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The Full Monty #1
Bite The Big One!
Jennifer Owens had her fair share of troubles, what with being pestered by dead people, her best friend Becky being the worst witch in the history of witchcraft and being stalked by a sex mad octogenarian. She didn’t think things could get any worse. But that was before she became the target of a blood-thirsty band of vampires who wanted to protect a secret that only she could unlock, if only she could figure out what it was! Now she found herself bang in the middle of a mystery with dead bodies and dead people turning up all over the place, as well as one steaming hot vampire slayer determined to be her knight in shining armour. But is he real or another one of Becky’s silly spells? And would they be able to figure out the vampire secret before she became their dinner?
***
He told me he was a gardener; a landscape gardener, no less. Not once did he mention “slash vampire slayer”. I’m pretty sure if he had, the sexy eyes and bulging biceps wouldn’t have looked quite so appealing.
Mind you, who was I to talk?
When I was a child, I wanted to be a ballet dancer, or a gymnast, or even a swordfish (admittedly I was suffering from hallucinations brought on by a fever at the time). I never, ever, in my wildest moments, thought that when I grew up, I’d be the chronicler of the dead. Nor would I have wanted to. The dead don’t keep office hours and certainly don’t respect your privacy when you’re on the loo. And they don’t pay. I had to resort to selling sex aids to geriatrics just to keep a roof over my head.
On the plus side, I was never out of work. There was always a queue of them (the dead that is, not geriatrics). Wherever you turned they were there, wanting to pass on the messages they hadn’t had the forethought to pass on before they did. But someone didn’t want one of the messages to be delivered. Someone who wasn’t entirely in the land of the living themselves. Someone who was willing to go to extreme lengths to shut me up.
On top of all that, I had to spend my days dodging the ill-conceived spells my best friend cast in her quest to ensure I achieved the ultimate in sexual satisfaction (my advice? Don’t tell your friend if you’ve never had a Big O, especially if she’s a witch!). And now my dog’s back-answering me as well. As if I didn’t have enough to cope with, what with my father’s mid-life crisis and being stalked by said vampire slayer.
Someone please give me fate’s address…I feel a strongly worded letter coming on!
***
He told me he was a gardener; a landscape gardener, no less. Not once did he mention “slash vampire slayer”. I’m pretty sure if he had, the sexy eyes and bulging biceps wouldn’t have looked quite so appealing.
Mind you, who was I to talk?
When I was a child, I wanted to be a ballet dancer, or a gymnast, or even a swordfish (admittedly I was suffering from hallucinations brought on by a fever at the time). I never, ever, in my wildest moments, thought that when I grew up, I’d be the chronicler of the dead. Nor would I have wanted to. The dead don’t keep office hours and certainly don’t respect your privacy when you’re on the loo. And they don’t pay. I had to resort to selling sex aids to geriatrics just to keep a roof over my head.
On the plus side, I was never out of work. There was always a queue of them (the dead that is, not geriatrics). Wherever you turned they were there, wanting to pass on the messages they hadn’t had the forethought to pass on before they did. But someone didn’t want one of the messages to be delivered. Someone who wasn’t entirely in the land of the living themselves. Someone who was willing to go to extreme lengths to shut me up.
On top of all that, I had to spend my days dodging the ill-conceived spells my best friend cast in her quest to ensure I achieved the ultimate in sexual satisfaction (my advice? Don’t tell your friend if you’ve never had a Big O, especially if she’s a witch!). And now my dog’s back-answering me as well. As if I didn’t have enough to cope with, what with my father’s mid-life crisis and being stalked by said vampire slayer.
Someone please give me fate’s address…I feel a strongly worded letter coming on!
284 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 19, 2014
53 people are currently reading
139 people want to read
About the author
Sharon Karaa
8 books261 followersJoin me on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/authorsharon...
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Sharon Karaa is a mass of contradictions but two facets of her character have always battled for supremacy; her logical self (let's call him Frank) and her artistic side (lets her call Misty).
Until recently, Frank won every battle, forcing Sharon into a life based on most probable outcome and, to give him his credit, it has led to a fairly comfortable if rather boring life so far.
Then Misty took up kick boxing and gave Frank a good kick in the goodies.
