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Porn Again
In PORN A MEMOIR, Josh Sabarra throws open the proverbial closet – and bedroom – doors, taking readers on a Hollywood thrill-ride through growing up, coming out, coming of age and finally finding himself at 40. Despite being a high-level entertainment executive, Josh was still a virgin at 31. Uncomfortable in his own skin, haunted by painful childhood memories, he kept laser-focused on building an unparalleled career trajectory at the expense of his personal life.
Tormented by schoolmates for being “different,” Josh clung to his aberrantly close relationships with a small circle of adult females. But, even with that support, the shame and contempt that grew from his sexuality locked him in a prison of self-hate that robbed him of an emotional and sexual identity for more than three decades. Movie studio jobs, through which he met celebrity idols, led to friendships and relationships with some of the industry’s most notable characters. Those intimacies created a false sense of acceptance and approval, requiring that he continue to up the stakes – celebrity lovers, the crazy world of online dating, sexual fetishists and porn stars-for-hire.
The gay best friend you always wanted, Josh Sabarra delivers a whip-smart, poignant memoir set against a glittering backdrop that is at once heartbreaking, glamorous, sexy and hilariously honest.
Tormented by schoolmates for being “different,” Josh clung to his aberrantly close relationships with a small circle of adult females. But, even with that support, the shame and contempt that grew from his sexuality locked him in a prison of self-hate that robbed him of an emotional and sexual identity for more than three decades. Movie studio jobs, through which he met celebrity idols, led to friendships and relationships with some of the industry’s most notable characters. Those intimacies created a false sense of acceptance and approval, requiring that he continue to up the stakes – celebrity lovers, the crazy world of online dating, sexual fetishists and porn stars-for-hire.
The gay best friend you always wanted, Josh Sabarra delivers a whip-smart, poignant memoir set against a glittering backdrop that is at once heartbreaking, glamorous, sexy and hilariously honest.
346 pages, Paperback
First published September 15, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
December 18, 2014
At first glance, it would appear that Josh Sabarra has led a pretty charmed life. A former high-level entertainment executive in Hollywood, he's good looking and charming, knows a lot of celebrity gossip, and can count a number of famous people among his friends. He also has a tremendously close relationship with his parents—or perhaps too close.
"My uniquely close relationship with my parents has been a point of intrigue among friends. The frank nature of our conversations—which happen multiple times per day by phone—includes everything from work to romance to sex."
But behind his public persona, Josh was a tremendously insecure person. Tormented from a very young age for being different, for being unathletic and more interested in music, theater, and fashion, he felt much more comfortable around adult women, embarking on friendships with several with whom he felt a kinship. This lack of self-esteem led to overeating, which led to his being overweight, which resulted in body image issues. And because he heard too many negative slurs about gay people—even from his own parents—he sublimated any acceptance of his sexuality—until he was 30 years old.
As he grew older, he became confident with his looks (through lots of plastic surgery as well as diet). Hiding his true self motivated him to succeed in his career, and he quickly rose the ranks as a publicist and marketing executive. But ultimately the pressure of hiding his true self became too much to bear, and he was desperate to find true love, and share the "true Josh" that had been locked underneath the heterosexual, driven façade he created.
Porn Again is the cheeky yet moving story of a man coming to terms with, and eventually loving, who he is. Given the title, the book does go into some explicit detail about his finally exploring his sexuality, through romantic relationships, sexual liaisons, encounters with hired porn stars, online dating and hookup services, and even some celebrities—and he's unabashedly willing to share details.
He's also willing to dish a bit about some of his celebrity friends and former friends. While in some cases he refers to them obliquely, like "Ms. Drama Queen," he spares Ricki Lake in particular no mercy. It's definitely fun to hear about the side of celebrities you may suspect but never have true confirmation.
I really enjoyed this book, both the introspective and the titillating parts. It was much more moving than I expected it to be—so many reviews I've read focused on the gossipy parts instead—and while my life has been significantly less glamorous than Josh's, I can certainly identify with many of the emotions he talked about and the issues of self-esteem and self-acceptance he confronted. This wasn't the book I expected, especially with a title like Porn Again; it's far more than that. This is fun and memorable.
See all my reviews (and other stuff) at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
"My uniquely close relationship with my parents has been a point of intrigue among friends. The frank nature of our conversations—which happen multiple times per day by phone—includes everything from work to romance to sex."
But behind his public persona, Josh was a tremendously insecure person. Tormented from a very young age for being different, for being unathletic and more interested in music, theater, and fashion, he felt much more comfortable around adult women, embarking on friendships with several with whom he felt a kinship. This lack of self-esteem led to overeating, which led to his being overweight, which resulted in body image issues. And because he heard too many negative slurs about gay people—even from his own parents—he sublimated any acceptance of his sexuality—until he was 30 years old.
As he grew older, he became confident with his looks (through lots of plastic surgery as well as diet). Hiding his true self motivated him to succeed in his career, and he quickly rose the ranks as a publicist and marketing executive. But ultimately the pressure of hiding his true self became too much to bear, and he was desperate to find true love, and share the "true Josh" that had been locked underneath the heterosexual, driven façade he created.
Porn Again is the cheeky yet moving story of a man coming to terms with, and eventually loving, who he is. Given the title, the book does go into some explicit detail about his finally exploring his sexuality, through romantic relationships, sexual liaisons, encounters with hired porn stars, online dating and hookup services, and even some celebrities—and he's unabashedly willing to share details.
He's also willing to dish a bit about some of his celebrity friends and former friends. While in some cases he refers to them obliquely, like "Ms. Drama Queen," he spares Ricki Lake in particular no mercy. It's definitely fun to hear about the side of celebrities you may suspect but never have true confirmation.
I really enjoyed this book, both the introspective and the titillating parts. It was much more moving than I expected it to be—so many reviews I've read focused on the gossipy parts instead—and while my life has been significantly less glamorous than Josh's, I can certainly identify with many of the emotions he talked about and the issues of self-esteem and self-acceptance he confronted. This wasn't the book I expected, especially with a title like Porn Again; it's far more than that. This is fun and memorable.
See all my reviews (and other stuff) at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
March 30, 2021
Though my time devoted to reading is minimal lately--life, amirite?--when I had time to pick up PORN AGAIN by Sabarra, it was torture putting it back down.
A memoir that follows Sabarra from early childhood, to bar mitzvah, high school, college, and into his adult professional life, Sabarra gives the reader an unfiltered peek into every aspect of his life. We learn about his sexual awakening as a child/teen, how he struggled with body issues well into adulthood, losing his virginity--in his 30s--coming out, and tons of celebrity gossip. On its surface, it's a memoir that could have been written by anyone who has worked in Hollywood, I suppose, so why is it special?
Sabarra's candid retelling of his life--sometimes uncomfortable, but often hilarious and always charming--is astonishing. He doesn't try to make himself look perfect. He doesn't skip the dirty details. He tells his truth as it was, is, and will be.
One chapter in particular, "Hard to Swallow" left me with tears in my eyes for its straightforward and unfettered truth about dealing with grief for the first time as a teen.
At the end of the book, I was uplifted by the knowledge that Sabarra had found himself and learned to accept himself, but I was also floored by the honesty of the book. To imagine laying one's life out for millions to bear witness horrifies me. That alone made this book extraordinary.
If you're into memoirs, coming-of-age, tawdry tales, heartwarming moments, and celebrity gossip, I can't imagine you wouldn't enjoy PORN AGAIN.
A memoir that follows Sabarra from early childhood, to bar mitzvah, high school, college, and into his adult professional life, Sabarra gives the reader an unfiltered peek into every aspect of his life. We learn about his sexual awakening as a child/teen, how he struggled with body issues well into adulthood, losing his virginity--in his 30s--coming out, and tons of celebrity gossip. On its surface, it's a memoir that could have been written by anyone who has worked in Hollywood, I suppose, so why is it special?
Sabarra's candid retelling of his life--sometimes uncomfortable, but often hilarious and always charming--is astonishing. He doesn't try to make himself look perfect. He doesn't skip the dirty details. He tells his truth as it was, is, and will be.
One chapter in particular, "Hard to Swallow" left me with tears in my eyes for its straightforward and unfettered truth about dealing with grief for the first time as a teen.
At the end of the book, I was uplifted by the knowledge that Sabarra had found himself and learned to accept himself, but I was also floored by the honesty of the book. To imagine laying one's life out for millions to bear witness horrifies me. That alone made this book extraordinary.
If you're into memoirs, coming-of-age, tawdry tales, heartwarming moments, and celebrity gossip, I can't imagine you wouldn't enjoy PORN AGAIN.
February 4, 2015
Received this as a Christmas gift, so I must be honest and say that I had never heard of Mr. Sabarra. I thought the boy in the blue tee on the hot pink book cover was in his 20s, and in the photo of him on the back cover (in a big bundle of white linen) he looks even younger. I must say that Mr. Sabrra is quite fetching.
Yes, I confess that I was one of those boys who at age 9 knew all the words to all the songs from The Music Man. But, my upbringing -unlike his- did not include Florida, a parent who was a doctor, siblings, or summer camp. I did not even realize I was gay until I was 21, so I, luckily, did not go through a period of angst or depression over BEING gay: that came at 23 when the first guy I was in love with was straight.
I was a bit concerned with the book's initially incessant campiness. The point of departure, life-wise and book-wise, was the suicide of one of his teachers; from THAT point the book actually has moments of deep introspection that are almost sublime. A more shallow reader would call them "self-centered" but I would disagree. He clearly gives dimension to the people of his life in THEIR own terms, not just in terms of "Josh". There are relationships here, of course, but relations of individuals in relation.....
The sex was not overdone, neither in the quantitative nor qualitative recollections. He is a Brit, so Alan Cumming being uncut is not that farfetched.
Loved this: (page 151) "They weren't necessarily skilled or talented but rather lucky to have failed upward."
Disagreed with this: (page 290) "Who wouldn't want my life?" Um, me.
Though I am a pinko, paleoliberal, LaFollette Republican, I guess I must admire his business acumen to be successful by NOT enslaving the proletariat. Kudos.....says the green-eyed monster of envy.
But, Josh, if you want to know real, high quality, porno hottiness: Keith Dillon, late 1980s. Just saying.....
Yes, I confess that I was one of those boys who at age 9 knew all the words to all the songs from The Music Man. But, my upbringing -unlike his- did not include Florida, a parent who was a doctor, siblings, or summer camp. I did not even realize I was gay until I was 21, so I, luckily, did not go through a period of angst or depression over BEING gay: that came at 23 when the first guy I was in love with was straight.
I was a bit concerned with the book's initially incessant campiness. The point of departure, life-wise and book-wise, was the suicide of one of his teachers; from THAT point the book actually has moments of deep introspection that are almost sublime. A more shallow reader would call them "self-centered" but I would disagree. He clearly gives dimension to the people of his life in THEIR own terms, not just in terms of "Josh". There are relationships here, of course, but relations of individuals in relation.....
The sex was not overdone, neither in the quantitative nor qualitative recollections. He is a Brit, so Alan Cumming being uncut is not that farfetched.
Loved this: (page 151) "They weren't necessarily skilled or talented but rather lucky to have failed upward."
Disagreed with this: (page 290) "Who wouldn't want my life?" Um, me.
Though I am a pinko, paleoliberal, LaFollette Republican, I guess I must admire his business acumen to be successful by NOT enslaving the proletariat. Kudos.....says the green-eyed monster of envy.
But, Josh, if you want to know real, high quality, porno hottiness: Keith Dillon, late 1980s. Just saying.....
April 7, 2018
An argument can be made that Josh Sabarra writes from a position of white minority privilege, and therefore should have nothing worthwhile to complain about, given the more mundane problems of the middle-class, and even further down the ladder, the hand-to-mouth struggle for survival faced by so many of the world’s population. Being gay, Jewish, and fat simply pales in comparison.
(I remember a similar argument being lodged against HBO’s Looking that the show’s characters were too normal, well-balanced, and not to mention too materially and socially acquisitive, to reflect the zeitgeist of contemporary gayness.)
Yet therein lies the true value of Sabarra’s book: he is testament to the fact that so many contemporary problems confronted by the gay community, from body image to coming out to societal acceptance and sexual confidence are, indeed, universal issues that not even the upper echelons of society, such as ‘celebrity culture’, are immune from.
Sabarra writes with a disarming frankness that is appealingly funny in its anecdotal intimacy. Does he gloss over a lot of issues and events that were clearly very painful, as much as they were transformative, during the course of his life? Yes; but then the aim here is not dwell in self-misery, but to celebrate one man’s journey towards self-acceptance – which is all of our journeys.
My only wish is that Sabarra had not ended his book where he did, as I would have loved to have read how he eventually ended up establishing his own PR agency, how being on the other end of the celebrity/employee equation changed him ... and whether or not he has ultimately found happiness.
(I remember a similar argument being lodged against HBO’s Looking that the show’s characters were too normal, well-balanced, and not to mention too materially and socially acquisitive, to reflect the zeitgeist of contemporary gayness.)
Yet therein lies the true value of Sabarra’s book: he is testament to the fact that so many contemporary problems confronted by the gay community, from body image to coming out to societal acceptance and sexual confidence are, indeed, universal issues that not even the upper echelons of society, such as ‘celebrity culture’, are immune from.
Sabarra writes with a disarming frankness that is appealingly funny in its anecdotal intimacy. Does he gloss over a lot of issues and events that were clearly very painful, as much as they were transformative, during the course of his life? Yes; but then the aim here is not dwell in self-misery, but to celebrate one man’s journey towards self-acceptance – which is all of our journeys.
My only wish is that Sabarra had not ended his book where he did, as I would have loved to have read how he eventually ended up establishing his own PR agency, how being on the other end of the celebrity/employee equation changed him ... and whether or not he has ultimately found happiness.
August 3, 2021
I loved this bold, authentic coming of age and coming out memoir. It was so fresh, witty, and endearing. I found myself wanting to hug the author while simultaneously feeling so frustrated at the challenges he faced in being accepted for who he is--an amazing human. This should be required reading for all of humanity as we strive to embraces both our differences and what we all have in common--the need to love and be loved.
April 30, 2020
First 125 pages--boring and creepy. The middle section--interesting virgin stories but not enough about his career. The last portion of the book--lots of fun when he dumps on celebrities he has been close with.
This is a messy book since the opening third is totally wrong-headed. Sabarra claims to remember all sorts of details from when he was five years old, including sexual adventures. He is very graphic in describing his sexual playfulness from age five to seven. It's creepy.
He also goes into too much detail about a very dull high school life where he never dated and didn't do anything sexually. A couple of adult women start to hang out with him when he's 14, including one of his teachers. Odd, especially when the teacher he socializes with daily suddenly kills herself.
He had his rich mommy and daddy to help him when he was bullied, but they ended up enabling his bad behavior for the rest of his life because even when he became a highly-paid Hollywood executive they continued to give him money and pay for things. Weird.
Once he gets into college and starts his career things get a bit interesting, but there are almost no details about his work at a soap opera or his Disney career. When he goes from New York to Hollywood he still holds back on the stories of his move to Warner Brothers and other major employers. He fails to use the book as a chance to share behind-the-scenes details about working for these companies other than that he had bitchy, self-centered, abusive bosses. Don't we all?
Where it really becomes fun is when he finally has sex at age 31, which was right after he had his first date and first kiss. It's hard to believe an attractive Hollywood executive was so inexperienced. He makes up for it though when he tires of his new boyfriend of a few years and starts exploring other men (with his boyfriend's approval). That leads to a series of paid dates with porn stars, a breakup, some bad choices, and long-term loneliness when he mistakes sex for intimate affection.
What I like about the book is that Josh admits he fails in many of his choices, but that doesn't stop him from lusting after the latest porn star. By the way, the title of the book is a bit misleading--Josh doesn't do porn and the porn characters are mostly peripheral. This is really a coming of age story, just with someone very adult and well off--who calls his parents after every sexual conquest to tell him the details. (Seriously.) He also doesn't do drugs and rarely drinks--so he's a fairly moral, decent guy who simply is addicted to sex with other guys.
The best part of the book is when he starts opening up near the end about the horrible famous people he had to work for, and the shocking candidness about a couple of really bad celebrities. Ricki Lake not only gets royally thrown under the bus but she has tracks all over her much-used body.
There are also some positive celeb stories t00, including the hilarious scene at the pre-Oscar party where he is sitting within 20 feet of Alan Cumming, who he had bedded on Thursday, Josh's live-in boyfriend, who he bedded on Friday, and skater Johnny Weir, who he had sex with on Saturday. It's details like that which make the book readable. I only wish the whole thing would have had much more about his career within very famous companies instead of so much about his dull childhood and oddly supportive parents.
This is a messy book since the opening third is totally wrong-headed. Sabarra claims to remember all sorts of details from when he was five years old, including sexual adventures. He is very graphic in describing his sexual playfulness from age five to seven. It's creepy.
He also goes into too much detail about a very dull high school life where he never dated and didn't do anything sexually. A couple of adult women start to hang out with him when he's 14, including one of his teachers. Odd, especially when the teacher he socializes with daily suddenly kills herself.
He had his rich mommy and daddy to help him when he was bullied, but they ended up enabling his bad behavior for the rest of his life because even when he became a highly-paid Hollywood executive they continued to give him money and pay for things. Weird.
Once he gets into college and starts his career things get a bit interesting, but there are almost no details about his work at a soap opera or his Disney career. When he goes from New York to Hollywood he still holds back on the stories of his move to Warner Brothers and other major employers. He fails to use the book as a chance to share behind-the-scenes details about working for these companies other than that he had bitchy, self-centered, abusive bosses. Don't we all?
Where it really becomes fun is when he finally has sex at age 31, which was right after he had his first date and first kiss. It's hard to believe an attractive Hollywood executive was so inexperienced. He makes up for it though when he tires of his new boyfriend of a few years and starts exploring other men (with his boyfriend's approval). That leads to a series of paid dates with porn stars, a breakup, some bad choices, and long-term loneliness when he mistakes sex for intimate affection.
What I like about the book is that Josh admits he fails in many of his choices, but that doesn't stop him from lusting after the latest porn star. By the way, the title of the book is a bit misleading--Josh doesn't do porn and the porn characters are mostly peripheral. This is really a coming of age story, just with someone very adult and well off--who calls his parents after every sexual conquest to tell him the details. (Seriously.) He also doesn't do drugs and rarely drinks--so he's a fairly moral, decent guy who simply is addicted to sex with other guys.
The best part of the book is when he starts opening up near the end about the horrible famous people he had to work for, and the shocking candidness about a couple of really bad celebrities. Ricki Lake not only gets royally thrown under the bus but she has tracks all over her much-used body.
There are also some positive celeb stories t00, including the hilarious scene at the pre-Oscar party where he is sitting within 20 feet of Alan Cumming, who he had bedded on Thursday, Josh's live-in boyfriend, who he bedded on Friday, and skater Johnny Weir, who he had sex with on Saturday. It's details like that which make the book readable. I only wish the whole thing would have had much more about his career within very famous companies instead of so much about his dull childhood and oddly supportive parents.
June 25, 2024
What makes someone's life worthy of a memoir? It is a fair question, considering the multitude of titles in this genre that have topped the bestseller list.
Augusten Burroughs chronicled his unusual childhood and subsequent alcoholism. Josh Kilmer-Purcell shared the misadventures of his life in drag. Jeannette Winterson was raised by a woman who made Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver and lived to tell the the tale. These are examples of compelling stories by survivors.
Josh Sabarra's entertaining, albeit self-indulgent, memoir, "Porn Again," could be viewed as a story of survival, but the author is never in any physical danger or a victim of abuse. Instead, the obstacle he cannot seem to overcome is his own insecurity, despite his good looks and tremendous success.
Sabarra's childhood memories are not unlike those of most closeted or questioning young boys. He becomes aware of his affinity for the same sex at an especially young age while gravitating towards the opposite sex for companionship.
His refusal to take part in typical grade school and collegiate activities fortuitously serves young Josh well when he pursues an internship at a local paper that plants the seed for an esteemed future career as a celebrity publicist.
While Josh continues to thrive professionally, his personal, romantic life is not so much sad or tragic but rather uneventful. Still a virgin at 31, he finally comes out to his family and meets an attractive Australian gentleman, Gavin.
The overarching desire for Josh to sow his wild oats results in the end of his long term relationship with Gavin but kickstarts a series of wild sexual adventures with celebrities and porn stars.
The author's career is impressive, and his meteoric rise to the top is certainly admirable, but we don't really get to know him well enough personally. His voracious sexual appetite makes for a few brief segments of titillating reading, but whenever he starts to speak frankly, it is usually coupled with catty commentary or industry gossip.
"Porn Again" is an easy and mostly enjoyable read, yet Sabarra clearly has an axe to grind with select public figures, and the stories he shares about them are not germane to his journey of self-discovery.
I am certain that if we met in person, I would be transfixed by both his knowledge and experiences. His memoir is a jumbled assortment of overlapping anecdotes about his career and personal life that were likely more interesting to live through than read about.
Augusten Burroughs chronicled his unusual childhood and subsequent alcoholism. Josh Kilmer-Purcell shared the misadventures of his life in drag. Jeannette Winterson was raised by a woman who made Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver and lived to tell the the tale. These are examples of compelling stories by survivors.
Josh Sabarra's entertaining, albeit self-indulgent, memoir, "Porn Again," could be viewed as a story of survival, but the author is never in any physical danger or a victim of abuse. Instead, the obstacle he cannot seem to overcome is his own insecurity, despite his good looks and tremendous success.
Sabarra's childhood memories are not unlike those of most closeted or questioning young boys. He becomes aware of his affinity for the same sex at an especially young age while gravitating towards the opposite sex for companionship.
His refusal to take part in typical grade school and collegiate activities fortuitously serves young Josh well when he pursues an internship at a local paper that plants the seed for an esteemed future career as a celebrity publicist.
While Josh continues to thrive professionally, his personal, romantic life is not so much sad or tragic but rather uneventful. Still a virgin at 31, he finally comes out to his family and meets an attractive Australian gentleman, Gavin.
The overarching desire for Josh to sow his wild oats results in the end of his long term relationship with Gavin but kickstarts a series of wild sexual adventures with celebrities and porn stars.
The author's career is impressive, and his meteoric rise to the top is certainly admirable, but we don't really get to know him well enough personally. His voracious sexual appetite makes for a few brief segments of titillating reading, but whenever he starts to speak frankly, it is usually coupled with catty commentary or industry gossip.
