bares her soul and tells from a personal point of view how things transpired and how she discovered she lost herself, but only after losing her husband. She writes with a raw honesty and allows the reader inside the eyes of a person with no self-worth... a person who had it when she started, but doesn't realize that she no longer feels worthy of respect and real love. She shows a woman who feels that if she just tries harder and puts more effort in her relationship, she will receive the love from her husband that she so desperately craves.
This account illustrates how much emotional abuse breaks a person and how it robs their essence. Unlike physical abuse, the scars aren't apparent. The abuse isn't even apparent to the one on the receiving end until great damage has been done. Emotional abuse makes me think of the proverbial frog in the pot - it doesn't notice the heat is being turned up until it's too late.
This emotional account should be read by everyone!
Please Note:
Jamie will be donating a portion of her book sales to the Institute for Human Animal Connection at the University of Denver. After reading this book and meeting Huey, one will understand why.
December 7, 2011
I received a free copy of this book through a Good Reads First Read giveaway. Thanks!
I'm not entirely sure I 'got' (as in fully understood) this book. To be sure, everyone has difficult and dysfunctional relationships in their past, myself included, and how they choose to either overcome it (or wallow in it) shows the true measure and strength of character. I am not discounting Ms. Patterson's struggle and triumph by any means; I was, however, left very, very confused. The whole narrative started off backwards - at the end of the story and at the end of a marriage. Instead of having a beginning and a middle, it felt like it existed in somewhat of a vacuum and it was just the end. Maybe that was the point...? I'm still a bit lost.
Some background information was filled in, but only in the last 2 or so chapters. For this particular reader, a little more information and explanation would have gone a long way.
Despite those setbacks, this was a quick read that, at times, you could relate to if you've ever found yourself in a relationship that is less than healthy.
I'm not entirely sure I 'got' (as in fully understood) this book. To be sure, everyone has difficult and dysfunctional relationships in their past, myself included, and how they choose to either overcome it (or wallow in it) shows the true measure and strength of character. I am not discounting Ms. Patterson's struggle and triumph by any means; I was, however, left very, very confused. The whole narrative started off backwards - at the end of the story and at the end of a marriage. Instead of having a beginning and a middle, it felt like it existed in somewhat of a vacuum and it was just the end. Maybe that was the point...? I'm still a bit lost.
Some background information was filled in, but only in the last 2 or so chapters. For this particular reader, a little more information and explanation would have gone a long way.
Despite those setbacks, this was a quick read that, at times, you could relate to if you've ever found yourself in a relationship that is less than healthy.
March 1, 2015
Wow. Not an easy book to read for me on a personal level.
Too close to home for comfort.
Like Jamie, I too managed to make a break.
Emotional abuse is a toughie. No physical scars. No broken bones.
Who would believe you?
I am glad Jamies family supported her so well.
I like her style, she doesn't victimise herself. She doesn't wallow in self pity.
She seeks the reality, it takes a while to sink in.
Emotional abuse doesn't just happen one day. It slowly sneaks up on you and gets worse and worse.
But because you're engulfed in the situation you can't see the truth very easily.
I truly hope this short book will give other woman ( and men!) in similar situations the courage to end their relationship.
I admire the author for writing it, it can't have been easy.
Too close to home for comfort.
Like Jamie, I too managed to make a break.
Emotional abuse is a toughie. No physical scars. No broken bones.
Who would believe you?
I am glad Jamies family supported her so well.
I like her style, she doesn't victimise herself. She doesn't wallow in self pity.
She seeks the reality, it takes a while to sink in.
Emotional abuse doesn't just happen one day. It slowly sneaks up on you and gets worse and worse.
But because you're engulfed in the situation you can't see the truth very easily.
I truly hope this short book will give other woman ( and men!) in similar situations the courage to end their relationship.
I admire the author for writing it, it can't have been easy.
November 21, 2011
This is a great book by a courageous woman. Patterson uses artful language. Women in a stressful marriage or relationship can benefit from reading this book. Anyone who knows someone in a stressful relationship will better understand what the experience of being in a stressful relationship is like.
April 14, 2011
A young memoirist uses her story to prevent domestic violence and infidelity.
Even if you are in a stable partnership, this writing is disturbing and makes you question your relationship reality.
A short vignette that is long on impact, this is
essential reading for codependents.
Even if you are in a stable partnership, this writing is disturbing and makes you question your relationship reality.
A short vignette that is long on impact, this is
essential reading for codependents.
September 8, 2011
We've all had a friend who stays with "that horrible guy" and wondered what they were thinking. Here's one woman's perspective that is a disturbing but insightful read.
February 13, 2021
Sad and dark ride
Can only say this is seriously depressing, wish I had skipped the whole book not just the animal abuse. Hope the author found good mental health, sorry I joined her journey.
Can only say this is seriously depressing, wish I had skipped the whole book not just the animal abuse. Hope the author found good mental health, sorry I joined her journey.
August 30, 2011
Jamie Patterson’s LOST EDENS is a true story drawn from Jamie’s personal experience of the break up of her marriage and one that many people would benefit from reading. Besides being a writer, Patterson is also a teacher, runner, and a dog lover. She spent almost a decade trying to please everybody and always putting herself last. Jamie describes how very much she wanted her marriage to work and the great lengths she went to in order to make it happen. What she didn’t realize at the time is that no matter how desperate she was, or what all she did, there would never ultimately be the fairy tale marriage she dreamed of.
Domestic violence and spousal abuse is very difficult to read about but even harder to recognize by outsiders and most often by the partner who is involved and in denial. In all of Jamie’s efforts to please her husband, it becomes evident to readers that the undercurrent of low self-esteem is prevalent even though Jamie is not aware of it. As most do, she took the blame on herself but emotional and verbal abuse can be harder to acknowledge than even physical abuse. The cost of such a relationship is devastating. In Jamie’s case, she had separated from her husband for a while but when he asked if he could come back, classic to this type of abuse, Jamie ignored family warnings and her own deep seeded denial. Jamie once again believes that making a perfect home in a lovely beach town will enable the couple to make things work this time. What happens after this is eye-opening to readers and Jamie alike as reality hits home in more ways than one. From Jamie’s point of view, it took a long time for her to find herself and that was only after her husband was gone. I found myself very relieved at the end of the book but wondered what inner scars might Jamie still have left to deal with.
Jamie Patterson is a fine writer and she has courageously shared her story. It is one that demonstrates how emotional abuse can eat away at one’s spirit until they finally break. It is so hard to recognize but looking back, easy to now see how manipulative the other party can be. When Jamie finally came to terms with the fact that her life was centered on her husband, it was a very important step in her recovery. This is a book that anyone who is in such a deadly relationship, or knows someone who is, should read. Even if you are not, it is a fascinating story and one that leaves you thinking long and hard about the inner selves of people we think we know but perhaps do not, including one’s self.
Domestic violence and spousal abuse is very difficult to read about but even harder to recognize by outsiders and most often by the partner who is involved and in denial. In all of Jamie’s efforts to please her husband, it becomes evident to readers that the undercurrent of low self-esteem is prevalent even though Jamie is not aware of it. As most do, she took the blame on herself but emotional and verbal abuse can be harder to acknowledge than even physical abuse. The cost of such a relationship is devastating. In Jamie’s case, she had separated from her husband for a while but when he asked if he could come back, classic to this type of abuse, Jamie ignored family warnings and her own deep seeded denial. Jamie once again believes that making a perfect home in a lovely beach town will enable the couple to make things work this time. What happens after this is eye-opening to readers and Jamie alike as reality hits home in more ways than one. From Jamie’s point of view, it took a long time for her to find herself and that was only after her husband was gone. I found myself very relieved at the end of the book but wondered what inner scars might Jamie still have left to deal with.