Sharon lives with her husband in a little village north of Newcastle upon Tyne, England. She doesn't have a cat.
Visit Sharon's website at http://www.sharonkaraa.co.uk/
Tweet to me on Twitter - https://twitter.com/sharonkaraa
Follow me on Pinterest - https://uk.pinterest.com/skaraa2/
Sharon Karaa is a mass of contradictions but two facets of her character have always battled for supremacy; her logical self (let's call him Frank) and her artistic side (lets her call Misty).
Until recently, Frank won every battle, forcing Sharon into a life based on most probable outcome and, to give him his credit, it has led to a fairly comfortable if rather boring life so far.
Then Misty took up kick boxing and gave Frank a good kick in the goodies.
Sharon lives with her husband in a little village north of Newcastle upon Tyne, England. She doesn't have a cat.
Visit Sharon's website at http://www.sharonkaraa.co.uk/
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
November 13, 2015
This crazy little sub-genre of books is a bit like KFC for me. I mean, KFC always seems like a good idea while you're sitting there in drive-thru. Then you take a bite and things start to go wrong. By the time you've finished you swear you're never going to touch the stuff again.
But whether it's 3 weeks or 3 months, you will always find yourself sitting in your car in drive-thru thinking to yourself, "This time it will be different".
Well...
This time it was different.
This book is surprisingly very good. Dare I say it, great! Half-way through I decided I want more of this and bought another book by the same author.
OK, it's not perfect, there is a plot flaw you could drive a truck through. I'm talking a plot flaw bigger than the one in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
But I don't care.
I loved this book.
But whether it's 3 weeks or 3 months, you will always find yourself sitting in your car in drive-thru thinking to yourself, "This time it will be different".
Well...
This time it was different.
This book is surprisingly very good. Dare I say it, great! Half-way through I decided I want more of this and bought another book by the same author.
OK, it's not perfect, there is a plot flaw you could drive a truck through. I'm talking a plot flaw bigger than the one in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
But I don't care.
I loved this book.
May 24, 2016
An enjoyable light contemporary romance, good as an easy commuter novel where your day is fractured into segments.
February 16, 2015
Independent reviewer for PR&ATR.
Jennifer Owens can talk to and see ghosts. Her best friend Becky McAllister is the worst witch EVER!! Both of them work at a sex shop where a sex crazed octogenarian follows Jen around all the time. It's not enought that Jennifer has ghosts bugging her, now thanks to one of Becky's screwed up spells her Jack Russell terrier Monty can talk! While walking Monty she meets Tom a gardener by day and vampire hunter by night.He saves her from vampires who are after her because she can talk to ghosts. She has something they want and they won't stop till they get it. So they make a deal with the devil sort of and team up with another faction of Vampires so Jen is protected while she does what she has to do to help them. When Tom declaires his love for Jen she is convinced it's all due to a love spell from Becky. Can they finish the project while Jen has all her blood where it belongs? Is Tom really under a spell or is it real love? This is fast paced, action packed, and funny. Who wouldn't love a snarky talking dog? Ms. Karas home run number 3!!!
Jennifer Owens can talk to and see ghosts. Her best friend Becky McAllister is the worst witch EVER!! Both of them work at a sex shop where a sex crazed octogenarian follows Jen around all the time. It's not enought that Jennifer has ghosts bugging her, now thanks to one of Becky's screwed up spells her Jack Russell terrier Monty can talk! While walking Monty she meets Tom a gardener by day and vampire hunter by night.He saves her from vampires who are after her because she can talk to ghosts. She has something they want and they won't stop till they get it. So they make a deal with the devil sort of and team up with another faction of Vampires so Jen is protected while she does what she has to do to help them. When Tom declaires his love for Jen she is convinced it's all due to a love spell from Becky. Can they finish the project while Jen has all her blood where it belongs? Is Tom really under a spell or is it real love? This is fast paced, action packed, and funny. Who wouldn't love a snarky talking dog? Ms. Karas home run number 3!!!