"Porn Again" is an easy and mostly enjoyable read, yet Sabarra clearly has an axe to grind with select public figures, and the stories he shares about them are not germane to his journey of self-discovery.
I am certain that if we met in person, I would be transfixed by both his knowledge and experiences. His memoir is a jumbled assortment of overlapping anecdotes about his career and personal life that were likely more interesting to live through than read about.
June 24, 2021
Josh Sabarra in his groundbreaking first book will have you howling in laughter, crying in moments of real pain and pulling for him to pull it all together by the end. Josh is the gay best that even we as gays want as best friends. They kind that dish the "T" and serve it with cake too, henny,; which by the way is Josh's favorite dessert. From severely closeted Jewish gay boy to arm candy on Hollywood Royalty. From mere tv flunkie/office boy to owning his own PR Production I swear I could listen to Josh tell even more stories, and I have a very strong feeling he left some out, believe it or not; even though he tlks openly candid about Rent Boys, his addiction to gay porn, of not loving himself enough, his fixation early on with cosmetic surgery to even taking his parent to a porno store. What you walk away with most, for most of the book is that Josh cares more about what people think of him, than what he thinks of himself. He's the type to put himself last and to a big fault from the occurrences at Camp Shalom to a "friendship" with Rikki Lake. It's all here, boldly, balls to the wall, no truth left untold, unapologetic and candid are not enough words to discuss his bravery in his candor. I could barely put it down, even with the tears of his apparent pain.
You walking away feeling you know Josh better than you thought you could, and I am beyond sure there is SO much MORE to this wonderfully gifted writer and man. Images in his text linger wonderfully one moment and painfully the next and if anything we see the enormous growth Josh goes through in this book: from his struggle accepting his gaynesss, to his coming out, to his first gay sexual romp in the sheets, his love life or lack thereof depending where you maybe in the story, but once again it is his with, charm, poise and eloquence that make you turn the page. Josh should be beyond thrilled with this as his very first endeavor and I for one CAN NOT begin to SING his praises enough. Henny, RUN to your bookstore and grab yourself, "Porn Again"--- yu'll tahnk me for the recommendation, trust me!
You walking away feeling you know Josh better than you thought you could, and I am beyond sure there is SO much MORE to this wonderfully gifted writer and man. Images in his text linger wonderfully one moment and painfully the next and if anything we see the enormous growth Josh goes through in this book: from his struggle accepting his gaynesss, to his coming out, to his first gay sexual romp in the sheets, his love life or lack thereof depending where you maybe in the story, but once again it is his with, charm, poise and eloquence that make you turn the page. Josh should be beyond thrilled with this as his very first endeavor and I for one CAN NOT begin to SING his praises enough. Henny, RUN to your bookstore and grab yourself, "Porn Again"--- yu'll tahnk me for the recommendation, trust me!
August 25, 2018
I loved this book. First let me tell you that I know Josh and consider him a friend. I worked for his families hairdresser for 10 years when he was just a child. Young myself at the time, my " gaydar" wasnt polished yet, but Josh was easy to spot. I knew he was gay from the moment I met him in his teens. I knew he wasnt " out " but I had no idea he was so conflicted about his sexuality. When I heard that Josh wrote this book, I rushed out to buy it. Josh always had the coolest stories to tell about the A listers he had met, when he would come home for visits after his career had begun. When I read this book I laughed, cried, gasped, got mad and blushed, but let me tell you my biggest emotion... Guilt. I wish I had known the pain Josh was in. If I had any idea how hard he was trying to keep that under wraps, I would have said something to him. Maybe he would have been able to accept it sooner, if he had known how poorly he was keeping his secret.
This book should be read by anyone and everyone. This honest , heartbreaking book drives home the fact that being gay is NOT a choice. It beaks my heart to read that Josh didn't love who he was and that he felt like such a fake. I loved Josh the moment I met him almost 30 years ago and still do love his bigger than life , sarcastic, funny, witty and loving personality. Reading Josh's book , I couldn't believe how raw and honest he was about his insecurities. " porn again " is a good title, but " naked " suits it better. Josh puts it all out there and that is braver than anything I've ever witnessed. I am humbled to have been allowed such an intimate look into his tortured, confusing, embarrassing , heartbreaking past, but I also rejoice in his revelation that he is and always has been special. I don't care who anyone, gay or straight, loves and Im so glad Josh understands that now.
This book should be read by anyone and everyone. This honest , heartbreaking book drives home the fact that being gay is NOT a choice. It beaks my heart to read that Josh didn't love who he was and that he felt like such a fake. I loved Josh the moment I met him almost 30 years ago and still do love his bigger than life , sarcastic, funny, witty and loving personality. Reading Josh's book , I couldn't believe how raw and honest he was about his insecurities. " porn again " is a good title, but " naked " suits it better. Josh puts it all out there and that is braver than anything I've ever witnessed. I am humbled to have been allowed such an intimate look into his tortured, confusing, embarrassing , heartbreaking past, but I also rejoice in his revelation that he is and always has been special. I don't care who anyone, gay or straight, loves and Im so glad Josh understands that now.
January 31, 2018
I could hardly tear myself away from Josh Sabarra's book, it kept me company on long cold, winter nights. His early years parallel mine, inasmuch as growing up feeling like a fish out of water, preferring to form friendships with adults as opposed to other kids, and having an affinity for music and film. Despite being a child of privilege and developing a successful career in the entertainment industry at a young age, he didn't feel comfortable in his own skin, and finally accepted his homosexuality in his early 30's, remaining a virgin until then as well. He tells his story with extreme candor and humor, and we feel like we are right along for the ride. Some of his encounters with celebrities will have you guessing who he is talking about, yet others' identities and proclivities are not spared. Some passages are heartbreaking, some are titillating, but all are palpably real and truly heartfelt. This book is for you if you've ever felt unable to truly be yourself and see how Josh triumphs in the end. You won't want this book to end. Let's hope there will be a sequel!
April 20, 2018
Disclaimer: I know the author and he's even funnier in person!
Josh's memoir had me in stitches. I kind of feel bad for my husband who, on multiple nights, would be trying to fall asleep only to find me shoving him awake so that I could read him a funny passage or four! It's not just laughs, though. There's a lot of heartfelt writing in here, too. Josh is an expert at picking the right moments to deliver an emotional punch. Pick this one up if you want an entertaining insider look at Hollywood and a moving story of the importance of finding your self-confidence.
If you liked this, make sure to follow me on Goodreads for more reviews!
Josh's memoir had me in stitches. I kind of feel bad for my husband who, on multiple nights, would be trying to fall asleep only to find me shoving him awake so that I could read him a funny passage or four! It's not just laughs, though. There's a lot of heartfelt writing in here, too. Josh is an expert at picking the right moments to deliver an emotional punch. Pick this one up if you want an entertaining insider look at Hollywood and a moving story of the importance of finding your self-confidence.
If you liked this, make sure to follow me on Goodreads for more reviews!
September 24, 2021
This memoir has it all. Hollywood gossip. Inspirational stories about being true to yourself. Campiness. Shade. Sex. Very entertaining.
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Book Buds reviewed this memoir: https://youtu.be/2Mc5WKdErTU
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March 23, 2019
An exhausting exercise in self-published self-indulgence.
September 7, 2022
This book is a riot! I absolutely loved Josh's perspective and reading about his experiences. It's a heartfelt memoir that will make you laugh out loud.
September 20, 2025
A good 80 to 90% is not insufferable.
June 28, 2024
Josh Sabarra is a fun person to follow on Instagram. Where he publicises his books. So as a gay man myself, I like the content he posts. So I wanted to give his books a try. Starting with this one. I started reading it today…..
I gave it a few chapters and I just couldn’t get into it. I was bored from the start. Nothing kept my interests whatsoever. And I feel bad for rating it this way without finishing the book but.. I just can’t.
I gave it a few chapters and I just couldn’t get into it. I was bored from the start. Nothing kept my interests whatsoever. And I feel bad for rating it this way without finishing the book but.. I just can’t.
August 26, 2016
The story is similar to Denial Deceit Discovery but lacked depth in the characters, rawness and honesty. At times Porn Again was good - I could relate to the author's difficulties as a confused child growing up and not understanding his sexuality. His lack of confidence and need for attention was also familiar. I also enjoyed reading how his parents grew in their acceptance and understanding. I also respect the author of sharing such a private story with others. Great title and cover!
What I did not like about the book was that at times I felt the story jumped around too much and confused me. At one point I thought the author was now in Uni but suddenly he was back in school. I also found some parts unrealistic - especially the author as very young child. The vocabulary and story telling (especially about how sexually aware he was at 5) was not relatable. The referencing to Hollywood stars was sometimes annoying. I appreciate this was the cirlces that the author mixed in but on occasions it felt nothing more than name dropping. I am sure there are a few unhappy celebs mentioned who are not too happy.
Kudos to the author for sharing the story but I am not sure I connected with the book and the characters as much as I wanted to. I was left with mixed feelings when reviewing this memoir.
What I did not like about the book was that at times I felt the story jumped around too much and confused me. At one point I thought the author was now in Uni but suddenly he was back in school. I also found some parts unrealistic - especially the author as very young child. The vocabulary and story telling (especially about how sexually aware he was at 5) was not relatable. The referencing to Hollywood stars was sometimes annoying. I appreciate this was the cirlces that the author mixed in but on occasions it felt nothing more than name dropping. I am sure there are a few unhappy celebs mentioned who are not too happy.
Kudos to the author for sharing the story but I am not sure I connected with the book and the characters as much as I wanted to. I was left with mixed feelings when reviewing this memoir.
December 4, 2014
Stupid, stupid, stupid me. I can't believe I read this. So stupid. I will never take a Frank Decaro recommendation seriously again.
Here is a synopsis: An extremely effeminate and apparently rotund child is ridiculed throughout his jewish childhood. He is also raised by extremely wealthy parents. His neuroses are encouraged to the point that he has had several surgeries by the time he is 18. His fat and his nose for sure. I lost track of the other things.
His best friends in childhood are older women VERY strange. He doesn't have sex until 31 at which time it does not appear that he made any friends at all so his mother is the person who gets to hear about his intimate sexual contacts mostly with porn stars that he has to pay to have sex with him, also told to his mother. Here's a tip, thats what friends are for, you don't tell that crap to your mother. Since he is a magical production from her magical loins it is just fine and dandy with her. Alan Cumming apparently had some dalliance with him-lost a ton of respect for him on that. Gross and bad.
Here is a synopsis: An extremely effeminate and apparently rotund child is ridiculed throughout his jewish childhood. He is also raised by extremely wealthy parents. His neuroses are encouraged to the point that he has had several surgeries by the time he is 18. His fat and his nose for sure. I lost track of the other things.
His best friends in childhood are older women VERY strange. He doesn't have sex until 31 at which time it does not appear that he made any friends at all so his mother is the person who gets to hear about his intimate sexual contacts mostly with porn stars that he has to pay to have sex with him, also told to his mother. Here's a tip, thats what friends are for, you don't tell that crap to your mother. Since he is a magical production from her magical loins it is just fine and dandy with her. Alan Cumming apparently had some dalliance with him-lost a ton of respect for him on that. Gross and bad.
September 28, 2020
Sometimes you come across a memoir that connects with you. Either the personality of the author is like yours, you’ve experienced similar events, or you just seem to be attracted to their personality. In the case of this book, it was all of the above.
From the moment I started reading, I couldn’t get Josh out of my head. I wanted to keep reading about the quirky things he did as a kid, the celebrities he interacted/ slept with, or how he processed through problems he was going through in the PR world. When I wasn’t reading, I was anticipating picking up the book and diving into the next stage of his life. His humor was elating and I found myself happy to be along for the rollercoaster ride that was his life. It was a delightful feeling to be that invested in a book.
All-in-all, it was a quick read, and I enjoyed it quite a bit!
From the moment I started reading, I couldn’t get Josh out of my head. I wanted to keep reading about the quirky things he did as a kid, the celebrities he interacted/ slept with, or how he processed through problems he was going through in the PR world. When I wasn’t reading, I was anticipating picking up the book and diving into the next stage of his life. His humor was elating and I found myself happy to be along for the rollercoaster ride that was his life. It was a delightful feeling to be that invested in a book.
All-in-all, it was a quick read, and I enjoyed it quite a bit!
June 22, 2025
I first saw this book on social media. Had no clue who Josh was or what this book was about. Here's the thing, I'm well known within the porn industry so it definitely threw me off cuz I couldn't figure who this guy was lol. I don't know why but I ending up buying it and it was the best decision made. He writes about his sexual adventures and how he loses his virginity well past his 30s. One part broke my heart, when he writes about his teacher who committed suicide. Sorry for the spoiler. Since reading this memoir I have met Josh and have become good friends. Oh, one more spoiler, he's not a porn star, lol.
This is a must read memoir.
This is a must read memoir.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 11, 2016
Very interesting story of a young gay mans coming out coming to terms with being who he is and his life dealing with celebrities, now the book is fun and well written however the last story he tells that seems really real and deep is the love affair with the porn story the part that at a point seems almost a throw away is his friendship with Ricky lake. Who does not come across very nice
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 24, 2016
I've never heard of Josh Sabarra, but I was intrigued by the cover and the title, which I guess was the point. Sabarra is obviously funny, but I'm not sure if the structure of the book really served his style of humor.
June 4, 2015
Very entertaining. Deeper than the title might suggest...
January 6, 2022
Insert rolling eyes emoji here! 🙄
I’m sure the elevator speech for this book sounded really good.
well, meh. 2 ⭐️
I’m sure the elevator speech for this book sounded really good.
well, meh. 2 ⭐️
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