Jamie Patterson is a fine writer and she has courageously shared her story. It is one that demonstrates how emotional abuse can eat away at one’s spirit until they finally break. It is so hard to recognize but looking back, easy to now see how manipulative the other party can be. When Jamie finally came to terms with the fact that her life was centered on her husband, it was a very important step in her recovery. This is a book that anyone who is in such a deadly relationship, or knows someone who is, should read. Even if you are not, it is a fascinating story and one that leaves you thinking long and hard about the inner selves of people we think we know but perhaps do not, including one’s self.
November 2, 2011
Sometimes, the hardest review to write is one in which I love the book. I loved this book. This is a short memoir about the abandonment and betrayal of a husband written in his wife’s point of view. It’s also a memoir about domestic abuse. I can’t remember the last time I read a memoir in which the writer was so brutally honest about herself, about what she went through. It takes a lot of strength to admit your weaknesses; it takes a lot to ask for help. If I had to describe Jamie Patterson in one word, it would be courageous.
I can’t begin to tell you how wonderfully raw and honest this book is. This book was especially personal to me. I have the upmost respect for Ms. Patterson for taking an experience that was so personal and sharing it with us. Those of us who have felt it understand her. Those who have not experienced it for themselves, or sadly are there now, will see that there is healing. There is hope.
For me, this is a must read. I love the way it is written, short and factual. She doesn’t sugar-coat the truth. It’s startling how from the outside looking in, you can see how controlling and abusing her husband is. What I respect about Ms. Patterson is in her honesty about his behavior and words, she is truthful about her beliefs, reasoning, and feelings. On the inside looking out, I can wholly understand her need to make her marriage work, to fight for her husband and their relationship, to honor the commitment, and to blame herself for the failure.
I loved this book because there were so many morsels of goodness. I loved that she wrote, “My pain is too big for these enclosed woods.” I love that she found a way to elucidate the feeling of a pain that is much larger than she is, the kind of pain that consumes her, stealing every thought and emotion.
Finally, I will leave you with this, her words on the end:
“Endings rarely announce themselves. They steal in and go nameless until long after their work is done.”
I can’t begin to tell you how wonderfully raw and honest this book is. This book was especially personal to me. I have the upmost respect for Ms. Patterson for taking an experience that was so personal and sharing it with us. Those of us who have felt it understand her. Those who have not experienced it for themselves, or sadly are there now, will see that there is healing. There is hope.
For me, this is a must read. I love the way it is written, short and factual. She doesn’t sugar-coat the truth. It’s startling how from the outside looking in, you can see how controlling and abusing her husband is. What I respect about Ms. Patterson is in her honesty about his behavior and words, she is truthful about her beliefs, reasoning, and feelings. On the inside looking out, I can wholly understand her need to make her marriage work, to fight for her husband and their relationship, to honor the commitment, and to blame herself for the failure.
I loved this book because there were so many morsels of goodness. I loved that she wrote, “My pain is too big for these enclosed woods.” I love that she found a way to elucidate the feeling of a pain that is much larger than she is, the kind of pain that consumes her, stealing every thought and emotion.
Finally, I will leave you with this, her words on the end:
“Endings rarely announce themselves. They steal in and go nameless until long after their work is done.”
December 7, 2014
This is a story that really tugged at my heart. I found it very touching and compelling. From the first sentence I was drawn in. I also found myself feeling sorry for Jamie and being annoyed with her at the same time, for being so needy. I understood her desperation to get her husband back, but her need for constant validation/approval of her husband was difficult to comprehend.
The emotional abuse that Jamie received from her husband on a repeated basis, is so reminiscent of the stories you hear from many people both male and female on a regular basis. Sometimes the love for the other person blinds the abused to the abuse, to a point the abused almost accepts it as the norm.
I found it very difficult to put this book down. Knowing that it is based on a true story also makes it an interesting book to read. It is very well written and easy to follow. I could actually feel her pain seep through the pages. I kept wanting to know how it would all end. Jamie’s story is really thought provoking. There are lots of lessons to learn from this story. For me the most important one being the need to truly love oneself. When you love yourself enough, you will not allow anyone to trample over you.
This is a really lovely book which I recommend to anybody who might be suffering from some form of emotional abuse. Read Jamie’s story and use it to free yourself.
The emotional abuse that Jamie received from her husband on a repeated basis, is so reminiscent of the stories you hear from many people both male and female on a regular basis. Sometimes the love for the other person blinds the abused to the abuse, to a point the abused almost accepts it as the norm.
I found it very difficult to put this book down. Knowing that it is based on a true story also makes it an interesting book to read. It is very well written and easy to follow. I could actually feel her pain seep through the pages. I kept wanting to know how it would all end. Jamie’s story is really thought provoking. There are lots of lessons to learn from this story. For me the most important one being the need to truly love oneself. When you love yourself enough, you will not allow anyone to trample over you.
This is a really lovely book which I recommend to anybody who might be suffering from some form of emotional abuse. Read Jamie’s story and use it to free yourself.
August 25, 2011
Lost Edens is a well-written book describing the true accounts of a shattered marriage. In this book, Jamie wanted so badly for her marriage to work, that she could not see the terrible treatment from her husband and destructive behavior that was tearing her apart emotionally. I enjoyed the writing style of the book, recounting the memories of her time in San Diego, living an idealize version of what she wanted out of her marriage and life. She had the perfect beach car, beach house, family nearby, but a rotten husband.
Some questions I had: The animal abuse was only briefly mentioned - was there more to that? And what was the extent of physical abuse that Ben inflicted (on the animals, and any toward Jamie)? And in reading this book, a reoccurring thought was how the line can be blurred between wanting to make your spouse happy (getting his favorite cereal, etc.) and doing things for him to avoid an argument. Did Jamie realize at the time the difference, or does anyone?
I would certainly read more from this author, but hopefully a more uplifting topic of where her life has taken her since (I have to image it's only going to get better from here).
Some questions I had: The animal abuse was only briefly mentioned - was there more to that? And what was the extent of physical abuse that Ben inflicted (on the animals, and any toward Jamie)? And in reading this book, a reoccurring thought was how the line can be blurred between wanting to make your spouse happy (getting his favorite cereal, etc.) and doing things for him to avoid an argument. Did Jamie realize at the time the difference, or does anyone?
I would certainly read more from this author, but hopefully a more uplifting topic of where her life has taken her since (I have to image it's only going to get better from here).
June 26, 2011
JAMIE PATTERSON'S "LOST EDEN'S" (REVIEW)
It is almost frightening to read this book and realize just how easily someone can be manipulated into thinking that their life should revolve around someone else. Jamie's realization although late in life was one of the greatest that could ever be documented. This book is a reminder that abuse is not always physical and sometimes even mental abuse can be so subtle that you don't realize it until it's too late. I commend Jamie on her ability to rise above because she is truly a woman that deserves so much better than what she was getting.
This book is a definite must-read for any woman that even suspects she may be going through some kind of abuse. It will open your eyes wide! No one should be taken advantage of in such a way and especially not in the way of abuse no matter what kind it may be. We are all better than that and we all deserve much more!
-Kitty Bullard / Great Minds Think Aloud Book Club
Read more: http://www.greatmindsthinkaloud.probo...
It is almost frightening to read this book and realize just how easily someone can be manipulated into thinking that their life should revolve around someone else. Jamie's realization although late in life was one of the greatest that could ever be documented. This book is a reminder that abuse is not always physical and sometimes even mental abuse can be so subtle that you don't realize it until it's too late. I commend Jamie on her ability to rise above because she is truly a woman that deserves so much better than what she was getting.
This book is a definite must-read for any woman that even suspects she may be going through some kind of abuse. It will open your eyes wide! No one should be taken advantage of in such a way and especially not in the way of abuse no matter what kind it may be. We are all better than that and we all deserve much more!
-Kitty Bullard / Great Minds Think Aloud Book Club
Read more: http://www.greatmindsthinkaloud.probo...
August 20, 2011
I received a free ARC from the author on August 10th, 2011. I will post my thoughts/comments when I finish reading the book.
I finished reading this book on 8/13/2011. The subject matter is quite unsettling for me as I also have been a victim of spousal abuse. While reading about Jamie's struggles, it brought my own past vividly to the forefront of my mind. (I suffer from acute PTSD as a result of the abuse I endured.) I truly felt Jamie's pain, fear and stress. I empathize with Jamie completely. This book is a very accurate portrayal of the "walking on eggshells" life with an abuser. Also very accurately described are the feelings of doing your very best, but thinking that it somehow still isn't good enough and the second guessing every thought, action &/or words spoken. Thank you Jamie for sharing your story and baring your soul. I'm certain your book will be helpful to other women who are going through similar situations. Hopefully your story will give others hope so that they can get through their own turmoil and come out whole on the other side to find happiness.
I finished reading this book on 8/13/2011. The subject matter is quite unsettling for me as I also have been a victim of spousal abuse. While reading about Jamie's struggles, it brought my own past vividly to the forefront of my mind. (I suffer from acute PTSD as a result of the abuse I endured.) I truly felt Jamie's pain, fear and stress. I empathize with Jamie completely. This book is a very accurate portrayal of the "walking on eggshells" life with an abuser. Also very accurately described are the feelings of doing your very best, but thinking that it somehow still isn't good enough and the second guessing every thought, action &/or words spoken. Thank you Jamie for sharing your story and baring your soul. I'm certain your book will be helpful to other women who are going through similar situations. Hopefully your story will give others hope so that they can get through their own turmoil and come out whole on the other side to find happiness.
September 13, 2011
Wow. This book is intense.
I finished it in 24 hours, and I NEVER read books in less than a week. Never.
It's true story involving marraige and infidelity. But it is so much more than that. She successfully captures the feeling of helplessness and futile hope that many of us have encountered to some degree or another in relationships.
Though her specific experience is something that I cannot imagine going through, it is easy to identify with her. And that is what makes it so intense. Not only do you imagine yourself in her position, but you are also an outsider looking in. You want to tell her "No! Get out of there! This is no good!", and you want to hunt down this guy and beat him up.
Either way, I am looking at everything differently today. And that, in my opinion, is what makes a great book.
I finished it in 24 hours, and I NEVER read books in less than a week. Never.
It's true story involving marraige and infidelity. But it is so much more than that. She successfully captures the feeling of helplessness and futile hope that many of us have encountered to some degree or another in relationships.
Though her specific experience is something that I cannot imagine going through, it is easy to identify with her. And that is what makes it so intense. Not only do you imagine yourself in her position, but you are also an outsider looking in. You want to tell her "No! Get out of there! This is no good!", and you want to hunt down this guy and beat him up.
Either way, I am looking at everything differently today. And that, in my opinion, is what makes a great book.
August 21, 2011
Jamie did an excellent job describing her marriage, or what her perception of it was...I think a lot of us know all too well this life she described.. Felt what she felt, she did a fantastic job..
But I gave it 4 stars because at the end I found myself skimming over it, getting lost going back and forth. Couldn't figure out whether it was the past or the present.
The scenes she described are all too common. Without bruises though people wonder what is wrong with you. I think the head games are harder to get over than bruises.
Jamie's parents were outstanding though, all of her family for being there for her. Helping pick up the pieces when it was time..
I think Jamie has an excellent future as a writer, she will get more refined as time goes by!
I received this book as a Goodreads First Reads for free. This review is my own and in no way has anyone influenced me.
But I gave it 4 stars because at the end I found myself skimming over it, getting lost going back and forth. Couldn't figure out whether it was the past or the present.
The scenes she described are all too common. Without bruises though people wonder what is wrong with you. I think the head games are harder to get over than bruises.
Jamie's parents were outstanding though, all of her family for being there for her. Helping pick up the pieces when it was time..
I think Jamie has an excellent future as a writer, she will get more refined as time goes by!
I received this book as a Goodreads First Reads for free. This review is my own and in no way has anyone influenced me.
December 10, 2014
Once I started reading this book I could not put it down! Lost Edens reminds me so much of several past experiences of my life! Manipulation, low self-esteem, and relationships all made this book so real to me it could have been written about my life.
Author Jamie Patterson really does a great job of detailing the true story of the breakup of her marriage and the affects it had on her. At times this was very painful for me to read as it was so close to my experiences on so many levels.
I really loved this book and it took me on an emotional journey that ended with a feeling of closure and healing. I highly recommend this book to anyone going through a rough breakup or in a manipulative relathionship.
Author Jamie Patterson really does a great job of detailing the true story of the breakup of her marriage and the affects it had on her. At times this was very painful for me to read as it was so close to my experiences on so many levels.
I really loved this book and it took me on an emotional journey that ended with a feeling of closure and healing. I highly recommend this book to anyone going through a rough breakup or in a manipulative relathionship.
November 28, 2011
This book really grabbed me, and although I have been lucky enough not to have lived through a similarly scary situation, there is much I could identify about in terms of the dynamics of an unhealthy relationship, which most of us have lived through. This author did an amazing job clearly presenting where she was emotionally at the time the events took place, which makes the book so powerful an account of her harrowing journey.
March 1, 2015
An unusual little read. Something that happens the world over is captured in this simple but powerful book. The reader may find that Jamie should have handled things differently from the beginning (hard not to give spoilers!) although she did come to her senses in the end. Many women and men the world over will be able to relate to the stages of denial, grief, anger, hope and pain that infidelity (spoiler) can cause, and finally acceptance; that some things can not be fixed. Dog lovers beware!!
January 26, 2012
It must have take a lot for the memoirist to write this book. It's so easy for a most of us to forget that just because you're not physically hurt, then it's ok to stay in an unhealthy relationship. The toll of an abusive emotional relationship i feel.. hurts even more. Thank you Jamie for writing this memoir.
September 23, 2011
A very touching,moving,inspiring book!
There are some parts that made me sad,angry,such frustration that made me talk back at it as the story progress I learned a lot...it goes deeper than expected but I'm really glad at the end.
I hope and pray that all is well up to this day.Fighting! and cheers to you girl way to go!^_~
There are some parts that made me sad,angry,such frustration that made me talk back at it as the story progress I learned a lot...it goes deeper than expected but I'm really glad at the end.
I hope and pray that all is well up to this day.Fighting! and cheers to you girl way to go!^_~
April 19, 2015
This wasn't the type of book that I would normally choose, but I did end up reading the whole story. It is very deep and reminded me of the experiences of a friend who was emotionally abused by her ex husband. I think that many of us would recognise some of the behaviour described. I would have liked to have known more of what happened when Jamie went on to build a new life for herself
October 17, 2011
This book is impressive in its simplicity. Jamie drives home the point that abuse isn't always physical and describes the incredible strength that it takes to break free of mental and emotional abuse.
November 21, 2014
"Lost Eden" by Jamie Patterson was a free giveaway that I received. This book is a quick read and was emotional to me. I would recommend this book for every woman to read. It really is an eye awakening to see how much a woman will put up to save her marriage and when to let go.
October 9, 2011
A quick read...but very haunting read about a woman emotionally abused by her husband.
October 25, 2011
I reviewed this memoir as part of the From Left to Write Book Club here: http://www.spermiestyle.com/2011/10/l...
November 10, 2011
Honest and open. Jamie's story is as compelling as it is heartbreaking.
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