April 22, 2015
A good romantic comedy
This was a story about a woman who had bad luck with guys but could see and talk to ghosts. It was a fun read that I enjoyed. There is a love interest and a mystery that gets solved at the end. There is no cliffhanger and a HEA
This was a story about a woman who had bad luck with guys but could see and talk to ghosts. It was a fun read that I enjoyed. There is a love interest and a mystery that gets solved at the end. There is no cliffhanger and a HEA
December 7, 2014
Great Fun
This book is a hoot! It could use an editor for typos and such but, with that in mind, go for it!
This book is a hoot! It could use an editor for typos and such but, with that in mind, go for it!
February 2, 2015
I always enjoy this author's books. Try all of them...they are great fun. Hope more people will discover them!
November 24, 2015
Picture this ... Your name is Jennifer and you have a best friend named Becky. You are really fortunate to have a best friend (Becky) who is a witch. You are not quite so fortunate since Becky is not so skilled in witchcraft and her spells usually misfire with strange consequences to your life and your sweet little dog Monty. Now, to spice up your day, try and figure out why a gang of vampires is trying to kill you and a ghost is trashing your house. How is that for a start to your day? Think things can't go down hill? Just read on ...
I have really developed a liking for Sharon Karaa books. The humor in general, the abundance of really funny one liners and the truly likable and not-so-likable characters make this series of books a true success.
I hope you enjoy the Northern Witch series as much as I have.
I have really developed a liking for Sharon Karaa books. The humor in general, the abundance of really funny one liners and the truly likable and not-so-likable characters make this series of books a true success.
I hope you enjoy the Northern Witch series as much as I have.
October 23, 2015
Jennifer Owens had her fair share of troubles, what with being pestered by dead people and having to dodge the well-intentioned spells cast by her best friend, Becky. On top of that, she has to contend with a sex-mad octogenarian who seemed to be stalking her. She didn't think things could get any worse
It's not often I come across a book where I like every character...I liked EVERY character in this book, even the "bad guys". I have the audio version and let me tell you, the narrator was spot on! Becky and Monty had to be my favorites of the bunch. There were moments when I was actually LOLing :-) I will definitely read this author again.
It's not often I come across a book where I like every character...I liked EVERY character in this book, even the "bad guys". I have the audio version and let me tell you, the narrator was spot on! Becky and Monty had to be my favorites of the bunch. There were moments when I was actually LOLing :-) I will definitely read this author again.
June 5, 2015
There is a big difference in the English language when comparing the UK to the US. I normally don't care for books written by authors from the UK because there's a lot of terminology that is extremely different. But this book was amazing. I couldn't put it down. This is the first UK author who I will definitely be following and reading more of her works. I can't wait to read more. I hope my favorite character is in her other stories as well. Monty is awesome. She really brought him to life. I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review.
June 2, 2015
Funny and Cute
The characters are fun and work well for the story. Each one has quirks that endear themselves to the reader. An interesting mix of mystery and hilarity. A spell gone wrong adds a talking dog, a ghost whisper and a dysfunctional witch into an interesting story with pesky vampires, an uptight mother and a slayer vying for attention.
A small amount of editing is needed, however, this is a cute and funny read.
The characters are fun and work well for the story. Each one has quirks that endear themselves to the reader. An interesting mix of mystery and hilarity. A spell gone wrong adds a talking dog, a ghost whisper and a dysfunctional witch into an interesting story with pesky vampires, an uptight mother and a slayer vying for attention.
A small amount of editing is needed, however, this is a cute and funny read.
June 21, 2015
I loved this book! It was funny and a fast, smooth read!
The characters were well developed!
Monty was a hoot! Spence was insightful! Becky was a delightful mess!
Jen and Tom were a great match!
I want to thank the author and the mistake from Choosey Bookworm that allowed me to read the book for free!! This is my honest review!!
I highly recommend this book!
Keep writing Sharon! These characters have stories to tell!
The characters were well developed!
Monty was a hoot! Spence was insightful! Becky was a delightful mess!
Jen and Tom were a great match!
I want to thank the author and the mistake from Choosey Bookworm that allowed me to read the book for free!! This is my honest review!!
I highly recommend this book!
Keep writing Sharon! These characters have stories to tell!
December 9, 2015
Definitely a Good One
If you have read "The Last Challenge," the feel is about the same (with a better ending). The comedy is funny, and I found myself laughing out loud often.
The characters are awesome, but it lost a little for me when the pov changed, making me question who's head I'm in for at least a quarter page.
I like Sharon's work as a whole, and I can definitely see myself reading more.
If you have read "The Last Challenge," the feel is about the same (with a better ending). The comedy is funny, and I found myself laughing out loud often.
The characters are awesome, but it lost a little for me when the pov changed, making me question who's head I'm in for at least a quarter page.
I like Sharon's work as a whole, and I can definitely see myself reading more.
June 7, 2015
I have enjoyed a few of this author's books so far. Not every detail thrilled me in every book, but they have all the basic elements you'd want from a paranormal romance.
It was entertaining and easy for me to read despite real world distractions. I even liked the talking dog. I'd read the next if she decided to make it a series.
It was entertaining and easy for me to read despite real world distractions. I even liked the talking dog. I'd read the next if she decided to make it a series.
June 29, 2015
Ok. So I was lucky enough to win this ebook. Boy am I glad I did. It was great. Laugh out loud funny. You have vampires, a witch, someone who sees ghosts, vampire slayers, and a talking dog! What's not to love! Really cute, funny story. Would definitely, and already have, recommend.
July 7, 2015
it's a roit the entire way thew. the humor is great some very unexpected place and you laugh your self to tears in places. vampire,witches and talking dogs o my. if this is what my dog is thinking I m in trouble book was given for honest review. LOVED IT
May 12, 2015
Fantastic characters, witty and varied. A really dynamic storyline with lots of twists and turn, which in turn is addictive and fast paced. It really has everything...you have to try this author =-)
May 25, 2015
Great book
Loved this book. Funny without being forced. The characters were great, especially Monty. Looking forward to read more of her books.
Loved this book. Funny without being forced. The characters were great, especially Monty. Looking forward to read more of her books.
June 14, 2015
Cute and easy read
I liked the friendship between Jen and Becky. I loved Monty and I hope he'll be back again in the future.
I liked the friendship between Jen and Becky. I loved Monty and I hope he'll be back again in the future.
October 8, 2018
This book was surprisingly good. I mean it wasn't like world altering but it was absolutely entertaining! Much more entertaining than I thought it was going to be. This book is from the audible romance package.. I kind of feel like I have gone through most of the well known books and I am starting to reach for some that I haven't heard of and most of the time they are awwwwful. but this one was good. I plan on listening to the next one soon.
August 21, 2017
Cute romance
This is a very cute romance filled with ups and downs and peopled by ghosts and vampires, vampire hunters and ghost talkers. There's plenty of action and plot twists. What else do you need?
This is a very cute romance filled with ups and downs and peopled by ghosts and vampires, vampire hunters and ghost talkers. There's plenty of action and plot twists. What else do you need?
November 27, 2017
Not the best writing, but still a cute story with interesting characters.
May 8, 2018
entertaining enough, but not one of my favorites.
January 20, 2019
Everything I love in a Paranormal Romance plus it was funny!
March 29, 2019
Nothing to shout about. An okay read
August 17, 2019
What to do in the middle of night when you ear hurts too much to sleep? Read a silly little PR book to lighten up your mood.
November 21, 2019
Cute, quick read. No thinking involved, just entertainment. I'll read more from this author.
October 24, 2019
This is a silly and fun story that has a talking dog. What’s not to love? I sort of hated the love interest and wished there was more going on with the best friend, as I loved her character, but all in all it was pretty decent and fun.
March 16, 2015
Very funny,sexy and cute
Loved Monty and the crew! A very good read when you just need to take your mind off the real world. Damon I wish my dog could talk.
Loved Monty and the crew! A very good read when you just need to take your mind off the real world. Damon I wish my dog could talk.
April 1, 2016
I stumbled across this while looking for a funny book. I was quite pleased with the story and narrator (purchased on audible). I'm looking forward to hearing many more books by Sharon Karaa!
April 21, 2016
Great Paranormal Romance Comedy
This is a great story. I love Monty! I hope Sharon is going to write Becky and Joe's story. Oh and I want to know what happened to Mr. Angry.
This is a great story. I love Monty! I hope Sharon is going to write Becky and Joe's story. Oh and I want to know what happened to Mr. Angry.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews