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Freak Geek Goddess
When Emily Bishop is knocked unconscious by a rogue football on her first day, she knows high school won’t be easy. Sure, she has the money and a beautiful best friend, but Emily fears she’s genetically destined for dorkdom. In her first couple weeks of high school, Emily suffers a very public puke episode, a near-death experience involving a drunken Neanderthal in the shallow end of a swimming pool and the ultimate date from hell, resulting in rumors that would make a hooker blush. On top of everything else, Emily is forced to confront the division that has grown between her and her best friend and when the two go their separate ways, Emily is left to navigate the social “statusphere” of high school on her own. With rumors swirling and her reputation on the line, there’s only one way to prove her innocence…naked burglary.
280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2014
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62 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
April 6, 2019
Freak, Geek, Goddess is a contemporary story about a young 14 year old navigating the drama of her Freshman year. Told in first person POV, it has Hollywood-esque vibes. The drama is a little over-exaggerated, but there’s definitely plenty of it to go around.
To be totally honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about FGG’s opening scene. After a little while, it becomes evident that the scene unfolds the way it does to foreshadow Kaitlyn’s — the main character’s best friend — betrayal, but, honestly, I think it came off as a little *too* fake and bitchy. I almost DNFed after the first chapter and I was going to let the author know that the story wasn’t for me, but I decided to continue and see where Riley’s story led me.
I’m not totally sure how I feel about that decision.
If there’s one word I would use to describe FGG’s plotline, it would be: puke. There are 47 chapters and my ecopy was exactly 382 pages long and there had to be AT LEAST six or seven puke scenes (I know the summary says Riley puked three times, but she’s not the only one). Maybe more, I don’t even know. But one of those scenes... HAD to be the grossest thing I’ve ever read in my life, and I almost DNFed for the second time right then and there. If these high school students are too stupid to realize the damage that drinking prematurely is going to give them (seriously, what is with YA and thinking drinking in high school is cool?), I’d think the sheer amount of times people puke in this little story would be enough to get their heads out of their asses. I really could have gone my entire life without reading about Riley puking in some asshole’s mouth mid-snog — easily the grossest thing I’ve ever read, and I just finished Cujo a few freakin’ weeks ago. I get that it was supposed to serve humor purposes, but it just... didn’t work. Too much cringe, not enough LOLs.
I think the most interesting thing about this book could have been the plotline involving Harvard Boy, but it was just... handled really poorly. You shouldn’t be writing plotlines about rape and sexual assault in a book that markets itself as being “lighthearted” and “funny.” Rape isn’t funny and sure as hell shouldn’t be treated as a damn joke — and it CERTAINLY shouldn’t be introduced as a last minute, secondhand plotline that’s only introduced after 80% of the book is already over. I am not a rape or sexual assault victim, thank GOD, but I think that those who are don’t want their trauma advertised as some sort of slut-shamey “joke.” The amount of slut-shaming in this book was kinda unbelievable, even for high school students. I only graduated from high school a few years ago and NOBODY acted as terrible as any character in this book did.
Speaking of serious plot-lines handled poorly, can we... talk about Dylan’s disability? Because what the hell was that? Much like the rapey plot-line, Dylan’s so-called disability isn’t introduced until, like, 80% of the plot-line is already over. I am disabled, have been for my whole damn 20 years of life, and I am a MAJOR advocate for disability representation in the media, but this read entirely like the author didn’t really give a fuck about the seriousness of Dylan’s disability and introduced it merely for “diversity brownie points,” à la JK Rowling. Seriously. You just. You don’t do that shit, chief. I totally get Riley hiding her hands because they’re all scarred up and shit, but NEVER noticing that Dylan only has one hand, with no mention of a prosthetic? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen, lmao. Some disabilities are pretty damn hard to hide — I, for example, cannot hide my goddamn limp — and I’m thiiinking hiding a nonexistent hand without a prosthetic would be up there in the points of difficulty. To be honest, it treats disability like a pity prop. Yikes.
Puke, rape, and half-assed disabilities. Huh. What a read.
Overall, I just... I don’t know. At first, this started out to be a fun-if-not-slightly-annoying read and I was planning to give it a solid 3 stars, but that all went downhill kind of quickly. Of course, I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t read this book, everyone has a right to read whatever the hell they want, but I strongly think this was simply the Wrong book to try to handle extremely serious situations in a supposedly “lighthearted” read. The marketing is all wrong and situations like sexual assault and disabilities just... deserve way better. This was not the right book to try to handle that.
To be totally honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about FGG’s opening scene. After a little while, it becomes evident that the scene unfolds the way it does to foreshadow Kaitlyn’s — the main character’s best friend — betrayal, but, honestly, I think it came off as a little *too* fake and bitchy. I almost DNFed after the first chapter and I was going to let the author know that the story wasn’t for me, but I decided to continue and see where Riley’s story led me.
I’m not totally sure how I feel about that decision.
If there’s one word I would use to describe FGG’s plotline, it would be: puke. There are 47 chapters and my ecopy was exactly 382 pages long and there had to be AT LEAST six or seven puke scenes (I know the summary says Riley puked three times, but she’s not the only one). Maybe more, I don’t even know. But one of those scenes... HAD to be the grossest thing I’ve ever read in my life, and I almost DNFed for the second time right then and there. If these high school students are too stupid to realize the damage that drinking prematurely is going to give them (seriously, what is with YA and thinking drinking in high school is cool?), I’d think the sheer amount of times people puke in this little story would be enough to get their heads out of their asses. I really could have gone my entire life without reading about Riley puking in some asshole’s mouth mid-snog — easily the grossest thing I’ve ever read, and I just finished Cujo a few freakin’ weeks ago. I get that it was supposed to serve humor purposes, but it just... didn’t work. Too much cringe, not enough LOLs.
I think the most interesting thing about this book could have been the plotline involving Harvard Boy, but it was just... handled really poorly. You shouldn’t be writing plotlines about rape and sexual assault in a book that markets itself as being “lighthearted” and “funny.” Rape isn’t funny and sure as hell shouldn’t be treated as a damn joke — and it CERTAINLY shouldn’t be introduced as a last minute, secondhand plotline that’s only introduced after 80% of the book is already over. I am not a rape or sexual assault victim, thank GOD, but I think that those who are don’t want their trauma advertised as some sort of slut-shamey “joke.” The amount of slut-shaming in this book was kinda unbelievable, even for high school students. I only graduated from high school a few years ago and NOBODY acted as terrible as any character in this book did.
Speaking of serious plot-lines handled poorly, can we... talk about Dylan’s disability? Because what the hell was that? Much like the rapey plot-line, Dylan’s so-called disability isn’t introduced until, like, 80% of the plot-line is already over. I am disabled, have been for my whole damn 20 years of life, and I am a MAJOR advocate for disability representation in the media, but this read entirely like the author didn’t really give a fuck about the seriousness of Dylan’s disability and introduced it merely for “diversity brownie points,” à la JK Rowling. Seriously. You just. You don’t do that shit, chief. I totally get Riley hiding her hands because they’re all scarred up and shit, but NEVER noticing that Dylan only has one hand, with no mention of a prosthetic? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen, lmao. Some disabilities are pretty damn hard to hide — I, for example, cannot hide my goddamn limp — and I’m thiiinking hiding a nonexistent hand without a prosthetic would be up there in the points of difficulty. To be honest, it treats disability like a pity prop. Yikes.
Puke, rape, and half-assed disabilities. Huh. What a read.
Overall, I just... I don’t know. At first, this started out to be a fun-if-not-slightly-annoying read and I was planning to give it a solid 3 stars, but that all went downhill kind of quickly. Of course, I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t read this book, everyone has a right to read whatever the hell they want, but I strongly think this was simply the Wrong book to try to handle extremely serious situations in a supposedly “lighthearted” read. The marketing is all wrong and situations like sexual assault and disabilities just... deserve way better. This was not the right book to try to handle that.
April 7, 2019
I absolutely adored this coming of age story. I haven't read a young adult novel in quite some time, but was quickly ripped away from my stresses and brought back to a time where anxiety, sweat, and worries ruled...but from the comfort of my safe home. I laughed out loud, I cared for the characters, and I was left wanting more. I read every word in one sitting and could easily have consumed more. I'll read whatever this author writes.
November 7, 2014
The voice is great in this! I love that Emily is so snarky inside her head, observing and commenting on the world, but on the outside when she has to deal with that world, she's a lot quieter and less confident. Both funny and realistic.
The other characters are also very vivid, from her best friend to the (shiver) football jocks, to the surprisingly sympathetic stoners behind the school, to ?friends? at parties.
As your subtitle* suggests, Emily survives... in style.
*The copy I bought was subtitled "Tales of Survival from Trust Fund High". As I write this review, Goodreads doesn't yet mention the subtitle. Are there more stories coming? I'm eager to see them.
The other characters are also very vivid, from her best friend to the (shiver) football jocks, to the surprisingly sympathetic stoners behind the school, to ?friends? at parties.
As your subtitle* suggests, Emily survives... in style.
*The copy I bought was subtitled "Tales of Survival from Trust Fund High". As I write this review, Goodreads doesn't yet mention the subtitle. Are there more stories coming? I'm eager to see them.
April 11, 2020
You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll be glad you're never going back to Highschool.
This is the funniest and most cringeworthy book I've read in a long time. The author has a knack for finding the hilarious in the most dire situations, and for stringing the dire situations together into a chain reaction of laugh-out-loud awful that you just can't turn away from.
Several of the more memorable scenes (like the Strawberry Waffle Incident) may have in fact scarred me for life...
Can't wait for her next book!
This is the funniest and most cringeworthy book I've read in a long time. The author has a knack for finding the hilarious in the most dire situations, and for stringing the dire situations together into a chain reaction of laugh-out-loud awful that you just can't turn away from.
Several of the more memorable scenes (like the Strawberry Waffle Incident) may have in fact scarred me for life...
Can't wait for her next book!
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews